22 answers

Time Out Isn't Working

My son is very strong willed, and time out isn't working with him...he thinks it's a game. He doesn't get upset when we put him there; however, he gets out of the chair, lays of the floor, or runs away...us running behind to catch him and put him back in time out. It's a game to him, and he thinks it's fun and funny. Spankings don't seem to phase him either...of course they don't hurt when you have on a diaper. Spanking hurts his feelings more than anything. We don't know what to do. I've read all the books and we are still in limbo. He needs to learn to mind momma and daddy...God gave him to us to take care of and we are responsible for him and know what is best for him. Has anyone been through anything similar? He just turned 2 in April and is very smart and head strong.

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

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I would recommend the "Parenting with Love and Logic" series. I wish I would have known about it when I had little bitty's.

You need to be persistent with the time out. When he leaves his room, pick him up and put him back on the bed (or in the room). He can cry, scream, etc all he wants. He should not be allowed out of the room until he has been quiet for 2 minutes (1 minute per year of age) and the timer doesn't start until he is quiet. I know this is hard but eventually it will work. My sister has a PhD in psychology and told me how to do this. It took 2 weeks to break my daughter's tantrums. You have to be precise and not let up even once or you will undo all you've started. Hang in there, you'll make it! My daugher was 6 when I used this with her. Very smart and headstrong...but I'm smarter :) Spanking just becomes frustrating for you and possible abusive. Ck out LoveandLogic.com for great parenting ideas.

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Not sure if you've read LOve and Logic, but this is the most helpful book I ever read. I'd just put him in his room so he knows he's not getting any attention. Everything is also done w/a happy face and a 'smile' in your voice letting him know that he's not 'sucking you in' and you have it under control. As hard as it is sometimes, don't get on his level...he's 2 after all. He'll do better once he understands that good behavior is the only way he will get the attention he wants and that he can't 'rattle' you...after all, that's the most fun thing for a 2 year old! :) Good Luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful

Both of mine also treated it like a game at first, but they eventually got it. Be patient and he will learn what timeout means. Timeout is not a punishment it is a way of teaching discipline. It teaches them to calm down when they are upset or angry.

I like to think that watching supernanny has helped me. LOL My daughter is 27 months and we have been using the time out since she was 18 months old. I do it the way that supernanny does it and it has worked. First, give the child a warning, if they do that again they will go to time out...After the warning is given if they screw up again tell them that they are going to time out. Use the same place in your house everytime for time out. When you place them in time out, get on their level and tell them why they are there and that they can get up when the timer rings. (set timer a minute per age)If they get up before timer rings, you dont say anything to them, all you do is take them and put them back in time out. Dont pick them up, walk them to time out. If they are screaming while in time out dont respond....if they are rolling around on the floor, as long as they are still in the time out area, then dont respond. Never talk to them until the timer rings. After timer rings, tell them to say sorry and give you a hug..I know its alot but it has worked for my daughter and my 5 yr old. Good Luck! I have also bought the supernanny book, and have found some great ideas.

You need to be persistent with the time out. When he leaves his room, pick him up and put him back on the bed (or in the room). He can cry, scream, etc all he wants. He should not be allowed out of the room until he has been quiet for 2 minutes (1 minute per year of age) and the timer doesn't start until he is quiet. I know this is hard but eventually it will work. My sister has a PhD in psychology and told me how to do this. It took 2 weeks to break my daughter's tantrums. You have to be precise and not let up even once or you will undo all you've started. Hang in there, you'll make it! My daugher was 6 when I used this with her. Very smart and headstrong...but I'm smarter :) Spanking just becomes frustrating for you and possible abusive. Ck out LoveandLogic.com for great parenting ideas.

strap him in a high chair with the connection behind him. and then set him in the corner facing the corner. put a timer on for two minutes; one minute per age and then release him. good luck.

Can you say more about what the time outs are for?

We used a little booklet called "Under Loving Command" by Al & Pat Fabrizio when our strong-willed girls were little. It mainly reminded us of our responsibility to be very consistent in obeying God ourselves as we taught the girls they had to obey us. It is available online at www.ntmu.net/underlovingcomand.htm.

Good books by James Dobson:
The Strong Willed Child
Bringing Up Boys
Spank on the thigh until he cries. Then stay with him a few moments, explain you cannot do that and if he runs away or does it again repeat this proceedure until he gets it. It may take time but it is worth it. You are the boss and it is because we love them that we want them to obey.
Please don't start the counting to three. If he is running out to the street and you yell stop, counting to three and he is run over. See? Also they learn to manipulate with counting and wait just to see how far and how long it will take you to count to three.
Be strong, loving and ask God for strength, because it will try your patience sometimes, but it is worth it.

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