The Role of Fathers

My husband is VERY involved. He actually quit his job with Logitech after 10 years to be with us. He became a SAHD and it was a rough transition for him, emotionally. He got into the swing of things pretty fast. My husband started helping me out at my office and then eventually started running it. We work 4 half days a week together and the rest of the time is spent with the kids. He is a HUGE part of the child-rearing....and the kids love that he's around all of the time. He still changes 97% of all of the diapers, does all of the dishes and is cooking more. NOTHING he ever did before. The more he does with the kids, the more he helps around the house.

Dads are huge. So are moms.
As my mom says, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Around here, we try to be good trees.
;-)

My dad died when I was 1 1/2, so I don't remember him at all, but my sisters remembered him doing many things with them without our mother. My husband has always been a co-parent, from the time the kids were born. He came to most checkups, we traded off taking workdays off if one of them was sick, I was out and about on the weekends - I didn't take them food shopping with me or to showers/parties with me, I went away for weekends occasionally starting when they were toddlers, I did business travel for up to a week at a time when my daughter was preschool age, my husband has done some of the parent teacher conferences (without me). He isn't an assistant parent and I have never been the "primary" parent. He wasn't "helping" with the kids, just as my salary wasn't "helping" with the finances. These things were equally our responsibilities.

My husband is an AMAZING dad. He works full time on a rotating schedule so he'll actually stay on the military base for 2-3 days at a time then he'll be off for 2-3 days, when he comes home the first thing he does is change clothes and play with the kiddos... He'll even take our 2 1/2 year old to breakfast and the park, just the 2 of them and leave me home lol. They have all these inside jokes and they have so much fun. I got so lucky that our family is his #1 priority, even if he's tired and stressed he always makes time for us. I also think it's sad that some mom's don't want to "bother" their husbands with the kids after a long day of work.. as a SAHM we ALWAYS have long days of work and we don't ever get days off so that just seems stupid to me.

The role of fathers is immeasurably important! Sure, people grow up and have great lives and become great people without dads or moms in their lives, but the positive impact a good father makes is extremely important! Like you, I don't understand women who think it's grand that their husbands work themselves to a nub at two jobs so they can stay at home. Their kids and dad don't have much time together at all. My husband has been repeatedly offered a job that would bring in around 40K more than he makes now. He does well now, but if he took that job, he would be gone several days a week and working 12 hour days all the time. The main reason we don't want him to do that is because when our kids are grown, they can look back and say, "My dad was THERE." We both work, and he takes them places, cooks them meals, bathes them, reads to them, etc. -just like I do.

My dad and I have a good relationship, but we both regret the fact that he didn't spend very much time with me at all while I was a child. We had our special fishing trips, but other than that my mother kind of kept me to herself and didn't "bother" my dad after he came home from work. He also worked A LOT, which was good and not so good. I'm just happy that my husband is very involved in our boys' lives.

so your post doesn't get pulled - move the link to your SWH.

My husband is a hands on dad. PARENTS - not just one or the other - TOGETHER are important for children. They are role models and are supposed to provide unconditional love for their children.

Some dad's don't get it. Some dad's do. Some didn't have role models - their dad's didn't know what to do or providing for the family was their way of showing love.

How do some dad's find time to bond? They MAKE time. They carve out an hour before they need to go to bed for their second job...they take 30 minutes to toss a ball before they go to their second job.

To be honest - I knew a few working mom's who DREADED going home. The baby stage - they totally hated. They couldn't WAIT for their kid to grow up and be able to "do" stuff with...unfortunately, this bit them in the butt and their kids are distant and self-sufficient (which isn't bad) but know their "importance" in their mom's life....same can be said for dad's.

It's all about priorities. Some people have them. Some people don't.

No sure if my husband is a "hands on" dad to my kids but I am sure he is a good dad and care extremely for our kids and tries his best, which is not always the best, but what exactly is the best?
He travels for work, our kids don't get to play with him every day after work, and sometimes they don't even talk on the phone.
When he comes home during the weekend, he is all ours, no just one kid, is a family event. Time is so limited with him that we all stay together during weekends and do things together.
Not always fun things for the kids. And every weekend (unless one of the kids is sick) me and him go to the movies.
My kids never have know what is to need something, and I have never had to make my husband make sure is that way.
My ex husband was at home by 6pm but it didn't matter, my daughter didn't know what is to play with him and I had to make a whole case everytime something need to be care.
I wish my husband was a little more sporty, and a little more outgoing, and less of a geeky, but the other day he took out his atary, and play with oldest and then give her his old Super man magazine, sooo nerdy, lol, but my daughter thought he was the coolest, I think he is "hands on" on his own way.

My husband gets home from work btwn 5-5:50 on weeknights. After his shower, he plays with the boys while i make dinner. They play cars, wrestle, guns, build forts. I really feel like he gets some good, quality time with them. He talks to them at the dinner table, helps with bath and jammies, and we all go to my oldest sons room and read Good Night Moon as a family. He has weekends off, and spends as much time with our sons as possible. He loves hanging out with them, and I really see that it is so good for all of them!

My husband is just as involved as I am. I am SAHM and he is away during the day more, of course. However, he spends all the time he is home with us, as a family. He gets just as much quality time with my son. Reads to him, plays with him, takes him places for guy time. I was (and am) so very close with my dad. He was my best friend growing up, and I knew I wanted to marry a man, who would be a father like him. Thank God, I found one.

I would like to add, that a MALE figure is so important in kid's lives. It doesn't have to be a father. It can be a grandfather, teacher, coach, uncle, friend, Big Brother, etc. While having a father around is ideal, it's just not always going to work that way. If a child has a man in their life they love and respect, it is wonderful for their growth.

Well, you're kind of preaching to the choir here.

Of COURSE, in an IDEAL situation, as stated by some people in this thread, having a HANDS ON Dad is the way to go.

However, if you have parenting conflict with said HANDS ON DAD, or no matter WHAT you do Dad is just not that into parenting, your kids STILL have the chance of turning out pretty good.

Mine have.

So sure, in a PERFECT WORLD, yeah.

If you don't live in a perfect world, you can still raise healthy happy successful children with out DAD.

Just sayin'.

:)

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/18035726042559348737

I think fathers should be active parents and that everyone benefits when he's more than an accessory. My own father was MIA but I spent a lot of time with uncles and my grandfather.

My husband is a very active father and takes pride in his role. He talks to each of his children, spends time with them as individuals, makes their dreams important (football games, band concerts, school plays, honor society inductions, etc.) He makes dinner most nights. He likes an annual family vacation in part b/c it's time as a family to really hang out and enjoy each other's company.

I think Dads are huge for young children. It doesn't have to be fancy. Playing with rubber duckies in the bath or reading a book or pretending to be a horse for a little while can be important to both father and child.

I think that for any parent, especially in this 2 working parents world, it is important to make some of your time with your kids quality time - and that applies to moms and dads.

My husband would come home tired but he could not wait to hold the baby and make her laugh. Once we had two he would spend more time with the older one while I was nursing or taking a nap or do hold the baby while chatting with the toddler while I made dinner. He enjoyed playing games, giving horse back rides, "flying" them through the house under his arms, etc. It was what he looked forward to after work. He would have about half an hour of wild daddy type roughhousing, but then would do more sit-down games or just talk. He even watched silly kid shows with her. It helps that he is a kid-at-heart. He still has long silly rambling conversations with them, and watches the cartoons they like, and engages them all the time. They are just as much his kids as they are mine, and I am so glad to have been smart enough at the time to say yes when he asked me to marry him.
PS: my father took the "traditional" role: he made the money and my mom did almost EVERYTHING else. He was a real chauvinist, saying things like "that is what I have a wife for" when asked to do dishes or something. I do not know how my mom put up with him. Still, I felt close to him, we would sit every sunday together in his big chair and listen to classical music on the radio, I helped him by handing him nails and such when he had projects around the house. So while he more was the dinner-and-money-and-hammering-on-the-house only kind of parent, I still felt close to him.

Great article, thanks for sharing (and as mentioned, get that link down in SWH - don't want to see a good thread like this pulled over a technicality).

My husband is very involved with the kids. He's had phases when he just shuts down for a few weeks (mood disorder) and even in those phases the kids are the last people he disconnects with. I have friends whose husbands are great earners and have power jobs, but the downside is that they basically provide a paycheck, show up for some weekend sports and that's it because their jobs are so demanding. I don't think I would trade our arrangement (we both work and both have time with the kids) for something like that.

I think father's are very important to children, boys and girl alike. I do think that a dad playing with their young kids is super important but I think a father's role really shines as those kids begin to develop a more mature sense of self. I think a father's role in helping a child transition into teenager and adult is huge. I know my husband has times when he is here a lot and times when work is extremely demanding. We do try to put an emphasis on eating dinner all together as much as we can and when he is not here I still eat dinner at the table with my children. The kids are all over him the minute he walks in the door and he welcomes that. He usually takes his first half hour home to focus on and play with the kids before he decompresses from work. Then he will usually jump on the computer a few minutes or whatever until dinner. He does the older kids bathes and reads them their stories almost nightly. I rock my two year old and sing to my four year old so we are both involved in bedtime. Here lately his job has been really busy. On those days we just do our best and I am grateful for how hard he works so our kids can have a better life. I didn't have a father and I know that a busy hardworking on the go dad is a thousand times better than not having one. I am grateful to have a husband who is home from work everyday and not at the bar blowing off steam who works hard and does his best to balance work and family.

As a parent to a teenage girl and a GS leader to a bunch of other teenage girls, I see that Dads are important at this age to help teach girls what a healthy (or unhealthy) relationship looks like.

Whether Dad can be home every night or if he has to work long hours at his job(s) outside the home, if he is accessible and approachable for ANY topic of discussion, that's a good thing.

Very Important!

My husband comes home and is attacked by all the kids...and he loves it! All ages (20, 17, 8 & 6 y/o boys & 3y/o girl) have something they need/want to share with Dad. It makes him smile and it makes me smile to hear them all recount their daily activities and get his thoughts and attention!

On the weekends my husband plays with all the kids. XBOX w/the older ones...batting cages and baseball practice with the young ones...board games with the girl...then after the little ones go to bed it's Mommy/Daddy time! ;)

I can not imagine NOT having a husband who was involved, better yet that didn't WANT to be involved and included in our day-to-day goings on! But maybe we are abnormal? My husband still calls me on his lunch hour EVERY DAY...and this year we will be celebrating our 16 year anniversary!

It is extremely important for fathers to interact with their children. They play a vital role in stability, security, having a sense of self and I've seen it and heard it many times how much guys craved this attention from their fathers.

No matter how much women do, there is a place for the fathers and I've found that boys and girls who have had a healthy, I stress healthy relationship with their father usually feels more capable of handling life. They need to spend quality time with their children and it is not how much they work or spend for them, it's the amount of interaction, attention and time they take to get involved. That is why it has haunted your first husband.

I just saw this question, and it made me tear up. My dad's birthday is this week, and he has always been amazing. My husband is also amazing, although in different ways. He works long hours at his job, but we eat dinner together every night. Yes, many people think that 7:00 is too late for dinner, but it works for us. I wouldn't sacrifice that quality time at the table for anything else. After dinner (or if I'm still getting things on the table when he gets home), hubby spends time with the kids. Even if it's just watching TV together, we make sure that the little ones get cuddle time and time to talk about their day. We also do our best to treat weekends as family time. I know that we will lost more control of this as they get older, but right now we get questions like "So, what are we doing fun today?" on Saturdays and it always makes me smile... As for the vacations, I guess I always took for granted that dads are part of the trip. With the exception of a rare couple's retreat, vacations are, to me, all about family. I love that my hubby uses all of his vacation days (as opposed to many career types at his company) without any guilt. Even if we spend Veterans Day cleaning up around the house and prepping a yummy meal, it is a great chance for all of us to re-charge and hang out as a family (plus it's great learning for the little ones to see that daddy and mommy are a team around the house). I won't claim that we do everything right, but I do feel like we're on the right path with our "old school" values. Thanks for asking this question... it gave me a great opportunity to reflect on what I value and to appreciate the great guy I have :)

My husband is an amazing dad. He works quite a bit (a SPED teacher with lots of paperwork, coaches basketball and waiters one or two nights a week), but no matter how tired he is he makes time for the kids. He wakes up with the first one of them who wakes and helps to get them breakfast and spends time playing before he has to head to work. When he gets home he plays while I finish getting dinner ready, he usually does the baths if home and he always put at least one of the kids to bed (among lots of other things). He's very hands on and both of our children absolutely adore him.