So my 19 month old daughter has entered the "no" phase. Everything I say to her, both statements and questions, I get "no" as a response. She has a fairly high vocabulary for a 19 month old, and is learning new words every day. I used to get a wide variety od responses and she enjoys using the new words she is learning. She will tell me other things at times, when she initiates the communication, but if I initiate, it is just "no." I realize this is a stage that most kids pass though, but I am not sure how to handle it. I don't want to over react, or encourage this behavior by responding poorly.
Any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated :)
Thanks mamas!!
Basically, the more you say it, the more you'll hear it. Try "no, thank you" to her, and really start emphacizing "please" and "thank you" for everything she wants or does. They are truly the magic words, and the more fun you make them, the more eager she'll be to use them.
Share with her when the option is "yes/no" or when the answer needs "words"
ie: Suzie, today we are going to the park, use your words to tell me what you want to do first.
ie: Suzie do you want to go to the park yes or no?
it takes some time but it works
Hi Lucy,
Honestly, I never found the A or B solution to work with my son when he was younger. I can use it now and it's successful but at that age it didn't really make a difference. Can't really avoid this phase, it's fun to have the power of "no" and all she's really doing is checking out her new no skill. No way to stop saying no yourself...it just doesn't work that way and even if you stop saying it to her you still communicate with others saying by saying no and she WILL observe that. So what is my final verdict? Just ignore it when it starts to irritate you. Don't give her an option like "do you want a banana?" just say "yummy, we're having banana for snack today" and if she says "no" say "okay, no snack today then" and remove the snack so she gets the true meaning of no and not just the fun side effect of irritating her mum and dad.
Good luck!
T.
Isn't this phase so much fun? Just wait till she starts repeating everything you say as you say it.
For the 'no' thing, try not to ask her yes or no questions. Give her a simple choice where either choice is acceptable. Instead of "Do you want to wear a dress?" ask "Will you wear the red dress or the blue dress?".
When she's on a roll and 'no' is all she's saying - play with it. Sing Yankee Doodle but substitute all the words with 'No'. Any song will do. When my son got into it sometimes I could turn it into a game and I'd become the tickle monster. Sometimes I would ask him "What did you say? Did you say NO to your Mommy who loves you so much?" and then the tickling would start. Usually we'd end up giggling and catching our breath, then I'd ask him if he wanted me to stop and he'd say "NO!" and we'd start again.
I would give her questions that require a choice, not yes or no:
"Which one do you want, milk or juice?"
Sometimes they just say no for the heck of it w/o it having any meaning whatsoever.
Hi Mama,
Welcome to toddlerhood. How you pass through these next few weeks will set the course for the next few year. = )
I know it sounds strange,l but your child is starting to learn how she interactw with you and you with her in a more one on one way. She is learning she can tell you what to do and how to do it. More importantly, you're learning how to respond so you get what you want, while she thinks she's calling the shots. Parenthood is all about juggling.
As many Moms have mentioned, use a or b choices when ever possible. When a child feels they have control, they will obey.
Also, remove "no" from your vocabulary. No is a word that eliminates choices and starts fights. Instead of "No we cannot go to the park" say "we'll go to the park tomorrow when the rain stops." This opens choices and offers ideas.
Raising toddlers is all about changing how you talk. The more yes based answers you give, the more cooperation you'll receive.
R. Magby
Excuse my brief answer but, try to ask questions that she can't give a no answer to. For example, "You may wear the green dress or the red dress, You may eat bananas or apples".
And don't give no answers yourself. Say for example, "I would rather not do that, or I like the red one better."
Good luck....And when you feel like screaming walk slowly to the front door, go outside, shut the door, and then scream.
Yes,I experienced with this no phase with my kids too :) . What I do that What ever answer you need from her tell the opposite to do like,
There is a bowl of mashed potato & (name of your daughter) dont want to eat it.Then she will automatically say opposite which will be the answer you want to be done,I do this with my kids for few months then they move on from this NO phase,
Try it,Good Luck
