Hi! My 4 year-old has been having bad dreams lately. He wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes up the whole house. He's usually pretty good about going back to sleep, but last night he was up about an hour/hour and a half just positive that the shadows in his room were "moving". We've done what we think is everything to assure him the shadows are the same things he sees in the light. I'm pretty sure it's really normal for him to be having bad dreams at this age, but why all of a sudden the fear of the dark? We're hoping it's a stage, any suggestions? He takes my husband's firefighter's prayer coin to bed with him to "be brave" but that dissappeared last night and he's a bit freaked out. Thanks!
My 4 year old daughter was having some bad dreams when she had a sleepover with my mother-in-law. Grandma's solution was to give Sarah a garbage bag to keep next to the bed. When she had a bad dream, she could throw it away. Sounds a little corny to me, but when Sarah came home, she went straight to the cabinet, grabbed a garbage bag and put it by her bed. Since then, I haven't heard her complain once!
My four year old daughter has had bad dreams and night terrors for as long as i can remember. I've tried many things, meditating with her, putting up a dream catcher. One thing that really has made a difference is this "nightlight" called a cloud b twilight turtle (we have the lady bug actually) It fills the room with little pin holes of light that look like constellations and it gives the illusion that it's brighter than it actually is. It has worked wonders! It also comes with a birth certificate and a constellation guide, and turns off my itself to save on battery usage. Hope that helps!
It IS normal for a child to become afraid at night! Children with good imaginations will use that imagination at night too -- and for some reason they create things that become scary. We are starting to go through this too, so I don't have any solutions to share. But our Pediatrician warned us that this would happen and that it is normal!
Yikes! I don't blame him for being scared, your post alone freaked me out!! :) I have a 4-year-old as well who is having nightmares, scared of the dark, etc. Our solution has been to put a couple of his "toughest" stuffed animals around him to protect him like his dinosaur and fake bear rug. He knows that they will protect him and if he gets scared he is supposed to let them know.
E., I am a child development specialist and mother of two grown sons. Your son's fear is a very common one and happens in this age group when they have trouble discerning fantasy and reality. There was a great Sesame Street book where one of the characters actually talked about shadows. They showed it in the dark and then with the lights on. My son loved this book. To show the power of their imaginations, one night as I read to my son in the dark he said, "Mom, are you really a witch?" (It thought, "I knew I had bad days with the kids but was it that bad?")
Could you just leave a lamp on with a lower watt bulb so he can sleep but then wake up and be reassured by the reality of what he is seeing? There are two other good books about monsters where the child masters the fear, WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE? and THERE IS A MONSTER IN MY CLOSET. Hope this helps. A.
I agree with the dreamcatcher suggestion - that was my first thought too. We have one of those hanging in my son's room after he started having bad dreams and it worked like a charm. There is also the "anti-monster spray" trick (just some water in a spraybottle, generally, although you could add a small scent with lavendar oil or something too) where you spray the areas the monsters are supposed to be so that they go away and can't come back. You could apply that to the spots where the shadows are lurking in his room. It helps if you have him do the spraying/misting. You may have to do it for several nights before he's convinced that they won't come back.
Good luck!
It's not normal for a child to be afraid. Maybe he saw a scary commercial on the t.v. or something. You can leave a nightlight on in his room or right outside his room with his door partially closed. That's not so bad an alternative for your peace and quiet and his peace of mind.
My daughter had bad dreams and night time fears off and on for 5 years (ages 3-8). We ended up making our own "Bad Dreams Go Away Spray". There are several versions online for sale, but our's comes with a cute and colorful bed time story (written and illustrated by me about our experience) and a Parent/Child Activity Kit and it gives the child a sense of control since he/she makes their own "magic" spray to keep bad dreams, bed bugs and anything else they are afraid of... away. Check it out at: www.baddreamsgo awayspray.com. (kit includes: book, "chubby" sized spray bottle, stickers and recipes for all the spray they'll need)
Good luck and good night :)
B.
Some friends of mine gave their son a "special" flash light that "zapps" the monsters or shadows away. Just make sure you have lots of batteries! It worked like a charm for them. Their son slept with the flashlight for a year. Never woke anyone up, just used the flash light when he got scared. I hope this helps...I remember being scared of the dark and it's hard...
My daughter was climbing into our bed because of bad dreams so I took the dream catcher I had in my room and put it in her window. I explained to her how dream catchers are believed to work and she was intrigued. She has not complained of bad dreams since then.
She also liked my explanation of the dark - might work for you too...
I told her that the nice thing about the dark is that it helps calm our mind and make us feel cozy, like when she was inside my tummy floating around in the dark. (I was recently pregnant so she was really into pretending that she was inside me, being born, etc.)
Come to think of it, your recent pregnancy might have triggered a little regression in the form of being scared of the dark. I'm sure it's just a phase but I would just reassure him that it's ok to feel scared sometimes - maybe he is feeling the pressure of being the oldest child, having to be brave, being a big boy, etc. - sometimes being allowed to "be a baby" without feeling bad about it will get it out of our systems (even as adults we need this sometimes).
Anyway - good luck! I am married 7 years and have a 4 year old and twin 2 month olds so I can relate to your situation!
Love the flashlight idea, that was a great suggestion. Maybe a night light that he picks out or glow doll, I know they have a glow worm, sea horse and pooh bear. I bought spray bottles and put some glow in the dark paint, just to coat the inside of the bottle. I made stickers and put on the bottle one was a monster spray and the other was a ghost spray. I put the circle with the line through the bottle. I put them in a plastic shopping bag and told the girls I purchase them at a store. The lady at the store said that as long as the bottle glowed in the dark the spray would work. She said you will not be able to see the spray because it is magicial(that was two years ago). The girls sprayed their whole room and it worked. The girls never watch TV or go to movies so they have great imaginations. Maybe you could do a good night spray or shadow spray. Good luck.
