Sometimes It's All So Out of Control...

Luka-- I promise - there is NO Mommy who does not-- at some time-- feel awful---. I agree with your goals - and children are very challenging. You don't tell us how old the children are--- but if they are close together in age- they are likely going to be harder. What would happen if you had taken them out of the car- taken them inside ( when they were swinging at each other) -- and put them all down for naps?? -- You could have said ''' you are too young to be out of bed-- you hit?? -- you go to bed'''' --- Now that would certainly have messed up your day--- but it surely would have gotten their attention. Then-- you could have said ( depending on their ages) -- -''' Now Daddy will have to do the errands I was going to do- -and that means '''' -----x------''' something like -- no special dinner we were going to make-- or less time with Daddy- or -- some consequence that is both logical and sad to them.

You'll figure it out-- I hear a really smart- great Mom-- and no one gets through raising children without making some mistakes --- it happens--

Blessings,
J.-- aka - Old Mom

We have all been there, when the fighting and the back talking and the not listening just seems like too much. I tell my husband sometimes it feels like a cheese grater running over my brain! You sound like you are doing a great job, just take a moment and breath, just breath. Motherhood it the hardest job there is, and sometimes we get it a little wrong, but as long as we love with all we have, and admit when we make a mistake, then it is all good.

im in the same boat with a 4 year old a 2 year old and 5 month old all boys.if you find help please let me know!!! i need help just as much as you and ive done it too so don't feel too bad sometimes we just can't take it anymore!!

I have been feeling the same way the last 2 weeks. I have 2 boys, 5 and 3 and they have been fighting non stop. My oldest is very emotional and easily brought to tears. My youngest is so hyper and it always feels like in public is is so out of control. I have gotten to the point where I don't want to take both out in public for together. Yesterday I HAD to go to the bank. My 5 year old had no school so I took them both. Talked all the way there about how we would sit calmly, talk quietly, and listen. The second I went through the bank door the little one took off running. The bigger one went right after him. They were load and for the first time ever my 5 year old had an all out melt down after being told he was grounded for behave that way. It was the most embarrassing day of my life. If it had happened any other time I would have walked out and went straight home, but our bank cards were stolen and I had to fill paper work out in person. I had planned to do more errands that day but instead we went straight home and they both went to bed for an hour. They seem to both be going through behavioral issues that seem very age appropriate (or inappropriate it seems) but I feel like I am loosing my mind. I am almost 5 months pregnant with twins which makes me cranky anyway. It is all I can do not to go into a yelling rage when they act that way. I was actually going to post a similar question but was afraid of the response I might get. It's good to know I'm not alone. I think we as mom's are the queens when it comes to feeling guilty. Reading how others feel at times really puts it all in perspective. Sorry this is not advice. But more like moral support and kindred mommy spirits.

Luka,

I only have two kids but you sound like we could switch lives and things wouldn't change too much.

My kids are 6 and 2 1/2 and the little one constantly beats up on her big brother. She's also a stubborn, willful, independent, defiant, mulish, just like her mom little hellion. She's the one that I'll find climbing anything and everything and with mouth off with the toddler-ese version of "I'm a monkey" when I tell her to get down.

I'm an only child so sibling dynamics are beyond me but things I've done to curb the fighting in my house include: sending them each to their rooms to play independently, standing each in opposite corners of the house in time out, taking one or the other on an errand with me (or hubby) and leave the other home, flat out laying down the law. "If you two can't behave and keep your hands to yourself I'm going to turn this car around and there will be no _______________" and then I fill in the blank with whatever we're heading out to do.

Hope this helps,
Melissa