Need an Easy Car Seat for My 2 Year Old Who Refuses to Get in to His Car Seat

My son was this exact age when I was very pregnant with my second child and he would give me trouble getting into his car seat. And of course, it was too uncomfortable to lift him into it (I had a van) so I had to "coax" him in. And he knew it! So I picked a day where we didn't really need to be anywhere and I had talked to him early (when he was happy and receptive, not in the middle of the conflict) and told him that I really needed him to work on being a big boy and get in his car seat, that if he couldn't cooperate, we couldn't go anywhere in the car. So we were on the way to the park (and again, I purposely set this up to teach him this lesson) and sure enough, he wouldn't get in his car seat. So without any yelling, but more "Oh, I'm so sorry that you won't be able to go," took him out of the car and brought him inside crying and screaming. I just empathized with him and said maybe we could try again another time. He NEVER gave me any trouble (with THAT situation anyway ;-) again. Now he's 14 and I'm still using that same technique (logical consequences) and if I'm consistent, it usually works. The key is "empathy" and not getting overly emotional or letting them push your buttons.

Good luck!

J.

2 moms found this helpful

I liked PP's idea about getting a special toy which stays in the carseat. I'd also like to add this suggestion:

My 2 year old is very strong willed. He started fighting the carseat this summer, but i discovered it was about his lack of control. As it turned out, he is happy to get it the seat as long as he can do it on his own and help with the buckles. What way he doesn't feel like he is being captured and restrained. Invite your little guy to climb into the seat on his own. Ask him which arm he thinks he should put through first. Invite him to hand you the free end of the buckle or hold the piece still while you connect it. I think you'll find he's much more willing to get in the seat if he feels more involved/in control of this situation.

Hope this helps,
T.

1 mom found this helpful

If you need a new car seat, maybe you could let him pick out his big boy booster seat. If you already have a 5-point that turns into a booster, Im afraid Im not sure what to suggest. I sure hope it gets easier. Battles of wills are so hard.

Hello G.,
I love the shows supper nanny & nanny 911. I get alot of use full tips. I saw an episode where a lady with triplets was having problems with the kids and their car seat. The nanny had the dad bring all three car seats into the house, and let the kids play with them, sit in them and get comfortable with them. The mom was convinced the kids wouldn't want anything to do with the car seats, and that it would be more of a hassle bla bla bla
Anyways, it worked. The mom was plesently surprised. Maybe try that. Or does he have a favorite song that you can sing to him as your strapping him in, to distract him? That works (sometimes) with my daughter. I get eye contact with her and sing a silly song and keep on singing with eye contact until shes strapped in. good luck. A. Z.

I don't know how much your son weighs, but they have a booster seat w/ a back and there's no straps, they just use the regular seat belt. They have to weigh at least 30 lbs.

I wouldn't buy a car seat just because he doesn't like to be in the car. Like another mom suggested, you may want to have the car seat in the house so he can play with it. However, if you've found that your car seat is tricky to handle, you may want to check out any of the Britax car seats. They are on the more expensive side, but they are very easy to use. My sister-in-law hated her old car seat since it is difficult to use, I suggested she get the Britax. She did and loved it! She passed her old car seat down to my mother-in-law which then went down to me. I hate it, but it's a spare for the other car.

My 18 month old daughter is also getting squirmy when I'm buckling her in. I talk with her and tell her where we are going. Sometimes, I'm on the run and give her a snack in the car. This helps settle her down as well. Sometimes, she just wants her blankie.

Good luck!

I used to have the same problem with my daughter. I realized that when I told her exactly where we were going and what we were doing it helped a lot! So before we go out to door I say "We are going Bye Bye in the Car" so she knows that she has to get in her seat. If she's still resistant to getting in her seat then I ask her "Do you want to say Bye Bye to the doggies (or whatever else)?" and make sure that she can do that and when we are done I put her in her seat. Maybe try the same type of thing but have him say bye bye to the house or the yard or whatever else so he is preoccupied with saying good bye instead of screaming.

Other than that... I think we are both in the midst of the Terrific Two's that will probably have our children frustrating us 85% of the time until they grow out of this wonderful stage. Take a deep breath and count to 100 (I would say 10 but it's usually not high enough for me) and be sure to try not to react like he wants you to.

Good Luck!

Lots of good ideas for the coaxing side of it...as for a car seat, we have the Britax Marathon. Our 18 mo old sometimes decides to fight getting in and this seat works pretty good. Once you have the chest strap done, the bottom is a lot easier. The buckles are individual on the bottom, so you don't have to try to get them connected and into the snap at one time like some of the other car seats out there.

Good luck.

Try the Britax Regent. They are little pricey but my 5 year old loves it. It looks like a big boy seat but is still has a 5 point harness and goes up to 85lbs.

My daughter is almost 3. She insists on "doing it herself" and if I don't let her she has a fit. So, I put her in the car and close all the doors (in the garage with the garage door closed) and I give her a couple of minutes to explore while I attend to laundry (in the garage), get my purse, etc. Then she is usually willing to get right in her seat when I come out w/ my purse ready to go. If she's not I tell her at that point that I will do it for her if she does not get right in to her seat. She also sometimes wants to do up the upper buckle on her car seat and I always thank her for "helping" Mommy. My car is an automatic and the parking brake is on; she doesn't usually spend any time in the front seats, just playing w/ the dome light, etc. I think at this age they want to do things for themselves and they don't like to lose control; once they are in the car seat they can't move, etc. so they've lost control of what's going on.
Good luck!

Actually when my daughter was 2 years old, she went through the same stage, thinking she was "big" enough to not sit in a carseat {(she was all of 17 lbs). . .

One day while out riding she makes this grand announcement that she wasn't going to sit down in her car seat and I pulled up to the local police department and asked the officer on duty to have a nice talk with her. He proceeded to measure her, asked us to return to the car, and he had her sit into the car...after about 10 minutes of giving her a lecture on what the state law was, and why it is good to stay in her seat, we haven't had a problem.

This officer didn't use any scare tactics, only stating the facts of why seat belts are important for adults and why the child needs a car seat/booster seat. My daughter is now 6 years old and weighs 33 lbs, so she will be in the seat for a very long time. Hope this information is helpful!

If you can, rather than fight him make it a non-issue. Either walk to where you are going or simply tell him that he can't go. Then wait until your hubby or someone else is available to watch him while you run your errands. I had to do this for about 6 months with my oldest son (he's now 5). I always insist on safety first. Both of my sons know when I say, "Safety always comes first" that is the end of the discussion and if they want to go they HAVE to be buckled in. My oldest went through a phase where he unbuckled himself and I always stopped the car immediately and re-buckled him. A few times I made him walk more than 2 miles home (I did too - not by himself) and then I walked back to the car after my husband got home. Also, with safety issues I would never bribe because it rewards them for being stubborn - if they hold out long enough they'll get a treat. Good luck.

Bring the carseat into the house and let him play with it and practice strapping himself in. My son loved that and now goes into his carseat without an issue.

Make it easy on yourself - set up times where everyone else in the family is going to do something fun and when he fusses, he can't go. This means having a sitter on hand and sticking to your guns.

You can do it! It will only take a couple of times for him to know you mean business about his safety about sitting in his car sear.

Blessings,
B.

The other Moms gave some great advice. My only suggestion is to try bringing the car seat into your house and let him "play" it in. Let him explore it, sit in it with out the buckles and explain to him how it works. Perhaps once he has a chance to "discover" the entire seat, he may not be as resistant to it. Good luck.

I like Thea's advice. My little one likes to climb into her car seat allll by herself. We have an Expedition so it is sort of like climbing Mt. Everest for her, but she seems to enjoy the challenge. When she FINALLY makes it up into her car seat, she "helps" me with the straps by putting her arms in and lining up the buckles. She's actually getting to the point where she can almost snap them in herself (oh happy day). We have a Britax Boulevard that seems to be very comfortable for her, and the straps are pretty sturdy so they do not get twisted up. I think that makes it easier for her to "help" me. But I am sure any car seat would work, really.

Good luck and happy travels!

My sister had a similar problem with her son not wanting to sit in his carseat and unbuckling himself while she was driving! She had enough one day and pulled into a fire station. The firefighters were MORE than happy to talk to my nephew about how dangerous his behavior was. It worked!!! He stopped doing it that day.
Maybe it is worth a try. I'm sure you could call the station first to make sure they had the time. Good luck!

Hi G.,
Sounds like you've got a normal 2 year old boy on your hands! Unfortunately, there's only one thing to do, and that's to prove who's the boss. It's not about the car seat, as I'm sure you understand. That's just what he's picked (this time) as his battleground. It's time to put your foot down and let him know it's over and you're not putting up with it anymore. You might start before you ever walk out the door to get in the car. Let him know you're leaving now and if he starts throwing a fit while getting into the carseat, you will....whatever punishment you choose. And then stick with it consistently, every single time. When he realizes you are done with it and won't put up with it anymore, he will stop. He's just looking for your boundary line and you need to show it to him. I'm a believer in spanking, but whatever you choose, be sure it's done consistently, or he will continue to try it every time. And then when he does get into the car seat without a fuss, praise him for it. He will continue to pick different issues like this for a long time to come. The best thing to do is nip it the first time you notice it. Be the mom and let him know it's not going to happen as long as you're his mom! God bless.

I wouldn't buy a new carseat because he makes it difficult.

Don't start the car. Just sit in your seat and wait until he is in his seat waiting.

Every time he starts to scream and cry, pull over.

I did that with my daughter in the car and it stopped. We were going to the park to play and had a limited amount of time (45 minutes). It took us 20 minutes to get to the park because of all the fussing. (I went prepared. I had a kitchen timer set and I put it on the dash, so she knew how much time we had. She understood when it rang, we had to go.) When the park play time was short, she didn't like it. I explained that time was up and we had to go.

After a few months, she started doing fussing in the car again while we were running errands, so my next trip out, I made a point of leaving her at home. I tossed in an extra fun place on my list of places to go (the bank...has lollies, Safeway..has cookies, etc.). She asked to go and I said, "No, I'm sorry. I don't feel like I can take you in the car to run errands today. You were a screamy-meamy yesterday. I have a lot to do and do not have time to pull over the car while you fuss." I left and didn't look back. She's never done that again. She knows I'll not put up with it.

Good luck,
Stephanie

Hi, I would take him to the store and let him pick out a small toy with the understanding that the toy stays the car seat till he needs to sit in it. Going to the toy store makes it all the more fun and if he still wont sit in it you may have to remove the toy and give it back when he gets in on his own. Make it a toy hes realy going to like. As Im sure you know 2 year olds are pretty smart. So we just have to out smart them.
Good luck