Should I Salvage It?

It looks like you don't have any choice. If the other mom doesn't change her mind, the door is closed. It may have been a misunderstanding, but she apparently feels she must do this to protect her child.

I say let it go. The other mom obviously doesn't want to listen, so there isn't a whole lot you can do. I remember having a friend like this when I was about 8 years old. My friend's mom all of a sudden didn't want her being my friend. I never understood why, but my mom told me that it wasn't my fault. My mom tried talking to her at church on several occasions. My friend's mom was just plain nasty and she didn't want to hear anything my mom had to say. So it just ended from there. This girl ended up being overprotected by her mom all through school and I always felt so sorry for her. She seemed so lonely and never really had any friends. It's unfortunate, but there isn't a whole lot you can do. Just make sure your daughter knows it isn't her fault. Now that they are in different classes, it's likely the friendship would have grown apart anyway.

A., have you ever heard the saying, stop whipping a dead horse??? Obviously you have tried to salvage this relationship and the mother is simply not giving an inch. Give your daughter, and you a break and move on. If they kids are going to be friends, it will happen at school and as much as the mother is willing to give. Just let you daughter know that it's not something that is in your control and it's a great lesson for her to learn that when something is NOT in your control that you have to move on. I wish you the very best and am sorry your daughter has to learn about such menial things at such an early age. Take care and help her find other friends and new interests!

I don't think you said how old your daughter is, but as I understand it, her 'best friend' is a neighbor boy. Right? And you didn't say how this has affected your daughter. (??)

Anyway, I'd try writing to the friend's mom and asking whether there was more to the 'ban' on visiting than the one instance that brought it to a head. If not, ask if you might at least have the opportunity to talk about it and get the kids together with both mothers and have the kids tell their side of the story w/out rehearsal sometime. If his mom won't be reasonable, there's no use trying to keep the kids as friends. They can do that at school if it's important to them.

Some people (especially adults! LOL) are simply unreasonable, and there's really nothing you can do about it except to NOT be like them. It's a good lesson for your daughter, as someone else already said. I used to be so sensitive if anyone tried to blame me for something, then I sold Rainbow vacuums for 8 years, and I found out that some people are just LOOKING for someone to take out their frustrations on. They'll lie, exaggerate, defend themselves, and make you sound like a horrible person when you didn't do ANYTHING. Just move on if it can't be rectified by your best effort!

God bless!

I think you should probably try to explain regardless. Write her a letter or email. Let her know you respect her child and (key word: misunderstanding) between them. You respect her wishes to separate them but you just want to clear up you nor your daughter kept him from leaving. Even if she still refuses to let them be friends, she probably won't spread rumors about what she thinks happened. If there in the same school her new friends parents will hear the rumor eventually. Hope you can salvage it. Maybe offer an apology so she doesn't feel to proud to admit she acted rashly. Hope it all ends well.

It sounds like you have tried to reconcile and the other mother does not want to. Comfort your daughter and encourage her to make other friends. If you happen to run into the other child or their family, be nice, but don't bring up the past - if they bring it up - simply tell them that you are sorry for the misunderstanding. If others ask I would not tell them a lot of details. You might just say something like "We had a conflict and I hope we can work through it sometime". For the time being I would move forward and do the best you can to help your daughter grow from this experience.

This is so hard to see your daughter hurting but truly, you need to let this end. Think back to when you were her age, are you still friends with that same person? Friendships come and go with young children and especially since they are not in the same class, she will meet new friends. Sit her down and explain to her that this is a lesson learned and that you want her to know how much you love her and would do anything for her that is morally and ethically right. Explain to her that you tried to make this right but that sometimes there are ppl in this world that cannot be spoken to rationally. If it makes you feel better to try 'one more time', then I would write the women a short, general note telling her that the circumstances are not correct and although you understand that the girl's friendship may be over, you hope she will reconsider that the facts just might not be true. If it doesn't work, this is life and unfortunately will not be the first time your daughter will have her feelings hurt.

Good luck, W.

You paint a sketchy picture. I would need more info. I would sit down and write to her, telling her the entire story. Sounds like this is a boy, no age, so can't figure out the story. What does your daughter say> Is she very upset? If she isn't, leave it alone. The kids will get back together if they want.

From an old posting of yours, it sounds like your daughter's about 9 years old.
I'm not clear on the triggering events, but I know it hurts to lose people. If you're not getting any help, support, or encouragement from the other side, give it up.
I suggest taking advantage of this opportunity to have her make new friends and don't look back.
Good luck!