Sharing Bites from Grandmom's Spoon, Food, Straw, Etc.

My daughter ate and drank after me, her dad, my parents, my sister, her cousins, her friends, and kissed people on the mouth - I was the only one of any of those that she lived with. It never did her any harm.

My kids share all the time and they are healthy...if you're doing it at home, it's the same difference. I'd let it go.

It sounds like you're freaking out over nothing.. seriously? My mom kisses and shares food with my daughter all the time.. aside from REAL germs (like if she has bronchitis) it's NOT going to hurt your kid. If I was your mom and you said something to me along the lines of "you can't share food with my kids because of your germs" I'd be pissed, I can understand a stranger, but your mom?

Pick your battles, Love. This really isn't one of them.

I shared everything with my Grandma, kissed her on the mouth, etc., and was healthy as a little horse for my entire childhood. You should put your foot down when you are concerned that she IS sick, but for all other times...just let it go.

I would let her be grandma and share her bites of food.. And kissing on the lips is so sweet. I would try to just let this go.

More likely it is your children that will make people sick then the other way around.

Grandparents are just such a special relationship for children. Be very careful about what it is you really want and what you can put up with.

I agree we have a ton of relatives with lots of kissing and sharing everything.. We all survived and are fine.

It is totally disgusting. My fil once gave my 3 yr old his corn on the cob, that he had already eaten half of. That is royally disgusting. I gave my fil the major stink-eye... he got the message.

Since your grandma is always sick, remind her that her illnesses often turn out to be contagious ones and ask her if sharing a lick of her ice crem cone is really worth it to her to infect your child.

Also, children's bacteria in their mouth doesn't work as functionally as adult's do, which is one reason why sharing food is a big no-no.

Next time you catch her, tell her, "Grandma, that's gross... please stop,." Then right in front of her, discipline your kid or tell them to not ever eat from grandma's spoon/food again because of sharing germs. She could get sick form them as well.

If your child is older than 3, he/she is old enough to know not to do it.

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I nevermind any of that. My mother never quite does things the way I'd do them, but I figure she raised two loving, healthy children into adults...I'm sure she's not really HARMING my child.
If it truly bothers you...if this is something you want to battle your mom over (and if your mom is anything like my mom, then her feelings will get hurt and it will be a battle - that like I said, if she's like my mom, she'll still do what she wants), then I'd try to address my feelings in as nice of a way as possible, pointing out your illness concerns.
Like I said before, I wouldn't be surprised when grandma did what she wanted to do anyways...

I have really never thought about it. I figure she made me... I am bound to have some of her germs in me somewhere, ya know. She keeps them for me (well she likes to watch them usually but sometimes it is to help out) so I am not going to pick on something like that. She shares other thing with them too, like getting them presents and hugs and laundry and baths(when needed at her house), so i think it is part being a loving Grandparent. Just my thought.
If it did bother me I would have to be VERY CAREFUL in approaching it, my mother's feelings are hurt easily so diplomacy would be high on my list and the 'work arounds' others have listed would be my first chioce.

Thats a hard one. The only thing I have found that worked was saying" Ex. Mom, I hope that you will hear this with love and kindness but we are teaching our children how to behave in a way that is well-mannered etc. We don't feel that you sharing your food constantly helps them learn manners. Would you please help us by not sharing your food anymore? Also, if you are sick, please tell us before we visit. Thanks so much for understanding!"

That is the only way it has worked for me on different scenarios. GL

M

Honestly, I don't see a problem with it. She's grandma, your mother, not a stranger. My husband doesn't like to share his drinks with anyone, but I have no problem with it. My middle son, takes after his daddy, and hates it when someone takes a sip out of his drink, and will not drink anymore if someone does it. My youngest is 5, we share all the time, and he has no problems eating of Papa (grandpa's plate).

But if it really bothers you, then you should talk with your mom about it. I have no idea how old your kiddos are, but when they get to be teenagers and if they want some of grandma's cake from her plate, I'd let them.

Meh--probably not worth making it an issue.

I watched two of my daughter's cousins (one 13 and one 3ish) share their lollypops with my daughter and each other (including a third cousin and their mother). I wasn't thrilled about it, but didn't feel like it was important enough to say something, personally (they all appeared relatively healthy.)

I think I would have to lock my daughter in the house and ALL of her grandparents, aunts/uncles, and family friends out of the house if I didn't want them feeding her off of their utensils/food. It's not my favorite sight, but it doesn't especially worry me.

All that to say that I don't feel like I'd have a choice! In your situation, though, if your mother is truly sick and still sharing, I might want to speak up.

At the least, I think I would ask her not to share any time she has any type of cold/illness symptoms and at least a week after - same rules as playdates with her friends who show symptoms of illness. I'd probably then try to ignore the rest. That would be easy enough to police, I think.

I think if it bothers you talk to her and politely let her know. My MIL shares food and gives my daughter kisses all the time, she does not do if she is not feeling well. I figure that kids pick up much worse germs when they are out or with other kids.

My MIL used to do try and do that with my son, I was especially opposed to a kiss on the lips (that to me is way off base) in that I feel it's inappropriate to kiss a kid on the lips when a cheek will do just fine. In fact, it grosses me out. That said, I told my husband , tell your mom I don't want her kissing our son on the lips.. one, I don't like the germ factor and two, to me, and he's my son, it's inappropriate... so stop it.. I didn't mix words because I wasn't afraid of hurting her feelings... I was more concerned about my son and setting boundaries..... and now , my son is trained that even IF she tries to kiss him on the lips , he turns and says, no, on my cheek... some may not agree, but seriously... I don't need an adult kissing my child on the lips.....

in your case, you could pose it to their grandma like this... grandma, you know kids being around other kids, catch germs more easily and colds and therefore, you think it's a good idea that she not share food/kissing on the lips with them in that you don't want HER to become ill.. if she scoffs it off, then tell her .. oh and vice versa.. esp since cold season is upon us...

it might be BS but hey.... if you want it to stop, you could give this a try..

best of luck

I think it's gross. Dentists highly recommend against it. Unfortunately, most of society doesn't realize it's gross/dangerous, so you might seem "odd" for insisting this behavior stops. But I back you 100%! :-)

Rather than trying to get her to stop, maybe you could work around it. For instance, get an extra dish or plate and let her spoon the first bite onto it so they can share her treat but not her germs.

I usually don't tell the adult but instead tell MY KIDS something like, Hey, we don't share spoons or forks with other people. What if you are sick? You could make grandma sick. I don't want to see that again!! Then I grab a plate and put a little on it for the child with a clean fork or spoon. That way, grandma might get the hint and the kids know that they aren't supposed to do that anymore.

If the kids are little bitty and can't comprehend that, then I would say something like, Mom, Johnny might be sick. He was really fussy last night. I really don't want you to get sick. Let's put some of your cake on this other plate for him to eat and you can feed him with his own spoon/fork.

If all else fails, I will just tell it like it is. Our twins had the stomach flu at the exact same time when they were about 6 months old (from their cousin) and it was a complete nightmare. Ever since, I have been a borderline germaphobe when it comes to my kids. I don't hold back anymore when it comes to this kind of stuff when others don't get my hints. Tactfully, of course. :)

i agress the germs arent worth maknig an issue over. They're getting her germs whethere shes kissing them or hugging them anyway. I never liked kissing on the lips b/c of cold sores are contageous, so i told people that was my reason, since a lot of relatives had them

Clearly it bothers you, so you can gently say, "Oh, grandma, Billy seems to be working up a cold, and I know you get respiratory things sometimes, so when we hit the ice cream shop we'd better all just taste our own cones, OK?" Repeat as circumstances dictate. Don't harp on it but you don't have to cave either. I would leave the kissing alone mostly -- the kids soon will not like that as much, very likely, and will turn their cheeks for kisses soon enough.

I'd be as concerned about her picking up something from the kids as the kids picking up something from her. I never think it's a good idea for anyone to eat or drink after anyone else -- our family wouldn't do it and I probably wouldn't even take a bite off my husband's fork -- nor would he offer. It's not good manners, to be honest, and as someone else noted.

It's also not a habit to encourage because once kids hit middle school they're vigorously warned not to share drinks and food because of the risk of meningitis, which can spread through shared saliva. And even in elementary school, they'll be told not to share food at lunch or snack, mostly because of the risk of food allergy reactions if one kid eats another's food brought from home. It's just not a good idea to share food/utensils/drinks, period.

Tell her they have had a bug and you don't want them sharing!

Otherwise, you will not be able to 100% avoid hurting her feelings. You could say "Mom, about your allergies, when is the last time you went to the doctor? If she says she hasn't gone, tell her no sharing until you see the doc".

Blessings....