42 answers

Kissing Kids and Others on the Mouth

My MIL is a lovely person, but she always tries to kiss my kids on the mouth. she also always tries to kiss me on the mouth, but I always politely turn my head, I have been brought up that you only kiss your husband on the mouth, and I tell my son not to let anyone kiss him on the mouth.

Things came to a head this week when my MIL had a cold sore and she shared her drink with my 2 yo daughter and tried to kiss my son on the mouth. My husband who has converted to my way of thinking (after a lifetime of being kissed on the mouth ) said " Mom if you have a fever blister don't share your drink or kiss the kids please", well she got upset and said " you don't want me to kiss my grandkids?", he said no, just not on the mouth, and not anywhere if you have a fever blister, and don't share your drinks when you have one please - well MIL and FIL took offense and said they would have to check this with thier Dr as they have always kissed each other on the mouth when MIL has a fever blister, and FIL has never had one!!!!!!! arghhhh

anyway I think kissing your kids and other people on the mouth is BLEUGH!!!, but what do other people do, I think its a great way to spread germs, and we can show affection nicely by kissing cheeks !

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I kiss my 7 and 9yr old girls on the mouth, but not my 12yr old boy anymore (he's way too cool for that). Just a quick peck in the morning right before they get on the bus. But never when I have a cold sore (which I get when I'm totally stressed out and my immune system is down, maybe once every couple of years). When I have a cold sore, I almost put myself in quarantine. Nobody kisses me, share my drinks, etc. I've been told my whole life that they're contagious. Other than that, I have no problem with kissing on the mouth, cheeks, forehead, tip of nose, chin, top of head, etc. Those little cutie-pies are so kissable and they grow out of it so quickly, I'll take every opportunity to kiss my kids! I would NEVER kiss my MIL on the mouth, however, or even my own parents, or any other adult other than my husband. That WOULD be BLEUGH!

3 moms found this helpful

It is so funny to me to see another side to this. I am totally opposite, I kiss my kids on the lips. My inlaws absolutely do not nor does my husband and I think they are so strange for avoiding it. I am glad to get to read other peoples point of view, it has really helped me to understand.

2 moms found this helpful

I tend to kiss my step sons on the cheek, forehead or top of their head - but not on the mouth - my daughter however, is a very affectionate child and prefers to kiss those close to her on their lips.... however, this is only immediate family and NOT EVER when someone involved has a fever blister.....
Keep in mind my daughter isnt even 6 yet and up until recently it has always been JUST me and her and my parents in her life... but when it comes to her friends, cousins, teachers, and even her bio-daddys family - we tend to keep it a kiss on the cheek or a hug - and even that is only if she is comfortable with it.
I am with you - fever blisters YIKES
Passing Germs - YUK
sharing drinks - ahhhh - Im torn here - I think it depends who and when and why.... but again - not with just anyone!

More Answers

I guess I'm in the minority. My mom's side of the family are all mouth kissers. Aunts, uncles, cousins..I never thought anything of it. It's just a quick peck, not like we're making out or anything.
My dad's side of the family aren't kissers at all, just huggers. Nothing wrong with that either.
I kiss my kids on the mouth.

But GROSS on mouth kissing with a cold sore. I get them and when I do, I don't kiss anybody anywhere. I won't even kiss my kids on the cheek. I even have a special thing of Carmex I use ONLY when I have a cold sore.
Part of me says that you may just have to deal with it (when she doesn't have a cold sore), but the other part of me says that if it bothers you she shouldn't do it. I highly doubt that she's going to change, to be honest. I would just keep instructing your children to offer her their cheeks for kissing instead of their lips. And if she has a cold sore and refuses to stop kissing or sharing drinks, don't go over there until it's gone.

4 moms found this helpful

I kiss my 7 and 9yr old girls on the mouth, but not my 12yr old boy anymore (he's way too cool for that). Just a quick peck in the morning right before they get on the bus. But never when I have a cold sore (which I get when I'm totally stressed out and my immune system is down, maybe once every couple of years). When I have a cold sore, I almost put myself in quarantine. Nobody kisses me, share my drinks, etc. I've been told my whole life that they're contagious. Other than that, I have no problem with kissing on the mouth, cheeks, forehead, tip of nose, chin, top of head, etc. Those little cutie-pies are so kissable and they grow out of it so quickly, I'll take every opportunity to kiss my kids! I would NEVER kiss my MIL on the mouth, however, or even my own parents, or any other adult other than my husband. That WOULD be BLEUGH!

3 moms found this helpful

The fact that your FIL has never had a cold sore simply means that he: A. has natural immunity through exposure to the herpes simplex 1 virus and will never get cold sores and is not a carrier of the virus, B. he is a carrier of the virus and may still have an outbreak at some time or C. he is a carrier of the virus and will never show physical symptoms. I am a FREAK about cold sores and my in laws are mouth kissers as well. When I brought up my concerns about whether or not they get cold sores when my oldest was born they thought I was crazy for even being concerned about such a thing. I still never got a straight answer out of them whether anyone in the family gets them or not. Thankfully I am much more comfortable with them now and if they had a cold sore and kissed my kids they KNOW I would flip out. The herpes virus is highly transmittable and can be passed through saliva even when there are no lesions present although transmission with an active blister is much easier. Not to freak you out but just so you know, if your mil is drink sharing. That being said, there is a good chance your husband has been exposed to the herpes virus already if his mil has always gotten cold sores, and you and your kids may already have passive immunity... some people are directly exposed and never get sores... others are exposed once and get sores constantly. Something like 80 percent of the population has been exposed to the herpes virus. You could request a titer from your dr. to see your carrier status, if you are a freak like me but most people don't take it that far. LOL.

2 moms found this helpful

First, lighten up...there's nothing wrong with kissing a friend or relative on the lips. But if you're really that grossed out, keep turning your head and let your kids make their own decision.
However, in the event that one of the kissers has a cold sore, I agree. In fact, when a baby is involved, you can give the save deadly germs by mouth that a mother with an active herpes legion can give during vaginal birth. And that is BAD BAD BAD. People don't realize you can also have herpes infections on your hands and can pass it along by touch. Any time you have an open sore on your body, be it vagina, lip, or finger, you should keep it covered or not touch people. MIL should follow this rule. Get a not from your pediatrician if you have to. Keeping the peace is not worth your kid's life-long health and if she gives them a cold sore now, they will have them forever.

2 moms found this helpful

I personally think kissing little kids on the mouth is fine, but your MIL needs to respect your wishes. You have a right to have your own kissing rules in your own house. And I definitely think she should be more sensitive when she has a cold sore.

Your MIL is another example of a self-centered, defensive person. Man I'm sick of them.

2 moms found this helpful

It is so funny to me to see another side to this. I am totally opposite, I kiss my kids on the lips. My inlaws absolutely do not nor does my husband and I think they are so strange for avoiding it. I am glad to get to read other peoples point of view, it has really helped me to understand.

2 moms found this helpful

you are well within your rights to dislike this, and to insist that no one kisses your kids on the mouth, especially if they have fever blisters. but please try to stop yourself from your BLEUGH reaction to your poor in-laws, who simply express themselves differently. my family kisses on the mouth, we don't think it's gross. your harsh reaction to your poor loving in-laws has probably caused them considerable pain. i would take the time to apologize to them for making them feel so uncomfortable and explain your position when everyone is calm.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, what an interesting question. I had never thought about this as an issue? Everyone I see, when children are involved, always kiss them on the lips?! My hubs and myself kiss our 10 y/o on the lips, my mom and dad kiss my 10 y/o on the lips. My in-laws do not! I was raised in a very kissy, huggy, affectionate household. My brothers and I still kiss each other on the lips and they are 30 and 34. NEVER EVER with a cold sore though!

1 mom found this helpful

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