41 answers

Kissing on the Lips?

Is it really weird to kiss your own child on the lips? I kiss my son on the lips, he is 7 1/2, so does my husband. Now that I think of it my whole family does. My grandmother was 96 when she passed and I still pecked her on the mouth hello and goodbye. Are we strange or is this a regional thing? Never really thought about it before until I read a post and some moms think it is gross. I'm not talking tongue lingering kisses. Just pecks.

What can I do next?

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I kiss on the mouth, only my family. Not my mom because she has always been on the cold side, no hugs nothing. But my dad was a hugger and a kisser. I kiss all my kids on the mouth. I see noting gross or wrong about it.

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I don't think it's a regional thing. My parents did it to us, my sister did it to her kids, and I do with my nieces and will with my son. (and most of my siblings are halfsies, so a bunch of different influences there~!)

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I'm a hybrid, lol. I have always done on the lips with my kids, until they started getting older, then it felt odd to me. So, most of the time I do cheek kisses or nose or forehead kisses for my 11 yr old son. My younger daughter still gets mostly lips, but I can already feel myself gradually leaning toward forehead and nose rubs with her too. lol

I kissed my folks on the lips... until I started getting bigger. I don't recall any particular thing or time when it became cheek pecks, but eventually it did. That's probably why I do what I do.

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I think it depends on who you ask. I don't think a peck on the lips is creepy with people/family you know well....what creeps me out are the people who turn to get you on the lips when you are clearly going for their cheek!

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I'm a hybrid, lol. I have always done on the lips with my kids, until they started getting older, then it felt odd to me. So, most of the time I do cheek kisses or nose or forehead kisses for my 11 yr old son. My younger daughter still gets mostly lips, but I can already feel myself gradually leaning toward forehead and nose rubs with her too. lol

I kissed my folks on the lips... until I started getting bigger. I don't recall any particular thing or time when it became cheek pecks, but eventually it did. That's probably why I do what I do.

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(... this question reminded me of a recent SNL skit...
For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, and do not get offended by things, I suggest you find it on hulu or youtube.)

I have a weird situation with kissing... I NEVER kissed my family growing up- I thought it was too "intimate"- I would allow them to kiss me on the cheek, but I wouldn't kiss them, and I still don't. I gave them big super-hugs instead. I'm a BIG hugger!

I do kiss my own family all the time, though (husband, and 4 daughters). I kiss them on the lips as babies/toddlers, but kiss them on the cheek around age 4 and up... Again, I think it is too intimate (I'm very particular-, and weird about this) of a thing to do. My husband and other family members don't have a problem with lips or cheek kissing- I cringe sometimes when I see lip-kissing...HA!

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I don't think it's a regional thing. My parents did it to us, my sister did it to her kids, and I do with my nieces and will with my son. (and most of my siblings are halfsies, so a bunch of different influences there~!)

1 mom found this helpful

My family were cheek kissers...I married into mouth kissers....my kids do both and they have gone through phases where one was acceptable and one was not and then vice versa. This is very much a cultural thing and neither is right or wrong. The first time my father in law kissed me I was only engaged to my husband and it took me by surprise....I have since trained him to land on my cheek! It's not gross, it's all what you are used to.

God bless,

M.

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I don't think it's as much a regional thing as it is a religion thing. I personally kiss my daughter and all of my daycare kids on the lips everyday. I kiss my best friends (GIRLS!!!!) on the lips all the time and kiss acquaintences hello and goodbye on the cheeks. I think some people are just so uptight that they are uncomfortable showing innocent affection towards even their own children. Keep kissing!

PS. In 17 years of childcare, not ONE parent/family has objected to me kissing/letting the kids kiss me on the lips. MANY of them have said that they are so glad to see me treat their children like family and love that their children want to kiss me goodbye every day. Just FYI.

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I kiss my boys on the lips, but they are only 4 and 2. I'm sure that will stop when they get closer to 8 or so. Me personally, I remember kissing my parents on the lips when I was young, but once I got a little older, it creeped me out... still does, and every now and then my mom will try and plant one on me. Can't even stand it if she gets my cheek. But each family dynamic is diffreent and so long as some are comfortable (like my mom and sis) then it's fine.

And sorry to offend this other poster, but if a daycare person or teacher or friend's parents or anyone who wasn't very close family or whatever kissed my kids on the lips, I would definately have some words with them. To me, it's not an innocent affection thing, but teaching young children boundries of who is okay to touch you and of course, the germ issue, (but especially a childcare provider who was kissing multiple children, that's just wrong).

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That's funny...I think about this too. I actually tried to teach my daughter to be a cheek kisser, I prefer it, especially when they get older, but she just didn't do it. She apparently taught herself to be a mouth kisser! ;) I think it's fine and more normal than I once thought for sure, but I do think eventually I'm going to move towards the cheek.

1 mom found this helpful

I kiss on the mouth, only my family. Not my mom because she has always been on the cold side, no hugs nothing. But my dad was a hugger and a kisser. I kiss all my kids on the mouth. I see noting gross or wrong about it.

1 mom found this helpful

i don't think its weird for the parents to, but certainly i think its icky if people not related do (sorry Missy, that would totally creep me out if my daycare person was kissing my kids on the lips!)

There's coldsores and sickness and Hepititis and other things. ewe.

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Great Q. I never really thought about any of this till I got married. I've always kissed my family on the lips - including my mother , father and grandmother. My husbands family kisses on the cheek but rarely. Weirdly enough my hubby's 90-year-old grandmother would kiss me on the lips )which seemed normal enough for me). Now with my son I notice us following the same pattern. I kiss him on the lips as does my family and my hubby and his other grandparents kiss on the cheek. I guess we will do what comes naturally.

As long as we don't end up like the family In the Saturday Night Live skit we will probably be okay. :)

In the end you do whatever you want. No ones opinion matters. But, you should tell your kids about no kissing loveable strangers on the mouth due to mono. you get me? Good luck.

We kissed our child on the lips until he was a pre-teen and then he seemed more comfortable with hugs and with kisses just to the side of the mouth on the cheek. When he avoided them, we just adjusted. He's not grossed out, just seemed to gradually migrate to the new practice. We have close friends we peck on the lips. I don't think it's particularly regional, more of a custom in some families. I think it's fine if everyone is comfortable and no, you are not strange!!

I don't think it is gross... I've kissed my children on the lips when they were little. Mom sons now kiss me on the cheek!
My daughter still pecks me on the lips at age 15. My whole family are lip peckers... aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, siblings... it is normal so don't worry!

I was also raised in a family that didn't kiss on the lips or at all once we were older (12+). I always thought it was strange that my husband growing up and still to this day will kiss his mom (now on the cheek) when he sees her. It always really weirded me out. However, I have a 6 month old and a two year old and I kiss them any chance I get. My 2 year old son will be on the other side of the room and pucker up and run full force at me to kiss me on the lips and I think it's hilarous!! My son went thru a phase for a little bit where he wouldn't kiss anyone and I hated it! I say as long as your kids are still comfotable with it then take advantage of all the snuggling, kissing and hugging you can get. One day they will be too cool for it!! haha!

I kiss my daughter & so does her daddy but my parents never did with me. I'm not sure why though. I think it's cute since she started doing it since she was a baby. However, I don't let anyone else because you don't know where their mouth has been lol..

When my daughter was little, she always kissed me and hubby on the lips, now that she's older, it's on the cheek. My friends granddaughter is 2, she kisses us on the lips.

I think it's fine, psychologically speaking, until it makes someone uncomfortable, at which point those kisses can migrate to cheek or forehead.

As far as microbes are concerned, I think they would prefer that we would continue mouth kissing forever to enhance their travels.

I don't think that it is gross that is how I was raised. However I do not kiss on the lips anymore. Now we kiss on the cheek. I do that because I was sick so much one year, I got everything the kids got.

it's cultural. My grandma kissed us on the lips. I kiss my babies on the lips. My son when through a phase where he would run to me, pucker leading the way from across the room. That's maybe my favorite memory of him so far. :)

I won't do it in front of their friends when I drop them off in front of their junior high, I promise... unless they do something to really upset me. Then it becomes revenge. Muahahaha!

My kids are 5, 4 and 4 months. My husband and I kiss them on the lips. I don't think that the rest of the family does though. Just us. I know once I was getting closer to being a teen I stopped kissing my mom or dad and just started giving them a peck on the cheek once in awhile. While they are young its fine! My kids love getting hugs and kisses!

Pedophiles and child molesters have made a lot of people paranoid and start questioning things that were once normal. If it works for you and your son is not uncomfortable, don't worry about what others think. My son is 32 months and I kiss him on the lips all the time...it's usually when he wants to be mischevious and squirt out the juice he has been hiding in his mouth...but that's my child...held him inside of me for almost 10 months...no one is going to make me feel guilty about how I show affection. Best of luck.

Bottom line- I don't think it is odd. I think kissing on the lips is natural. It may not be the most hygienic thing BUT at least in my family we also don't have problems sharing drinks, forks etc. Whatever. If that is how you greet your family members then great!

My whole family kisses on the lips... H's family does both lips and the double cheek thing (Italian)

My whole family does this too. You know what I find weird is that people actually think its gross to give a sweet simple peck on the lips to your own kid or family. I would give anything to give my dad or mom one last kiss and hug before they passed away. Keep on kissing your little one!

We do that in my house as well and do not thinks it's gross at all.

I don't think its gross when the child is young at all. My son and I kiss on the lips all the time. I think its so sweet! I would not be ok with anyone other then immediate family kissing him that way though. I remember kissing my parents on the lips too but only when I was very young. I remember feeling wierd about it at some point, way before age 10 and don't do it with anyone except my husband and my toddler. If you guys are ok with it, no problem.

have always kissed my children on the lips, kiss family : mom, dad, sister too, wouldn't kiss brother in law on the mouth, but wouldn't hesitate to kiss him on the cheek...kiss friends on the cheek...I dunno, it never crossed my mind that there was anything at all wrong or off about it...

In our house - we kiss on the lips. Same with my parents, my brother and his family. On my husbands side - we peck on the cheek. My MIL won't even kiss her own grandchild on the mouth - she either pecks on the cheek or the top of the head (I think it's weird).

Perfectly normal! Who would think this is gross?

I am definitely a lip peckers, though my husband isn't so much (with our boys). I still peck my parents periodically. I think it is okay.

At school, there is a no kidding on the lips rule, which I am fine with since kids don't know not to kiss when they are sick, but the 3 yr olds are very affectionate so we encourage hugging.

I think some people spend too much time thinking about what is and isn't gross or inappropriate. I kiss my kids, relatives and friends however I feel like at the time. I saw the same post you're referring to and my husband and I talk a bit about it. Honestly, we had to really think about how we kissed our loved ones and decided we really didn't care! I kiss close friends and realitves (male & female) as well as my girls on the lips and no one thinks twice. The important thing is that you're showing affection to the ones your love!

Not weird or gross!

My daughter, although only 4 yo, has grown up watching me and her daddy (my husband) give each other hello and goodbye pecks on the lips. I understand that she sees this as her primary example of how to show affection and love. It would be strange for me to give my husband my cheek instead of my lips (when she is present) and it would make me equally uncomfortable not to let her kiss me on the lips if that was the intention of her pucker. And it would probably upset me (I'd see it as being perceived as rejection) if her father refused to let her give him a peck on the lips.

I too found that comment in that post to be confusing. Now, if someone was ill or had herpes of the mouth, then yes I get why that would be gross. But parent to child I don't think is gross.

My daugher is almost 8 and we kiss on the lips. I don't think it's gross. I do kiss my mom & sisters on the cheek though. But even so, I don't think it's "gross" that you do it with older family members. To each his own.

Originally my parents kissed us on the lips growing up but I know I switched to the cheek mainly because my dad smoked a pipe. He would always be smoking when it was time for us to go to bed and must have taken one last puff right before he'd take the pipe out for our goodnight kiss, and then exhale it right in your face. I would be going in for the dutifull good night kiss holding my breath, switching to the cheek (really just alongside the mouth) didn't help much, but was as far away as i could get :)

My daughter (just turned 7) is a big mouth kisser (and will do a flying tackle when she goes to hug us). I've had to readjust and make sure I give her a kiss on the lips. I also had 2 friends, one in HS and one in college, that definitely greeted you with a kiss on the mouth, I think all families are just different, do what works for you.

I certainly think everyone should so what they're comfortable with. My family was not mouth kissers, so that's what I was use to. My husband and I only kiss out children on their cheeks or forehead. I have been very surprised by some adults who kiss my children (even as newborns) right on the mouth. One of my best friends kisses my kids on the mouth. I don't think it's gross. It just isn't for me. It's much more personal that I want to be with people.

Whatever is comfortable for you and your family is fine, as long as the kids' boundaries are respected.

honestly NO! Why would that be strange, its your son & you love him. Me & my husband kiss my 3 yr old on the lips. I know growing up my parents didn't give out kisses, we weren't like that. I am affectionate with my daughter because I love her. Be happy that your son still lets you. If others think that is gross that is there own problem & they without a doubt have their own issues they need to deal with. Kiss your son as often as possible because it won't go on forever.

Both me and my daughter's father kiss her on the lips. I'm 35 and still kiss my mom and dad on the lips; my sister on the cheek. I don't think it's weird or gross at all.

We did it in our family and now we do it with our daughter. Not weird, not gross. Do what you feel is comfortable. It's a display of affection; there's nothing wrong with that.

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