Seeking Help on Trying to Get Pregnant.

Updated on February 28, 2008
K.F. asks from Boston, MA
29 answers

I have visited #6 different doctor's about trying to have a baby for my husband of #8yrs and for every doctor that has examined me everyone had said the same thing, that nothing is wrong with me or my husband. I took that kind of shocking because, I'm not on the pill or taking any kind of contraceptives. I just want to know what is the problem & why haven't i gotten pregnant as yet? if every doctor i go to tells me the same thing over & over. Please can someone help me or tell me what can i do? Every day i pray to god that he will touch my "WOMBS" & give me a baby to make me & my husband a proud parents to have been blessed with a blessing from God.

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G.M.

answers from Boston on

Have you tried going to the infertility clinic in Waltham? It is called Boston IVF. It worked for me! Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Boston on

Kyshna. I understand how frustrating it must be. It took my husband and I 8 years and 2 miscarriages to have a baby.I just gave birth to a baby girl in October. People can tell you "relax and it will happen" they have no idea. I went to Dr. Summers at the fertility center in Lexington. He was great witht he options and what we should do. This facility is awesome and that is why I am a mother today. I never thought it could happen. Stay postive it can and will happen

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K.Y.

answers from Bangor on

I have two of my friends that had the same problem and I told them that they need to have sex everyday for a month and that there would be no way they would "miss" their ovulation cycle. I know this sounds weird but they are now both proud parents. IT Worked! It might work for you especially if your doctors say your both fine.? Good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi,

I am sorry to hear you are having a problem conceiving. Have you tried tracking your ovulation chart? There are a few sites you can use.

http://pregnancy.about.com/od/gettingpregnant/

http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/

These sites are very helpful in tracking when you are ovulating.

Good Luck

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R.J.

answers from Burlington on

ACCUPUNCTURE! ACCUPUNCTURE! ACCUPUNCTURE! I tried the temperature taking, the ovulation charts and kits, I went to reproductive endocrinology - did implantations, took clomid, did hormone injections, you name it, I tried it. I tried for five plus years to get pregnant and was devastated and heart broken each month when it didn't happen. Nothing was wrong with me or my husband, after a lot of expense and diagnostic work figuring that out. Stress over not getting pregnant was probably the biggest hurdle we faced. I gave up. Everyone says that's when it would happen and I HATED hearing that, but it's true. I figured it wasn't meant to be and I would try one last thing and then stop for good and find other ways to fill my life and started looking into adoption. The last thing I did: I went to a naturopath/accupuncturist who went over my diet, gave me some herbs and did accupuncture on me and the next month, I was pregnant. My daughter is nine months old now. I swear by it - I've had accupuncture for other things too and it's amazing and powerful. I just read an article online about a week ago as well that said that reproductive specialists were beginning to use accupuncture in conjunction with their fertility treatments because it increased the odds of pregnancy from 45 to 60%. I hate needles, but had nothing to lose. I live in the Burlington, VT area and know a GREAT provider if you want her name. Good luck & hopefully the good Lord will bless you with your own little bundle soon. I'd like to tell you not to give up, but DO! It takes the stress out of the whole process and viola - baby! (For me, anyway.)

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S.K.

answers from Burlington on

Kyshna, there is a book that I think you should read. It's called "Choosing the sex of your baby" not sure if I'm spelling the doctors name right that wrote it but his name is Dr.Londrum Shettles...
You see I had 3 beautiful boys, and really wanted a girl, I read this book and I did get my little girl, she is now 17 and still the baby of the family. The reason why I'm suggesting this is because it really shows couples an inside look into helping get pregnant. It doesn't matter that it is a book about how to have a girl or boy, it describes exactly what both the man and the woman need to do in order to even get pregnant. I really hope you take my advice and read this book, it was my doctor that told me to buy it and read it and he was right! I have lent this book out to so many people, and even a few couples that were having trouble getting pregnant. Well, it worked for them too. You have nothing to loose, and a whole lot of information to gain by reading this. I hope this helps, and God willing, He will send to you a baby.
Good luck and God bless,
S. K

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D.C.

answers from Boston on

Hi Kyshna,
Colleen F. has already told you about Natural Family Planning I just wanted to add my two cents.

NFP is now called NaproTechnology. It is a way to read your body and determine your most fertile time to achieve or avoid pregnancy. Your councilor, usually located at your local Catholic Hospital, instructs you and your husband in the practice and charting process. If need be you will be referred to a NaproTechnology OBGYN.

I live in Nashua and 8 years ago I went to see a wonderful doctor in Gardener MA. I had experienced a series of miscarriages and through daily blood draws (at my local clinic who sent the results to him) he was able to determine that counter to the norm i.e.: after ovulation when the estrogen level should drop and progesterone level should rise to allow a fertilized egg to implant; my progesterone level was dropping causing the subsequent miscarriages. He had us try again and as soon as I had passed ovulation I had a blood test to determine pregnancy. I then drove to see him and received a progesterone shot and a prescription for more progesterone. I had to call around to find a local pharmacy that does compounding to fill it, not a CVS type. The natural progesterone is mixed with olive oil to facilitate the injection. I started with daily blood draws and he would call with the amount I needed to inject. After a while we went to draws every few days and then once a week. I continued to give myself injections until I was 6 months along and finally able to maintain the level needed myself.

My local OBGYN was so against the process and accused me of neglecting my fetus to the point of almost confining me until I made a series of prenatal check-up appointments. All I wanted was for them to give me the shots so I could make it through the first month. I left in tears and swore never to return. My neighbor at the time was an ER nurse and she taught me how to give myself the injections. I found a nice midwife and delivered a healthy baby boy April 23, 2000, he will turn 8 in just a few weeks.

I wish you much luck and fertility in the future.
D. C.

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

Kyshna,

We also had problems getting pregnant. I've always had an irregular cycle, and so timing intercourse during the month was near impossible. We were frustrated and I wasn't yet willing to go the mainstream medical route to take drugs.

I'd read a lot about acupuncture to help regulate cycles and to increase the cases of becoming pregnant. I was terrified of needles, but felt trying acupuncture was our best option. After one month of treatment, I became pregnant. I could hardly believe it. The thought of the needles was FAR worse than the actual treatment.

I'm sure a large part of the success was also because it required me to lay down and relax for 2 hours a week... as others have said, stress is your biggest enemy in getting pregnant! The acupuncturist I saw was in Nashua, NH and I would highly recommend her. Contact me if you'd like her info. I hope you are blessed with a healthy child very soon!

L.

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J.C.

answers from New London on

I know this must be very frustrating. I too was told the same thing. I think it's even harder when you hear people say they got pregnant the first time they tried. It's not fair. I was amazed to hear just how many people there are out there that have a hard time getting pregnant. I think there can be several reasons that dr's can't test you on. I am very healthy too...I just made my own reason.

We tried for several years too before going to the next steps of fertility stuff. It was a difficult decision to go with because we wanted it to be natural. We ended up trying everything and ended up successful with IVF the second time. I don't know if you thought about this.

Good luck to you!

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A.E.

answers from Springfield on

I found the book--Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler very helpful.
Good Luck!

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K.M.

answers from Sacramento on

My husband and I tried for 5 years unsuccessfully until we went to a fertility clinic to be told we had unexplained nfertility and with drugs and Inter-uterine incemination (IUI) we conceived our miracle baby after 5 months. She is a strong love girl and doing very well. I would suggest a visit to a fertility clinic and see what they can do. Good Luck - it is so stressful when you want it so much, but hangin there.

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L.L.

answers from Boston on

Stop seeing local doctors that arent doing anything to help you. I lost years doing the same thing. I don't know how old you are, but if your over thirty if you don't get pregnate in 6 mos. you need to get it checked out. Call a fertility clinic, I used Reproductive Science Center, and after numerous invtro tries, I finally have a beautiful little girl. It wasn't easy to go thru all the tests, and medical procedures, but the outcome was definatly worth it. I wish I hadn't wasted all the time I spent on ob-gyn's that couldn't find anything wrong and repeatedly tried pills, and inseminations that didn't work. I had my daughter at 43, had a rough pregnancy, hospitalization for weeks, and she was born at 30 weeks. I was told not to try to have another baby, because I probably wouldn't live through it. We wanted a large family, and maybe if we had gone to an expert sooner, we would have had a better chance. My cousin had triplets after going to this same clinic. Another resouce would be Resolve, Inc. they have lots of information on the subjesct and offer support. Also they never found anything wrong with either myself or my husband.

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

If you have health insurance in Massachusetts fertility treatments coverage is mandated by the state. Some policies are more generous than others. But you can probably get a referal to a reproductive endocrinologist from your doctor. They are the ones who really know the scoop. A lot depends on your age and how long you have been trying to figure out if it is time to try some treatments. Be warned though, once you get on the assisted fertility train it is very hard to get off. Each new treatment always seems to "make sense." At least I was surprised how far I went. Happily for me it resulted in a beautiful baby - although that is not always the case for everyone.

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L.M.

answers from Boston on

Hello!
Your story sounds familiar! We tried for 6 years w/ and w/out fertility treatments and we weren't successful until we went through IVF. We found out some info. during the first round so they were able to go right ahead with the second round and we now have a wonderful 9 month old baby!! Well worth the efforts of IVF! Good luck!
L.

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K.G.

answers from New London on

I can tell you I was in the same boat as you trying for almost 5 years and 4 of those years on clomid. My doctor said the same thing, that there was no reason why I wasn't getting pregnant. Finally we moved into our first home and I decided to go off the medication and put everything into God's hands and stopped stressing about it. I figured when God felt it was right he would give me my bundle of joy. 3 months later I found out I was pregnant and it was well worth the wait.

Do not get discouraged when the time is right you will be blessed, I believe this whole heartedly.

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C.D.

answers from New London on

I did not have a problem getting pregnant, but I wanted to plan the pregnancy a bit. I went to babycenter.com and used their ovulation calendar. It worked each time like a charm. I have a four-year old little girl and an 8-month-old little boy. I will say that I had a friend who had only one ovary and she used the same website after a losing her first child. She is now the mother of three. I hope this help. Don't stress yourself too much, it makes it h*** o* your body physically.

C.

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

This may sound a bit too easy, but sometimes a person can't get pregnant because of a hormone imbalance, doctors don't always notice this and look for a more complicated reason. My company has a product called Prolief, it is plant based and has progesterone in it to help balance out hormones. This has been known to help relieve migranes, fertility issues, anxiety, depression and many other problems normally found to be in women. It might just be the thing you need or maybe not. Since it is plant based and your body normally makes progesterone it might be worth trying. The cost is minimal $34 retail. Let me know if you are interested in trying it and I can send you more information. my website is www.seethedifference.myarbonne.com or give me a call ###-###-####. I hope I can help. L.
If you are interested go to www.soundconcepts.com and they have several books on hormones as well as a dvd that has several doctors and nurses explaining what may be happening in your body.

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R.O.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi Kyshna
Well I knew a woman who was married for over 10 years before her and her husband conceived. When she finally did become pregnant it was after she was laid off from her job. Stress has a lot to do with your body and immune system. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to think that you are unable to conceive, that something is wrong. Your mind can play tricks on you.
Try to limit your daily activities, and not stress the small stuff. When God is ready to give you a child, he will. But right now enjoy the time you have with your husband and do somethings that you may not be able to do when you do get pregnant.
It will happen when you least expect it. Just be patient and relax.

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

We had one child and was assured that nothing was wrong with me or my husband. And when we couldn't get pregnant with our second we had to try IVF. We had to fight to get treatment because we were young in our early 20's. And let me tell you nothing seemed to work. It turned out that stress, family friends work..Just stress was really inhibiting us from having more kids. It took 5 years to get our second, and then a quick third. If you really want a child and the doctors seem baffled that you can't do it naturally fight to see a specialist. Then keep bugging them that you want a child. It will work. Some doctor will give you help. Even ask for the fertility drugs at you gyn's office. They can give you something. Try ovulation kits. They sell them at CVS. Just keep pushing the doctors, make it a huge deal. Don't take the normal response there isn't anything wrong, keep trying, we don't want to give you med's yet. If meds are what it takes to have a child and you really want one I'd do it. Good luck. Try not to stress.

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C.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi Kyshna,
Have you ever heard of Natural Family Planning? Check out the Pope Paul VI Institute (I don't have their contact info. but I think they probably have a website) They are located in Omaha, Nebraska, and they specialize in fertility issues. If you've never tried Nat. Family Planning, they can give you all the info. you need and help you locate a practitioner in your area. It has to do with learning all the signs of your cycle, especially the fertile times, so you know exactly when ovulation occurs, making it easier to become, or not become pregnant, whichever you are attempting at the time. If by chance, you can't find a website for them, check with your local Catholic churches, even if you are not Catholic, and they should be able to give you something. Good luck. I could give you some more specific info. if you've never heard of this - just let me know.
C.

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J.K.

answers from Boston on

Hi Kyshna,

I do not where you live but when I was having difficulty getting pregnant someone directed to a Dr in Salem NH and he went right to work ro help me, and I got pregnant within 2 months! Dr. Saleem in Salem NH off exit 4 on 93....he was wonderful, the nurses were wonderful!! Good luck!

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K.F.

answers from Boston on

I relate.

My husband and I were married in 1985, and had decided to wait a couple of years and then start a family. I ended up pregnant (yea!) right before our 2nd anniversary...sadly, I miscarried.

My husband and I prayed for another baby. After a few years, we both tested, and were told the same thing: "you're both fine...give it time". At one point I DID pray to God to put us on a "back burner" and work on my older sister, who desperately wanted a child. After she had her daughter, we went back to praying for our own.

We got lots of "helpful" comments, and, as the years passed, we became somewhat philosophical about it. Our answer would be: "WHEN and IF God wants us to have children, we'll have children. If not, we'll deal. Besides - Abraham and Sarah were HOW OLD?" (OK, so we have an odd sense of humor).

We finally had our first daughter two months before our 17th anniversary...and another daughter 2 years later!

I guess what I'm trying to say in my own convoluted way is, be patient. Maybe God wants some things to happen to you before you become a parent. That's our theory, anyway, for us.

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S.E.

answers from Boston on

I too had isssues with getting pregnant. I agree with some of the other moms who advised seeking a reproductive endocrinologist. I found mine at Brigham and Women's in Boston. I am sure everything is fine with you and your husband but there are series of tests and exams that cover all the bases that can determine what is going on.They start with the basics like bloodwork and semen analysis. My advice to you is to start there. In my case, from wanting to get pregnant to surgery to having a baby took 4 years. Wish you all the best!

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E.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi Kyshna,
Have you consulted a fertility clinic? How old are you? I started trying to get pregnant when I was 35 with no luck. I finally had to admit there was a problem and sought help. It turned out there was nothing wrong with me or my husband either. There is something called unexplained infertility, which basically means they don't know what is wrong. The good news is that you can still benefit from the help of a fertility clinic. It took us a while, but we succeeded and now have a healthy little girl. So, my advice is, don't delay--get help as soon as possible. I highly recommend the Reproductive Science Center in Lexington. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

Someone else who posted a response to your question mentioned relaxing - that stress plays an enormous role. Certainly, your mindset plays a role in so many aspects of our lives. My own parents desperately tried to get pregnant, and their only successes came after they got impatient about starting their family, adopted my sister (immediately got pregnant with my brother - they are 10 months apart in age) and after giving up after another 10 years of trying when they got pregnant with me. I infer from the tone of your post that you are feeling pretty helpless about the situation, which is very easy to do when you work at something for so long, want something so badly, and just continue to be frustrated. I hope this doesn't sound presumptuous, but it is possible that your feelings are actually contributing to your success rate! It becomes a vicious cycle that feeds itself. Mind over matter, as they say.

Before seeking more invasive methods, like IVF, you might try a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which explains in great detail how your reproductive system works and how to identify when you are most likely to get pregnant. The author also has a website: www.tcoyf.com. As the title of the book implies, charting your cycles and knowing exactly what is happening with your body & when you're most likely to get pregnant gives you a sense of control. That mental shift (from helplessness to "taking charge") alone might help you! Charting your cycles will also help you when you next meet with your physician because you can show him/her what is going on with your body. If you continue to be unsuccessful, you will then have a tool that the doctor can use to reveal more clues to accurately diagnose (if necessary) what might be going on and prescribe a course of action.

Also make sure that you are exercising regularly, taking your vitamins, etc. etc. As another responder indicated, acupuncture might also make a difference - particularly as it will help you relax and feel more "centered." You might try yoga or some other type of meditative practice that might work for you to start feeling more in control. It sounds like you may also have a religious faith you can rely on as well, which can certainly help. Also keep in mind that there are a lot of options available for starting your family, and that you are always in control to make those choices, depending on what is right for you!

Good luck & stay positive!

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K.R.

answers from Boston on

Try the IVF Clinics. They work with you on things you can do to increase the chances of becoming pregnant since the natural way seems to need a little assistance. I went to RSC (Reproductive Science Center) in Waltham and they are absolutely fabulous and very caring to everyones situation. It worked for me and it was the best thing that I did!!

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S.B.

answers from Bangor on

Hi..I'm sure you've heard this quite a bit but relax. I, too, was trying to get pregnant after being married for 5 years and it wasn't happening. We went to my doctor and was told we would both be put through tests to see if one of us was sterile but before we had to go through that, my mother made an appointment for me with her ob/gyn and I relaxed a little. When I went to the appointment, I was late for my period so they ordered a pregnancy test for me and I found out later that day that I was pregnant! After 14 months of heartbreak every month, I was finally pregnant. I was so tense trying to get pregnant that it just wasn't happening and as soon as the doctor's appointment was made, I guess I relaxed. I became pregnant again three years later without "trying". I hope you get pregnant and have a happy, healthy child. Best of luck to you.

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

Please try accupuncture and make an appointment at boston ivf. They are the best. They will figure it out for you and will tell you the best options. Do not give up. Best wishes.

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B.S.

answers from Boston on

It has been surprising to me that so many woman are struggling with this issue. I have never dealt with it, but I wanted to refer you to my friend's blog who has been struggling with this for several years. She is so open and honest about it, and it seems to help other women who are going through similar trials. The web address is: http://bohemiangirldesigns.blogspot.com/

good luck to you.

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