Need Advice About How to Proceed with Infertility

Updated on August 30, 2009
R.B. asks from Cedar Park, TX
21 answers

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half with no luck. It's frustrating but I know others have tried much longer so we're staying hopeful and grateful. We're determined to enjoy our time alone and continue to pray that God would bless us with a baby in His time. We have both been tested and it appeared that everything was fine with us, but my cycle is so unpredictable that it makes charting my ovulation very difficult. That was the only concern the doctor had. My mother wants me to take some herbs that are supposed to help, and the only thing I heard from my doctor was getting a shot each month when I ovulate...but I don't quite understand how that would work considering it's so random and our insurance doesn't cover that so it would be way too pricey. My cycle used to be 35 days, now the past 2 cycles have been double...which really throws you for a loop when you're hoping to be pregnant! Any advice? Anything you could suggest I ask my doctor about? My mother had to go on some sort of fertility pills to get pregnant, but that was a while ago.... Any help would be so appreciated.

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N.R.

answers from Houston on

Someone else suggested the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is a great book and might be a useful starting place before you spend a lot of money on other things. I don't want to discount anything that your doctor is doing for you, but this book is really good at helping women chart their cycles. Even if you have irregular cycles, this book can help you find you most fertile days.

I used it for both of my children.

Good luck and best wishes to you.

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

http://www.aafcp.org/
(American Academy of Fertility Care Professionals)

http://fertilitycare.org/mclocations/texas.htm

http://www.popepaulvi.com/

The Pope Paul VI Institute, founded in 1985 by Thomas W. Hilgers, MD, is internationally recognized for its outstanding achievements in the field of natural fertility regulation and reproductive medicine.

I would recommend a visit to these sites. I heard about NaProTechnology and this site from a friend who was worried about future side effects like ovarian cancer with the clomid.

Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Austin on

My main advice on this is to find a doctor that is truly interested in your infertility. Your doctor may be, and if so, that is great. But, when you have a doctor that is truly concerned and wants to help you find the best way to go about it. I would suggest Dr. Seeker in Austin. They just moved offices. I know he and his staff are truly caring and compassionate. The hard part is when you keep getting told that everything is ok. Then there is nothing to go by. We ended up doing insemination and it worked the first time (after 4 years). Took a pill to help ovulate. I think I had 3 or 4 eggs. Only one took, thankfully. A few years latere we tried it a few times and it did not work. That procedure is very affordable. Please email if you want to talk more.

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A.A.

answers from Waco on

Have you read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It is "the bible" for fertility issues. You'll learn more about your body than you ever thought possible. I really think it is a must-read for ALL women, regardless of whether or not you are struggling with infertility. Best of luck to you!

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C.M.

answers from Houston on

I used the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Wesheler. You can get it from Amazon.com. It helps you to see when you are actually ovulating, esp. if you have irregular cycles. I think it would be a good place to start before you jump into medical intervention.
Good luck! I know this is a very emotional time for you.

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M.V.

answers from Houston on

When you talk about having irregular cycles. Have you always been like that and how much of a fluxuation from cycle to cycle do you have? I'm asking because there is always a chance that you may have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Basically it means that your hormone levels do not fluctuate enough to kick in the next set of hormones and have a cycle. This is what I have in particular. I never knew when I would be getting a cycle and if I did, how long it would last and/or how heavy it may be. We went the route that your doctor is talking about which just basically helped an ovum to pop out and the ovulation procedure to continue. This may or may not work but if you have coverage for any of the medications, you may want to try a cycle or two. Most likely your best bet would be to go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist for a full workup and let them actually monitor you during a cycle. This will give them a true idea of what your body goes through during an normal cycle and with that information, they will best be able to guide you in the direction that you would need to go in to get pregnant.

You are more than into the relm of realistically seeking help and a reproductive endocrinologist, while a specialist and usually more expensive, you have a better chance of success with one of these doctors then going to a basic ob/gyn. Nothing against ob/gyns but they do not do the monitoring that a typical RE would do. You are basically flying blind with them. At least with an RE, you are monitored more closely so if the cycle does not work for some reason, they will have a better idea as to why.

I wish you the best of luck. It isn't easy and finding a support group, either in person or online, that you can talk to and just be yourself around will help you more then you realize. My first took 18 months of active working with a doctor to conceive and my second took over 4-1/2 years. A support group of women that are right where you are will be an invaluable asset. For me, I could be myself and they totally understood. Even my husband just didn't quite get it. The group of women I found knew just what I was going through and if there was just a day where I felt like pittying myself, they understood. In turn, I knew what was going on with them when they were having a bad day as well.

Wishing you and your husband the best of luck!

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K.P.

answers from Austin on

Hi R.,

Since you are in CP, I would recommend Tx Fertility. I see Dr. Vaughn, he ROCKS! It sounds like they are asking you to take a trigger shot. These are typically about $35-$55.

I would still try to track your cycles using Fertility Friend, etc. I would see if you can get a consultation with TFC.

Clomid you can get from HEB/Walmart etc on thier discount plan.

I am in Leander and going through IVF with TFC, so let me know if you have any questions.

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M.F.

answers from El Paso on

You don't say how old you are, so am assuming you are under 30. I think you just need to have sex as much as possible, but not out of a sense of duty. With an unpredictable cycle you have to up the odds before trying other measures. Good luck and have fun!!

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C.K.

answers from Houston on

look into purchasing an Clear Plan fertility monitor. It's a testing device that you use every morning and will let you know for sure when the "time" is. The first time I got pregnant it took years. Did the shots for months, quit those and got pregnant. Lost that child and then had our first son was concieved a few months after that. Tried for number two, did the shots again for a few months and said forget it. I always felt the shots weren't timed right. Got the Clear Plan monitor and was pregnant in three months. Shared it with friends afterwards and I know of at least four children who came to be after about four months with the monitor. Wasn't cheap way back when but worth every penny. I found out the doctors was way off. My time was around days 20 to 25 as opposed to days 14 to 18 like they predict. Check it out. One friend went through all the tests and her doctors told her she would never be able to concieve. Dylan is 5!
Good luck and I wouldn't recommend the herbs.

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D.R.

answers from Houston on

Get Wild Yam Cream from a company called NEFX. Use on chest only if you want your breast to increase in size. Also use through out your whole pregnacy. This also might sound a little strage but pray before you and your husband make-love for what you want. I wanted a healty boy with O positive blood and that is what I got. The Wild Yam will get your cycle right

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

I am a firm believer of accupuncture. It helped me with a lot of issues, including ovary problems that formal medicine couldn't help me with.

I am sure that it can help you. If you are interested let me know I can help you find one. The prices are usually very resonable.

Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

I have a friend who had trouble concieving, she went to the doctor and found she was anemic (not sure on spelling). When she started taking her iron pills, she was pregnant a month later. I just thought this info. Was worth posting, you never know what will help.

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C.L.

answers from San Antonio on

Irregular cycles just aren't normal, although they happen to a lot of us. Mine turned out to be PCOS. I think a really good first step would be to go to an endocrinologist. Don't say you are trying to get pregnant because insurance doesn't cover infertility most of the time. Tell them your cycles are erratic and you want to get healthy so you are investigating possible causes. If after meeting with that Dr. if he still says nothing is wrong, I'd try the shots. In the whole scheme of what you may pay for to get pregnant, that is a very cheap first step. By the way, it took us 3 years, but eventually it did happen. My husband and I BOTH were not candidates for IVF, so we just prayed with some medical help it would work out on it's own and it finally did. It didn't happen though until the point I realized I COULD be happy without a baby, that our lives together could be exciting enough, satisfyingly enough, full enough with just the two of us. It was like I needed to get to a place where I didn't NEED a baby to be whole. I never thought I'd get there and then one day I realized I wanted a cute sports car (a 2 seater) and I wanted to backpack across Europe for a second honeymoon. I wanted to get my masters in photography. All things that would be impractical with a baby. When I realized how exciting life could be I finally got pregnant. It's like they always say, when you start adoption proceedings you get pregnant. Some how it seems that some of us have some things to let go of in order to help our bodies work to their full potential. Good luck on your journey!

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R.N.

answers from Houston on

I agree with the other posters who have suggested possible PCOS. I have this syndrome as well. Clomid is just a pill and is not terribly expensive. You can try taking it alone with no other treatment...this has worked for many women. I think the shot your doctor is referring to is a hormone that simulates the hormone your body is supposed to produce to cause you to ovulate. You would take the clomid for around 5 days; your doctor would monitor your hormone levels via blood tests, and possibly your uterine lining with ultrasound. You would then have the shot when s/he determines that your body is ready for ovulation. All of this can get a little expensive, but it is nothing compared to ending up needing IVF. How old are you now? As we age, our fertility declines. If you are over 30 I would suggest seeing a fertility specialist. When I first began my journey through infertility several women I knew saw a doctor by the name of Kaylen Silverberg. By the time I was ready for a specialist, he had moved to Austin, where I believe he still practices. He is an awesome doctor and all my friends absolutely LOVED him. I had one friend who swore that no one else could 'get her pregnant,' so she ended up driving from SA to Austin for treatment (after a failed IVF with a doctor in SA). She had success with Dr. Silverberg on the first try (she already had a son whom she conceived under Dr. Silverberg's care). Try not to stress; the natural herbs and so forth may help, but really, if you are over 30 and really want to be pregnant it is time to see someone. If you are still in your 20s you can give it a bit more time, but try to adopt some de-stressing activities (yoga, meditation, etc), because stressing about getting pregnant will most assuredly make it harder for you to conceive. BTW, I am a success story...I have three beautiful daughters. Best of luck...let us know how it goes!

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K.Z.

answers from Austin on

I have heard from many friends that after coming off birth control pills they became preggo. Two of them had trouble conceiving prior to bc pills they gave up trying to get pregnant and took the pills to regulate periods. It is worth asking your dr. if she’s ever heard of cases like that. Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Houston on

R.,

I was in your situation and it took us over 2 years to get pregnant. Like you we prayed about it and knew that in His time it would happen or not happen. We were fortunate and didn't need the aide of drugs, but my sister in law who tried for 2 years to conceive had to have a shot similar to what you are speaking of and it worked the first time!! She just delivered a healthy baby in July. Keep up the prayers, but know that medicine can help! Will add you to my prayer list. Good luck!!!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i would take your mothers advice. doctors are so into medications they really dont know the bennifits of herbal things. i was having a problem and after three doctors one radical thinking doctor fixed my problem with an over the counter herbal type medication!!!! one doc told me it would be for life with my problem. have you seen those devices that let you know when you are fertal? i belive they sell them at walgreens. terribly sorry i dont remember the name of them. there are also warning signs of your period bloating, breast tenderness, clear discharge. look up more about that to understand it. if you check out fine and your hubby does too..."give up" thats when it ususally happens when your not trying! keep praying that God will send you a baby. He has a plan for you.

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K.G.

answers from Austin on

Hello R., I borrowed some of this response from another post I had responded to before about a woman interested in fertility drugs.

I had long cycles and was diagnosed with PCOS and was given Metformin and that worked for me very quickly(had a baby girl a year ago), but we talked about Clomid as the next step to help with ovulation issues.

You have to have a Dr. that is experienced in fertility issues and knows about working with different medications and are able to diagnose your issues. Just fyi...My OB/GYN Dr. in Austin is .Dr. Kimberly Carter at UTMB Austin

If you haven't already, or should you need more fertility testing you would probably be recommended to go to the Texas Fertility Center also in Austin. http://www.txfertility.com/

And if you want to look into some natural methods,like your Mom was suggesting I have had a couple of friends have good results going to http://austinfertilitysolution.com/

Best wishes!

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N.R.

answers from Houston on

First of all I want to say sorry that you are having to go through this...I know that feeling all to well...with my first child it took me 11 months to get pregnant but I too have an unpredictable cycle and I would try to track it but what i know helped was letting go...having a baby is out of our control and when we finally stopped trying we got pregnant and then realized that it was in God's timing not ours...now I am currently pregnant with our 2nd child and this time it took 1 1/2 yrs i got so disappointed one month to the next and after getting about 3 neg. tests i agian decided that i had been blessed with a beautiful little girl and i should be greatful for that...then when i least expected i got pregnant and let me tell i was not even trying infact i can say that my husband and I probably only had intercourse about 2-3 times within the time frame and here i am 17 weeks pregant...again it was all in God's timing...so relaxing and letting go for awhile in my opinion is the best thing to do! Good Luck and pray that you are blessed soon! God Bless!

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A.M.

answers from El Paso on

Hi there. Just to throw this out there--I have a friend who tried for a year to get pregnant and was finally successful the month she saw a chiropractor. I've since seen an article about chiropractic making strides with infertility. I'm sure a quick google search would help you find more info if you're interested. Blessings!!

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C.K.

answers from Houston on

I too have very irregular cycles. My hormone levels were fine and my doctor didn't know why I didn't seem to be ovulating. I charted my temperature for ovulation, took clomid to make me ovulate and progesterone to make me have my period regularly. Nothing was working and I was really frustrated and stressed. At this time my cycle was going almost 90 days between periods, which my doctor said not to go more than 90 days without calling him. He did suggest a few fertility specialists, but I wasn't ready to see them. After about a year and a half of doing nothing and just living my life I found out I was pregnant. Stressing about it hurts your chances of conceiving. I don't know if any of this helps you, but I do know how you feel.

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