Room Sharing - Spanish Fort,AL

Updated on February 03, 2010
L.W. asks from Spanish Fort, AL
9 answers

My daughter will be four next month and my son is 14 months old. Right now they each have their own bedroom. However, we are expecting number 3 at the end of the summer and someone is going to have to share a room. It might seem easy- girls together or boys together. But this is the situation. My daughter is not a good sleeper. She slept well enough at night as an infant, she gave up her naps entirely at 2 1/2, and although the first few months in her big girl bed went fine, she began coming into our bed every night when her brother was born (he was in our room in a cradle until six months of age, as was she) and it hasn't stopped. My son, on the other hand, is a wonderful sleeper. We corrected the mistakes we made with her (nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, etc) so he has been putting himself to sleep since five months of age and loves his naps and loves bedtime and sleep soundly all night. We aren't planning to find out the sex of baby, and granted we'll have time before he/she moves from our bedroom, but we want to at least make a decision soon about what we'd like to do. These are our considerations- put the girls together if the baby is a girl or put all three (regardless of sex) together in my son's room and make her room a play room. My daughter's room is the bigger of the two, but because of a large three panel window on one wall and closet on another, it isn't really set up for two twins or bunk beds. We'd manage of course, though. My son's room could house a bunk and a twin/crib, if I put the changing table in the closet. My only reservation about anyone sleeping in the same room as my son is that I wouldn't want his perfect sleeping record disturbed. What is anyone's experience with room sharing? Of the same or opposite sexes? How do we get them to adapt to one another when they will all be at such different ages? And what are some issues I may be overlooking? Thanks so much for the advice!

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L.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have a friend who has 3 kids two daughters and one boy the youngest boy and daughter share a room because they are closer in age, so far it has worked out well, she is the good sleep and he is not but has worked out, but she now at age 10 wants her own room or to share with her older sister who is in hightschool but that is due because she wants to be like her sister and thinks of herself as wanting to be older and bossy. Kids of different genders have been sharing rooms for ages due to family size and size of home and have done just fine, it's how you handle it and usually the kids have a close bond from sharing.

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A.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh man....sounds like a tough situation! We co slept with our DD till she was about 18 months...then she slept on the ground of our room on her mattress. She was always scared to sleep by herself. When our son was born, we tried again to co sleep with him but he didn't like it! So he slept in his crib right away from the time he was born. Once our DD (who is 2 1/2) finally started sleeping all night, and once my son (now 10 months) started to only wake up a few times to nurse we put them both in the same room. I was worried because both had previously woken up during the night, and I thought they would be waking each other up all night....but it worked! For the first few weeks I ran into their room anytime I heard either of them because I didn't want them waking each other up, but now I let the baby fuss a little, and my daughter sleeps all night. I never thought it would work but it did! And now I miss having someone in our room with us! Best of luck to you....no matter what you choose it WILL work out.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

I think I would put the 2 older kids together, until the baby is sleeping through the night. This way even if the 3 year old gets up, it is much quieter then a baby crying. As the baby gets older, you can reassess the situation depending on the sex of the baby and when it is sleeping through the night. Congratulations on #3 !

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My bro and I shared a room for a while, as did my lilttle brother and sister, simply due to being closer in ages, and it being easier on my mom. It didnt bother us, so dont let the gender thing get in the way.

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M.L.

answers from Fayetteville on

Hi L.,
We've done quite a bit of sharing, so even though I don't know what to tell you in your exact situation, I can tell you what our experience is. Right now, thankfully, all three of our kids are excellent sleepers. We worked h*** o* that, and I am glad it paid off. (As a side note: have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? It has ideas for sleep training even for older children, so you might find some ideas to help correct your oldest's bad habits.) Our kids are a girl (7), a boy (2) and another boy (1). When the youngest was born, he started out in our room. Then he got the nursery to himself while the older two shared a bedroom, so that his waking at night would not wake them. This turned out to be a problem as they tended to keep each other up late talking and making noises rather than going right to sleep. So eventually we moved my oldest into the nursery with the baby. I was worried about my older boy climbing into the crib, so that is why we chose to move her. That worked pretty well (I think the baby must have been sleeping through the night at that point, so I didn't have to worry about him waking her, though even if he did wake up, she is a pretty sound sleeper, so I don't remember it being a problem the majority of the time.) Most of the time she was quiet enough when she went to bed, not to wake him, but there were occasions when she woke him up and we had a crying baby for a bit.
After awhile, we put her back into the bedroom with my 2-year-old, because the one problem I had with him sleeping alone is that he would wake much earlier than the other two. After I got tired of trying to head him off before he went in and woke them up, I just moved her back in with him so that he could just wake her up and not the youngest (now about 1). My daughter was not thrilled with this arrangement, but it has worked out OK.
Just this last week, we decided to use the nursery as a home office for my husband, so we have actually now put all three kids to sleep in the same room. We moved all their toys out into the family room where they always end up playing anyway. This means less mess to clean up, and has really worked wonderfully so far. Their bedtimes are all 1/2 hour apart, so one is asleep before the next comes in (in theory). Some nights they wake each other up and are up later than normal, some nights it works smoothly and they are all asleep when they should be. They all wake up at a decent time and can play quietly in the room (without toys amazingly) until it is time to get up. I still have to go in and get my daughter up each night to take her to the bathroom, but so far that hasn't woken the boys up at all, since it would be the normal time for me to check on them anyway.

I don't know if any of that helps. I know it is a slightly different situation since they are all good sleepers, but as you can see, putting them together has not adversely affected how well they sleep in the long run. Feel free to play around with it too. If one arrangement doesn't work out, then switch it around.

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W.M.

answers from Auburn on

If you follow the same pattern that you did with your son, when the baby gets old enough I would put it in his room. if the new baby wakes up in the middle of the night he might wake up also the first couple of times, but it will be easier for him to go back to sleep and then he will learn to sleep through it. My kids sleep through each other waking up they are not bothered by the cry. They will wake up if one of them is laughing or playing but that is because they want to get up and play. When they all get older you might need to change that if they new one is a girl. Then that gives you a new game for the kids to have fun with.

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B.R.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you train the new baby to sleep as well as your youngest now, I think I would put the two youngest in a room together regardless of sex. I have 2 kids, ages 3 1/2 and 15 mos, boy and girl. In the beginning we had them both in the same room, the other room as the playroom. The new baby, while sleeping through the night very early, is a very light sleeper. My son started having bad dreams, crying out in the night and would wake her up. Usually when he had a bad dream he never actually woke up, but the baby would sometimes be up for hours. Thats when we seperated them. If your older daughter is the one with trouble with sleeping issues, I think I woul leave her in the room by herself. It may also make her feel like the "big girl", while the "babies" have a seperate room. Of course if the two youngest are different sexes some day you may end up switching the rooms around. But for now, if it was me I'd put the youngest together. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!!!!

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S.H.

answers from Montgomery on

We just made this move! Our 2 1/2 year old "terrible, terrible" sleeper moved in with our 6 year old (both boys) and it has been amazing. They love being together and the 2 1/2 year old now sleeps soundly through the night. He was previously coming into our room 3-4 times each night. Give it a try and you may be surprised what happens!

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L.B.

answers from New Orleans on

Well my situation was a little different. We had two rooms so as baby was still in crib and may wake up at night, I seperated the two boys, 2yrs apart. When it was time for baby to sleep in a big boy bed we merged them into the same room bc we'd wake up to the sleepin in the bigger ones twin bed sleeping together anyway. So then we made a toyroom out other room. We have since had a bby girl who is now 2, so they did have to give up toyroom-we just moved it into a tiny sunroom that we have. The boys went through bunkbeds for a few years (about 3) just this year we took them apart, they asked us to. The boys are now 10 and 8. Only problem is them talking at night and getting out of their beds hitting one another fussing and fighting. When they get punished, I can't send them together to their room, the'll just play!! It does get a little frustrating at times and I wish I could seperate them, when they don't listen and talk and fight instead of goi g to sleep, but there is no more rooms!!!!Bigger house is next I guess!!!!!

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