24 answers

Boy/girl Kids Sharing a Bedroom

We are ready for our second child and I am curious if there are laws about children of the opposite sex sharing a bedroom. If we have another boy then it's no big deal but if we have a girl we may have to think about moving. I am wondering if there is a "legal" age limit for children of the opposite sex to share a bedroom.

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Featured Answers

J., I don't know if there is an age limit as such, but I have to express something that's bothered me since I was a little girl. I shared a bedroom with my baby brother when we were little & had a small bungelow home. My father built me a bedroom of my very own upstairs when I was about 7 years old. I was so excited, but my Mom was dead against me staying in it. She was/is a housecleaning freak & she didn't like us stepping on her precious area rugs & messing things up. Anyway, she made me stay with my brother until I was in junior high & I was so embarassed. I'm not saying that you would do something like that, but it really made a lasting impression on me that I can't live down & it was all because she didn't want a mess. We were the cleanest kids in the neighborhood. We could never have kids/friends in the house because she wouldn't let them, but also, we were afraid someone would find out that we had to sleep in the same room. Thank goodness they were twin beds. It's just a really bad memory. Just wanted & NEEDED to share that.
K.

1 mom found this helpful

There are a completely different set of rules for divorced families. With exes trying to get back at each other, you have to be really careful.

There are no laws regarding this in any of the 50 states.

Social services have their own "guidelines" I do not know how they do it - they are not laws.

Apartments are allowed by law to limit the amount of people in a unit. They cannot define gender.

More Answers

Hello,
I understand your concern, I have two children, a girl 14 and a boy 11. When my son was old enough to move out of my bedroom, he moved into his sister's room. They shared a room until she was about 9 years old. I believe the age limit in MI is about 12 years old for opposite sex to share a room.
My husband and I decided to seperate them earlier than that and we moved to a three bedroom apt. We didn't realize that they had become so used to sharing a room, that even though they had their own rooms, they stilled tended to sleep on each others floors almost everynight. They were typical siblings during the day, fighting and what not, but at night I think they felt safer or more comfortable with each other. When my daughter was about 11, she finally "kicked" my son out for good.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it right now. You have plenty of time to find another place to live if you want the kids to have their own rooms. But they should be fine for a couple of years. It doesn't hurt them to share a room, and it might help them to be closer siblings. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

my daughter and son (24 months apart) had many sleepovers in each other's room. they took baths until my older one was about six years old. privacy didn't become an issue until about my daughter, the older one, started middle school (11 year old).

at this age, it wouldn't be an issue. if you don't make a big deal, they won't either.

good luck, hope you have a safe and quick delivery. you are so blessed!!! forget the housework, love them like crazy!!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.!
My best friend has 2 step children, twins, boy and girl. They have social workers who visit and come into their home so they were required to have them in separate rooms by age 5, they are now 6.
I say if you don't have anyone who is going to come into your house and report you then you can do whatever works best for you and the kids. I don't see any problem with siblings sharing a room when they are young. I shared with my brother for a while. They only issue you might have is the new baby waking up the toddler and vice versa....yikes! ;) Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

J., I don't know if there is an age limit as such, but I have to express something that's bothered me since I was a little girl. I shared a bedroom with my baby brother when we were little & had a small bungelow home. My father built me a bedroom of my very own upstairs when I was about 7 years old. I was so excited, but my Mom was dead against me staying in it. She was/is a housecleaning freak & she didn't like us stepping on her precious area rugs & messing things up. Anyway, she made me stay with my brother until I was in junior high & I was so embarassed. I'm not saying that you would do something like that, but it really made a lasting impression on me that I can't live down & it was all because she didn't want a mess. We were the cleanest kids in the neighborhood. We could never have kids/friends in the house because she wouldn't let them, but also, we were afraid someone would find out that we had to sleep in the same room. Thank goodness they were twin beds. It's just a really bad memory. Just wanted & NEEDED to share that.
K.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J. -
I know from living in an apartment awhile ago, that until the age of 5 years, brothers and sisters can share a room. After 5, they need their own room.
D.

I don't think there are any written laws, per se, on the subject, but don't write it in stone. I would ask your pediatrician.

But until they start going to school, I don't think there's a problem. Really. Until they start identifying with peers of their own sex, they should be able to survive each other. Unless of course one is just more disruptive than the other and interferes with naps or sleeptime.

There are a completely different set of rules for divorced families. With exes trying to get back at each other, you have to be really careful.

My kids each had their own rooms. Then I found out that I was pregnant. When my daughter was born, my other daughter was almost 6 and my son had just turned 4. I didn't want the baby to wake either up so we moved them in together. They loved it! Once the baby started sleeping through the night, I moved my oldest in with her. She would rather be in her brother's room and sometimes sleeps on the floor in there on a pad.

I don't know about the legalities, but they will be fine together for a few years. Once modesty sets in, I would have them in separate rooms. Wait until the market is better in a few years before you worry about selling. They will be fine for several years!

C.

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