Refusing to Go to Bathroom at Night

Updated on January 03, 2010
N.S. asks from Millerton, NY
7 answers

Hi all,

We are working on night-time potty training of our son. He uses the bathroom during the day and has been out of daipers for 7 months now. We have tried some of the common advice for overnight training and it is not working for us. He wakes up once or twice a night and insists he is thirsty and needs a drink. When we tell him no he is inconsolable and won't go back to bed. When we try putting him on the toilet in the middle of the night he squirms and kicks and screams and is generally impossible to control - plus he just refuses to go. It's gotten so about every other night or more he is wetting the bed.
I think he actually was doing better a few months ago. Right now he is also in a major testing the limits stage - he'll just wake up saying no repeatedly sometimes. He'll say no to most suggestions we make so he can he see the effect, even if he says yes a minute later, he tries the no first. And he is often refusing to got to the potty during the day, when he is playing and we make the suggestion. Oh, but he loves the Bear in The Big Blue House potty video and we can often convince him if we relate it back to the video. Today I brought the stickers back out.

Otherwise, he is funny, yummy, and adorable. He's a great kid with fabulous language skills (full sentences, complicated ideas), a ton of energy, and a serious stubborn streak that he gets from is mother.

1 mom found this helpful

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More Answers

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Dear N., It is so good that your son is trained for the daytime at this young age. He may not be ready for night. He seems to be trying to take control because you want it so badly. You may try to ease up and let him be for a while. He sounds like so much fun, enjoy him! Grandma Mary

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S.D.

answers from New York on

My son is 4 and we still put a pull up on at night. He needs his sleep and so do we. Most of the time he is dry so it is just insurance.

S.

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P.I.

answers from New York on

Hi

I think you can put him in night diapers for the time being. They make really good night time diapers. He is still very young. It is expected to be dry at night after age 5 for 75% of boys.

And what I found out with giving children water at night might not have any thing to do with their ability to be dry or use the toilet.
My daughter potty trained at ~ 27 month and at age 3.5 she decided from one day to the next that she will not use diapers at night any more. Here diapers were soaked every night before that. We had almost no accidents since then. She does use the potty once at night and she drinks some water as well.
I get a very dry mouth in the winter time and I can imagine it is uncomfortable for kids to not to drink.

Just on a personal note I got a better night sleep before my daughter went diaper less since now I have to tuck her back in after she uses the potty.

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K.T.

answers from New York on

Many kids take longer to train at night, lots of kids bladders are just not that fully developed to hold urine all night.
If the nighttime is such a struggle, why not just put him back in a diaper, or pull up, at night and let it go for awhile? It sounds like the nighttime potty has become tramatic for him. The experts say some kids are not ready to sleep through the night without wetting until 10 years old!!
I give my girls metal water bottles by their beds with a little bit of water in it (they are 4 and 2.5). They know they can take a drink from it anytime they wake up (I know I need to have a sip during hte night too), but if they drink it all right away they do not get anymore. A few nights and it taught them to drink little sips at a time. This way there is not the big battles over water before bed, during the night, ect.... and htey feel more in control.
Best of luck!
K.

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

Yes, I agree with some of the mothers here. Your son may not be ready and his bladder and muscles may not be fully developed either. I know there are people and it's mostly males who have wet their beds up to even 12 years old. Then they out grew it. So, for now, explain to him that you will put on the diapers until he is able to wake up in the middle of the night to go. Your son may be in a deep sleep. So, we have and are working with our two older ones about drinking water before bedtime. My husband says no, but I am conflicted because I feel I need to drink in the middle of the night. I mean, they won't wake up to drink it or sip it in the middle of the night so having a bottle by their beds won't make a difference. So, lately, our oldest, we wake him up, have him go to bathroom and then put him back in bed. He's the one whom we used to put the potty outside his room and he used to wake up and go but he seems not able to wake up in the middle of the night unless he wets. Our second son, he hardly ever wets and he says, I can't drink because I'll wet my bed. So he agrees with us but the oldest understands but doesn't like that idea. We are in the process potty training our youngest because he has said, "potty" "change" and he has done #1 and #2 in the potty. So, it's an ongoing potty theme in our house and I wouldn't change it for the world because it will one day be no children in our house. Enjoy him at each age he's in. They grow up too fast.

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T.Q.

answers from Albany on

Hi There,
He is probably just not ready for night time training yet. Some kids take years to night train and wet the bed until they are 8 or even older (most will learn around age 4 or 5). My daughter was completely day trained with no accidents well before her 3rd birthday, but is 4 now and is still wet every single night. (we still put her in diapers at night). My husband, his brother and father all slept so soundly that they wed the bed until age 10. Our pediatrician said it can be hereditary and not to worry... when she gets a little older and is embarrassed about it, their are meds she can take (if she hasn't outgrown it). In your case, your son is just young and not ready... whether it is physical or emotional for him, who knows, but I would just let it go for now. Put him in a pull up at night and don't make a big deal of it. Try putting a potty seat in his room with a towel under it and tell him he can use it if he wakes up and has to go... this might give him a little more of the control. Other than that, I wouldn't push it yet.
Good Luck!

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Get nighttime pull ups or Goodnights or something similar for the time being. He is young still and it is cold to get up to pee in the winter. In a few months it will be spring and maybe he will be at a less defiant stage. My son is 3.5 and we are still working out potty training issues (he is almost there in the daytime but not at night). I used to babysit and worked at sleep away camp when I was younger and there are a surprising number of bed wetters out there (at least 1 or 2 in a group of 30), even older kids (7-12).

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