3 Year Old Wetting Good Nites

Honey, All children are different, STOP making a big deal over it, It sounds more like a control issue. Try for 2 weeks, don't say a word about it, see what happens. It could be the attention he is getting is what he wants, negative attention is still attention, or his body is just not ready. Maybe he wants to be like the baby,with a young baby in the house and another 3 year old that is a lot of mom to share. Be patient, give him lots of lovin, see what happens. If he happens to stay dry, do a silly dance, put a smily face on his dry pull up! Put ice cream in their coco that morning,or put a sticker on his hand, something positive for being dry. Please don't compare the boys.
Remember to take time for yourself, I am a mom of 5, 3 step, it is tough, takes more patience than one thinks possible. You can do it! I also have been a childcare provider for 30 years. Trust me, you can do it.

Hi, Sarah!

Sounds like you have your hands full!

As someone who has lived through divorce and has also grown up in a "mixed" family, I can tell you there is great emotional stress. (Not that you didn't already know that.) My point is that these boys don't the emotional maturity to deal with all of the adult baggage that goes with divorce. I feel for you having to deal with it because my step-mom did too and it was very difficult!

Here are a few suggestions:
Sometimes bed wetting and emotional stress are connected. The first thing then is to be patient and understanding. It may be he is feeling a lack of security for some reason.

Secondly, address the physical. Try simple things first like not allowing anything to drink after a specific time at night. (This worked for me when training my own children.) I would usually stop allowing drinks about an hour before bedtime until I was confident they could make it through the night. Observe his patterns during the day. If he is drinking a lot and peeing a lot during the day, this may mean he has a more serious problem. (This is one of the tell-tale signs of type 1 diabetes,as I found out with my three-year-old daughter.) If he is a heavy sleeper he may not be aware of his body needing to relieve itself. Maybe he is just a chronic bed wetter. Some children do this until their pre-teens. In either case, maybe a visit and a chat with his doctor may not be a bad idea.

In any case, take heart. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
K. Larson

You can't Keep in mind that He's only 3 your expectations for him are a bit too high. MANY MANY MANY (myself included) children cannot go allnight without peeing and/or can't/don't wake up to go to the bathroom. It is NORMAL. All children develop at a different rate and thats OK it's not fair to a child to expect him to do something he is not developmenatly or physically capable of doing.

p.s. I was nine before I stopped wetting the bed, and i'm a perfectly functioning person today ;-)

Try not to compare your two sons. They will be different in many ways. Many boys have a difficult time staying dry at night even when they are 10 years old. Give him time.

I have two boys, 4 and 2. I used to send them to the toilet about 30-45 minutes before bedtime, just before putting on PJ's. But the 4 yr old, even after he was potty trained, was wetting the bed some nights, and sometimes the 2 yr old was soaking through his pullup. So I tried sending them to the toilet a second time right before prayers and getting into bed. I was amazed at how much they still could pee just half an hour later! So that is our routine now. Now we have no bedwetting except for sometimes when the 2 yr old doesn't pee before his nap. And if they take a long time to fall asleep, like an hour or more after bedtime, I send them to the toilet again. By then they usually have more to get out, and they sleep better with an empty bladder. Also, my 4 yr old knows if he gets up for a drink of water, even just a sip, he must go to the bathroom again before getting back into bed. They have made it into a game a few times, but not too bad.

I dont have any advice unfortunately, because my 4 year old still has to wear pull-ups to bed. He has been fully potty trained during the day since 18 months and still has difficulty at night. I've been trying to take it day by day, but am also getting frustrated thinking that there might be something that I can do to help the process. All the advice that I've gotten is the same as what you received here - just give him time and it will happen when he's ready. :) Good luck!!

I have a 5 year old boy that has only been dry all night for about a year. We kept with the pullups at bedtime until he was able to stay dry all night. My husband wet his bed until he was in middle school. After some discussion with our family doctor we decided our son either has a small bladder or he sleeps so soundly he just doesn't notice. My best advice is to stop sweating it and let him decide on his own, even if it seems to take forever. Putting too much pressure on him may make it worse and make him more upset about it. All kids are different, and this is one thing that they just need to grow out of eventually. Goodnight's Pullups are something that we learned to live with for a lot longer than we planned. Invest in another waterproof sheet for his mattress to keep that protected. Cut down his drink intake after dinner, that may help him stay dry a little longer at night. Also if he goes to bed a few hours before you do, try to get him up before you go to bed and help him to go potty one last time. That may help him get into a habit of waking in the night to go. These are things we did and they seemed to help our son stay dry through the night and it did work.

Hi S.,
I have a 5 year old son who also pees a lot at night in his pull-ups. My pediatrician told me they don't even start to worry until boys are 8. Some boys can't control their muscle until they are older. My friend said her brother had to be on medication when he was 12 & still wetting the bed due to a chemical imbalance.

My 5 year old is a heavy sleeper. I've tried to wake him up before I go to bed but he's so out of it that I know it's not possible right now for him to get up & use the toilet at night. He doesn't drink at night so I can't cut out extra liquid. I'm at a point where I just have to wait.

Good luck!
T.

This is the exact same thing that my daughter did. I would simply just say to put underwear on him & place some kind of towel or waterproof sheet underneath him & let him deal with his mess. It may be a little more trouble at night at first or then again he may surprise you like my daughter did me & not pee at all once the underwear are on. Good luck!
Brekka

There are many children, especially boys, who are not ready to be completely potty trained at the age of 3. It's not a matter of control, it's a matter of nerve endings being developed. He may be able to recognize when to do during the day because he's awake... but at night it's a complete different story when they're sound asleep. That tingling sensation may not be strong enough yet to actually wake him.

Hi S.,

Maybe 3 isn't quite old enough for your son to good to bed without having accidents. Our bodies all develope at different rates. I don't think it's a far reach for a 3 year old not to be ready for this step yet. Even if his mind is read, his body may not be. Expecting something from him that he is not ready for will only cause problems in the long run for both you and your son. I would think a 3 year old with two homes is a hugh emotional bourdon. Asking him to do something he is not yet able to do adds too much more pressure on such a small child.

Good luck with potty training, remember it is different for every child.

R.

I have always been taught, and live by the rule of never teach a child a habit that they will have to break. Meaning, if either one of your kids are wearing regular underwear, don't put them back into a 'diaper.' the Pullup/Night pants are diapers to the children, so they will treat them as such.

My son is 2.5 and was doing fine day and night with his regualr underwear.... that changed within the past two weeks. He's started to wet and have accidents more than ever. I know to bring along extra pairs of underwear and clothes if changes are necessary. I also talk to him every time their is an accident and ask him where he is supposed to go. I of course praise him when he goes in the restroom. ~ Goodluck.

My 3 year old almost 4 year old did the same thing. Some kids just don't have as much control and especially boys...wet their beds for years...it is very common. I put my son in a pull up when he goes to bed around 7:30 pm and wake him up right before I go to bed (around 11 pm)...then he will either sleep until 7 am and have a dry pull up when he wakes up or sometimes he wakes himself up to go to the bathroom around 5 and then goes back to sleep. Good luck!

I think my oldest daughter was almost three when she was completely potty trained and some children wet the bed only at night up until middle school. Of course, it is MUCH too soon to tell if that will be the case here. It just takes some kids longer. Divorce and more than one home to go to can be really stressful for children at any age, so this could be delaying complete potty training because of stress. It is definitely not his fault and nothing to worry about yet!

Hang in there!

I have a friend whos son is about to turn 4 and he still wears a pull up to bed, and is just now starting to not wake up with a wet one. Something that she and I have done is to not let them have anything to drink for at least an hour before bed time. I let mine, who is 3.5, have a little drink, but that's it. Hope that helps! At least he's going throughout the whole day with a dry pull up!!!

I'm having the same problem so I'll be reading all the responses too.

He's probably just not ready yet. You can limit his fluids in the evening so that he pees less at night, but if he is just not ready to stay dry all night then don't limit his fluids too much. The four year old should be wearing underwear at night if he is not having accidents. My son was not potty trained until 3 1/2 and closer to 4 for nighttime and now at age 5 1/2 still wets the bed once every month or two. My daughter figured out the potty by 2 1/2 and has only had a few nighttime accidents since. Every child is different. Be thankful that he is doing so well during the day!!!!

My 7 year old still wears good nights- we call them nighttime underwear. Apparently he is not the only one either- because they make them up to 100 lbs. My pediatrician said not to worry about it- it will happen one day. You can't force it. I don't allow my son more than a cup to drink after dinner. And we start to potty at least an hour prior to bed time and try to go again last thing before lights out.
Good luck

The answer is, you can't. Nighttime continence is dependent upon muscle contol, and you can't rush physical development! Many children are daytime potty trained well before they are able to remain dry at night. Actually, many children don't have this control until 7/8 years old (my daughter is included in that group). The most important thing you can do is remain non judgemental about the whole thing so that your step son doesn't develop anxiety or shame about something that he cannot control. If you are really concerned, ask your pediatrician, but (barring any medical complications)he/she will tell you to be patient and supportive.

Hey S.! I have read before that many children who are potty trained during the day will not be able to go through the night without accidents for a while longer. Maybe he is still too young to expect that from him.

It's not unusual for children who are daytime potty trained to take longer (sometimes a couple of years longer) to be nighttime trained. Sometimes the bladder takes longer to mature. Other times, children may sleep so soundly that they don't wake up when they need to go. Both of my girls were potty trained when they were 2 1/2. My youngest stayed dry all night very soon thereafter. My oldest needed a diaper at night until she was almost 5, and even then I'd put her on the potty before I went to bed so she wouldn't have an accident at night.

You can probably stop your 3 year old stepson to stop wetting deliberately by having him go potty right before bed and then putting on the Pull Up. But if he's wetting at night when he's asleep, I would assume it is NOT intentional and he's just not ready yet. You can also try what we used to do, and take him to the bathroom when you go to bed. My daughter woke up just enough to go, then went right back to sleep.

I know I don't respond to many of the questions I see on here.This one jumped out at me and my first thought was that the 3 year old my just have a smaller balder and can't hold it all night. Both of my boys had this issue but they grew out of it. The oldest took till he was 6 years old to stop wetting the bed at night. He is now 11. My other son was just a little over 5 and a half when he stopped. My daughter who is 6 now is just getting the idea that she has to wake up to go to the bathroom. that took some practice though. When I was on 2nd shift I would wake her up and have her go potty when I got home between 10:30 and 11:30 pm. I hope this helps you out some.

You can't. His bladder isn't ready for that yet. My son is 4 1/2 and stil wets a pull up at night, even if I limit his liquids before bedtime. But I don't normally do that because we live in a dry climate and he needs to be drinking lots of water. He will not be in the pull up forever. Most kids aren't ready to go all night until they are 5 or 6. Just because your other son can do it doesn't mean the 3 year old can. As long as he stays dry all day, I would be happy with that and don't pressure him to stay dry at night because he really can't help it.

night time potty trained comes a lot later on average than just daytime potty trained. it is normal for kids to wear a pull up at night only till 5 or 6 sometimes. or even later. depending on if there is any physical issues.
i wouldn't worry right now. every kid is different. as much as we want them to get it sooner,,lol for our sake mostly.. they will get it in time.
good luck

Some kids are not ready to stay dry all night long, especially boys. My daughter went regularly in the potty about two weeks before she turned three and I had diapers on her at night up to 10 months later. I didn't stop putting diapers on her until she was dry each night for a month. I never let her see it as a bad thing that she was wet at night, I would praise her if I noticed it was dry and she would get excited. You might want to as your doctor too, but most will say that the muscles needed to hold it all night long take longer in some kids to develop. I would just know at this point you need to use the pullups and his body will know when it is time. that way you are making less of a deal about it and it isn't a concern for him.

Boys take longer for their muscles for control develop enough. I know of many boys who have wet the bed well into their teens. Just give it time...sounds like his control muscles just havent fully developed yet.