Bed Wetting 3Yr Old

Updated on March 28, 2008
L.N. asks from Ridgewood, NJ
29 answers

My 3yr old son is potty trained for over 6 months. But can not seem to transition from night time pull ups. He is admit that he doesn't want to wear a "diaper" anymore, but continues to wet the bed. Subsequently he is very upset with himself in the morning.

What can I do next?

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M.W.

answers from New York on

Try taking him to the Chiropractor, it might not be in his control. My brother was a chronic bet-wetter and my mother finally took him to the chiropractor and it helped a lot. I do not remember quite how or why, but look into it.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

L.,
I agree with Vicki C's response. Limit his intake of liquids, put him to bed and wake him up and take him to the bathroom. I too did this with my son. In my case, I established a routine and my son eventually got up on his own when he had to go to the bathroom. Good Luck!

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K.C.

answers from New York on

This may sound weird, but cut out all iced tea or diuretic/caffeine drinks after 4pm. My 6 year old neice had every medical test run - came up negative. The sleep specialist determined she was/is a very heavy sleeper who was drinking too much iced tea. Tea is a diuretic and does make you pee... My sister only serves milk or water for dinner and has a "no drinks rule" 1 hour before bedtime. So far, she has been dry for 2 years... Good luck and I hope your solution is as simple.

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V.C.

answers from New York on

Hi L.!!
I had a heck of a time training my first son to stop wetting the bed through the night. What ended up working for me is....... I would restrict all liquids after 6:30, he would get one sip of water after brushing his teeth. I would put him to bed at 8pm and wake him up at 11pm to use the bathroom. He would whine and complain the entire way to the toliet but he would always go (he never remembered in the am that he gave me a hard time) in the morning he would be dry.. I didn't have a pull up on him through the night, he would wear big boy undies. I could count on one hand how many times he had accidents before he was completely trained...
Hope this works for you!
GOOD LUCK!! : )
V.

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S.B.

answers from Syracuse on

Bed wetting 3 year olds are totally normal. I would
put a pull up on him ONLY at bed time. I had all 4 of my kids potty trained by their 2nd birthdays (excluding bed time). I taught them to control what they were able to control and we put a "night time underwear" on at bed time for a while. He will stop wetting at night when he is a little older. I'm sure that he will take the pull up off himself in the morning and throw it away. He doesn't want to wet, he is just learning and growing. I would never recommend using pull ups for any other purpose than night time. Don't worry...he'll wake up dry regularly soon.
I would only recommend that you are careful to put on the pull up right before bed and take it off first thing in the AM (not after breakfast..)

C.O.

answers from New York on

L. - I am having the same issue with my 5 year old and my husband said he had it also and that it is very common especially with boys. I agree with the last person who posted, just try to cut off the drinking early and reassure him that its ok. I started using GOODNIGHTS about a year ago, and explained to him that they are not diapers, but instead just a precaution in case he has leakage and that it is perfectly normal. There is even writing on the package that explains that it is common, and I read that with him and he no longer has stress over it.

we are working hard now trying to get him to wake up dry trying rewards to motivate him to get out of bed as soon as he is waking up to see if he can do it. Too early to tell.

I think the key is to reassure him that it is common, and that many boys go through it so he isn't embarrassed by it.

PS: They even make the goodnights in a boxer style so it looks more like undies.

Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi L.!
We found that our daughter stayed dry through the night when we took her to the potty right before we went to bed. Typically she goes down at 7:30pm and we take her to the potty around 10:30pm. She still has the occasional accident, but for the most part it seems to help her. She also likes to drink quite a bit of fluids throughout the day, so we have tried cutting off fluids by 6pm or so. Hopefully, these suggestions will be helpful!
K.

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C.G.

answers from New York on

L.: I've found that sometimes the pull-up is the problem...it is so absorbent that the tiny amount of leaking urine that would normally wake a training child to finish in the potty isn't felt. The "wake-up" signal is lost. If he's ready and motivated, try foregoing the pull-up for a few nights...you may get a wet bed or two (so explain to him that's OK) but then dry! If not, try again in a few months.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

How about the Huggies GoodNights? They even have boxer looking ones now! Not as threatening as a diaper. My son was potty trained during the day at age 3 but still wore pull-ups to bed for quite some time after that.
Did you try limiting when and how much he drinks later in the day?
A friend of mine takes her son to the bathroom 3 or 4 times at 15 minute intervals for an hour before bed and it seems to work for her.
Good Luck

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B.S.

answers from New York on

Don't rush it or put pressure on him. Question- is he drinking milk or eating milk products before bed? I found out years later that milk allergies can cause bed wetting. My daughter was potty trained at 2..but not through the night until almost four..so she wore a diaper at night..until she was ready not to. If he feels badly, he is getting that information from outside of himself. Confidence is more important than success in an area he may not be ready, or there may be other reasons. Another 6 mos is not going to make a difference. Try not giving him any milk products 3 hours before bed. Otherwise..just be patient and let him know it does not matter to you. He is sleeping! He is not failing. I had an allergic daughter who is now 27 and expecting her own baby. She is no worse off because toilet training took longer. We did not have pull ups back then, and trying to find big enough diapers for a kid who was over the 100th percentile, was not easy.....

Also, i realized that i was a bed wetter, my brother was a bed wetter..and we all had milk allergies..which we did not know. We always drank milk before bed.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

We had the same problem with my great niece. We simply played the wetting down, continued to encourage her during the day for the great work and then cut out the liquids at night, a little at a time and earlier and earlier, until we found just how much and at what time all liquids had to stop prior to bed. After dinner we limit the amount she drinks more and more until we found the correct time to cut her off for an 8pm bed time and we limit all drinks as the day goes on. She no longer wets the bed and she is a big girl now.

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J.V.

answers from New York on

I've been potty training my 3 yr old girl twins myself since December. I've been trying to cut out any drinks 2 hours before bed, if they ask for a drink I tell them they can have a snack instead(something dry like crackers or goldfish).Also making sure that they go potty right before they go to bed helps. Another helpful thing I've done was put a liitle potty in their room so, if they feel they have to go in the night it's right there. I find it full in the morning all of the time. The pull ups at night are good just incase. Best of luck!

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C.F.

answers from New York on

As a mother of 4 and 1 grandson, the eldest being 25 and the youngest being 14, my grandson is 2. Might I suggest you limit his liquid intake. Maybe you shouldn't let him drink 2 hours before bedtime or if he needs to drink give him sips of liquid until he is able to control his bladder. Make sure the bathroom is the last thing he does before he goes to bed. If you are able wake him in the night to use the bathroom do so.
Consider what time he is going to bed, if he is going to bed too late, chances are he will sleep harder and not be able to feel the urge to urinate and it takes away from the opportunity for you to wake him, because you are probably tired later in the evening and more prone to sleeping harder as well. Above all else be patient, continue to encourge him and get a rubber mattress cover or you'll soon have to purchase a new matterss. I hope this helps.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

Hi! I am a mother of 3 and my son is 7 and still wets the bed. I need to get him up in the middle of the night to have him go to the bathroom or else he will have an accident. The doctor says they can put a belt around him which will beep when he pees, but I didn't want to do that or they can put him on medication and I didn't want to do that either. He said some boys take longer than others. My two daughters were 100% when they were 3. Boys are just slower than girls. I am 42 with 3 children and I own a daycare/preschool in Pompton Lakes if you ever need a daycare.

Good luck with your son.

M.

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D.H.

answers from New York on

Don't worry boys take longer in many things. My son wasn't potty trained until he was 3 and 1/2 then it took a good 8-10 months to make it through the night. We used pull-ups with cool characters that he choose so he wouldn't be upset with accidents- we also called them night time underware. We celebrated every morning he woke up dry by singing and dancing and high fives all around. And then one day well after he had turned 4, he just didn't have any more accidents. We have only 1 bathroom downstairs and my son is in a bunk bed so having the pull ups was essential because we didn't want him to get hurt getting to the bathroom half asleep.

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B.R.

answers from New York on

My younger one wet her bed till she was 5, not all the time, but I never scolded, just cleaned it all up and she went to school. She always had good dry days, not going for many hours, but at night time she was just too relaxed. Don't give up, this too shall pass, just put the baby dry pads on the sheets and keep your calm. I talked to her about staying dry and told her when she feels she needs to go, to get up and go, I didn't want to make her feel like there was anything wrong, and soon she will be like all the grown up girls and stay dry all night. I didn't make a big deal about days she was dry, just a simple congratulations was fine.

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A.R.

answers from New York on

Hello --- just wanted to share my experience w/ bed wetting. You probably know that bed wetting - especially among boys is not too uncommon. My 5 year old son still wets the bed some nights - and is more likely to if we don't get him up to go to the bathroom around the time we go to bed (11-12PM). Putting water proof pads, etc. on the bed has been helpful. Making sure he's getting enough rest, going to bed on time helps, and so does limiting drinks in the evening. We started saying only water after 6PM (and drink slowly.) If bed wetting continues as he gets older -- it is also helpful to have him take responsibility (i.e. put wet clothes in dirty wash, etc.). However, negative responses to the accidents don't seem to be effective - they just seem to add anxiety which sometimes causes people to urinate more frequently. Instead, work on those mentioned suggestions (if they seem helpful) and encourage him that he will grow out of it - he'll learn to wake up when he needs to go during the night. Your pediatrician might have other suggestions.
Hope it goes well.
-Sincerely,
A.

P.S. Yes- I read a response below- going to the bathroom right before he gets into bed helps too.

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W.S.

answers from Albany on

Hi L., my name is W. who has raised four girls. The last two who are now 23 and 18, wet their beds from the ages of 4 to 8. We tried the sticker idea on a calander, and rewards but found it was because the girls were such deep sleeper they wet the beds. Somehow they went into the deep sleep faster than other kids. We tried everything and finally got the Good Nights. They are wonderful and gave the two of them confidence and security. Now they come in boxer style so are even nicer. Your little one will grow out of the bed wetting and suddenly too. LOL All of a sudden he will wake up with a dry bed. And be very happy with himself. Try the Good Nights,and see how they work for you. Good luck, it is a trial for us when it happens. He knows you love him and assure him,so don't worry. W.

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B.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Sometimes bedwetting is caused by allergies. See Doris Rapp's book , Is This Your Child.
Also can be genetic...have other relatives had bedwetting as a child? The child really doesn't have control, no matter how hard they try. Also, try alternative sites on the web for herbs and homeopathic remedies that can help. ( or your local health food store or pharmacist). Wish I had known this when my kids were little! Good luck.

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D.V.

answers from Elmira on

I have raised 10 kids the youngest is now 10. I had 3 out 4 boys struggle with bedwetting way into Grade school. I tried to not make a big deal about it and used the huge pull up things with the one..changed bed sheets, tried to not let them drink bfore bed..but did not help. Ask your dr for advice. I had one daughter also struggle terribly. So out of 10... 4 had a hard time and 6 were done at age 2 and half with the night time thing. Never figured it out, but I wish I had. My best davice is to love him through it.~D.

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K.L.

answers from New York on

L. - I suggest not giving him anything to drink for at least an hour before bed and making sure he goes potty right before he goes to bed.
Hope this helps...
K.

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N.E.

answers from New York on

I would count yourself lucky! My 3+ year-old son has little interest in making the switch, though he is perfectly capable of it (and does pee sometimes in the toilet). As for bedwetting, my 7+ year-old son only recently has been totally dry overnight, though his problem stemmed mostly from his large fluid intake (much more than I drink in a day). My pediatrician has said it is a brain development issue and that it is hereditary as well, so you just need to wait it out (and use towels so you don't have to keep changing the sheets in the middle of the night!). Hope that helps!

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J.P.

answers from New York on

I was a nanny for 10 years and I have always told the parents of the children that I cared for that the key to a dry night is to make their childs last drink at dinner and to make sure they've gone to the potty before bed.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

i have the same problem...my son is 3 and has been potty trained since he was 22 months...he still wears pull ups to bed and doesnt want to....i have tried all suggestions like stopping him from drinking 2 hours before bed, waking him up once in the night, etc...i dont know what else to do

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N.M.

answers from New York on

His bladder may not be large enough and mature enough to hold all the urine it needs to for dry nights. This is especially common in boys. Daytime training has to do with knowing when they have to go, but nighttime has to do with how much the bladder is able to hold, and being able to wake up from a deep sleep to pee if your bladder cannot hold anymore. It may help to let him know it is ok to wear pull ups at night and as he gets older he'll be able to wear big boy underwear at night, instead of having him wake up to a wet bed.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

my little nephew has the same problem.... he sleeps to hard to wake up when he need to go... to solve this, they get him up to do his business before they go to bed after he's been asleep for afew hours... he does his business still half asleep goes right back to bed and doesn't have a accident.

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S.M.

answers from Syracuse on

My son had the same problem, well into 6-7 yrs old. We found that stopping all liquids by 6pm helped. We factored that he is such a strong sleeper, he just didnt wake up.

Also, when you go up to bed, take him into the bathroom then put him back to bed. Hopefully this will help him to transistion to doing it himself automatically.

There are some kids that have bladder problems and its a medical condition. We did check into that. There is a free tape on bed wetting that explains that situation. I believe we got it from our Dr. Check with your pediatrician, they may be able to help.

Assure him that its ok and you can try again the next night.

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L.H.

answers from Syracuse on

Bodies grow MUCH faster than bladders. 3 years old isn't bad at all, so dont worry. Retain his drink if possible and (I know it is usually impossible to do that most of the time) for 1-2 hours before bed.

It is up to you of you want to wake him to just go to the bathroom.. trade off is a cranky boy who had broken sleep, then cranky mom because she has to handle cranky boy... or a wet overnite pull up to toss out once a day... hmmm... hard choice :)

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C.R.

answers from New York on

RELAX! Some kids, and more frequently boys, don't stay dry or develop the sense to wake up if they need to until they are 6 or 7, or even 8. It happened to my three boys and am happy to report that now nobody wears pull-ups to sleep. Use good pull-ups to minimize your work in the morning and wait for the happy day that you don't have to buy pull-ups any more.
BTW, I tried to wake up my first two sons in the middle of the night to make them go and it was torture. They were too groggy and sleepy to know what was going on and couldn't really use the toilet.

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