Parents Disagree on How Many Children to Have

6 months is so young. I'd would just let the subject drop for awhile and especially when the little one is ill.
I have a 3 1/2 year old with autism. I desperatly wanted another baby. I recently just miscarried and still am wrecked at times. My spouse is done as far as he is concerned. My pregnacy was a surpise for both of us.
Now that I am no longer pg, I would like to try again but my husband is being stuborn. I understand how you feel. Keep in mind the baby is SO young still.
Give it time

Here is what i did with my husband. We have two adn I would like another one not right now though. I told him when I was pregnant with my daughter that I wanted all my kids by 30 becuase of complications i had during pregnancy. Well anyways he said he thinks two is enough but I want to be pregnant again and go thorugh the birth again and what not. So i compromised with him. I asked him not to say no right now. I'm talking 2 or 3 years from now anyways. He agreed to look at the situation again in a couple of years. Why not tell why dont we just revisit this in acouple years all i am asking is that you dont say no to another child. My son, my youngest, is 3 and he is a hand full and thats why he deosnt want anymroe but we agreed to talk about in a couple of years. That just might work wiht your husband. I mean after all isnt that what marriage is about. Compromising?

Oh yes, we all prob go through that at some point. I had a daughter in sept of 2005. My hubby said,"NO MORE KIDS". Yeah, well sometimes they change their minds. Parenting doesnt get any easier, but it does get different, and it will go by smoother. Your daughter is at an age right now, where it is a little harder, but wait a few more months, and you will both be gloating for another. I was!!!!!!My daughter is now 16 months old, and we are trying. My hubby was totally against it, and would laugh at me when I would say anything about having another baby. Now, well about a month ago he said he was ready to have another baby.I about fell over.Some daddies change their mind, and some dont. Just wait a while before bringing up the subject.It is still new to him.Good luck.

My first pregnancy was very difficult and when my miracle baby was born at 32 weeks, I thought that was it for me. Her first year was difficult because we had to deal with a lot of preemie issues. She was sick all the time (she had asthma too) and she was developmentally delayed. We spent a lot of time at doctor's offices and getting her the therapies she needed. Things got much better after the first year and I decided that, in the future, I would probably want another child. My husband felt very differently. He was happy with the child we had and didn't want to take any chances of things not "working out" the next time around. We argued about it and then I just let it drop.

When our oldest was nearing her third birthday, she asked if she would ever have a brother or sister because she wanted one. That opened to door to revisit the conversation about having more children. After many long discussions, we decided that we didn't want to deny her the opportunity of growing up with siblings.

Two months before her fourth birthday, my daughter got her wish-a baby sister. Six months later, I was pregnant again which was a great surprise. Shortly after her fifth birthday, she had a baby brother too.

Your baby is still young, it is probably hard for your husband to envision him three years old, walking, potty trained, dressing himself, etc... . Unless you are ready to get pregnant now, I would suggest you drop the topic until you are sure you are ready to start trying again. He may just be overwhelmed with all the new responsibilities that come with a baby.

My kids are over 3.5 years apart because my husband said at first he didn't want a second child. My first had health problems and it was hair-raising during his infancy and part of his toddlerhood. Then when he was in preschool my husband relented and said he wanted a second one. Husbands get easily overwhelmed and they freak. It might get easier after your baby is walking and talking. Just make sure that when you say, "Do you remember that cute thing he did when he was a baby?" it is always positive. Your baby is at the age where he's grabbing his feet and babbling, yes? Focus on the cuteness. Once things get easier your husband might develop "baby amnesia" and want another one.

If your husband is just anxious about this baby, he might change his mind. If it's financial worries or exhaustion (which it could be -- your baby is young), drop the subject for now and come back to it when you both aren't so tired.

Good luck!!

Hi T.,
I am a 27 year old mom married for 2 1/2 years as well. My husband and I kind of have the same thought...just one or more? What I said and seemed to work is a 'mot no, just not now' policy. Neither of us knows what we will was 3-5 years from now. So neither of us can go out and get sterilized or anything. I know that I do not want any after a certain age. We just agreed to let time help us decide. To give you an idea how this has worked for us, we have had the same policy in effect since we were 18. it was about kids in general. When the time was right, we had our daughter. It allowed us to talk about everything and we both decided to have a baby. Now, if we ever have another, we follow that bit of advice.

Your child is still very young and you both might feel a bit overwhelmed at the responsibility, especially when baby is not feeling well. As your baby grows, so will you. You'll gain confidence and get better at the things that right now might seem puzzling. For some men, once they get to see some of the fun things that go along with baby, and not just all the work, work, work they want more. My husband and I have four now and he is great with them. They are all still small and close in age (I kept getting pregnant when the newest baby was about 9 months old, so they came in about 18 month increments). They are alot of work, but alot of fun, too. They make me smile each and every day and I don't know what I would do without each of them. So, I don't think I would force any kind of decision. Compromise is a great word where happy marriages are concerned.

Hi T.,

I'm afraid I can't offer much except in the way of understanding and a listening ear. I'm 27 years old, my husband and I have been married for two years and we are expecting our first child, a son, in May. I am terrified and so is my hubby. Both of us always wanted kids, and I've always wanted lots and lots. But I notice when we talk of having more than two he seems weird because of the money factor. Even my mom, when I told her we were thinking of having another child a year after this one, is telling me to wait and see. It is really irritating, especially to me,someone who has always wanted at least four kids.

Here's something to remember: Both of you are stressed and worried over your son. Right now your hubby is probably scared,tired,worried, and angry that you guys have to go through this. Just give it some time. When this little chapter is over and your son gets better, your husband may come around.

Don't worry! ;-)

~ M.

It is very normal for men to do this. Men are naturally fixers and he is probably feeling totally out of control and overwhelmed because he can't "fix" what is going on with your son. I wouldn't even bring up another child until you get your sons health under control and enjoy having him for a while.

My husband and I are actually in the opposite position. He would love to have another child - I have no intention what-so-ever of having another one. So I guess the road goes both ways.