Pacifier Addiction

I had the same problem with my daughter who was 2 1/2 when my son was born 2 months ago.

We had been tossing her pacifiers every time she would chew one apart as it was dangerous.

The last one she threw away herself at the doctors office. There was a lot of crying like you are going through. I just kept telling her she was a big girl and gave it to the doctor. She asked me to get her more at the store and I explained, they dont' make them for people with teeth.

It's been 2 months and she will ask for it now and then and I tell her she's a big girl. At first she would get her brother's pacifier, but I told her she was too big for baby pacifiers.

Good luck and hopefully you can break her of it soon!
<hugs>

We got rid of my son's paci by cutting the tip of it off. That way when he asked for it we would give it to him, but when he sucked on it, it would collapse. The paci no longer works to provide the soothing suck sensation that they are looking for. He gave it up within about 2 weeks. If the first cut doesn't work then you cut off a little more, and a little more until there is no nipple left at all. They eventually figure it out.

Hi Lisa,
I know a lot of people will disagree with me,however my son used one until he was 7 off and on. Many times it was just knowing it was there, he didn't even use it. You know it is hard to understand what she is thinking, she herself may not understand. If this gives her comfort, I would let her give it up on her own. I had more people griping at me about my son that I finally told them that if he is still using it when he goes to college I will talk to him about it. He isn't and we won't have to talk. Good luck

Hi Lisa,

I agree with Brenda. My son just turned 2 last week (and I have a 3 1/2 month old daughter.) I had always thought that once my son turned 2, I would make him give up his paci. Two just seemed to be the magic age of when other people I knew (including my sisters) made their children give up their pacifiers. My son usually just used to use them for nap time and bedtime, and when he was around 18 months, I had weaned him of his nap time paci. If he was sick, or if there was something that was really disturbing him (like when we were on vacation and his entire routine was sort of blown away), I would let him have his paci more often.

When my son started sleeping in his toddler bed a month ago, I decided to let him have his nap time paci back. I knew I'd get sh*t from others for back-tracking, but it was the only way he would go to sleep for me. I really started to pay attention to the way his pacifier would really,truly "pacify" him. He could be this terrible, cranky, overtired monster, and I'd say "Do you want your paci?", and BOOM! Monster gone, sweet baby boy instead.

I started reading on-line about the importance (or non-importance) of making your child give up the pacifier. To my surprise, I found a bunch of articles / websites saying that "experts" no longer feel it is necessary to make your child give up the pacifier so young. I read more than one article that said that as long as your child gives up the pacifier before the age of 4, IF the pacifier had pushed the child's teeth out a bit, the teeth would move back into normal position within a month or two of giving up the pacifier. These experts also agreed that as long as your child didn't have the pacifier in his/her mouth all the time (and as long as it did not interfere with the child's ability to learn to speak), you should let your child continue to have the pacifier. They said it is important for your child to have some type of security object, so they can grow up feeling confident. Some children have blankies, some have a favorite stuffed animal, while others have their pacifiers.

Sooooo...with very good peace of mind, I have decided to let my son continue on with his pacifier use. (I talked to my husband about it, and I found out he agreed with this 100%, and that he never wanted me to make our son give up his pacifier at 2 years old the way I always did!)

I would recommend to try to encourage your daughter into using the pacifier only at nap time and bedtime...but do not force it. She is still so young, just 19 months, and the birth of your son is such a major change for her! My son is still adjusting to the birth of my daughter. On most days, he does great, but once in a while, he will suddenly resort to acts of jealousy. Just be patient. She will eventually grow out of it. I do try to tell my son that "paci's are for babies", and this seems to help him to get rid of it right when he wakes up, since he is "such a big boy now!" But like I said, I don't force it. I think that can only make things worse...

I wish you luck, and follow your instincts!!! I know you would like to listen to your pediatrician, but I feel that in matters that are not directly related to my child's health, I don't have to agree with our doctor. (For example, my son's doctor firmly believes in the cry-it-out system, and he told me to do this when my son was just 4 months old. I was completely against it...I did end up having to do it when my son was 15 months old and I was pregnant and decided I had no choice BUT to make him learn to fall asleep on his own, but that is a decision for a parent to make, not a doctor.) (I am teaching my 3 1/2 month old to fall asleep on her own by putting her down in her crib when she is almost asleep, and it is working! So I am hoping/praying I will NEVER have to make her cry-it-out!)

Good luck to you!! And congrats on your new son! (P.S. Good job on the breastfeeding; I breastfed my son for 6 months, but found that once my daughter was born, I could only handle breastfeeding her for 5 weeks!! It was soooo hard with my then-20-month-old running around...)

I Just had to tell you about this experience! My daughter was 3 years old and addicted to her pacifier. I could not for the life of me take it away from her without her throwing a tantrum. A friend of mine bought the book called The Paci Pixie where a fairy comes to the child during the night and takes the pacifier from the child while giving a gift at the same time. I read this book and played the song a few times to get my daughter used to the fact that the Paci Pixie was coming to take her pacifier to give to the new babies who needed it. Well the night came where the pixie came to the house and in the morning, my daughter was so proud of the fact that she was a big girl and gave up her pacifier!!! Check the book out! It was a life saver for us!

www.indigopixies.com

Lisa,
I just went through the paci addiction problem with my almost 3 year old. I posted on mamasource and attached some of the reponses I received. Maybe this will give you some ideas. I did go cold turkey but with a little twist. I let her choose a new baby doll but put it up high where she could see it. Once she was ready to send her paci's away to other babies who needed them, she could receive her new baby. It took about 2 weeks for her to make the final decision but then we put them in the mail (to a friend's house) and they were gone. She did still fuss, cry and ask for them for about 5 days but it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It seems the longer you wait to take them away the more difficult it gets for them to give it up.
Hope this helps!
http://www.mamasource.com/request/15934731300070490113.

C.

Hi there. I disagree with a lot of people on getting rid of the paci right now. I have a 5 month old and am starting to wean him off from it before he becomes attached. In your case, it's too late for that and with the trauma (mental) of not being the baby and having all of the attention like she used to, I would wait a bit longer. Just give her a month or two. I would start with distraction, try to substitute the paci with something else that is yours personally, and ask her to take care of it for you instead of going in the crib. Then if she refuses put her in the crib but make sure that she sees you havning lots of fun with her toys out of hte crib (reading her books to yourself). Try to get her to get out of the crib on her own idea. Then after a couple months when the new baby isn't nursing as often, and you have more time to spend iwth her, have the paci fairy come and get all the paci's and leave an age appropriate lovey for her(maybe even her own baby that looks like her or like her new sibling). Just a suggestion, but after the initial waiting/adjustment period, then you do have to go cold turkey, just be easy about it. Good luck!

She would ask for it but we would always tell her no and if she found one we would take it away from her. She did also have a blanket that she slept with and instead of the paci she would be fine with carring the blanket. Knowing that we were going to be having twins soon, I desided to go cold turkey with her paci and not give in. She cried for about an hour and that was it, she fell asleep and was good to go. The next night she asked about it and we told her that she didn't need it anymore and they were gone and that was all it took as long as she had her blanket. A few months later when the twins came she didn't even care that they had paci's she would say stuff about how she had one, but never tried to use theirs. Cold turkey was the best way for us, it was hard to hear her cry for it, but it was easy to say good bye too. Maybe she just needs something else for "comfort" to sleep with at night, that she can carry with her in the day as well. To help take her mind of the paci! Good Luck.

If she is going to have fits either way, I'd say get rid of the thing. It's not just their teeth it messes up, it's their actual soft bone formation in their mouth as well. My dentist said to have him off his thumb/paci by 2 or close thereafter. Get her a special bear or something else to attach to. I definately would not take it out of her crib now. You have a rule, stick to it. They need consistency as well.

Lisa,

I know this pain well. My youngest was almost 2 before we finally got rid of her "plug" as we called it. Its bad when they try to talk with it in their mouth. We started cutting the ends off them - didn't phase her. As long as she had it she was happy. Did the same thing that they were for bedtime only. She'd find them and have them during the day. So we took them and told her they were going to be taken by the pacifier fairy to go to someone younger who needed them more than she did. She fought us the first few nights going to sleep but after that was fine. She'd occasionally have a problem but we swapped a teddy bear as her nite-nite buddy for the plug and she was happy. She still has bear-bear to this day and is now 6

Hi Lisa~
Im having the same problem, only with a thumbsucker so I can't 'throw it out'! We've tried the stuff that makes it taste bad but the poor guy acts so pathetic it breaks my heart! My 7 month old is a paci-addict so we'll see where that goes....lol! We are just trying to remind the older one that he doesn't need his thumb during the day and that usually does it (he's 3). I think if you work toward naptime/bedtime only, it will probably take care of itself in time. We all need comfort and soothing, even as adults; our 'paci' just becomes something else, usally just talking ourselves through a situation. I don't think we can teach that 'cold-turkey' but we can help our kids work toward the confidence and security to be grownups!
~L.

Hi Lisa -- I have a 2 year old that I broke from his pacifer when he was about 14 mos old. He was walking by then and he only needed his paci at night time, never during the day. So one day, I took the advice of one of my girlfriends. It may seem "mean" but she told me to snip the nipple off the pacifer so when he attempts to put it in his mouth, it would fall out. I did it and asked my son "What happened?" and he looked at my kind of surprised. I told him that it "broke" and that we had to throw it away. I reassured him that he didn't need anymore and that was it. Cold turkey...he never had another thought about it. :-) I hope it works out for you. It may have been sheer luck but it worked for me. I hope it helps. :-)

I have a friend who is a dentist and his kids kept the pacifier or thumb sucking until ready to give it up. At latest their 4 yr. old daughter still sleeps with pacifier. According to him not a dental issue, a security issue. Instead of a stuffed animal or blanket. Although some have both.

I agree with your pediatrician, you should "cold trukey" that paci. The only thing is, you need to do it with you daughter. You have to take the paci to the trash, and tell her that she is a big girl now, and the paci has to go bye-bye. Do not under any circumstance tell her the paci is going becuase she is big sister (she'll blame little brother). You might replace the paci with a book or some other special memento that she would be especially excited about. If she isn't part of the paci departure, she won't understand where it went. Also, when I say take it to the trash, then tie up the trash and take it out to the dumpster or outside container (she will dig it out if left inside).

This is really really normal. Toddlers often regress when a new sibling comes home. Give her time to adjust, and feel secure again. Don't take the paci away if it's giving her comfort.