Terminating Pacifier Use

Updated on July 24, 2008
M.N. asks from Stamford, CT
28 answers

Looking for a painless and fun way to get my son to abandon his pacifier. He is 18 months old and only uses it during naps and bed time. Any suggestions?

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E.G.

answers from New York on

I have heard of mom's telling kids that the easter bunny was going to take it, or that we had to send it back to the hospital for the new babies to use, or a mom cut a hole in it so the kid could not use it and he threw it away himself.

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A.C.

answers from New York on

I had a terrible time getting my son off of the pacifier. Finally, one xmas, we wrote to Santa and offered the pacifier in exchange for a "big boy" toy. It worked. Santa even left a note of thanks which really finalized the deal.
Good luck.

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C.W.

answers from New York on

might not work with a boy, but my friend just had complete success with her 3 year old using the "lets send the pacifiers to the pacifier fairy." They made a pretty envelope with stickers, glitter etc. and mailed them off. Then a gift "arrived" the next day. No problems!

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Let him keep it for those times...babies are only babies for so long! My son had a bottle at nap and bedtime until he was over three! And he turned out fine! No cavities and no braces needed (he is now 12)....I really don't understand the rush to have these babies grow up so fast...sippie cups at a year, no more bottles, get rid of the pacifiers, the rush to potty train....jeez, can't babies be babies? If your son finds comfort in his pacifier when he wants to sleep, why take it away??? Let him be....

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

I actually had my daughter's pediatrician ask me why I didn't have a pacifier throwing away party when she turned two last month. I have never heard of such a thing...lol.

My daughter only uses it when we go on long car rides, naptime, and bedtime. I don't know how to get her off of it completely either and for my sanity's sake, I do not want to go cold turkey.

Geting her off hte bottle was so much easier...lol.
Nanc

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Hi M.! I am so amazed that some mothers let their kids have pacifiers for so long!!! I can't believe when i see older kids,3-4 years old still with them, it is just not right! That's when parents are letting the kids take control of the situation! I believe pacifiers are good for babies and YOUNG toddlers.....We took our son's away right after he turned 2! He started demanding that he had it and at that point they are just too old for it. Plus he was chewing on it and creating tears, it was just enough! So, about a month after he turned 2, we just took it away cold turkey. We talked about it with him for a few months before we did it, that he was getting too old, and that the babies needed to use it now.....Because we explained things to him, after a couple days, he stopped asking about it, and that was that!! It was much easier than i thought it would be!! He just didn't need it anymore, it was just an oral fixation at that point. The only thing i wished i did differently, was take it away sooner!! I did not like getting to the point where he was demanding he had it!! We weaned him from the bottle at 18 months, and that's around the time i wished i had done it!! Good luck and congrats on starting to think about taking it away now!!! Good for you!! -A.

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J.W.

answers from New York on

If you're willing to take your son to build a bear you can put his paci's all in the bear before they stuff it, that way he'll always have them near him although he won't be using them. It worked for two of my friends.

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J.J.

answers from New York on

hi M.;

my son used his paci till he was 2.5 yrs old and had no problems. in janruary, he started chewing them and probably swallowed pieces of the plastic, so we knew it was time to get rid of it. but it wasn't hard because at that point he was much more able to go to sleep on his own and he had enough language skills to talk about it and be comforted and also make trades for it. like, "i know you want your paci tonight and you miss it, but let's read a book and cuddle instead and see how it goes," and that would be fine.

my point is, maybe you're doing this too soon? if it's really hard i would say back off and let him hang on to it a while longer. my unlce, an orthodontist, and my cousin, a dentist, both say there is no harm in using it till 4 or 5 yrs old. if it helps him get to sleep i would leve well enough alone.

J.

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J.H.

answers from Syracuse on

I say let him keep it...if it soothes him, and he only has it for naps and bedtime, why take it away?

Let him enjoy it, I don't think you need to worry dental wise until the child is over 3 or 4, I believe, you can check with a local pediatric dentist.

Our 14 month old loves her paci at naptime and bed time - she doesn't get it any other time. I wouldn't think of taking it away - I'll follow her cues as to when she's ready.
(Unless of course she's going off to school - lol!)

Best wishes,
J.

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E.F.

answers from New York on

We waited until my daughter turned 3 and the pacifier fairy came and took it on her birthday. The fairy left a big girl present for her which I had made sure was something she really wanted. There are a couple of decent books about saying goodbye to the pacifier which you can read. My daughter was very attached to her pacifier yet by doing it this way there was no "trauma". She accepted that it was time and liked the idea of being a big girl.

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R.W.

answers from New York on

I cut a small slit in the top so that when they suck on it, it's just not the same! ha! It has worked for 4 of my kids....5ht one didn't ever take the passy. Anyway, try it and see what happens.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hi
I'm actually going thru this now with my 26 month old son. He always used it for bedtime. I started Sunday night and he went to bed 2 hours later and got up like 3 times crying looking for it. LAst night same thing 2 hours later and cried about twice during the night looking for it. He falls asleep without it. When he woke up crying, i gave him a drink. I think after a couple more days he would be fine. So, just try without it!

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D.M.

answers from New York on

Hi - my son was about the same age - I actually found a pacifer where the nipple was torn - so I ripped it off and showed it to him - and said it had to go bye bye. He put it in the trash himself. He went back to the trash a few times that day and once the next but he knew it was gone and we have been binky free since! I of course ran around the house gathering up all the other ones so we wouldn't have an issue! I don't think we give the kids enought credit - I thought it would be a nightmare - but he did great!

D.

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K.W.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

My pediatrician told me about a great, painless way to eliminate the pacifier that has worked like a charm for me twice... and my kids were very attached to their pacifiers! While your child is asleep at night or out during the day (at any point, he is not using it) take a scissor and snip the front end of the pacifier, creating a hole in the rubber. This will (1) make it less comfortable for him to have it in his mouth and (2) it breaks the seal of suction for them so its a lot of work for them to keep it in their mouth. The reason why this technique is so great is because of the psychology behind it... you are not the "bad guy" for taking the pacifier away but rather your child is making a conscious decision not to use it anymore. My kids were a little upset when they discovered that their pacfiers were "broken", they would put it in their mouths, take it out and look at it a little confused. But they got over it in a day or so and eventually would just leave them behind. I saved them for a few weeks just in case they asked for it but when they saw it was still "broken" they moved on and eventually forgot about them altogether.

Good Luck!
K.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

I just weaned him off of it, like I did for milk. At first, I would give it to him for naps and at bed time. Then I gave it to him less at nap time and still included bedtime. Eventually, I stopped giving it to him during the day and then only at night and then not at all; cold turkey. Good Luck!!!!! I had him off of the pacifier by 19 months.

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S.S.

answers from Glens Falls on

We just went through this with my 23 month old. He also only used it in his crib. One naptime it just wasn't there. When he asked for it we told him simply "Paci all done". He yelled (mad, not crying) for about 1/2 hour and then fell asleep. Same at bedtime that day. Within a few days he was falling asleep without it.
My thought was that we would break him of it now, because when he's older he'll be more attached, and more likely to fight us when we want to get rid of it. I know others think they will let you know when they want to get rid of it. It just depends on what you believe and what you want to do.

Today he saw my friend's baby with one and took it and put it in his mouth. When I took it from him he cried for about a minute and then was fine.

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V.F.

answers from New York on

My sister poked a pin-sized whole in the pacifier, but didn't tell her boy she had done it. When he tried to suck on the pacifier, the suction wasn't the same. He told her it was broke and they threw it away together.

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T.G.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
My children suck their thumbs, but I saw a great technique for pacifiers from "Super Nanny". She told the little boy that the Paci Fairie needs pacies for less fortunate ittle boys and girls who don't have paacies. And, because he is a big boy, he can help the Paci Fairy by giving his pacies to the Paci Fairy for those less fortunate children. In return the Fairy brings a special gift to those that help the children - would he be willing to help? (after some coaxing the child agreed). She had the child run around the house finding all his pacifiers and put them all in a manila envelope, addressed it to the Paci Fairy then placed it in the mailbox before going to bed. The next morning JoJo took the boy to the mailbox to find a special gift from the Paci fairy (a fun, inexpensive toy) with a bunch of colored feathers and other "Fairy" remnants. The little boy never asked for his paci again. The great thing about this is no one is the "bad guy" and the child feels great about making the decision him/herself AND helping less fortunate children. Of course, you toss the old pacifiers. But, there are wonderful lessons in this simple activity. I have used this same approach with my children for other things they must let go of, such as bottles, old toys, etc. It works wonders. If that doesn't work for you, there's always the technique of cutting the tip off the pacifier so there's no suction.
Good luck!

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D.B.

answers from New York on

At 18 months I gave my son a different shaped pacifier than he was used to and he threw it on the floor and wouldn't take it. He didn't cry but it took a little more time for him to go to sleep without it for the first couple of days. But I definitely believe in doing that or like other people said cutting the tip so that its them giving it up and not you taking it away. The first time he saw his cousin with a pacifier in his mouth he tried to take it but he didn't cry about it. Now he's 21 months and just saw a kid with one in his mouth today at the little gym and he didn't even look twice.

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S.G.

answers from Albany on

We are still trying to slowly eliminate our soon to be 3yr olds pacifier addiction. She only uses it for naps/bedtime. No outside the house usage anymore. We have halted it since she is potty training and we don't want to overwhelm her with too many changes at once.
I had someone suggest when they wake up tell them that you are leaving the pacifier on the pillow and it will be there when they go to bed.

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W.H.

answers from New York on

Hi, I'd like to add to the Binky Fairy suggestion. I saw it on Super Nanny. Jo had the child walk around the house collecting all the binkies in a positive exciting way. Then the child put the bag of binkies into the mail box before bed time. Then in the morning there was fairy dust (glitter, sparkles, feather) in and around the mailbox and the special prize was in the mailbox. The child LOVED it. You might want to visit supernanny.com and see if she has any suggestions posted.
Good Luck!

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S.F.

answers from New York on

We poked a very small hole in the pacifier so it wouldn't actually "suck" anymore, our daughter just got a bunch of air - sort of like trying to drink through a straw that has a tear in it. We told her it was "broken" and we kept all the pacifiers in the house (they just all had holes in them), so anytime she wanted one, she could have it, but since it didn't "work" she lost interest in it very shortly (within a day or two).

Good luck!

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

There is a book...BYE,BYE Pacifier...muppet babies... Piggy figures out she's too big for a binki...this worked with my kids(I suggest skipping the page where Nana gives it back)...there is a cute poem on the last page that my son and I would say over and over together and after about a week of the book he handed me his binki and we were done...the paci fairy is cute but no matter what you do as in everything it may take a day or so to adjust, just calmly remind that it's gone(my son threw his in the garbage) and it'll be fine.

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K.G.

answers from Jamestown on

I would start by eliminating it slowly during nap times then once he stops using it for naps, go to bed time.
maybe get him a new animal or baby doll to sleep with instead of the binky.
When he needs the binky to sooth himself, give him the babydoll or animal... he will eventually give up the binky, and he might just make a new 'friend'.

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S.D.

answers from New York on

sounds evil, but i'd wait a few more months (when he's more aware) and tell him the story of santa claus -- but add that you have to mail him binki with his letter to him to get presents.

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S.D.

answers from Syracuse on

M.,

"The Pacy Fairy." I have a now three year old son who let go of his pacy around the same time. A few weeks before I knew I was going to take away the pacy I talked with him about other children that needed these pacies and the way they got them was from the "Pacy Fairy." We then put the pacy in an envelop for the fairy to get out of the mailbox and in return he would get a prize. I ended up putting a couple matchbox cars in the return envelop for him and also left behind some "fairy dust" so he would think that it was real. Once he thought that the fairy came and took his pacy to another child and he did a good deed, we never looked back at the pacy again. Give them credit for wanting to help out other chidren. Good luck.

S. D.

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M.C.

answers from New York on

Hi,

If he's a good night time sleeper, start taking it away at night. If he's a better napper, then start taking it away at nap time and then slowly take it away for the other. my daughter was a horrible napper but a great night sleeper so I took it away at night and within 3 nights, she wasn't even looking for it. It took a little longer with nap time but once she was acustomed to going to sleep without it at night, nap time shortly followed.

Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Buffalo on

I am currently working on the same thing with my 2 year old. I put up a request for this not that long ago and got alot of great advice. Most people told me to not rush it, that a pacifier can't hurt the child before 3 years old. I'm going to make a "real" attempt at about 2 1/2. The advice I found most helpful was to use the Binki Fairy method. Give your child a lot of prep time telling them that soon the Binki Fairy (BF) will come to take all the binki's away b/c she is a big girl now, and the BF will take them away to babies who really need them. And then the BF will give the Big Girl a present in place of the binki's because she was such a big girl and shared her binki's with babies who really needed them. And for the present have it be some type of comfort thing (new blanket or stuffed animal) they can take to bed with them and still feel safe. I've started telling my daughter now about the BF and am hoping to remove the binki's in about a month or so. Just give him lots of positive feedback about what a big boy he is and how much he doesnt' need teh binki's anymore. Good luck

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