No RS Vps

Updated on January 29, 2014
P.:. asks from Phoenix, AZ
32 answers

My son gave invitations to every child in his class and I have not received one RSPV to his party. His party is next Sunday. I didn't realize I planned it for Superbowl Sunday. The party is from 1130-230 and the game doesn't start until 430. I've never had no one RSVP. Wheat I've found in the past is those who don't RSVP usually don't come. I know it's only Tuesday but I'm a worry wart. I would hate for no one to come. Should I be worried? How would you prepare as far as quantity of food and goodie bags?

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So What Happened?

I found that I had a class roster that was sent by the class mom back in September. It only listed about 12 0f the 23 kids in the class though. I sent an email and have received 4 responses. One mom said her daughter just gave her the invitation today...the kids are in kindergarten, the parents should be checking the back pack every day. Anyway, from the responses I've gotten, I think there will be enough kids there to have the party as planned. I will, however, keep the Super Bowl in mind in the future. This is the first time I've invited the whole class, don't think it's my favorite way to go. Thank you all for your suggestions and input.

Featured Answers

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Superbowl parties usually start before the game, so I seriously doubt you're going to get many people at all.

I'd suggest considering a reschedule for next weekend. Send out a new set of invitations with a "WHOOPS!" note. There's no rule that you MUST have a birthday party ON a kid's birthday. After 12 years of military service, I've lost count of the number of birthdays we've rescheduled.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you are going to have a problem with attendance because of the Super Bowl. I really have no idea how to plan for food and goodie bags. Most Super Bowl parties start in the afternoon, so I wouldn't expect too many kids to show up.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you can get a school directory or have kiddo ask the kids if they're coming or not, that mom or dad needs to talk to their parents. Sometimes this can get a phone call.

I don't even do RSVP's. Why? I plan on them coming and leave it at that.

I do NOT give gifts to the kids coming to the party and will be totally glad when that fad is out of style. SO no goody bags have to be prepared.

I don't usually do something where I have to pay by the head, I do a group rate that covers whomever might show up.

I buy a large sheet cake and if no one comes I have cake to eat, so I get the flavor I like to eat....lol.

If 20 kids show up, great, I just get to eat less cake. If 30 kids show up wonderful! If 8 show up then I send some cake home with others.

I have had it with planning stressful parties that are no fun for anyone because I'm as tight as a guitar string. Less stress = a LOT more fun, and cake.

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More Answers

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Start calling and emailing.

I learned after my son's birthday party earlier this month that the best way to do invitations is through a website like Evites where the parent can just click "yes" or "no." I think our culture has become so used to the automation of electronics that we have gotten pretty lax in responding to written invitations.

Normally I'd fight against this trend, but I've decided this isn't a battle worth fighting and will ultimately save me the hassle and guesswork.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

As others noted, never depend on kids to get paper invitations home to parents, alas. How long ago did you send these out? If it was more than a few days, I'd assume parents have never seen them.

Does your school publish class directories? If so -- get it out today and start calling. If not, does your class have a "room parent" who does things like coordinate holiday parties and gifts for the teacher? If so, that person probably has an e-mail list for the whole class. You might even have those addresses yourself if you've received any all-parent e-mails the room parent sent out at the start of the year -- check your emails from early fall and see if there is a "to" list that gives you all the addresses.

In our area, the issue would be not just the football game (I don't get keeping kid home ALL day for a game that starts at 4:30!) but the fact it's Sunday and the party starts before lunchtime. Many families have church Sunday mornings; others have things going on weekly--I know, for instance, one Indian family where the kids are in traditional Indian dance classes from 9-12 Sundays, a Chinese family where the kids are in Chinese culture/language lessons all Sunday mornings, etc. It's a big morning here for cultural as well as religious groups to meet, hold classes, etc. Just something to think about with Sunday mornings.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I would have your son call his close friends and ask them personally if they were going to be able to make it to his party. We only invite close friends, and everyone always RSVP's. I would also think about rescheduling since you are up against church and Superbowl parties.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i so don't get the modern trend of inviting the whole class. i think that, far more than 'bad manners', is at the heart of the dearth of RSVPs when it comes to kids' parties. parents are just drowning in invitations from families they barely know. and that doesn't even account for all the invitations that got dropped or lost or never delivered.
you'll probably lose a few to Super Bowl parties, but i'll bet there are still enough who will come.
but you'll make yourself crazy just sitting and worrying until sunday. pick up the phone and start calling. it's the only way to have a reasonably accurate head count.
khairete
S.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Did you put RSVP or RSVP regrets?

I think at this point you need to get contact info if you don't already have it and call or e-mail each family. Approach it as "I'm not sure if the invitation went home and am trying to get an accurate count for the party, could you please let me know whether or not your child can attend?"

If no one or only one or two kids is available, then re-schedule. You can either be honest and say that you are rescheduling due to so many families having Superbowl plans or you could say that someone in your family has a virus or something.

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I could see a good amount of kids/family having plans for super bowl and most super bowl parties start earlier than the game. However, that being said, I don't do anything for Super Bowl so I would be a parent that would most likely plan on going. I would give it until Thursday and if you don't hear back from anyone by then, I'd ask the teacher if there was anyway you could have phone numbers or email addresses so that you could send out a reminder.

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

I would start calling all the parents to make sure they got the invitations. There's a REALLY good chance a lot of those invitations are sitting at the bottoms of backpacks, still in cubbies at school, in jacket pockets, etc. Then there are the folks who never RSVP because they have no manners and feel like since they're not coming, they don't have to RSVP. Then there are those folks who don't know their Super Bowl Sunday plans yet, so aren't ready to commit to your party, but may very well be planning to come. Add all of those together and you have the situation you're in.

First plan of action is to make those phone calls asap.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

This is why handing out invites at school isn't a good idea. Many of them are probably still sitting in kids backpacks, or they accidentally got thrown away or whatever.
I'd start calling parents now. It's too bad you invited the whole class rather than just inviting his actual friends, that's going to be a lot more work, and practically impossible if you don't have a class list with phone numbers and emails.
Good luck!!!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Queen of the Castle that Evites are the way to go. People can't be bothered to pick up the phone or send a quick email.

I had one big birthday party when my oldest turned 7. It was her golden birthday and we had it at Pump it Up. It was an expensive party with a minimum of 25 kids. I invited her entire class plus family and friends. Of her class, only half bothered to rsvp. Of those who did rsvp, we had 3-4 who didn't show and didn't call. People are just so self centered and inconsiderate nowadays. Needless to say, that was the last big party I've ever hosted. I now let me kids pick 2-3 friends and I take them on an outing for their birthdays.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I would call or email each parent and ask. Also, have your son ask around at school. Not everyone has superbowl parties or watches football. We don't and most of our friends don't. So I don't think you need to assume everyone will be spending the entire day at or hosting superbowl parties!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

That is plenty early in the day. People are just rude about RSVPs. If you can go ahead and either call/text or email those you invited saying just trying to have a head count... often it is absent mindedness and they will get their s*** together with a little reminder.

We have a bday party and a superbowl party same day, no biggie.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Bummer! A lot of people don't RSVP, which is super rude! I hope it all turns out well:)

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

People just have no manners anymore and many don't feel the need to RSVP. I hate that, especially when I am throwing a party and am paying upwards of $20 a head. Get on the phone and call, explain that you need to confirm your number count for the party.

Do you have a class list with phone numbers from the teacher?

Another thought.... the children are discouraged at our elementary school from handing out invitations because there are some children who never get one. That said, it does happen a lot and children bring them to school. There have been multiple times I have been teaching and at the end of the day, around the lockers and even on student desks, I find birthday invitations. They have no name of who is invited so I can't place them in the appropriate locker, backpack, etc. I have returned them to the child who passed them out but at the same time, I don't know if they were ever given out or returned home.

Good luck and I hope your party goes well.

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

You have to email each parent and ask if they are coming. I would definitely be worried no one with show up. People are SO rude.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

That does not mean no one will come. My son's party was last Saturday and I did really start getting most the rsvp's till a few days before. Which yes is annoying then there were several that showed up that did not RSVP. If you have contact info call the parents.

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R.X.

answers from Houston on

I'd send a change of date invite for the day before Super Bowl. Saturday parties are better anyway. School is the next day....

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Honestly I would not expect a large turn out, and if that turns out to be true just try to make sure your son understands that it was more then likely not by his friends choice, but the parents. The game may not start until 430, but the parties start much much earlier, plus if I am throwing one myself there is lots of cooking and set up and prep, I may not have time to run my kid across town for another event.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would call each person to see if they are coming.
I doubt you will have anyone come as the parents will be busy involved
in pregame activities. No one will want to leave their house.
I would reschedule it for the following weekend so you don't disappoint
your child.

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We're at church during that time so if we were invited, we would not be there. Hopefully he has some neighborhood friends that are coming. Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Honestly, I doubt you are going to have anyone come to the party. Super Bowl Sunday starts in the morning not when the game starts.

I think it would be a good idea to reschedule the birthday party.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem!! Some parents are so rude not to RSVP!!! Hardly anyone rsvp'd to my son's party, & I had to email them (& some more than once) asking if they can please rsvp. They should have been so embarrassed! How would they feel if the situation was reversed? So, one mom still never rsvp'd, & I had to send a note for the teacher to put in her son's backpack. She still never rsvp'd!! You need to email or call these parents to find out if their children can come. It sucks, I know! Good luck!

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*.*.

answers from New London on

My kids are older and everybody used to RSVP ! I am so sorry that this is happening.

I would send out an email or leave a message on phone machine to all you invited: "Waiting on some RSVP's for my child's party! Please let me know by ____, otherwise, I will know
that your child cannot make it".

Or you could have it the week after.

I used to have a swimming party every year...and if rained the whole weekend, I would have the party the following Saturday.
If you decide to, mention to everybody that the party has been changed to the following weekend due the Superbowl parties.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

How old is your son? How old are his friends? Are you sure all the invitations were given out? What if they go dropped on the floor by half the kids and the other half went into the bottom of the backpack and haven't been found by the parents? They could be mixed in with a bunch of flyers or have apple juice spilled on them.

I think the best way to invite people is to a) MAIL an invitation to the house or b) send an e-vite via email. Once invitations go to the entire class, people think it's more of an open house, you're having a huge crowd so one more kid or one less kid won't matter, and so on. I agree it's not right (Super Bowl Sunday or not), but you have to make it much easier for people to respond by ensuring that the invitations get to the decision-maker.

I wouldn't make any food or any goodie bags for people I don't have a response from. Since you don't even know, at this point, whether people received the invitation, you have to either call everyone to find out if they got the invitation, or you have to re-think the whole party, reschedule, and find a more direct and accurate way of getting the invitations out. The other thing you can do is really ask your son to choose a few close friends he really plays with and enjoys, rather than inviting the entire class. 95% of people do not want to go to 22 birthday parties a year for every classmate of their children. Think about people with 3 kids! They're overwhelmed! Keep it simple, have your son make sensible choices, and just invite people who you know will care about this and will get back to you. Give at least 3 weeks lead time in the future.

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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I would be worried. For me it is so hard to plan when the headcount can swing by so many. The food I decide on is usually based on headcount.

One time a child handed out invitation. It happened to be during 'opening ceremonies' for baseball. I texted the mom letting her know most kids will have their first game and 6 of the boys invited are on the same team and will being playing during the party time. Sure the party was not for the boys, but she appreciated knowing and switch the time (this helped her son have boys at the party instead of just the girls).

I have actually had several parties switched this year. I think the power of text and iPhones allow for quick changes.

Would you son be okay with having it the following weekend if few or no kids can go? Did you already rent a location and will not get a refund? If this is the case, defiantly send out reminder and email or text the parents. Since the whole class is invited I would think the teacher could help with the reminder.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

If you have contact info for any parents, I would give them a call/e-mail etc. See if you can find at least a couple of friends who can come. For the past couple of years, I have asked the mom of my daughter's best friend if they were free on the date of the party before I planned it. That way I knew there was at least one person who could attend. If you really end up with no one coming, I would reschedule for another day with a few close friends (rather than the whole class).

For food - what were you planning on having? if something like pizza, you can wait until the day of the party to order. For snacks, I would have things that you would eat at your house even if people don't come (e.g. in our house we eat a lot of Goldfish crackers and pretzels).

Good luck!

L.M.

answers from Dover on

What was the reply by date you put on the invitation? Typically it's about a week before the party which is THIS Sunday (5 days)...it's fair to send a reminder to school to go to each child saying...":Just a reminder that Joey's party is Sunday from 1130 to 230. Please let us know if you are able to attend." and include your phone number and email.

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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

Something similar happened to me. I wrote a note on my stationery to each classmate asking them not to forget to RSVP and gave my number. Maybe you can send a note out this week to contact you by Thursday or Friday with their RSVP. I only did that because it's his first party and school is still new to him, and I wanted to overlap the two, for his sake. Otherwise, I would not have minded just letting them show up to a closed door.

I did not plan for more than the RSVPs that I got.

Did you invite people outside his class? If so, just plan for them.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Do crafts as the take home. Your kids keep the extras, and they usually come in packs of 6 or 12. Take any unused packs back to the store.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Do you have a list of students in the class with parent contact information? I would get on the phone to ask if they received an invite to the party and if their child was planning to attend. Or if some of the kids are picked up by parents, I would go up to school and catch the parents I could find and ask them if they had received the invite. If you find that no one is able to come to the party, I would reschedule it for your son. A Sunday party starting at 11:30 am might interfere with church services for some families. A birthday party on Superbowl Sunday might be a problem because some Super Bowl parties start several hours before game time.

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