My 5 Year Old HATES Wearing Underwear

Have you tried boxers. They're not so skin tight. Also maybe let him pick them out with his favorite characters on them. Good luck. If that doesn't work, then just let him be free, I don't think it's that big of a deal! look on the bright side at least he'll wear his pants.lol. good luck

Hi W.,
I have a friend with a twelve year old with sensory integration issues. The only underwear he will wear (and it took her years to discover this) is seemless and supersoft (can't remember the fiber content). I think it was ridiculously expensive, but she was happy to find something he would wear.
Anyway, look for seemless, tagless - maybe silk, or super-soft cotton.
Good luck!

if he doesn't want to wear them ... let him go commando. And talk to hubby to find out why it's such a big deal to him.

I don't see the big deal about it either. Same for socks. Get him canvas tennis shoes so you can toss them in the washer easily when they start getting on the stinky side.

Problem solved.

Hello W.:

You are facing several amazing situations and I appreciate your love of your children. I have a son with a Autism related problem and 4 other children. We have a skin problem in our famly so several members hate certain fabrics because it makes them itch and uncomfortable. I have learned from my 3 sons several things and I hope it may help you.
1. We buy only boxers because of the loose fit. Yes they can be gotten for young men/boys.
2. We buy the silky fabrics as it is soft on the skin.
3. We make sure to wash things in dreft or ivory so that it is gentle on the skin.
As my sons are grown they still wear only boxers and still use mild soaps never the cheapest soap or tide. One son says that he has even used baby shampoo! I know that this can be frustrating and hard for you and your son. I really hope that you find the solution that works well for you. Good Luck and I hope you enjoy the great adventure of parenthood, Nana Glenda

Hi W.,

I have a 19 year old daughter just like your oldest and a 15 year old son like your middle one. I know what kind of ups and downs that you can have in that situation. My 15 yo went for about 5 years (maybe longer, I can't remember) without wearing any kind of underwear. He had the same complaints and I finally gave up. I did find that he responded very well to boxers when he wasn't wearing pants (sometimes inside out to ease the itching) and I was gradually able to ease him into boxer/briefs. All I can say is that some boys like the "freebird" experience. I even dated a guy who still didn't wear them. As for your hubby, try to find out the actual reasons that he has a problem with it. You might be able to work with his issues so that everyone is happy. You and I both know better than most that parenting is very much an "adaptive" technique.

Hang in there

W.,

SOOOO let your husband take this one on! He will tell your six year old to put his pants on get dressed and stop the non-sense. That's that!

Blessings....

I'm not sure it is sooo important (especially for a boy, not like for a girl wearing a dress). But if he does get embarrassed he'll change his mind. Or gets his weenie caught in the zipper...

I was a physically sensitive child (and am as an adult) and the seams of socks hurt my feet (like having a splinter), itchy tags made me nuts, I couldn't tolerate certain fabrics. I learned to ignore some of it as I got older, but I still have days when nothing is comfortable.

Your son isn't making it up or being overly dramatic or trying to be difficult. When he says it hurts, he means it.

I recommend reading Raising Your Spirited Child. After I read it, I called my mom and asked her how she dealt with me--she said I had to learn to dress myself very early. Some days I would wear the same clothes because they were the only thing comfortable.

Perhaps you could ask your son to help you solve the problem. Tell him that his father thinks that he needs to wear underwear and you worry about him being embarrassed. Ask him what he thinks might be a solution.

Another brand might be more comfy. Or perhaps boxers?

I think others have covered any responses I had regarding the underwear - try different types, or just let him go without.
But, have you considered testing to see if he is having a problem with the laundry products you use? If that happens to be the case, his underwear and socks are the first places he'd notice a problem, as the other clothing doesn't touch his skin as closely. One thing I have noticed when working with children, (because I am sensitive to a couple of laundry detergents) is that sometimes people tend to use too much detergent in the machine, and it doesn't rinse out as well as it should. I have even had the experience of having to ask another teacher to hold and comfort a child because the detergent residue in the clothing caused me to have a reaction.
I have also noticed that when I had to do my laundry at a public laundromat, I had to be careful and double rinse, because the detergent others used might have been one of the ones I was sensitive to, and it didn't always get rinsed out of the machines well enough.
This may not be your son's problem, but I think it's worth at least considering.

Hi W.,
I saw your post and immediately thought. Sensory stuff. You do not need to be on the ASD spectrum to have Sensory issues. In fact, all humans have their own sensory needs, whether it is texture, food, smells, sights..part of being human. Itchy underwear, tags and seams in socks are real. The need for underwear is real too :) My kiddo turns his socks inside out now at 6 which I think is pretty clever. I buy him tagless underwear..all cotton, sort of costly. I used to have to buy Hanna Anderson, then Gymboree but even Hanes has some now...wash all clothes to soften them...Try reading up on ideas for improving sensory organization that will help him. You did not indidcate any other sensory issues but if they should arise...check out all of the literature...out of sync child, raising a sensory smart child and email me if you want more.

Best,
C.

I don't either. I have a 6 year old and sometimes he just doesn't want to wear them and I never knew what the bid deal was with pushing them to wear underwear. I never nagged him and now he wears them (except in bed).

mother of four

It may be a 5 year old thing, because my 5 year old is the same way! I just insist that he wears them if we leave the house. I think in my case, my son is just lazy and doesn't want to take the extra step. We let him pick a pack of underwear and he will always choose some out of his chosen dinosaur pack when given the choice... so maybe if your son picks his own it could help. Good luck!

Could he have mild sensory integration issues? As another poster mentioned, having sensory integration difficulties often has nothing to do w/ Autism. It can be its own, isolated issue. There are techniques for helping kids w/ sensory integration issues, and you might want to ask your pediatrician whether it's worth having your son evaluated. Also, I agree w/posters who mentioned making sure that your laundry detergent isn't the issue. Always go fragrance and dye free.

My son is the same way and he is 8 now and it started when he was 6. We bought him boxers though and one and a half sizes bigger because when you wash them they shrink at least a size and this seemed to really helped. I only ask him wear to wear his cotton boxers when he plays any type of sports because I told him the boxers/under garment will give him a little more protection if he gets hit in that area. Also make sure he is a good wiper because if not, he will be really stinky because he will sweat more. That is all I can think of but he goes commando at home, on weekends and under his pajama bottoms. Also, he only wears socks to school and it is true if they don't wear socks their feet will get stinky and the lack of socks and stinky shoes will create another problem! smile. Good luck and enjoy!

Call me wierd or whatever you want, but I don't see the big deal in wearing underwear. Let him go commando!! He's comfortable, happy and healthy. It may be "proper" to wear underwear, but do you really know what people are wearing under thier clothes when you pass them in the street or work next to them everyday? Nope. There are tons of people out there who just don't wear any, and are perfectly fine.

W.,
Have you tried different styles of underwear? Our son hated wearing briefs like his dad wears. He preferrs the boxer briefs intead. That might solve your issue. And he also preferrs his socks not be above his ankles. He won't wear the longer ones. WE all have our preferences!!
W. M.

Hi W., have you tried Boxer Shorts underwear? My son didn't like underwear, either, and much prefered(and still does at 20) boxer shorts, so give them a try. Hope this works. As for the socks, my grand-son likes his socks inside out, as he doesn't like the feeling of the toe seams pressing against his toes. So you might try this approach for your son, also. Good luck, CJ

Hi W.,

My son prefers boxers and he is 5. Also, I cannot use Tide because it does not rinse as well as other detergents. Because of this problem, we use dye free, scent free detergent and double rinse all the laundry. This has solved the skin irritation problem as well.

D.

Hello W.,
I don't know when, my youngest asked me for boxers. Now all 3 of them wear boxers. My youngest likes his pants to hang down like you see among kids nowadays. As for the socks, I have the same problem. My oldest is lazy, he doesn't feel like putting them on. Boxers are more comfortable I guess. Some bad habits should be stopped before they get started. Boys are stubborn when it comes to changing clothes too. I hope this helps. G.

Try boxers rather than briefs? Maybe find socks without toe seems, or maybe he'd be more comfortable in wool than cotton (yes, even in summer--I know I am)? Otherwise, I wouldn't waste a lot of lifetime stressing about it, as long as his shoes are good quality--i.e. breathable leather, and not plastic.

I didn't get through the responses but my 3 yr old son likes ones I found at Target, I think they're called comfort band, they don't have the elastic, I'd hate that elastic too!

K.

Try boxers or boxer briefs. Sometimes the "weenie flap" hits in a different spot and can be irritating. When my eldest tried to go without underwear for a couple of days when he was younger (I wasn't aware of this), he actually caught some "skin" from his boy parts in the zipper. Needless to say, he always wore underwear after that. As for the socks, they make some without the seam at the toe. Give those a try. Also, my youngest doesnt' like the longer tube socks, and prefers just the socks that are just like a liner for your shoe.

what about boxers, instead of tighty whities.

just an idea...have you tried Boxers? My nephew is 4 and he didnt like the way the underwear felt so my sister bought him a couple pair of boxers adn he is a happy camper now!

I had the same issue with my son.

What i did is buy his briefs in a size that is 4-5 times bigger than what the package says he wears. I figured he'd grow into them if they were too big- to my surprise they fit already. (they will shrink one size just in washing!)The clothes that come from china run smaller, or else they label them so that the kid will grow out of them in 6 months and you have to buy more, I duuno!

I also got him some boxers, on the bigger size as well, so the band isnt too tight.

I started insisting on socks because his shoes started stinking from the sweat. Just buy a bigger size than needed.

For myself, I buy socks for diabetic feet, the bands don't squeeze. I wonder if they have diabetic socks for kids? I got mine at wallmart for adult, maybe a medical supply store or online might carry for kids?

I have girls, but we've found that Hanna Andersson has really fantastic underwear (we buy it online since there's no store where we live). It's very soft and only gets softer with washing, and all of the seams are perfectly tucked under and flat, so there's very little there to irritate them.