Mom Seeking Advice to Help Boys Grow into Emotionally Healthy Decision Makers

I think you are doing things well currently- just keep open communication going as you have been and you will be pleased with the results. My two sons are 18 and 21 and we have wonderful open communication. You are laying the groundwork now and creating a norm of open communication. You will find this will come in handy when they are teenagers as long as you mix in a sense of humor as well. Always be honest , sincere, and direct- your kids will appreciate it. If your neighbors have different views and norms of parental guidance- DO NOT CHANGE what you are doing- just explain to your kids that families are different and this is how your family does things. Later on they will learn to appreciate the value of how your family does things. Best of Luck to you as you give your time and energy to the most important job in the world- parenting..

i think the way you are handling things is great. and i understand exactly where you are coming from! as i also have a young boy(4). but in my experince i have noticed that some parents hold their sons on a pedestal and don'tmake then deal with anything!! my boyfriend's 13 yo son is like this and i trully believe that he will have some serious issues as he gets older. he can answer everything with a barely audible "i don't know", but then we have to tell him to shut up when he's on the phone with his friends, barely gets in trouble for major issues( stealing, lying, not being where he is supposed to be, brand new Jordans(which cost over $150 dollars) after a terrible report card)doesn't really have to do chores and is not held accountable when the chores are half done. his parents don't really talk to him about things and when his fathers tries to we get the same"i don't know". but i feel that if they had done the things that you are trying to do he wouldn't be like he is. don't let them get away from you but don't overwhelm them either. so i say keep up the good work. and i will be looking for that book you mentioned!

I don't have any answers, I will have to read that book, I worry alot about my kids teen years (boy and girl) and i hope that i am laying the foundation now to deal with that. but i do feel like i am living in a world of crazy parents who just don't care.

You are so wise to pursue healthy emotional decision making and what a great time for them to learn emotional self-regulation that can impact all aspects of their lives - their behavior, their work at school, in sports, in creative projects, their health and relationships and their overall well-being and personal fulfillment. Being healthy emotionally is indeed the foundation for that and yes, there are ways to do just that. Learning to recognize emotions and then with strategies to transform 'negative' emotions, we can change the underlying distress into fuel for greater well-being. It changed my life and my childrens' lives as well (24 and 22.) You are on the right track!!! Best to you.

I agree with L. from Evanston. I have six sons, ages 15 to 28, and I have a great relationship with all of them. My mother recently remarked that when they talk with me, it's as if they are talking with a friend.

You are laying the groundwork and doing a great job of it. It's most important to create a foundation for open communication when your boys are young. This will continue as they get older. Life won't always be easy, especially as they see their peers get away with things they can't, but as long as you have that communication you won't have to worry. I have also noticed other boys not being held accountable and not being close to their parents. It could be that some of those boys will end up at your house, looking for the guidance and attention they don't get at home. Over the years we have had many such boys, ones I call my "seventh sons."

I could go on and on because the issue of parenting boys is very important to me, but I just want to say that you're doing a fantastic job. Keep it up!