Hi, I hate to write about this so publicly online, but I'd love to see if anyone else has struggled with this. I've never had any sex drive to speak of since my high school years. I was on birth control for about 10 years, which I believe was the problem. Once I went off birth control, I finally started having a little bit more of a sex drive, but still nothing phenomenal. I know that a lower libido is normal after giving birth due to changing hormone levels, but I'm wondering how long that effects things. My baby is 4 months old; I thought things would be better by now. I wouldn't be worried since I did just have a baby and I understand that that has a lot of effects on women's libido, but I am concerned since pre-baby, I also struggled with low libido, even after going off the pill. I suspect I should just see a doctor about it - does anyone have a good OBGYN recommendation near the Wash Park area?
I have a great OB-GYN! Dr Goodman at Mile High OB-GYN, the office is just off of Alameda and Leetsdale. Dr. Goodman has helped me so much and always has time to listen to what is going on with me.
Hi B. - there is so much that goes on with our bodies and our minds after having a baby. You're probably exhausted and frankly you're in "mommy" mode. It's difficult too because with a newborn, especially breastfeeding a newborn, our bodies feel like they don't belong to us anymore. As mom's we give and give and give to our children and then we're expected to give as wives too. It can be challenging if we don't have a good perspective that we are both wives and mothers. This might be hard, but you're probably going to have to just dive back into a physical relationship with your husband "on purpose" even though you don't feel like it at first. I would definitely talk to your doctor about doing a full hormone panel. There is some evidence that low testosterone leads to low libido in women. Relational and other emotional factors also play a large role. You might even consider setting up a meeting or two with a counselor to discuss how to transition out of your post-partum season and perhaps other causes of low libido.
You are certainly not alone. Blessings to you!
are you breastfeeding? I don't know if there is any chemical kind of response by your body, but I know my sex drive didn't really come back until after I stopped breastfeeding (around 9 mos)... it was either hormones... or maybe just the fact that I already had a little creature attached to me throughout my day and when I finally got some time to myself I wasn't feeling I had a lot more to give... anyway, just a idea.
regardless, be kind to yourself and try to relax. it is still pretty soon after your baby has been born. try to find some time for yourself and get some gentle exercise. it will help you feel like you are getting your body back and feel more like your old self.
good luck.
If you are breastfeeding this is pretty normal. I think it is normal even if you are not bf'ing. IDK really what to say but I went through the same thing after all of my kiddos (I have 3, my youngest is 11 mos.). But lately something amazing has happened, lol. I just turned 28 and ya know how you always heard that a woman is in her sexual prime like in her 30's, guess what I think it's true. I all of the sudden have a renewed sexual energy and libido and the sex is great (still married to the same guy :). My only advice to you though would be do it anyway. I actually viewed sex as "quality time" with my partner and a chance for us to reconnect as lovers not not feel like just being parents. Perhaps if you do it dutifully often enough you may learn to enjoy it again. I did. GL!
I have 2 babies - ages 2 and 7 months. Honestly, I haven't had a libido since the first one was born. Between c-sections with both, breastfeeding with both, being pregnant and breastfeeding at the same time. . . well, I could really care less about sex. I truly don't care if I ever have it again. I'm hoping that will change after I stop breastfeeding and, if it doesn't, I will go see the doctor. If you are breastfeeding, don't expect your libido to return until you are done.
Hang in there Mom! I too have a 4 month old baby, so I know exactly what your going through. I also have a 6 and a 3 year old, so I know the cycle all to well :) Hang in there, your body will adjust to the sudden change in routine and get into the swing of things. Try setting the mood with your body when you think the time is right. Try a shower with a lit candle, or some new night clothes...Maybe even some more one on one interaction to get some bedroom interest with your partner.
Good Luck!
Are you nursing? It suppresses ovulation (as does the Pill). If you are like me, ovulation and sex drive are VERY interconnected! Mine was next to nothing while on the pill, while pregnant and while nursing until my period resumed, at which point ovulation resumed. I could have told you the minute that happened at that point! Even if it's not about ovulation per se, I'm sure it's at least about hormonal changes. It may just take some more time, otherwise talking with your doc might be in order. Good luck!
All I can say about the libido issue is you are not alone.
I LOVE my OBGYN- her office is connected to Rose Medical Center (9th and Colorado):
Dana Roper-Johnson/ Essential Women's Care ###-###-####
I was right there with you, I was on the depo shot and asked my dr. to either find a new birth control option or recommend a good lawyer :) It will get better, when your baby is a little older and able to stay with a sitter overnight, you and your husband need to do something fun. Even if you stay in town, go dancing or to Elitch's, the museum, anything. Have a romantic dinner and remember why you married him. YOU get babied a little, it does wonders for you mind, and in turn will do wonders for your sex life.
This is so normal! Yes go to the Dr.! Haven't you been seeing one all along? Being sleep deprived is not conducive to feeling sexy! Hang in there! Good luck!
