Last Name

I would just do what you feel you should do without worrying about what he will think. i had the same problem and ended up giving both of my kids their dads last name but now we are split up..he is not in their lives and have a different name then me. so just do what you feel is the best thing to do.

When I had my first son me and my husband were not married. (We were living in Kentucky) I know that while I was in the hospital, me and the baby were both known my maiden name. I had decided to give him his fathers last name and it didn't matter. If you are not married they will go by your last name in the hospital.
Now in Kentucky they have you fill out the info for the baby's social security card and birth certificate. That is when you will both have to show ID's and then what you write is what the baby's last name will be. It seems to me that if you want the baby to have your last name do that. (even if this causes a small argument, in the grand scheme of things it will be minor.) If you decide to marry your boyfriend then you can change the baby's last name. Its really not a big deal. (does cost some $)
I have a hyphenated last name..... maiden-married. When I had my 2nd son last year they did the same thing as they did the first time while we were in the hospital! then went by my maiden name and the baby did too.
Seriously, if you feel like you want the baby to have your last name go that route. No one should give you greif for it... it doesn't change the faact that your boyfriend is still the father. good luck !

Dear J., Do you and your boyfriend plan on getting married? Usually babies last name is their fathers. Is there a certain reason why you want your baby's last name yours and not your boyfriend's? I know this must be a tough issue. To me, I don't see why the baby can't have your boyfriend's last name. Good luck with your decision. Try and reach a compromise with your boyfriend and get his imput and feelings on the subject before making the decision. After all, this is his baby too and it's very important to have the father involved in every decision. Wish you the best.

My question, Why doesn't he want you to have his last name?
I'm not trying to offend, because then there's no contest; baby has it and so do you.
But if that's not an option,
I believe it's your choice! I think it's even a legal thing that it's your choice, I don't know for sure but look it up. Take care and God bless you and your sweet little one.

If you and your boyfriend are not married, the hospital will give the baby your last name. My brother and sister in law (now) had their first before they got marriend and my nephew was given my sis in law's last name until they got married. They got married within one month, so I am not sure if you wait longer than that to get married and the father does not have to adopt your baby, or what, but after my brother and sister in law got married, I know he did not have to adopt his son to give him the family name. I hope this helps! I would not recommend you bringing this up with your boyfriend right now (before the baby is born), as it would only raise up angry emotions within your house and probably not the best environment for the baby to come home to.

I don't know if there is much I can tell you that hasn't already been said. My son's father and I were never married, and my son (age 9) still has my last name. The topic has come up to change it, but I am not ready. Explaining to people why your child has a different last name then you is not as difficult as you may think. Talk to your BF, exlpain to him that this is something that YOU feel strongly about, and that you came to this decision on your own, with no influences. If he loves you he will understand. If he still is insistant, then like one of the others here said, think of this as a glimpse of what it will be like in the future. There are more important issues that he should be thinking about, not the last name of the baby. It is really trivial in the grand scheme of things.

Good luck.

I'm a single mom and I gave my babies my last name every time. If their father and I get married, I'll just change their last names in court - no big deal. But I'll tell you, it has been easier on everyone with their last names being the same as mine. He can argue with you all he wants, but when it comes down to it, it's ultimately your decision. But think of it this way, when people make something or discover something (a new planet in space, build big buildings, a new invention or a new medicine or disease) they usually name the new "thing" after the person who founded/created it. You carried your baby for 9 months - you created the baby, I would name it after yourself if I were in your shoes!

Also, if you really wanted you could give the baby his last name, you don't have to be married to give the baby his last name. You can name the baby Elvis Prestly and the hospital won't care. Legality doesn't come in until it's time to sign the birth certificate. IF you're not married he doesn't have to sign it - but if he does, he's automatically considered the biological father and could be responsible for child support, etc. even if he disputes paternity later on.

Just giving you a run down - I've been a single mom for 10 years now - my youngest is 2.

Okay, if you're not married, you always want the children to have your last name...later on, if you get married, you can always change her name, its very easy. I went through this with my second child...she has my last name until I got married to my boyfriend, now she has his last name (which is now my married name)...life will be so much easier if you give her your last name for now. I have gone through a lot of things with my 3 children...hope it helps.

I am in a smellier situation i am engaged and he is in the army and our son was born right before he went to Iraq, and i explain that until we got married i did not want our son to have his last name because if i ended up raising him on my own it would make thing difficult if we had different last names, with school, medical ect... and he was reasonable and understood were i was coming from. i dont know if it will help or not.
J. M.

I had a some what similar situation. When we got married years ago, I kept my maiden name. So, when my daughter came around a few years ago, I wanted her to have both of our last names. So, we did just that. She has my husband's last name followed by my last name. There is no hyphen or anything, so that way she can legally use either name or both names. We have both last names on all of her legal documents including her Social Security card. It has worked very well for our family. Good luck!!!

I went through this twice with my now husband, then boyfriend. He wanted our children to have his last name and I said there was NO WAY I was going through life with my children having a deffernet last name then me. What if we broke up and he married someone else???? I would forever be explaining that I am the mother and not the women who has the same last name as my children!!!! I told him the best I would do it to hyphenate their last name. Which we did and I never regretted it. After we were married, we went to court and had their names changed. It was no big deal. I had so many people tell me that they wished they would have done what I did or just given the child their last name. No matter how great your relationship is, when you have children things change (married or not) and if things don't work out then atleast your child(ren) will have your last name. As far as the hospital...because we weren't married I had to sign an Affiddavit of Paternity. Basically stating that I was not falsely listing someone as the father.
Don't let him or anyone give you any BS about why the baby should have his name. It makes no differnece for insurance or any thing else. And if he tells you that traditionally the baby has it's fathers name, tell him that tradionally the parents are married! Good luck and don't be afraid to stand your ground. If this causes a big issue now, just take it as a preview of things to come.

When I got pregnant, I agreed that the baby could have the father's last name mostly because I believed that one day we would get married and then we would all have the same last name. Well, it didn't work out between us and now I wish I had given my son my last name instead. It's really your decision and in my opinion unless he is willing to marry you he doesn't get much say.

I personally because of MY culture as a hispanic woman thought twice on how to name my children and they have both last names but mine is the first. for example. i am M. bee & he is joe smith so my child is blank bee smith. It is legal to have two last names hyphenated. Most schools and goverment agencies including the social security office will allow the use of ONLY the first last name if you choose later to use only one last name. That way your BOTH happy initially and if you ever seperate as it happens often these days your children will continue with just your last name. I hope it helps. if it sounds confusing please email me again for details.

I believe that YOU have the ultimate say in what the baby is to be named. Unless you are married to the father, it is your right as a mother to choose the last name of your baby. If the last name will cause earth shattering problems, how is he expected to deal with the more important issues that will come as she gets older. Keep in mind, the baby's name can be changed. It can be costly, but if you were to get married to him, why not change the name then? Personally, unless he is willing to ask you to change your name (marriage) you may want to give her your last name. It is always better for the mother and child to have the same last name. Keeps life simple!
Best Wishes

why dont you give the baby both of your last names, hyphinate it ie Smith-Doe!
Trish

I agree with Lisa. I would keep things simple and give her your last name. If you get married change her name then. My sister did give her children her boyfriends last name and regret its. I can understand him wanting his daughter to have his last name though. You could always do both last names :)