29 answers

Husband "Friends" Ex Wife on Facebook

i am normally not the jealous type, and i have no fear that my husband wants to be with is ex wife. she hurt him terribly. he wasn't even going to accept the friend request, but his ex mother in law, who has remain a part of our lives, asked him to.

**EDIT* they have no children together. and i am not afraid or threatened by her, i just dont want her in my life, reading what we post, looking at our pics that we post, posting comments on our baby pics! she has not yet, because this just happened, but i don't even want it to be an option for her. i am not interested in having her in our life in an way shape or form!**
*EDIT** absolutely did not cheat on her with him!! they were divorced when i met him.**

i don't mind us going out to visit his ex-MIL, and his ex niece and nephew, whom she is raising, even though she insists on talking to me about his ex wife. it is not their fault that he is no longer a part of their family, and they adore him. so we visit them, he helps her around the farm sometimes, we have invited his ex-nephew to work with him some this summer, we visit them on the kids birthdays, and they are getting to know our daughter.
is this not enough?
am i over reacting?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Since they don't have children together it is weird.

I'm FB "friends" with my ex but we have a child together. That's a different situation imho.

I don't blame you for being put off by this.

2 moms found this helpful

Thats right , you can change the account settings so she can not comment on anything. or look at any or SOME pics... But I have to say, Its a weired situation you have!!!!

i don't think you're being the jealous type here. you sound like a sensible, pleasant, confident person, and it's so cool that you recognize how much his ex's family loves him and don't get in the way of it.
friending her on FB is too much, though. FB is a silly world and shouldn't be given too much weight, but i'd be uncomfortable with this. and since you've been very relaxed and accommodating, he shouldn't hesitate one instant before deleting her to accommodate you.
khairete
S.

More Answers

I have some of my own family members I won't even "friend" on FB. I don't want to associate with them in person, and I sure don't want to associate with them on FB.

4 moms found this helpful

Wondering why he would put his ex-MIL's feelings over yours...not cool.

3 moms found this helpful

OMG, no, you are NOT overreacting! You are much more generous and patient and understnding about this situation than I would be. For me, this would be a dealbreaker. I would tell my husband to pack his bags and remarry her!!! Seriously, THEY HAVE NO KIDS TOGETHER, so there is no reason for them to ever keep in touch ever again, let alone be FB friends. No, no, no, that is very inappropriate! It doesn't matter if his ex MIL or ex niece/nephews still likes/loves him. He is out of their life now and has created a life with you! Instead of hanging out with his ex family, why don't you guys try hanging out with your current families? Best wishes.

2 moms found this helpful

Since they don't have children together it is weird.

I'm FB "friends" with my ex but we have a child together. That's a different situation imho.

I don't blame you for being put off by this.

2 moms found this helpful

Did the ex have his child? If not, it is weird and inappropriate. Plus it is disrespectful to your marriage. YOUR HUSBAND needs to set boundaries with the exMIL. No talking about the ex in front of you. Usually divorce includes extended family unless the couple had a child together.

2 moms found this helpful

If you're not comfortable with it, he should "unfriend" her. Period. YOU are his wife now, he needs to respect your feelings on this. Facebook can be great, but it also allows people into your lives and may give access to things, pictures etc that you don't want certain people seeing.
I personally wouldnt like it, unless they had been friends before and there was already a good repor between them that you were already comfortable with.

2 moms found this helpful

if he friends her (to make ex MIL happy) just change his account settings. you can change almost anything to make certain people not see a thing. You go to privacy I think. anyway, you can basically set is so all friends except her will see pictures he posts, or any wall posts he makes. this way, no ones feelings get hurt. he accepts the request. but to make you happy, she doesn't have to see everything that yall post on his wall, etc.

1 mom found this helpful

Does your DH have kids with her? If so you are rather tied to her with communication. That being said if she has to communicate it should be done via phone, email or text and not FB. My DH's ex (no children) wanted to friend him on FB...I said remove her and he did...There really is no reason for them to be connected on FB..That's the approach you should take with him...

1 mom found this helpful

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