Friending Spouse on Face Book

My hubby is not on FB...the grammar errors alone drive him nuts. But he has complete access to my account and he peruses it regularly. Partially to keep up with friends and family and partially because I get updates from some businesses he deals with. I would never ever put ANYTHING on FB that I wouldn't say to the world. It's not a place for secrets. I would absolutely friend him if he ever decided to get on FB.

My husband and I are "friends" on FB and indicate we're married to each other. For us it was a no brainer to friend each other especially since we already know everything about each other.

Well I admit, I didn't read all the responses but since neither one of us have anything to hide, yes we are each other's friends. Been together 23 years married almost 25.

Of course my husband is my friend on Facebook. I have nothing to hide from him... it would be a bit disheartening if I didn't want to be "friends" with him on there. The majority of our family and close friends are on Facebook, and I use it as a means to share photos of our son, our current pregnancy, and keep loved ones up-to-date on events. My husband loves watching the videos that I take of our son that I upload for family to see. Oftentimes, he wouldn't see them otherwise. My husband is my best friend in the entire world, I can't imagine keeping him off my Facebook page. If you're worried about your husband seeing specific posts, the privacy settings on Facebook are great. You can hide anything from specific people that you choose, but to me - if you're interested in keeping things from your husband, it signals a bigger problem.

why would you not friend your husband? i would think it was very odd if someone did not have their spouse as a friend.

Ah if my husband didn't friend me or want I would probably not him to be my husband.

My hubby is my friend on FB. It has totally worked to my advantage. Case in point: Last week I was craving a nestles crunch bar (I'm 30 weeks preggo) and he didn't want to go get one for me. So updated my status with something like "Hubby doesn't want to go get his preggo wife a Nestles Crunch bar. Feel free to message him your thoughts on this." Within 15 minutes, I was enjoying my crunch bar hahaha!!

In all seriousness, it doesn't bother me at all to have my hubby as a friend on FB. I think it would be strange to NOT have him as a friend on FB.

Of course I "friended" my husband -or he friended me (I can't remember who was on FB first). I don't know anyone who isn't FB friends with their spouse. We don't communicate through FB, but we have many friends in common and often comment on the same things. We also, of course, have many family members in common who we like to share the pictures we post of our children with and comment back and forth.

I think a marriage is much safer if social networking sites are "open book policied". Facebook is a virtual refuge for unhappy people looking for an sympathetic/empathatic ear. It is very, very easy to get caught up in emotional affairs, and I think you are better off being open from the get go. If you don't want him to know it...you shouldn't be posting it (nuff said).

My first thought is that if you can find a reason NOT to friend him, then there must be something to hide. If you already tell him everything, then why not friend him?

Hi,

I have my husband as a friend on FB. It really is no big deal. You will probably find you end up with a lot of the same friends, too. Just be careful when using facebook to edit your setting for privacy or you could be letting the entire world see your photos and know your business.

why NOT friend him?? My husband and I are "friends" on FB...I sure don't care that he sees anything that I say...and I assume he feels the same about me.
Personally I would be upset and offended if my husband didn't want to let me see his FB page.

Why wouldn't I have him as a friend on FB...aren't we friends? lol.
For me it's not a big deal, we have 50+ people that our on both of our pages as "mutual friends" (friends and family).
I even have my status as "In a relationship with <my SO's name>".
For me it's not a big deal, but to each their own. =)

I certainly hope that you are comfortable enough to 'friend' your hubby on facebook! You are supposed to be best friends right? I too would be offended if my hubby didn't want to be my friend on facebook and even though the only time we write to each other on facebook is to make funny comments, I'm proud to list my awesome man as my 'married to' person.

It should never be used as a means of communication for you two, nor should you ever post when he (and or you or both) is not home, like on a business trip or vacation. People have had their houses broken into because they announced to everyone that they weren't home for a week. Duh!

And like Pamela said, be sure to check your privacy settings so that only friends (NOT friends of friends) can see your pictures and profile details. Think of the amount of people who are 'friends of friends' - it's mind-boggling! If you have 100 friends, each of those friends probably has at least 100 friends - that's 10,000 people - at least, and most of whom you do not know! Scary!

My husband and I are an open book - we are friends on facebook and have each other's passwords to everything. We have our privacy, but we are also accountable to each other so that we do not fall into the trap that so many do with affairs. Friend your husband, no question.

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I friended my husband on facebook and also identified as such. In all honesty, we never interact on it together but if I comment on my niece's birthday, for example, it's nice that he can second the birthday wishes. It's all just fun and keeping in touch with relatives and mutual friends for both of us. Most of our conversations are face-to-face, as they should be.

My husband and I both are on fb but we are not on each other's friends list. I have a running joke on this:
He's my husband not my friend and we poke each other every now and then. lol!
C.

I think you sould definately friend him. No secrets! If there is something you are worried about him seeing then it should no be on FB. I agree with Shelly and say that we have each others passwords and everything. We trust each other completely and have no reason to not. Along with we also have accountability and complete transparency.

Of course...nothing to hide and I am proud of my connection with him on there!

I am friends with my husband on facebook. Not a big deal. I post way more than he does,.

Just ask him if he wants you to friend him.. let him you are good either way..

I know couples that are not friends on facebook, but have common friends so they sometimes see each other posting on the other persons page.

My husband also refuses to be on FB-he has too many ppl that would want to reconnect that he would rather not reconnect w/.
Heehee...he likes being in hiding. :)

Of course if he were on FB we'd be friends.

But I responded to your Q to tell you that ALL of my friends/family that have spouses on FB are friends w/ them.

Most people I know, myself including, friend their significant other. If there is something you don't want your husband to know about, you shouldn't put it on FB. FB is a great place for gossip, so he WILL find out if you put something on there you don't want him to see.

Well, I am not friends with my husband on FB because he doesn't want an account at all. He looks at mine all the time, I don't care. He can see pics of family/friends that pop up from time to time... or find out that his sister isn't feeling well, or whatever. But he doesn't want to be "involved" with it, lol.

You can always "friend" him but turn your settings so that his status updates don't show up in your news feed, and he can set his so that yours don't show up in his, if you want to. Then you are "friends", but not seeing every single thing that posts, unless you want to go look. :)

Of course be friends with your hubby on facebook! It's a great way to show the world your love... when my guy's at work, I leave little notes on his wall, letting him know I miss him, what a great guy he is, and how much I love him!

It's common to see couples "friends" on FB. My husband and I are, I can tag pictures of him, and leave comments on his posts (I post much more than he does). And why not let everyone else know you're his wife!

I have my husband on mine... once he finally broke down and started a profile.

Thats a good question. My hubby doesnt get online and doesnt want a fb account. If he did have one I'm sure I would scour over it once in awhile to see what he was yackin about. If you can handle it, then go for it. If you are going to get obsessed with what he's doing on it and make it no longer fun for yourself, don't friend him. My sil's and bil's have facebook accts and they dont mess with each other on them... it's all about maturity and respect basically.

I'm friends with mine. There is an area where you list your family on it, and he's listed on it.

how would you feel if he questioned adding you?

Facebook isn't really a place to hide things or talk "confidentially". He will know everything he wants to know about your Facebook activity as will anyone else connected to you and if you don't have the security set high enough, friends of friends can find out what you're up to also....

Does he get on FB often? My husband is my "friend" on FB, but he rarely ever gets on. I say go for it...if you have nothing to hide (and I am not saying that you do), why not? One of the best features is that you can delete any comment of yours or his if you find it uncomfortable/embarrassing! And if he comments embarrassing comments too often, you can delete him! ;) Only my personal opinion. Good luck with your decision!

I'm friends with mine, a few ex boyfriends too and he knows. He is also friends with some of his exs too.

No biggie

S.

Well my hubs computer desk is right next to mine so not being friends wouldn't prevent us being in each other's mix! Yeah, we are friends, it wouldn't matter either way, I know all his passwords, so I could always snoop if I wanted to!! I honestly would never have considered not being FB friends.

I just want to add that beware.....when you sign on for FB, any and all pictures and posts (and posts that are 'deleted' are really just hidden-not gone!) are property of FB and in using that social network, you give them access to use any thing you post should they want to. If they wanted to write a book of the worlds stupidest quotes or biggest drama's, they could make millions (more) and never be able to be sued. Be careful.

That said, friending your husband, in my opinion, is a must! My husband does not have an account, but he has my password and does use my account to see what all his 'non-privacy setting' friends are up to. If he opend an account, I would fully expect to be able to acess it should I want to, by being his friend AND having the password when/if I ask for it.

I am friends with mine. We are even listed as each others "married to".

~However my hubby had to get a profile for work, he is a programmer and was researching the whole online games like "Farmville" and such...he did NOT want one, they are SO not his style and he is NEVER on there.

My housband and I are friends. Theres nothing to think about. It indicates that we are married and of course I have his password. If he didnt want to befriend me on fb, I would think that he was up to something on there.

Several people seemed to indicate if you don't then you must have secrets. Well, I was reluctant to friend my SO or connect him to me not because I was trying to keep secrets from him but because I try to limit my personal information on the worldwide web in general. Just remember - whatever you post is archived, cached, stored somewhere for reference - EVERYTHING! And even if you hit the handy delete button, it only deletes it from your view - it's still archived, cached, stored, etc.

I use FB to keep up with friends and some family but I rarely post anything.

Also, for those who post everything, just know that several companies will require you to give them access to your FB account before they will hire you. They will look at what you post and what your friends post...

My husband doesn't have a FB page, he doesn't want one and I simply post for the both of us, but if he did we'd be friended. I think it's safe to say that everyone I know is friended with their spouse if they have a page.
Afterall, he is my friend in addition to being my husband.
It's a good way to connect when away for work. People check on lunch breaks and stuff all the time. I know my SIL posts pictures of my niece and my brother can see them while at work and he loves it.

Always, always, always friend your husband, always.

What a life-changing question. Thank you for contributing to the world in making us all think of whether to add our significant others on Facebook. Definitely got your priorities straight there.

We are not "friends" on FB but he disabled his FB a few days after setting it up. He didn't like it.

We do work together 24/7 with our company and everyone needs something to themselves. Gees... We have no secrets but we each need some private time. EVERYONE does.

We are friends on LinkedIn which is a business networking group with use with our company.

Just do what is right for you and your family!!

Did you know that Facebook is one of the leading causes of divorce?? It sounds silly but so many people are insecure about so many things. So many things can be taken out of context and words can be twisted around. A lot of times my friends and I do this for fun. A big one is that the intended meaning does not come across in text. (We have all seen that many times on here!!.) I think if you understand what you may come across then go for it. I'm not saying that anything bad is going on but sometimes our mind can play mean games on us.

My husband and I friended each other. We haven't run out of conversation material because of it.

Ok I didn't read the other posts, and I'm sure this is terrible but anyways. My husband has my login info, and he is my friend and is tagged as my husband, that being said, i set the default privacy settings for my posts so that my husband, father, grandma, aunt, uncle and younger brother can not see what I post. If it is something relevant to anything worth them knowing i click the button and then all my friends can read it, otherwise those I mentioned above can't see what I posted.

This actually isn't because I'm hiding anything, but there are times I update my status every 5 minutes, and there are times I complain about things, and there are times I may say something I don't want my grandma or much younger brother to hear me say, I don't think it's a big deal and my husband doesn't care.