How Do I Take His Pacifier Away

Updated on March 11, 2008
N.R. asks from Brooklyn, NY
31 answers

My son is 3 and is addicted to his pacifier. Does any-one knows how can i take it from him? Evry-time i do he starts to cry cause its the only way he'll fall asleep.

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F.H.

answers from New York on

I had the same problem as you. My oldest son was addicted to his pacifier. What I did was I took him to Build A Bear, and let him pick out whatever animal he wanted to stuff. When it came to stuffing him with the stuffing, we put in the stuffing, the little hearts and all his pacifiers. The woman at the shop look at me like I was nuts, but my son never asked for the pacifier again. (I found this suggestion in one of my parenting magzines and thought that I would give it a try). Hope this helps.

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B.K.

answers from New York on

We did a ninny bug. We clipped the end of the pacifier and slowly made it smaller. hope that helps.

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L.C.

answers from New York on

If he only takes it at night to sleep, let him have it. My kids eventually gave it up. No one takes a pacifier to Kindergarten!

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E.L.

answers from Buffalo on

This idea came from our dentist and worked like a charm. Have the pacifier disappear and when your son asks for it everyone has to get up and start looking for it (truly looking but not succeeding). When your son goes to bed tell him you will keep looking for him and you will bring it in as soon as you find it. Do the same routine every time he asks for it. This way it is not your fault, you did not take it away, it is simply lost. Good luck.

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R.C.

answers from Albany on

I had the same problem with a newborn and a toddler. She kept taking the baby's pacifier. I took her pacifier and cut the bulb end leaving about a third of an inch. When she was ready for bed, I gave her the cut pacifier. She put it in her mouth and then looked at it. She threw it out and cried. I patiently gave it back to her. This continue for about 3/4 of an hour. She finally threw it out and went to sleep. She never took the baby's pacifier again and did not ask for one. I did this with my next 2 kids and my granddaughter. With patience and persistance on your part, it can work.

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P.J.

answers from New York on

My youngest was that way with his. It was surprising as my eldest had loved his too but nearly 6 months old to the day he took it, threw it out of the crib and wouldn't take it ever again. I used to try to give it to him as he would teeth so bad and not sleep when he stopped using it. The little one on the other hand was very attached to both nursing and his binky. It was hard to wean him of both at 3. With the binky I would try to get it all the way down to only at bedtime first. Then I have heard things like if it is Christmas time you can leave it under the tree for Santa and he will give a special present for it etc. As soon as he falls asleep remove it gently from his mouth and put it out of reach. If he wakes up he may sooth himself back to sleep, if not you will know where it is to give it back but out of site out of mind. My problem was that my son knew I was serious but he knew if he whined for it enough his father or grandmother would give it to him while I was at work. He sometimes would run to the door when I got home and realize it was in his mouth and quickly yank it out and hide it behind his back... best of luck. As hard as this was, this was far easier than potty training...

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L.T.

answers from Denver on

I just saw SuperNanny have a 3 year old give his passi's to the Passi Fairy. They put it in a special bag and then into the mail box in the morning the pasi was gone and there were fairy feathers and glitter all over. Also think telling kids it's for a new baby who needs it and giving them the choice to give it to a baby is great. Make it a game and "his idea".

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D.B.

answers from New York on

Jo Jo the supernanny did a cool thing with that last week. A 3 yr old, verry attached to his pacifier.. she made up this tale about the Paci Faerie, how they make her verrrrry happy when big boys send her their paci's and she leaves a gift for you... Then Jo Jo had a brown envelope and she asked him if he wanted to send the paci's to the faerrie and showed him the special envelope made out to her from him.. he put them all in the envelope...the next morning mommy reminded him about the paci faerrie and let him check the mail box, there was an envelope from her to him, decorated with glitter and stars... he opened it up and there were toys.. (in his case it was some toy animals or dinasaurs.) he was so excited... Jo Ho was talking about boys that age being facsinated if you add an element of magick to the task at hand. Hope this helps, I thought it sound really great.

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P.N.

answers from Glens Falls on

Why do you want to take it away? My son had his till he went to school and as his world became more interesting and full of others, he became less interested. The need to communicate became difficult with a pacifier.
In bed, he had it until he didn't need it. Emotional developement can't be rushed. Self comforting is a huge part of it. Don't worry. He will grow out of his need for it in good time. And don't be influenced by what others think.
Let him decide when he is ready.
:)

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Hi N.,
My daughter was addicted to the pacifier too. At about three we started the process of taking it away. We only allowed her to have at night and we threw out all but one. We talked (several long talks!)to her and told her that she was getting too big and it would be bad for her teeth. Finally, we took that last one and it was rough for about a week but not too bad. After that week it was like it had never been there. Out of sight, out of mind.

Good luck
S.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

hi,
i didn't try it with my son, he suddenly didn't want his pacifier on his own when he was 12 months, but i heard some tip from my friend and it sounds great! Cut a little tip of his pacifier and keep cutting every day or week (up to you) bigger and bigger whole, he still will have his pacifier but as much as you cut as less "fun" it will be to suck on it, and he should give it up on his own than!!! hope it will work! other tips, ask him to give it to some sad puppy, baby...santa...or he can buy something for it in the toy store (make some arrangement with shop assistant that your son would think he really bought new toy, clothes, etc. for his pacifier, he should be proud - but it sounded little materialistic to me, but hey every try is forth it! good luck

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V.D.

answers from New York on

My daughter really loved her "binky(ies)" she used to have to sleep with about 3 at a time... one in her mouth and one in each hand. In the middle of the night, she would wake and realize that "binky" was not in her mouth and if she couldn't find one near, she'd yell out until someone helped her find one... At around 2 1/2 yrs of age, she started chewing through them we saw this as a chance to start throwing them out and not replacing them. We told her that they have to be thrown in the garbage when they are bitten, and had her actually throw them out as this happened. When we got down to the last 2 or 3 we would emphasize that these are the last ones, be careful not to bite them, etc etc knowing that she would do the same thing anyway. Finally she bit through the last one and as with the others threw it in the garbage.
When reality set in (at the next bedtime) she did really mourn for "binky". It was sooo... difficult to see her go through this "loss", but my husband and I both felt it was necessary. The "grieving" lasted about 2 - 3 days and got less intense with each day.
My advice is whatever you decide, stick to it and get all caretakers to be on the same page. Our motto was "united we stand", although difficult for parents, it is better for the child when you are consistent. After all they need to start learning skills at some level which they can build on later in life to help them deal with difficult issues throughout their lives.

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B.L.

answers from New York on

Hi!
My daughter was the same way. We finally had to cut the tip off.....she managed to keep it in somehow, but eventually didn't want it anymore.
Good luck!

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G.W.

answers from New York on

My daughter had the same problem, and when she was 2 yrs old I decide to throw it away because it was becoming very unsanitary for her. I told her that it was very dirty and nasty and I let her see me throw it in the garbage. But then again every child is different, she took very well and every-time she would ask for it, I told her remember Mommy threw it away, and she eventually stop asking for it.

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L.A.

answers from New York on

I tried using santa as a way to take the pacifier away and also said that my friend's baby needed it. Both of these did not work. But then my aunt's husband who is a grandfather said to try cutting off the tip of the pacifier and every few days cut a little more of the nipple off. Both of his daughters did this with their children and it worked. I did it and with in one week he was off the pacifier right after he turned two. I suggested this to one of the parents at the day care I work for and it worked for them as well. Maybe this will work nfor you. Good luck.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

my mom tells the story that when she wanted me to be done with mine, she told me that our garbage man just had a baby and needed a pacifier for him. me and mom wrapped it up like a present and left it for him, worked great :)

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B.G.

answers from New York on

Do you know any small babies? You can pack up the pacifier in a box and have your son help wrap the "gift", then drop it off at the Baby's house. This has worked for my friends! Good luck!

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

I have had friends who used the Binky Fairy where she came and took it leaving a big boy present in its place and another person used Santa. Sorry...I know that one is a bit away for you but it worked best for them.

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S.C.

answers from New York on

The only way that I found that works is to take it away and stick to your guns. Back and forth only elongates the agony! Make a big deal out of giving them to your pediatrician, dentist, mail them somewhere and then that is it. You could say, once you mail them somewhere, you could mail a gift back to your son as a "Thank you" from the so-called little boy or girl that "got" all of the pacifiers with a little story about how much your BIG BOY son helped out this little baby and they will do the same once they are a big boy like him and don't need them anymore. But once it is done, don't look back!
Good luck.
S.

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D.C.

answers from New York on

When it was time for my son to give up his pacifier, his pediatrician suggested that I gradually cut little nicks in the sucking part, one at a time. He slowly began to realize that he wasn't getting as much pleasure from it as he used to, and it was easy to eventually take it away. It really worked and with no crying!

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J.S.

answers from Elmira on

Hello,
I had that problem when I was 3, my mom had tried everything, but I didn't want to give it up. So she asked me one day if I wanted to be a big girl, cuz big girls didn't use pacifiers. If I wanted to be a big girl and help with my brother than I needed to get rid of the pacifier. I did give it up and never needed it again.
So maybe you could get him to give it up by suggesting he can't do something until he's a big boy, and that means he has to start by getting rid of his pacifier.
Hope this helps, good luck.

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T.O.

answers from New York on

If he uses it during the day, stop with that and let him only have it to go to sleep. If he uses it to go to sleep go cold turkey. There is going to be crying no matter what you do. Just explain the situation that he is too old, will damage his teeth etc. With some extra reassurance he will get over it quickly.
T.

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E.B.

answers from New York on

My son was also addicted to his pacifier at 3, and I finally got it away from him at 3.5. He only used it to sleep, but didn't know how to fall asleep without it. We started by just talking it down--saying he didn't need it anymore, that he was a big kid now and binkies were for babies, etc, but we didn't take it away yet. We threw away all of his pacifiers except one. Then we started asking him him to just *try* to sleep without it at bedtime, and we would come back to check on him in 5 minutes. If he still wanted it, we would give it back. Then, just like sleep training a baby, we would wait longer to give it back. Eventually he started sleeping without it. Once he did, we never gave it back. It only took a week or two to get rid of it once we started trying for real.

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V.B.

answers from New York on

Mke it a game and make him throw it away himself. I did this with my sons. Explain that pacifiers are for babies and he's not a baby. After he throws it away take him to the store and let him pick up a new BIG BOY toy. He may cry for a night or two but it's over before you know it

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D.C.

answers from New York on

I did it gradually when my son was about a year old, like only letting him have it for naps or bedtime. After about a month of that, I just took all the pacifiers and hid them. It was a miserable 1-2 weeks, especially around bedtime but then he was fine. Lots of crying for it but he eventually learned other ways to fall asleep. I found that once you decide to get rid of the pacifier, you can't give in when they cry for it.

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

Gradually take it away during the day, and distract him when you do, so he doesn't notice. For example if he uses a clip to hold it to his shirt, take away when you change his clothes, or while you tickle him. That way he is less likely to hear the clip open. When he's free of it during the day, and only using it at night, talk to him about being a big boy. How big boys don't use binky's. "Daddy doesn't have a binky, Mommy doesn't have a binky, and big sister's don't have them either." Then have a big (it doesn't have to be huge for a 3 yr old) celebration, tie the binky to several balloons, and attach a note saying it's for another child who needs a binky more then him. It will be a rough few nights. You'll have to remind him that binky is gone, but it honestly shouldn't take more then 2-3 nights for him to get used to being without it.

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H.S.

answers from New York on

Hello N.,
Just let me start by saying your child is not abnormal. my son was 3+ before I took it away because he dis the same thing and I felt really guilty that I didn't do it before he was 1. I thought it ws my fault. Well as you know it's not going to be easy but it can be done. First thing I did was made sure I had a nice full day of physical activities planned. I wore him out. He was so tired that he passed out without it! He woke up looking for it, but I just slipped into his bed and laid next to him, rubbed his back and he went back to sleep. I also let him do things that my older son was allowed to do and told him that if he wanted to do these things then it meant being a big boy and not a baby and that only babies use "Nu-Nu's" or what ever you call it. I also would take him to the toy store and when he would ask for something, I said he'd have to pay for it with his "Nu-Nu" and once it's gone, it's gone. If there's someone in the family that is having a baby, tell him that the new baby is going to need it and let him 'give it to the new baby' so to speak. What ever you do, DON'T let him see you throw it in the trash, this could tramatize him. It totally screwed up my oldest one. He was so hurt. I was the enemy for MONTHS! Good luck and I hope this helps. Don't forget to get back to me and let me know how you made out.

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C.R.

answers from New York on

cut the top of the pacifier off or slit it the paci looses suction and then they get fustrated and toss it he may complain. can take amonth before it works.

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R.W.

answers from Rochester on

Hi N.,

A friend of mine did this when her daughter was really attached to the pacifier. Every other day, she snipped a little bit off the end. Her daughter noticed, but Mom was matter of fact about it, "Oh you wore it out" kind of response. Eventually, there was not much left and she gave it up on her own. Best of luck! But remember, your son will not walk down the aisle with a pacifier in his mouth. He will eventually get tired of it.

Warmly,

R.
Holistic Health Counselor, AADP

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N.S.

answers from New York on

Take it away and let him cry...

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hi,
No child wants to give the pacifier away. When it was time to take my daughters pacifier away I cut a hole in it. It will not feel correct when they suck on it and they will not want it.
Good Luck

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