Help with Night Time

This might sound corny, but it worked with my now 5-yr. old when he was younger - we gave him one of my nightshirts to sleep with. I would sleep in it the night before and give it to him the next night. It actually worked. Maybe you could try the shirt thing when she's in her exersaucer and you're doing the dishes?

Hi A.! I am a mother of a 2 year old. Ideally, yes, it is easier to start them off young in their own bed. Well, so mcuh for that. This is what I did with Lily, thoguh she was young, it will still work. I think teh biggest thing we all need to rememebr is consistency, always. SO, why not start out here and there with a nap in his own bed, even after he has gobne to sleep in your arms. Slowly have him spend more time in his own bed, his own room. Come up with a routine. Our routine is jammies, vitamins, teeth, gathering stuffed ones to sleep with, and i give her ice water in a sippy.(Eliminates the midnight wake up thirstiness) Every night, it has to be consistent. Your routine could be different, but as long as it is the same routine every night, same time every night. That is the best way I think to introduce anything new with kids. Yes they cry at first, but they learn to get themselves to sleep. Sometimes I will sing to her as well if it is a particularly hard night.Try it, hope this helps!
H.-mother of one

I have to say that I support co-sleeping....In other countries it is totally acceptable. I think it is a shame that we as a society think it to be negative. He obviously feels safe with you. I would be a bit concerned if he is "bragging". I would focus on the Big Boys Room and make it his decision. If it is causing tension between you and your husband than you obviously need to encourage him to sleep in their room. Keep a positive attitude and make him feel lucky to have a brother to share a room with. I have a 16 year old daughter and although she doesnt sleep with me on a regular basis....when she and I went to Hawaii during my pregnancy she wanted to sleep with me. You will treasure the memories you are making. They grow up way too fast....Enjoy!!!
A little about me: I have a 16 yo girl and we have a 5 mo old son. We have been married a litle over a year.

I would ask for more help and encouragement from your oldest child. Make it a fun thing at first (like a sleep over). Make popcorn and a movie and have the older boys really help you encourage the little guy to "become one of the big boys". Make sure your husband is ready to help and ready to get him out of your bed. You have to make this a family thing especially if he will be in the room with the other boys. Good Luck!

A.
YOU WERE RIGHT NOT TO WANT YOUR SON IN YOUR BED!!! NOW SLOWLY MOVE HIM OUT. FOR A FEW NIGHTS LET HIM SLEEP ON THE FLOOR THEN START MOVING HIM FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY. IF HE WAKES UP AND GETS BACK INTO BED WITH YOU PUT HIM BACK WHERE HE STARTED. MAYBE TRY A REWARD WHEN HE CAN SLEEP IN HIS OWN BED. I GOT MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THE CRIB AND INTO A BIG GIRL BED WITH A SPECIAL DORA BLANKET. ALSO ENCOURAGE THE BIG BOY TO SLEEP IN HIS OWN BED. TELL HIM THAT IF HE NEEDS ANYTHING YOU WILL BE RIGHT DOWN THE HALL OR WHERE EVER!!
GOODLUCK-A.

I'm a fairly new mom and I get more advise from this site than I give but this one I've got. My first son slept in our bed from the day we brought him home from the hospital. When he was a little over a year old I got pregnant again and I was terrified that we were going to end up with 4 people in our queen size bed. What we ended up doing took a while but did work. We put a matress on the ground and when it was bed time one of us would go in and lay down with him until he was asleep. After a couple of months we just sat next to his bed and slowly moved to the door. There were still some nights that seemed to take forever but we stuck with it. That was about a year ago and about 2 months ago he started staying in his bed all by himself. We got through the bed time routine, put him in his bed kiss him goodnight and walk out. Sometimes there are a few tears but for the most part he "goes to sleep like a big boy" I'm sure your timing will be different. He made this transition at the same time as becoming a big brother, I imagine that made it a little harder for him. Now we have two boys that both sleep in their own bed. Good Luck.

I had the same problem with my daughter. (she's now 10)
we put a camping cot in HER room next to her bed and told her that one of us - mom or dad- would only stay in her room til she fell asleep, then go to our OWN room and she would see us in the morning. It took afew days of me and dad waiting her out on the cot......sometime US falling asleep before her...but it worked for us....
I don't know if this will help. GOOD LUCK and I hope you get your bed back soon!
:)
M.

Hi A.,

I think the advice you have been given so far is great. I would also like to add, it takes about 14 days in a row to change a habit. I hope you take the advice of the other moms and make this a family matter. I would use the calendar and promote the stickers. I think the thing that makes it completed though is to do sleep in own bed for 14 nights in a row and then reward the whole family. I would place a sticker on the calendar each night he sleeps in his own bed all night. That would include, trying to come back to your bed, placing him back in his own bed but remaining in his own bed. However the most important part of these steps is consistancy. If he sleeps in his bed for 10 nights, gets sick and you allow him in your bed for a night or 2. Then the 14 days needs to be started over. The big family reward would not be given until the 14 nights in a row is completed. This not only rewards the big boy"2" and the older brothers when the challenge is completed. I would ask the older boys for suggestions on the reward. It does not need to be expensive. A family picnic,trip to the library...ect You may even pick some options and offer thoses as suggestions.
If you want your freedom but don't want to say ...you can never sleep with us again. Maybe you could set up 1X month to allow this treat. Ofcourse you would want to discuss this with your husband first.

I also NEVER!!!!!! slept with my first born. I just did not believe in it. Then when I had my second child my views changed, or I just needed more sleep. Doesn't matter why, just that I was willing to change. She is now 8 and still loves to sleep with mom. So I treat her, when her older sister has friends overnight, she may sleep with me. Then there is the given, when she is sick, I let her sleep with me. I would not let this special time happen until the night time bed routine has been firmly established. It's amazing how many tummyaches she started to "develope" once she caught on...If I am sick, MOM will let me sleep with her.
Good luck and try not to look at it as, I gave something to one child but not the others. I doubt your first 2 children were damaged in any way or form just because you did not them sleep with you.
H. B.

A.:
With our daughter...who is 3.5, when she was 2-3 we had the same issue. My husband was usually the "softie" that gave in to having her sleep with us and I wanted her in her own bed for space and our intimate time. She has not always wanted to sleep with us. She slept in her own crib/bed up until she was 2. Then, she started wanting us to be nearer. My husband still puts a pillow & small blanket on the floor in case she gets scared, she can come & sleep on our bedroom floor...but not in our bed again.
First of all...as parents you need to be on the same page of where he is going to sleep. Have a heart to heart conversation with your husband. If he is adament that the child still sleep in your bed, then express lovingly why you feel differently. You need to agree on what to do so you your child doesn't get mixed messages. Plus, if starts to sleep in his bed & daddy watches him one night and puts him to bed in "Mommy & Daddys" bed, it will be harder for everyone. If your husband agrees that he needs to transition, then I would take the following steps:
Ease into this. Let him know exactly what you expect and what is going to happen at bedtime. Something like, "Joey, we think you are ready for your Big Boy bed like brother's have, so starting tomorrow, we are going to start working on getting you there. Tonight will be one of the last times you get to sleep with Mommy & Daddy. Your friend can snuggle with you from now on (favorite stuffed animal or have him go with you to the store to buy a new one). Some other things that might help is to have him come with you to pick out sheets & the blankets that will be used in his "NEW" Big Boy bed (either ones you already have or go to the store). He needs to feel like he is a part of the decision. Make sure he has tools for nighttime/bedtime: a flashlight, favorite blanket or stuffed animal, favorite book or soft music. Being afraid of the dark is commom at this age. If putting him "Cold" into a bed by himself seems to not work...then I would start with a bed on the floor of your bedroom and slowly go down the hallway until you get him into his room. I haven't tried this, but I have heard it works for other people. The other thing is to stay with him for a period of time by his bed-doing a bedtime activity...give him a back massage, sing to him or read a story and have him lay in his bed. I have also heard of giving your child a bedtime pass that is a piece of paper with Hug, Kiss, Drink etc. and the child takes it with them to bed. If they need to see you one more time, they can bring the pass in for an exchange of kiss, hug, drink etc. Pretty soon, they won't need the pass anymore..but they feel the security of knowing it is there. Talk positively about bedtime and sleeping and this transition should go smoother.I hope some of this advice helps.

Take Care,
K.

A.-

I would make a plan to address this as a family unit. Since you have 2 other children that are older they can be an important part of encouraging the youngest to sleep on his own in "his very own big boy bed". I would put a plan together, make sure your husband is on board and start it on a Friday so you have several nights over the weekend to fight the big battles at the beginning.

I would move the oldest to his own room, and let the youngest share a room with the middle child. You may have to put a baby gate across the door to the room to help. I would also make a chart to hang on the wall with a row for each child with each day of the week. Your older two could get stickers or small toys each day they encourage and help the youngest sleep in his own bed and the youngest could get stickers or a small toy for each night he slept in his own bed the entire night.

I would make a big deal of it when the other two children encouraged or helped the youngest sleep in his own bed and also make a big deal when the youngest made it a whole night in his own room and bed. That way no child feels left out and the whole family is giving positive attention for positive behavior. And everyone learns an important lesson too; that your family is a team, works together, and supports each other. That way everyone gets something positive from the experience.