"Getting My Son to Sleep in His Own Room"

Watch "Super Nanny" Put the kid in his own bed, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight, and leave. The first couple of times he gets up you usher him back to bed and say good night. After that you just keep putting him back to bed without a word. the first night or two will take several attempts but be strong a don't give up. It will eventually work.

A friend of mine is having this problem with her five year old. They made a deal with Kennedy that if she sleeps in her bed for five nights in a row they'll go on a family trip. The five nights were up last night, so we'll see if she continues the habit.

I think your going to have to get tough. When he comes out of his room take him back (don't interact with him, no speaking - you've already said your goodnights) - this can be exhausting for you. You could also try a reward chart as well for him staying in his room and his own bed.

I have gone through this same thing 4 times. Get tough - stick to your bedtime routine - reward the good behaviour.

With one of my sons we ended up putting a stair gate across his door so he couldn't get out of the room. There were tears for a few nights, but he got used to it. And we actually found him asleep on the floor next to gate a couple of times, but he eventually found his way to his bed (took about 10 days) and we took away the gate.

Remember you are trying to create a new habit - it takes time.

Good luck.

does your son sleep with you or in a toddler bed? put a toddler bes n your room get him use to that. then let him get used to that then move him to his room if he wakes up let him sleep in the toddler bed in your room keep up the routine you will get there

Try this, it worked when our daughter went through this:

Tell your son that once he sleeps in his own bed for 2 nights in a row then he will be allowed to sleep with you for 1 night. If he refuses and keeps coming in your room, the only choice he has is to sleep on the floor of your room and that it doesn't count towards one of his nights in his own bed and that he won't get to sleep with you his 1 night as promised. Encourage him to sleep in his own bed, but allow him to make the choice. Continue to encourage him, however, when he choose to sleep in your room only allow him to do so on the floor until he earns the priviledge by sleeping in his own bed 2 nights in a row. Once he has slept in his own bed for 2 nights in a row then make a huge deal of it and allow him to sleep with you for 1 night. After he masters the 2 nights in a row then explain that he is such a big boy that now it is time to sleep 3 (or 4) nights in a row before sleeping with mom and dad.

Hope this works for you as well as it worked for us. Our daughters are now 14, 16 and 21 and are wonderful young ladies.

L., the only way to work this out that seems to have the best results is you being firm and consistent. Put him in bed after a normal regular routine, tell him I love you and seee you in the morning, then close the door. If he gets out of bed, keep taking him back to bed and telling him this is your bed where you sleep, it's time for bed, mommy will be in her bed, and you will be ok. After the third time, dont even say anything, just take him back to bed. This may go on 20 times, but eventually he will give up. I suggest doing this on a night you don't have to work the next day. It may take several nights, but he will get the routine. Whatever you do do not cave in. If his problem is that he is afraid, teach him to pray for God to keep him safe, and God will give him angels to keep him safe. Show him this in Psalm 91 and Matthew 18:10. Do not teach him about monsters and false methods of keeping them away. I'm so happy you and your family are being restored. Get in the word of God together and grow in a church and you will make it. D., mother of two.

When my son was born he had a medical condition that required very close supervision while sleeping. He slept on my chest for 4 months! Then he slept in a bassinett next to me and I rested my hand on him so he knew I was still there with him. I kept moving him a little further away. When it was time for him to move to his own room (he was about 2 1/2yrs old), we came up with a bedtime routine of brushing our teeth, reading a book, saying our prayers, and closing our eyes together. He always wanted me to lay down with him, so I did. He fell asleep, and I'd kiss him goodnight and leave the room. When he slept in his room I would make a big deal about how big he was getting. It didn't matter if it was only 2 hours at a time. I would bring him back to his room and lay down for just a little longer. After a while, when he would fall asleep faster in his own bed, I would just stay with him next to his bed, not on it. It was just a matter of getting him comfortable in his own space.

go to an animal shelter or call your local humane society and find a dog or cat that comes from an environment that will work with your family (housebroken, doesn't chew stuff, not aggressive, good with children, etc)Then you assign the sleeping arrangments for the new family member to the new racecar bed with your son.
A little gentle encouragment here. You have to start thinking of setting the ground rules and expecting them to be followed as the parents. Yes it feels awful sometimes but these are the struggles in life that are paramount to adhere to and swallow because if you don't establish the line of authority NOW, you can kiss it goodbye for anything else as he gets older. And it gets more difficult but they realize they got by with something by crying or temper tantrums etc.
You can ask why he won't sleep in his lovely new bedroom, and WAIT and listen and HEAR what he says. Wait a moment to digest his anwser and then respond with, I see, well you are getting big now and all the things you want to do as a big boy come with other things that are part of growing up, that includes sleeping in your own room. If you are not big enough to do that yet then you are not big enough to do.... the computer, ride a bike etc. Whatever he is learning to do. The theory is as they grow, they have to accept ALL the parts of the age group they are entering, they can not be selective. Like a teenager who thinks they are ready to move out on their own, the answer is fine, but you do so on your own. It doesn't come with the family car, or the furniture from the house or money from mom and dad. Why? because you are teaching them nothing if you don't teach them the whole package of each stage in life. And when they get out there on their own there are no breaks and the strugle is tremendous and that's usually when most young people suffer.
Yes they will be angry with you (for a while) but YOU are the teacher, you are the parent and you cannot turn the clock back to re-teach. The best time to learn each phase in life is at the moment it takes place and no sugar coating. That way YOU are there teaching the correct way and guiding. You will send out a very capable person into the world instead of someone who is dependant and needy.
Put a night ligth in the room, leave a radio playing soft classic music, (no TV)and tell him he will be fine.
You also should consider putting him to bed before you and your husband retire so this doesn't have to even be an issue. Then the issue is that it is HIS bed time and mommy and daddy will go to bed after thier work is done. End of story. Be persistant and firm and loving, it's a matter of who has more tenacity. You'll do fine. JF

Make a nightly ritual . . .

One of us used to go lay in bed with my son. Read a book, talk, etc. until he got sleepy &/or fell asleep. Just being with them is the comfort. Once they are asleep they'll be asleep for a little while and you have your "alone time." Let him know that he's getting to be a big boy and should sleep in his own bed BUT if he wakes up and is scared he is welcome to come get in bed with you.

Our rooms are on opposite ends of the house, so we leave the living room light on, it has a dimmer switch, so that he can make it safely to our room.

Once he gets used to this the transition to his OWN BED will be easier and you will ALL be sleeping better!

I would tell him big boys sleep in their own beds, and then volunteer to lay down on the floor next to him for a while. Each night shorted the time. I don't advise sleeping with him because he may stir when you get up to leave. Then you can say, I need to go check on something...but I will be back to check on you. Take your time. He will get used to it. Just be firm.

Definately take him back to his bed everytime he gets up. If you allow him in bed with you every once in a while, he'll keep getting up which means he's not sleeping well, and that's not healthy. Make friendly, safe remarks about all the fun boy stuff in his room after you turn out the lights so he associates good things with his dark room. I always turn out the light and Then sit with my daughter and sing, talk and then pray. Then she's used to the dark, I kiss and hug her, tuck her in and walk out of the room slowly, turning to say goodnight, I love you, I'll see you in the morning. But you do have to be firm. The habit will break, but it will be hard. You'll make it.

I have had this problem quite frequently in the past year(my son will be 5 on May 20). We did the EXACT same thing as you, favorite sheets, bed spreads and even night lights. What is(has been) working for us is just explaining to him before bed where all of the night lights are that lead to our bedroom if he gets scared, we have added some night time music at bedtime and allowing him to sleep with one toy. Also, we have found that we just CAN NOT GIVE IN to allowing him to sleep elsewhere...EXCEPT on his special night, which is FRIDAY night, he is allowed on that night alone to sleep on the couch and watch a movie. It makes Fridays special to him. He usually crys and throws a bit of a fit every now and then about sleeping in his bed, but we have learned to just be strick and consistant, that his bed is HIS BED and that is where he sleeps. You have to be firm and you really cant give in. Say a prayer with him so he knows he is safe and show that you care, but if you give in sometimes, he will probably not quit.
Good Luck!

We have a 2 1/2 year old son and went through the same thing. We tried everything. Finally a friend of mine told us we needed a consistent routine so he knew what to expect and he had to know that this is his room and this is mommy and daddy's room. When he still wouldn't stay in his room I spoke with our doctor who bluntly said if we didn't get him out now it would be a lot harder to get a 10 year old out. The only thing that worked for us is having a pretty consistent routine, let him know we love him more than he could imagine, and go to our room and lock our door. We of course made sure he was safe by putting up gates and things like that but we had to reclaim our bed for our own sanity. Hope this helps. We will be praying for you all.

I don't have any ideas - but if you get any, I'd sure like to hear them. My son just turned 5 and won't sleep in his own room, either. He slept in his own room until we moved to where we live now - 2 years & 3 months ago. The only time he's slept in his room has been on Christmas Eve night for the past 2 years.

So do I understand your question correctly that your son has been sleeping in your bed for the last 4 years??? If so he is NOT going to be easy to sleep in his bed. He has gotten use to sleeping with you. My daughter in law & son have made the same mistake of letting their 2 year old sleep with them.She told me she would not make the same mistake again. These KIDS are SMART. My grandson will sleep in a crib with no problems at day care but wont at home. He KNOWS what he can get away with. LOL Im telling you these kids are genius's. It will take perversence to get your son to sleep in his bed. You may lose some sleep over it but if you truely want him to sleep in his bed it will take some determination & strength on your part. Good luck.

He's been sleeping in your bed all this time and the sudden change is likely hard for him. I went through this with my son. He had never slept in my bed until I separated and moved with him to a large city. He was 5 then. After a year, I realized he needed to be in his own bed and wouldn't go. Here's what we did. By the way, this took several weeks.

I told him that he couldn't sleep in the bed with me but he could sleep next to the bed. We made a pallet on the floor next to my bed and he slept there. After a couple of weeks, we moved the pallet to the end of my bed. When he adjusted there, we moved it to the doorway. You get the picture? We kept moving him toward his room until the pallet was on his bed. He has slept in his bed ever since.

This is what we did when my son was 3... It may or may not help.... We put a small tv and dvd player in his room for him to watch at bedtime!!! Usually by the time the movie ended... He was asleep. After getting him used to being in his own room... It was pretty easy at bed time... He is now 8 years old and he hasn't slept in our bed in years unless he was sick! Also... Routine/schedule is a major must. Bathtime(to help him relax)then we would watch a few minutes of the movie with him... We didn't really coax him into getting under covers... Eventually we would leave the room... And after he fell asleep... We went in and pulled the covers over him and turned off the tv/dvd!!! Sometimes i felt bad for tricking him into getting in his bed... But i don't even regret it! I fianlly get a full night's rest without knees and elbow's in my way... Oh... The best thing i can tell you about the next child...don't even put them in your bed... Just put their bed in your room until you feel comfortable... Then use a baby monitor because once it's started... It's hard to break it!