Have You Ever Had to Tell Someone They Had B.O.?

You should really go through HR for this. They are better equipped to handle it. You have no idea what could be the underlying factor to it, and he could have a medical disorder. We handle this at work all the time, and it is difficult and very uncomfortable, but you need someone who can handle it the proper way.

We had someone with this problem and you would not think it was a medical problem, but she actually had a note from her Dr that it was and we worked with her to make it better, but you just never know what is going on.

A.:

Yes. I have had to tell a former co-worker he had B.O. He had come into the office and people scattered out of the main room - he looked around and said what??? I said - "Bill - sorry. But you smell really bad. I know that is hard to hear, but you smell. You need to take a shower. And wash your clothes."

He looked dumbfounded. He actually went home - came back the next day with a hair cut and clean clothes. It took him a while - to get into the habit - but he noticed that people worked better with him and he liked his job better when he took better care of himself.

It's tough. Sometimes they don't know. Can't smell it or have never had anyone say something. It was uncomfortable talking with him - but everyone scattered and I was the one left in the room! :0

My husband's uncle immigrated to the US in the late 1970s. After 1 year of working in a laboratory, side by side with a professor, his professor finally told him one day. "You know, in this country people shower every day before they go to work or school." It seemed harsh at the time, but he was very grateful for having been clued in that he had an offensive odor. He heeded the advice and he and his professor became best friends. This uncle is now a top executive at a pharmaceutical company, and travels all over the world building relationships with other pharma companies. He always jokes that his stench could have held him back if it weren't for that one comment.

Yes!~

It was a coworker. Very, very nice woman, but very defensive.

She and her family did not have much money. They lived on the edge of survival. But. we worked at a very high end specialty store Our clients were clients with money.. BO, was not something that helps a salesperson sell luxury accessories and clothing. We worked on commission. We had clientele books, so we kept up with our clients.

We worked around a large counter. So when we were behind the counter, her BO was awful..

We noticed her clients started coming in on her days off. When this happens, she did not receive credit for their purchases.

Being in central Texas, even with excellent air conditioning.. the humidity, is something we are always dealing with.

The manager of our dept was her best friend and so she really felt like she could not speak with this woman.... I know not professional.. Personnel told us our dept needed to be the ones to approach her first.

And so, I was the one that decided to approach this woman. I just could not stand it another day.

I took her for a break, I mentioned the problem and asked how we could help. She was mortified, furious and embarrassed. She told me all about her financial situation and also said she was allergic to the typical deodorant. She said she could not afford the Hypo allergenic deodorant. And so we took up a collection and purchased her a few bottles.

She had trouble just paying the rent. Feeding her children and getting them to school was what they mainly focused on..They could not afford their gas bill, their electricity, o phone. They were using extension cords with their neighbors. they pooled money to help pay their electric bill. ... Washing clothing, her deodorant... etc,, was one of the last priorities.. All of this was done very sparingly..

It was not fun, it was not easy, but it "cleared the air".. No pun intended..

Someone needs to speak with this man.Personnel or the manager should be the first to approach him.. If not then someone needs to get permission to approach him.. Have HIM come up with a solution..

oh, this is just the most difficult situation!
something has to be said. the guy almost certainly has no idea that he is offensive, because almost no one will be upfront with others about such a delicate situation.
but someone needs to.
i have a family member whose SO was like this. insanely macho, bathing everyone in the vicinity in his man-musk. he didn't listen to her pleas for him to shower more, and one day she got a call from the gym. she told them she was done asking him, and if they had a problem with him, he was their problem.
apparently they did have the conversation, because he came home the next day and said he was thinking of switching gyms. but by the end of the week he was showering more.
someone has to man up and have a kind but frank conversation with him. and it has to be someone thick-skinned enough to realize it may not be well-received and to be okay with some initial anger.
maybe everyone in the office needs to draw straws.
khairete
S.

Go through HR. I actually was the recipient of this issue in my 20's. I went through a very stressful time and not sure what happened, but it became an issue. A co-worker told me gently and I addressed it. If the company is big enough, let HR know. But if someone has to do it, approach it from an "I hope things are ok. I was worried because..." because you never know what's going on (stress, medication, income issues, etc.).

Good luck!

I worked in an office and we were in that situation.
Great guy.
Great skills.
They weren't going tower him permanent if the issue wasn't resolved.
It is the place of his direct supervisor to do it.
In our situation, she used the good-good-bad approach.
Like: your work is exemplary and everyone likes you as a person--you fit in well. However, several people (no names!) have noticed an odor..."

Guess what? This guy THANKED her. He had no idea! His WIFE was t laundering his clothing properly.
Problem fixed.
Still a great employee!

Someone would be doing him a favor if they did tell him - with great kindness. It's like walking around with your fly open and no one telling you. If there's something that cannot be prevented then there's no use in telling them. But if the person can do a few things to prevent it you'd be a good person to tell them.

When I had to do so I chose the end of the day - so they weren't at the office feeling uncomfortable all day. I tried to soften it by saying I realize some people have allergies and medical issues but I since I think you're a good guy, one of the nicer people here that I work with I want you to know a way you can help yourself - and that's by using a stronger antiperspirant as the one you're using really isn't working. Maybe it's your clothing and you need a better detergent but it seems that there's a BO smell that I've noticed a few times now. Don't personalize it by saying *you* smell - but "there's a smell or odor". Maybe even if you see him packing up at the end of the day it would be a good time - so he can get in his car and escape.

My husband and daughter have no sense of smell - nor does my MIL and SIL. I take great effort to make sure my DD and DH don't smell - but my SIL has no clue her otherwise obnoxious son who has no social skills just smells horribly. I've tried to tell her but she stops me before I can get to it. <sigh> It's not as easy thing to do - but it's the right thing.

Hi. I worked in an office setting once where one of the workers had the same problem. Many of us noticed it and wasn't sure what to do. I read a solution and tried it: We purchased a gift basket with nice scented soaps, deodorants, lotions, etc.... and put it on the desk of the lady before she arrived at work. It was very pretty and definitely looked pretty and elegant. No cards were attached and surprisingly, it worked for the most part. She used them and never mentioned the basket to any of us co-workers. So, I suggest you do something like that. :) No embarrassment from either side or awkward moments passing in the hall by the water cooler..

The best way I have found, have a private conversation. Let the person know they are appreciated as being part of the team, let the person know that typically they are not aware of their own scent but, others have noticed it. Usually, the person will be surprised and that will be enough. Short and sweet. If they become agumentative, remind them that they need to work as a team and they are pushing their co-workers away.

I remember at one of my jobs....on the first day orientation, the boss says " bathe regularly " , I thought to myself " really? She had to tell us that?". I'll never forget it.
With some people you just have to say something. In a kind respectful way of course , but it needs to be said. Good luck. :)

I used to work with someone with a very serious BO issue. This is something that needs to be addressed with him, in private, by HR not a coworker. Someone does have to go to HR to tell them though.

The woman I worked with had a medical issue, it was not hygiene, but no one knew until HR spoke with her. Even so, it was highly disturbing for others to work with her in close quarters so her job needed to be adjusted so that she was working alone in a space away from others.