78 answers

Fix a Stupid Fight??

Ok this is really stupid but ever since Crocs have become popular my husband and I have both hated them. I still think they are really ugly but so many people I know say how comfy they are. So I found a pair for $3 and bought them for myself. He was kind of mean about it and I agreed I wouldn't wear them around him. Then today I found the most adorable shrek clogs for $5 at payless and because it was a BOGO sale and my friend was buying her daughter shoes they were half off. So I bought them for my 6 yr old son. Every summer it's a battle with finding shoes that my son can wear around water because once he gets sneakers wet he starts freaking out about having to wear them, even sandals, so I thought this was the perfect solution. My husband was so mad he was yelling at me and threatened to throw them away. Should I cave and bring them back?? or should I stand up for myself and leave the decision up to my son.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Ok well I guess the fight just fizzled out. We didn't talk any more about it but he hasn't made any comments. I did make a comment to my son about not wearing the crocs to school this morning and my son said "yeah I know I can't wear them around dad" and my husband responded with "yeah - if you do you'll be getting in the car w/o shoes on." so I guess he's a little bit ok with it but I think it was mostly because my son loved them so much.

Featured Answers

They're shoes!

You know you can buy sneakers that go in the water but they are kind of expensive. LL Bean has them and I actually own a pair and they are great for the summer, they breathe easy, they dry quick and they look great all the time!

Tell him to grow up and get over it. I think they're ugly, too. In fact I despise them- but I actually own a pair. I wear them to pick up dog poop in my yard (they were actually designed to be gardening shoes). But they are good beach and pool shoes cause they dry quick. He needs to suck it up and be a big boy. Tell him, sometimes, it's function, not fashion.

Actually my husband is the one who bought my son, who is 8, a pair of "fake" crocs because his friends at school had them and many of them were boys. My son loves them (navy blue) mostly because they are easy for him to put on and take off and they are great for the beach and for going outside and will keep them on as he hates sneakers in summer so he is happy - which makes me happy! :)

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Buy another ugly pair for your husband, and slip them on when he is napping. Take a photo. When he wakes up wearing them, threaten to show everyone the photo. Now he has a reason to be mad. Agree to return "his" crocs, and to destroy the photo. You can laugh about this some day. Not tomorrow, but someday.

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Sounds like your husband acting like he's a child. Who cares what the shoes look like? If they're comfortable and they fit, and a bargain as well, what's the big deal?

I don't know how old you are or how long you've been married, but if you want to stay married, shoes are not an item to be fighting over.

My husband are 50 years old and have been married for 24 years. We are blessed with an 11 year old son who was an in-vitro baby. We NEVER argue over ridiculous things like shoes.

Tell him to lighten up. As you age, there will be a lot more important things to disagree about than shoes.

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Yes, this is a stupid fight, but no more stupid than any I have with my husband on a daily basis. Yesterday we argued about generic vs. name brand yogurt. Anyway, if your kid likes the shoes, tell your husband to get over it. It won't be the first time in his life his son will be wearing something he hates. My husband's father still cringes when he sees the state of his son's dress sometimes and he's married with a child now! Oh, and I hate Crocs as well, but then I tried a pair on and bought them when I was pregnant. I refuse to wear them outside of the house and yard, but boy are they easy to slip on/off and wear around the house.

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Hi M.,
My take on this is to be the bigger person. I guess if there's one thing I've learned being married, it's that you have to pick your battles, and unless it's a really important issue, choosing to be the bigger person when stupid situations like this come up. Who knows, maybe your husband's just confused about why all of a sudden you have a different perspective about something you guys were formerly on the same page about. The actual issue is usually irrelevant in this type of situation. If it were me, I would tell my husband, I'm sorry he was so upset by it, and that it certainly wasn't my intention to upset him. Then I would explain the logic in buying your son the shoes. That should diffuse his defensiveness a bit without you actually coming out and saying that you did anything wrong. But if he really doesn't want your son wearing the shoes, to me that isn't an important enough issue to fight over, and I would try to be the bigger person in this situation. I've actually been in a similar situation with shoes for one of my sons, and I chose to let my hubby make the call. But that meant he also got to be the bad guy with our son and tell him that he couldn't keep the shoes. I did back my husband up, though, because I believe it's important to keep a united front, so the kids don't pit you against one another. Good luck.

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I have been in a similar situation, meaning that I have HATED some new trend then, for some reason, changed my mind about it. HOWEVER, you love your husband, don't you? If so, why would you want to annoy him? It's as simple as that. If he hates this type of shoe and you know it, then don't get them. It's that simple. It's only a shoe, after all. And if you think you are not standing up for yourself, you shouldn't feel that way becuase we all have to compromise sometimes with loved ones, be it our husband, mother, son, daughter, etc. You can find another type of shoe for your son. Donate the pair to a shelter instead of returning them. And NO, you should NOT leave the decision up to your six year old son. I hope you were kidding saying that.

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If that were my husband, I'd probably laugh and tell him to get over it. I can't imagine having the energy to spend on such a "dilemma". Tell him come talk to you when he has something worth fighting about. Excuse me for making light of the matter...It actually sounds like this is more about control than a shoe. I really just hope that anyone in your position feels SAFE enough to stand up for a simple choice you have made in order to resolve a relatively small problem of finding appropriate shoes for the summer.

I am going to be blunt, but I would say your husband needs to get a grip and worry about more important matters other than what kind of shoes his kids wear! Are you kidding me?! Is that all he has to worry about? Talk about nit picking........

c'mon they are shoes and this really shouldn't be as big of an issue as it is. I am not a huge fan of crocs myself, not because they are ugly or anything but because they cost so much and I could never justify paying for them especially for my girls because they are going to only get limited use out of them before they grow out of them. I would not bring them back, stand your ground on this one. Really, it's not a big deal, and you are absolutely right that he'll be able to wear them in the water, at the beach, by the pool, etc. They are easy to slip on/off. I got my girls alternate versions of crocs for less money as well and I am glad I did because they are convenient. Good luck with this situation and I hope it gets better for you soon.

I would not throw them away, but stand up for myself & tell my husband to get over it. There must be an underlying reason why he doesn't like them & would get so upset that he would yeall at you for buyting them. Maybe he had to wear "dorky" shoes when he was a kid & doesn't want his child to feel that way? But, since crocs are all in fashion & they are REALLY comfortable, washable & easy for a little kid to put on, your son won't feel like he has something on his feet that are out of the ordinary.

$5 shoes are not worth it. Your relationship with your husband is more important. You will find water shoes for your boy anywhere..try online at llbean.
If you want to keep them...it sounds like your husband is taking it a little to peronally that you broke down and bought crocs without consulting him. Try explaining..but don't get in a fight over it. Just say ok and drop it. He may come around the next time

leave the decision up to your son.

I SWORE I would never let my kid wear "charachter" clothes. (especially Disney!) My husband and I felt strongly about our kids being advertisement for these huge groups, plus the clothes, in our opinion, our pretty cheesy. Well, guess what I just bought for my daughter? A Disney princess T-shirt. Made her the happiest little girl ever. I realize that I was making choices for her based on MY needs and opinions (I like putting her in little me outfits) - rather then fostering her independence and right to make choices for herself. So, let your boy make the choice.
Also, we just bought our first pair of crocs 2 weeks ago.
They are darn practical and pretty comfy.

I think the decision should be left to your son, after all, he is the one that has to wear them, not your husband.

My husband and I had a similar fight last year when we were in Florida on vacation. Both of my kids were dying for a pair and I bought them when we were out shopping. My husband was mad because he hates them too, but wasn't as vocal as yours. My theory is... Is your husband wearing them? No. If your son likes them (as my did!), then it should be a non-issue. End of story.

Just a side note, I have two boys, who are now 7 & almost 3. My little one (who was just 2), was so proud of himself that he could put on his own shoes - what could my husband say?

Best of luck to you.

Hi M.! We do fight over silly things...don't we??? In my house the things I or our daughters chose to wear seemed to be more of a reflection on my husband (in his eyes)! He was embarrassed if a daughter had no coat on or if I wore something he didn't like and he made a big deal over it. First, are you sure this fight isn't over something more meaningful and it has turned into this? Second, what you wear on your feet, head, whatever is your business. And it seems a six year old should wear what he likes as long as it's appropriate and functional! Shrek is in!! Perhaps your husband has the same fragile ego as mine and needs to let it be and realize that shoes are shoes and who cares. Just try to reassure him that no one is trying to defy him, but you're big enough to dress yourself and your son will outgrow or wear out the shoes real soon. Then your husband can pick out the next pair (and you won't say anything!!) Try to get him to focus on the important issues! Good luck!

I HATED these shoes too, but on kids, I think they are OK. Never say never!

My sister just told me that her girlfriend's son has flat feet they are trying to correct and his doc told her to get some Crocs. I guess they help train the arch because you have to grip with your toes to walk. So tell him they are good for your son's feet!

I too am not exactly a fan of crocs - are they really comfy?

Your husband, forgive me for being so blunt, needs to get a grip, calm down, and apologize to you. Getting so mad about a pair of $6 shoes is really unstable! I would let your son decide - he might love them, might hate them. Or, he might do what happened with my son - like the walmart ones I got him (just to see if they were comfy) and abandon them the second he got a blister, never to be looked at again.

Hope your husband comes to his senses soon!

Wow! Your husband needs to grow up! Does he control you as much as you make it sound? You MUST stick up for yourself! Who cares if they are ugly, most shoes that are comfortable are ugly! Tell your husband to get over it. What is the big deal?

You're right this is a stupid fight. They're just shoes. It's not the end of the world. You need to tell your husband to get over it and waste his energy on something that matters! I wish you luck.

I hear you on thinking crocs are not the greatest looking shoe around, but they ARE comfortable and almost EVERY child I know has them- boys and girls!! I was a high school teacher before having my daughter and MANY if not MOST of the kids had crocs. I agree with the other responses- a) this isn't worth fighting over and b) your son will like things you two don't like-it's part of becoming an individual...keep the crocs- work through the issue. Good luck-

I too think they are the ugliest thing on earth as well, but to each his own. My two sons wear them and your husband is being rediculous. You're not making him wear them. Tell him when it's his feet then he can worry about it. and to get a grip. My husband wouldn't even contemplate yelling at me let alone over something so silly. Good luck hun.

I'ld tell your husband to get over it. I hate crocs too but i bought my son a pair that sketchers makes and they worked out great because my son hates sandals and i'm not about to let him wear sneakers all summer and have them get wet. also because the shoe is enclosed you don't have to worry about him running and him stubbing his toe or the shoe falling off. my son did very well with them and i plan on getting him another pair.
If anything when talking to your husband tell him the crocs are safer than regular sandals.

I was actually a croc fan until I talked to a physical therapist and orthopedic surgeon who said they can be bad for your knees if you wear them too often. Both said that young children should never wear crocs. I guess they don't provide enough support so the joints have to compensate. If you and your son are only occasionally wearing them around water then it should be OK.

I also read some stories about crocs getting caught in escalators and children getting hurt that way. The grippy rubber gets sucked right in by the escalator.

Good Luck!

i would admit that you were wrong about the crocs and now you realize that even though they are hideous, they are a good solution for the summer shoe problem. you can still agree that they are dumb looking but maybe you can also come together over the fact that they are practical.

I'm about to do the same thing. After making fun of crocs with my husband for the last two years I'm really tempted to buy them for my son because they seem so practical for summer, but I feel like a hypocrite! We're allowed to change our minds though. Maybe you should wait for your husband to cool off then make a joke about how you came to find out how comfortable/practical they are, maybe even buy him a pair to "convert" him. I'm not sure how serious a fight you had but maybe you'll catch him walking around in them when he thinks you're not around and the whole issue will be settled.
for now, your son is six, i think he should decide.

First of all, yes it is a stupid fight but probably one of many that you have had, I know i have had many more stupid fights than that. You will both get over it. But the shoes issue should be left up to your son. If he really likes them than your husband needs to deal with it. And to respond to the mother who said clogs are for girls, she is right...about clogs...not about Crocs. Crocs are for boys and girls. When Crocs first came out i was not a big fan, but I like them on kids, Especially since they can put them on and take them off by themselves and they can get wet and not be ruined. ell your husband to grow up, and it seems like it may be more of an insecurity issue with him...

Actually my husband is the one who bought my son, who is 8, a pair of "fake" crocs because his friends at school had them and many of them were boys. My son loves them (navy blue) mostly because they are easy for him to put on and take off and they are great for the beach and for going outside and will keep them on as he hates sneakers in summer so he is happy - which makes me happy! :)


I am responding before reading the other posts so if you have already heard this, please ignore . . . I have my own love-hate relationship with crocs. They are really comfortable but I hate the price. If I found thome for $3 and $5 I would by them too. I think your husband is making a mountain out of a molehill in this particular instance. . .

Hi, Personally i love the crocs, actually i have the payless ones they are airwalks, i wear them because im a cna, and they are very comfy, i did buy a pair each for my two sons they are 6 and almost 5 and my husband said they are for girls(they are nvy blue)...he didnt make a stink about it, im the one who picks out everyones clothes...lol..but honestly they are kids shoes tell him to let it go.......its true pick your battles ignore him then, he'll get the point.......dont cave in over shoes.....good luck

I have to say, that I was against crocs at first too, I mean, they are a plastic shoe! But my daughter was given a pair for a present from a friend, and she LOVED them. I have since bought a pair for each of my kids each summer. They are so easy! no more arguements about putting something on their feet, and if they get wet it doesn't matter. I actually bought myself a pair of knock-offs last summer, and I like being able to just slip into them when I need to run outside. They really are a pretty good shoe for a kid, so long as it is not the only shoe they wear. They are very light weight and give them lots of cushion when they are on the run. One thing with younger kids though, make sure he keeps the strap behind his heal, so they don't slip off on him. If it helps any, my husband is a Physical Therapist, and he has no problems with our kids wearing them. Hope you can get your husband to understand that they are not bad for his son to wear, even if they are ugly!

I agree, it is a stupid fight. I probably am the only one so far...I did not read all the responses..who totally disagrees about the shoes. I am a nurse and love the crocs!! They are very comfortable and recommended by podiatrists who are now selling them in their offices. You should not have to choose between comfy shoes and your husband. That is just ridiculous. Wear them and let your son wear them...obviously they are meant for kid, boys and girls, if they are Shrek.

If your son likes the crocs then let him wear them. It is fine that your husband thinks they are ugly -- he doesn't have to wear them! My kids have had them since the came out and yes, they aren't the best looking shoes, but the kids love them and they are easy for the kids to put on and take off.

Does your son like them? He's the one who will be wearing them, and, since he's 6, he's old enough to decide if he likes them. I'm the kind of person who would wear them AND put them on my son just to spite my husband for starting such a stupid fight. But, obviously, you have to do what you feel is right for your relationship.

Haha, your husband sounds like my man.... acting like a child. THEY ARE SHOES! You shouldn't have to throw something you spent money on just to shut him up and end a silly fight. Stand up for yourself and tell him what a child he is being. What's with these men?? :-)

I think your husband needs to pick something better than ugly shoes to be angry about... sounds like he's got anger management problems and control issues. I hope he can work on that, but I wouldn't hold my breath...

Been there, done that, got out alive :)

OMG! Who is he to tell you they cant be worn. I think they're fine for kids. If your son like them then that would solve everything. If your husband dont like them he doesnt have to go anywhere with you does he? Tell him to GROW UP! Sorry if it seems a bit harsh, but come on. Seriously, fighting over this, theres worse issues.

I'm no psychologist, but your husband's reaction sounds like he has other issues that are presenting themselves here. I had heard about Crocs before they were popular and they were recommended to me due to problems with my feet--for comfort and wearability. I procrastinated in getting them, and once I thought that I might, they became so popular that I adamantly refused. (A huge change from middle and high school when I would have BEGGED my mother to go get them for me, I'm sure!) Recently, I saw a pair for a good price and, like you, decided to purchase them for myself. I basically wear them whenever I do stuff outside. Care and maintenance are a minimum. Perfect for a mom! So I see where you are coming from. I'm not one to give in easily, but, as you said, this is something really stupid. If the issue for your husband really is over these shoes, personally, I would try to keep the peace--whatever that requires. Is it possible to sit down and have a truly rational discussion about it? And, I'm sure that you have already, but perhaps actually showing him the ease in every aspect for your son to have access to such shoes in the summer. We don't go to the beach and one of the reasons is that I have no tolerance for all of the sand that gets into everything and then being all wet and sandy--ugh! But those shoes would be perfect!!! No more wet/dirty/sandy sneakers?!? You may have converted me to get a couple of pairs for my kids--and maybe I'll entertain going to the beach!

As for the shoes you actually purchased for your son. You wrote that they are "clogs." Did you mean crocs? If so, I don't see the boy/girl issue at all that others have written about. However, I haven't seen them, so I don't know what they look like.

Something to keep in mind in your discussion with dear husband--ask him what the protocol is for when you want to buy something either for yourself or your son. In other words, what items do you need his PERMISSION for, and what things are you free to buy with your own discretion? Does he need to monitor the grocery list, your undergarments, feminine hygiene products? Maybe he would get the point that way. Good luck. Looking forward to seeing how it all turns out.

P.S.--I must say, I have never seen an argument over crocs as being a reason cited for divorce. :-)

i find this subject so funny, because my friend has the same problem with her husband and crocs and not to mention a few other pieces of clothing. her husband freaked out over robeez with her too! my question is, when did dads get so concerned with what children are wearing?!! ha ha!

my friend just sucked it up and told him they were easiest for her to put on and that he didn't have to put them on when he had the kids alone, but as far as making it easier for mom, do what you have to. it's not like you are putting a speedo on him when all the other kids are wearing shorts...crocs are what is out there right now. the fad will fade eventually and you'll be on to the next one. but truly, crocs were the best thing for my toddler last summer and plan to get another pair this year. no struggle to get them on and you can dry them with a paper towel! good luck.

It's only a pair of shoes. I think it would be silly to throw them away considering they are very functional and would be useful to your son. In this case, I think function over-rules aethetics. Hopefully, if you explain it this way to your husband he will understand. I would also explain that you didn't buy them out of spite. You were aware that your husband didn't like Crocs, and perhaps you should have asked for his opinion first ... but they were cheap and would come in handy. If your son is old enough to weigh in on this, certainly if he is OK with wearing the Crocs, then your husband should be OK with it, too.

I haven't read all the posts here, but the few I did scroll down and read all said that your husband was essentially stupid and that you should tell him to get over it. Not only do I disagree, but I'm also appalled to read of the sheer disrespect and disdain that so many of these women seem to have for their husbands. If they had more respect they wouldn't advise you as they have. Whether or not it was a silly thing to get upset about isn't really the issue here. To me, the issue is your marriage and your respect for each other, and specifically, your respect for your husband's preferences, even over something as silly as shoes. Is it a big deal that your son has Shrek crocs? Probably not. But it seems to be to your husband, and I am of the belief that the marriage MUST be a priority over the children - for the benefit of the children, or else the failing of the marriage then affects the children as well... Even your arguing over the shoes, as silly as that is, will have an impact on your son. I say the silly shoes aren't worth it, your husband is more important. Maybe you should have a dialog about why that is so important to him. Or maybe it is more of an issue to him b/c he expressed to you how much he didn't like the ones that you are wearing, and then you went and bought some for your son. Maybe it's not the actual crocs that are the issue, but the fact that you went and bought something for your son that you know he feels strongly about in a negative way. Whether his reasoning for that makes sense to you or not, shouldn't his feelings have some sort of value to you? I'm not meaning to sound harsh. I apologize if that is how this is coming out. I guess I'm more talking that way to some of the people who posted foolish advice. Marriage is a partnership, and the husband is the head of the home. It's just silly shoes. Take them back and enjoy peace in your family.

I just wanted to send a quick response to the whole Croc Incident. I think that if your child likes them and they are not in anyway hurting anyone that he is around or near and the only thing wrong is that someone doesnt like them then just let him wear them. Its hard as children grow up to find things they are into and really stick with them... and it could be just a phase aswell so he might grow out of the Idea of them and move on to some other shoe as kids tend to do. Also the more you tell someone NO! (specially Kids) and dont give them any good concrete reasons why something is not okay or why it might not be right and educate them in whatever it is the more they want to do it. Also everyone has there opinions about certain things and your husbands opinions are not wrong they are just HIS opinions. And your sons opinion is that he likes them and that is not wrong eaither, its just his opinion! Im not one to wear the crocs at all, however, I do know that many nurses and Doctors wear them because they are comfortable at work and they are on their feet all the time... as are children. the are constantly on the move. Specially in the summer and the crocs have great ventilation for feet in the summer and like you said they are perfect water shoes. In life you have to pick your battles as life is not guaranteed to anyone, So in the grand scheme of things this is just a small lil thing, and your husband should look at it as... if the worst thing your son ever wants to do is wear crocs then you guys are on a great path!

I think you should go back to Payless, purchase a pair of crocs in your husbands size, wrap them and give them as a gift from your son. Geez, he should not sweat the small stuff. Enjoy your crocs. LOL :)

I would keep the crocs, especially at the price you paid for them. I have three children and bought three pairs at full price (this was two years ago) and they still wear them all the time. They are comfortable and easy to clean. They are a very practical purchase this time of year. I think they are ugly too, but ended up getting myself a pair and wear them to do school drop offs, to run out and get the paper, etc. Good luck!

Tell him to grow up and get over it. I think they're ugly, too. In fact I despise them- but I actually own a pair. I wear them to pick up dog poop in my yard (they were actually designed to be gardening shoes). But they are good beach and pool shoes cause they dry quick. He needs to suck it up and be a big boy. Tell him, sometimes, it's function, not fashion.

Hi M.,

I hate to sound rude, but it sounds like you have a much bigger problem then just the crocs being a poor style choice. Your husband's overreaction seems like he has control issues which could lead to much worse altercations in the future with both you and your son. I would seek out the advise of a professional counselor. Really, kids choose lots of styles we wouldn't necessarily choose, but fitting in with their peers is very important to their self-esteem/confidence. I would save my battles for more important issues. When children feel they are being over controlled they really tend to act out in adolescence which will make your life alot more difficult then whether or not you like his style choices.

Best Wishes
J. L.

Sorry, but I need to side with your husband... Crocs are just ugly. Really, really ugly. And, with all the information coming out now with the dangers of plastics...

If it's a question of whether or not they are ugly, then it is a silly fight. But the psychologists would say in cases like this, "It's really NOT about the shoes." Like it's not about who loads the dishwasher right, or folds the towels a certain way - the conflict is about something bigger, like someone feeling they've been made a fool of or is being defied.

It can't be a question of price - you found a bargain. There are safety issues around crocs so check out consumer sites - there have been problems, many schools have banned them because they fall off when kids are climbing on playground equipment, etc. However, it sounds more like someone's ego is bruised - "we both thought they were ugly, now you changed your mind, so you are making me look stupid and rigid and I think you did this just to stick it to me." You have gone from thinking they are ugly to finding an "adorable" pair so your husband doesn't know what happened. A 6 year old shouldn't be making decisions about footwear anyway, and I wouldn't set the precedent now of having him defy his father, or have mom & kid gang up against Dad. There will be plenty of kid defiance about clothing in the teen years, so don't start now! ;-) A lot of kids wear Aqua Socks or similar knock-off brands around water, and they fit pretty snugly and dry quickly. Teva sandals are the same - they adjust, dry quickly, etc. Again, you can get a cheaper brand, but in that style. Maybe those would work for your son. He's also another year older so maybe there won't be an annual battle about wet shoes. But more importantly, I'd try to get to the bottom of the issue with your husband.

Hey M.,
Ok so this is a really stupid fight but, it sure doesn't surprise me. I aso think that they are ugly and everyone who I asked who owns them LOVES THEM! So I guess that I am the stupid one. Yup I'd say that could be the reason why he is fighting you. They are shoes! It is not like you are wearing a yellow with bright green striped blouse. Great buy for your sons too! Can I fix the fight? NO, but this too shall pass. The stupid little things that we say and do huh. Just smile and tell him that he should try a pair on if they are that comfy - how often does he stare at what shoes he is wearing?
If you don't fight - who will he fight with?
Good Luck....

The Crocs are the best!!!! Me, my husband and my 2 sons wear them! Stand up for yourself girlfriend! Have you ever gone on crocs.com and seen all the newest styles of crocs??? They are awesome. THey have so many different kinds!

I think crocs are so ugly too. and clogs for that matter. Having said that, my kids both have crocs and I have the fleece ones. They are warm and so I bought them. In the big picture not a big deal. My husband laughed at them and I laughed back. as far as the kids, I told him he could spend an entire day during the summer with them and he could deal with my daughter doing the same thing, freaking out about wet shoes and not wanting to wear sandles when they are wet etc and then he could have a vote on it, until he did that, his vote would not count. That got him quiet pretty quickly. The kids love them and I am not going to pick that battle with them either! good luck.

I hate Crocs as well! However I think you are right it is a perfect solution for the water.
Your husband is being ridiculous and childish & needs to grow up. I understand if he does not like them and he does not want to wear them but if you or your son like them you should be able to wear them without him flipping out and trying to throw them away.

What a shame to have such a thing going on. Im not sure I can help but if your husband doesnt like your choices, tell him to make a better one. This should apply in any dispute, not just this one. You can also apply the WWJD question to him.

To be perfectly honest with you. I think it is very dumb and imature to be fighting over crocs. They are shoes.
He should really think about that. There are far more worse things in life to complain about. I would tell him to get over it but that is just me.
Good luck.

Ugly shoes are definitely not worth arguing over. You said yourself you didn't like them and then caved into peer pressure when you were out with a friend, could THAT be what has your husband's undies in a twist? Perhaps he thinks you are too easily swayed. The shoes ARE ugly pieces of cheap plastic, not worth fighting about. Invest in a good pair sport sandals for yourself and your son and be done with it.
If you end up digging your heels in over this (no pun intended!) you will really have to decide if this is a hill you want to die on (metaphorically speaking).

Hi M. - I think this is about something more than a pair of shoes.... My thought is you should explore what is really bothering your husband.

Okay, my advice is don't sweat the small stuff and this is REALLY small stuff. Your hubby needs to take a deep breath. My kids both have crocs and while I agree they aren't that attractive, even I have a pair of fleece lined ones that I have really loved this winter - I only wear them in the house. They are great around the water, dry quickly and don't breed bacteria. Tell hubby if he doesn't like what you buy, he can buy your son shoes himself and let it drop. I wouldn't return them if it were me.

Hi i would find out y he is so mad about it and then stand up for yourself hes your son to

Just my two cents but there will be many things that your son will wear or do, that BOTH you and your husband will not like. I suggest at his age you and your husband research whether what your child WANTS is safe and then if you agree that it is, let your child decide. In other words some research indicates that crocs are not safe or they are bad for children's feet etc. I'd ask your husband if he feels that strongly about them to read about them. Find out what the research shows. Discuss it like mature adults and if you both think they are safe/fine for his feet then let your son decide if they LOOK like something he wants to wear. If you both think they are not safe then no need to go into it, just return them.

I'd also gently suggest that you and your husband either read or watch The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Life is too short to be arguing over things like a 6 year old's shoes.

Good luck!

If you don't want to argue, you could take them back and get your child water shoes for the beach, etc. LL Bean sells really nice ones, but they can also be found in Wal-Mart and most other stores.

It's your decision whether it is worth the fight or not.

In my opinion - shoes are not worth fighting over. Does your son really need those particular shoes? Excuse me for saying this, but I think your husband is a little ridiculous for acting this way, but why antagonize him over a pair of shoes? Its not worth fighting over everytime you and your son wear them.

Also, make your husband go find logical shoes for your son to wear under those circumstances you listed (ie: them getting wet). Onestepahead.com makes water sneakers- check it out. Maybe the three of you can compromise on a pair?

Good luck.


If your son likes them then he should keep them. Tell your husband to pick his battles because there are more important issues that need settling in life than what kind of water shoes he is wearing!


Yikes! He must really hate crocs! Whats the big deal? You changed your mind about liking a pair of shoes and got some for you child...thats all.
Do you guys fight a lot or is he controlling in any way? I just think its a bit extreme to get that heated over crocs.

Or 3 1/2 and 2 year old sons LOVE their crocs..or frocs (the fake ones). At this time of year they put them on themselves, they get wet, and you can hose them down. We also love they for the beach. I was not a big fan either, until I saw some other little guys wearing them and they look adorable. We have camoflauge crocs and navy blue and they get way more use then I would have thought. Give your husband some time...he may get used to the idea.

you're right it is a stupid fight - and your husband needs to pick his battles.

I have 3 pairs of crocs just for myself (standard crocs, mary janes & the lined winter pair) and i Love them all. espcially since i have a bad back - i really can't walk around bear foot, i need some sort of shoe on at all times.

last summer i bought my daughter (who was walking at 10 mos and turned 1 in aug) imitaion pair (that had a strap around the back - from babies R us) and they were great - i could hose them down when she played in mud/dirt, they let air flow on her sweaty little feet, great on a hot pool decks to protect her feet and still allow her to get wet - and since she was learning to walk - they covered her toes so she wouldn't stub them while learning to walk.

my husband actually has a black pair now - it originally started for something for him to wear around the house as slippers (b/c we hand't found a regular pair of slippers that his feet didn't get too sweaty). something easy to slip on to go out to the grill to make dinner, take out the trash, get the mail - and he ended up liking them so much - he wears them "in public" - mostly on weekends, running errands, to cookouts etc.

short of being a girly color - i think crocs are fine for boys too. and being clogs - they are easier for him to put them on himself - and you don't have to worry about buckles/ties/velcro etc. one thing i would advise that if it doesn't have the back strap on them - not to let him wear them when he's riding his bike/scooter and running around on pavement - b/c they could slip off easier w/o the back strap.

kids can be very particular about certain things -and if having "frocs" for your son will help cut down on the battle - and head off any tantrums b/c of wet shoes - then let the kid wear the crocs!

and heck - it was only $5, it's not like you bought the real ones at $25+ a pair - i am all for the "frocs" since kids will grow out of them year after year.

honestly your husband is being well stupid. he should not be telling you what to wear. you are an adult. And by agreeing to not wear them, that is what he is doing.

As for the shrek clogs. well, my husband would be upset too, clogs are for girls. So I'd probably bring them back, if your husband is upset. And I say this because he is your son's father and has a say. But he should not be mad about it, he should just state his reasons and talk to you like an adult and not threaten you.

But if your son likes them, have your son ask his father if he can keep them.

good luck!

I think one of the most important things about being a parent is never say never because you often end up contradicting yourself or having to hold on to outmoded ideas because you are too stubborn. Forget about what you and your husband thought about crocs originally, now that you've tried them what is your honest opinion. Don't try and justify keeping them because they were cheap. Do you honestly like them and think they will be a good shoe for your son to wear during the summer? If you think so, then tell your husband that it really isn't a big deal and that you made a mistake about judging something before you really knew what it was about.

I personally think Crocs aren't that great and they do look very ugly. I don't really see the benefit of children wearing them over other shoes - I don't think they stay on well and they aren't good for climbing or running. When they get wet, the mud and sand just flows right through the large holes and are just as uncomfortable as other wet shoes. They are handy for swimming lessons.

I'm not a big fan of crocs either (they are pretty ugly and expensive for what they are!) but I don't see anything wrong with you or your son wearing them, especially if you got such a deal. I disagree with the mom who said they are for girls and you should take them back. I see lots of boys wearing crocs (and other kinds of clogs, sandals, etc.) these days. Your husband is being controlling and irrational and you shouldn't let him get away with that.

Good luck!

Yes, they are the ugliest things ever, but they are the most comfortable things ever. I have 2 pair and my kids (14 yo daughter and 16 1/2 yo son each have a pair). My husband is considering getting a pair (but will only wear them around the house when his gout flairs up!!) We wear them all around, but they have been so much better than water shoes (also ugly!).
If this is a reason to yell and be mean... I don't get it. Does your husband control other pieces of clothing? If you and your son find them comfortable, wear them! But only you can decide if this is really a battle to fight.
Good Luck,

Hi M.,

Too bad you have to deal with this. I mean really they are just shoes. Yes when I first saw Crocs I thought I would never own a pair,but then at 8 months during my pregnancy Crocs were the only thing that would fit my swollen feet. There are more important things to be concerned about than a pair of shoes that I am sure your son might like. Stand your ground and let your son decide if he wants to wear them. Good luck!!!


OK, Crocs are ugly, but they are comfy!!! As far as the issue goes with your son's crocs, if he wants to wear them (when appropriate), let him. Especially around the water, if these shoes solve the foot safety/wet shoe issue, then that is perfect--they rinse off easily, too!!!

Try the safety angle with your husband...then again, if your son doesn't like them & doesn't want to wear them this is a moot point!! Good Luck!!

Hi M.,
I understand your position here with wanting to end a stupid fight, but you need to stand up for yourself and your son. Especially for your son and let him decide what he wants to wear. If these are the only problems that your husband can find to get upset about than he should cound his lucky stars. Once your son is older and can choose is clothes himself, your husband is going to need to learn to respect his decisions...so you need to get the ball rolling now!!!

Hi M.-
I would say you are fine with buying the crocs. I personally think they are ugly shoes. But, hell if they are that cheap and comfy...perhaps they are in my future. My father who is in his mid 50s owns a pair. When I first saw them, I laughed. His response, "Don't knock them, til you've tried them". I haven't laughed since. As for your husband going mental over them...tell him to relax...that you didn't spend much on them and your son will grow out of them soon enough. If he doesn't like them, you are only out $2.50 if I read your email right. There are worse things in life that you could have bought. I'm sure the Shrek crocs are adorable. Now, if you had matching Fiona crocs...that would be grounds for your hubby to flip a gasket! :) just kidding!

Hi M.,

I haven't read any responses yet, as I didn't want anything to sway my own opinion. Here are my thoughts:

Yes, I guess you could call this a "stupid" fight - I do personally think its a little petty, but justified.

That said, his response seems over the top over some shoes. You didn't dye his hair purple, you didn't get him a tatoo, you bought him comfy footwear for the summer season, which I have 2 seven year olds, and I know how hard that can be.

If I were in your shoes, I would leave the decision up to my son. If he likes them, he would keep them regardless of what anyone else thought.

Also, I would stand my ground with my husband. If I were to waver in this argument, then I leave myself open to losing other, more substantial arguments in the future.

Good luck and PLEASE let us know about the outcome on this!!!

And by the way, Crocks are by far the ugliest, and quite possibly the most hideous looking shoe I've ever seen, but they are absolutely comfortable! Now if only than can make Manolo Bhlaniks that comfy!!! :-)

I agree Crocs are ugly, but they are actually pretty comfortable and they are great summer shoes. My kids live in them from the moment their toes aren't freezing in the late spring all the way until the late fall. They are terrific b/c they don't stub their toes liek with flip flops, and as you said they are great for water. They last a really really long time too. Your child will outgrow them before they wear out. Not sure why DH is so upset about them - they look really cute on kids. My 2 cents.

My brother and sister-in-law once, in their first year of marriage, had a fight over tomato paste. It got so bad they wondered if they had made a horrible mistake getting married! It went from tomato paste to in-laws' buying habits to making decisions to... It was brutal! But 36 years and two adult kids later, the argument is a source of entertainment.

Meanwhile, if your child likes 'em and they feel comfy, keep 'em! For $2.50, you can't beat the price. Besides telling your husband to get a life, it would probably be good to see what he's really mad about. Can it really be the Crocs or is it a spending issue or a cheap shoe issue or what? (Obviously, don't ask it like that or you'll likely inflame him even further. But seriously, it might help to suss it out.)

Hopefully, this will be a story to go down in fun family lore in years to come. Good luck!

They're shoes!

You know you can buy sneakers that go in the water but they are kind of expensive. LL Bean has them and I actually own a pair and they are great for the summer, they breathe easy, they dry quick and they look great all the time!

Hi M.,
not to make light of the situation, kind of reminds me of that commercial (I think it's Orbitz or something) where the family is on vacation and the father has this circle thing over his head because Orbitz keeps them posted on any changes or something and the wife says You are embarrassing me, I am going to go exercise and when I get back I want it gone - when she stands up she has some 1980's exercise outfit on complete with headband and legwarmers!! the commercial is something like that anyway, kind of funny......

Not the argument though. I mean, I completely understand about trying to find summer shoes that kids will wear, comfy, durable, able to wear anywhere, AND affordable. I thought crocs were ugly too, but boy they are comfortable...of course I have had birkenstock shoes for about 20 years now and was made fun of all the time back then for wearing them, but they are comfortable too! Maybe sitting down with your hubby and asking if this is really why he is so upset or is there something else underlying here. sometimes resentment can get built up over short periods of time over other stupid stuff or not so stupid stuff and you just kind of put it away and then something else like buying ugly shoes....just sets something off and we totally over react about this - and it is hard to realize that it is isn't really this that you are mad about but other things that you can't quite figure out how to verbalize...

maybe after bedtime and you and your hubby are alone, try to have a "safe talk" where no one can yell and you can try to vent your feelings. My husband and I will be married for 17 years this year and just recently we got into a couple of arguments over stupid stuff and they were pretty intense feeling - we sat down and had our talk and got things out in the open and worked things out. we were saying to each other that at some point you would think that marraige would be "safe" and get easier - But NOT! it still takes effort after being together almost 20 years! Very worth it though. We also always say to one another that we can get through anything as long as we're together.
I wish you luck and hope it turns out to be something that won't cause any resentment towards either of you. Don't back down if you feel strongly about it, cuz it will continue to bother you when something else happens....
and of course, give your son the option of whether or not he likes them - maybe have him try them without dad around so you can get his true opinion on if he likes them or not!
Good Luck!

I might be wrong, but I think in your husband's mind this is more than just the $5 crocs - it may be about respecting his feelings, or maybe even some other issue but he chose to blow up at this one. He didn't express himself well and acted like a bully/baby - but nonetheless, there is some real issue there. There's a disconnect, and you need to have a frank discussion about so you can see each other's point of view. Good luck.

is your husband a "name brand hater" or a nonconformist type? mine is, as am i, and whenever my son gets anything with say a nike swoosh, gap/old navy logo or whatever, my husband refuses to let him wear it. "my son is not going to be a walking advertisement," he says. hes an avid media critic. personally i think name brands are made better on the whole, but i really do hate buying stuff that every kid on the block has. that being said, good for you getting crocs cheap (regardless of their popularity, they are super comfy, and practical) and tell your husband to lighten up- its not that big of a deal :)

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