78 answers

Fix a Stupid Fight??

Ok this is really stupid but ever since Crocs have become popular my husband and I have both hated them. I still think they are really ugly but so many people I know say how comfy they are. So I found a pair for $3 and bought them for myself. He was kind of mean about it and I agreed I wouldn't wear them around him. Then today I found the most adorable shrek clogs for $5 at payless and because it was a BOGO sale and my friend was buying her daughter shoes they were half off. So I bought them for my 6 yr old son. Every summer it's a battle with finding shoes that my son can wear around water because once he gets sneakers wet he starts freaking out about having to wear them, even sandals, so I thought this was the perfect solution. My husband was so mad he was yelling at me and threatened to throw them away. Should I cave and bring them back?? or should I stand up for myself and leave the decision up to my son.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Ok well I guess the fight just fizzled out. We didn't talk any more about it but he hasn't made any comments. I did make a comment to my son about not wearing the crocs to school this morning and my son said "yeah I know I can't wear them around dad" and my husband responded with "yeah - if you do you'll be getting in the car w/o shoes on." so I guess he's a little bit ok with it but I think it was mostly because my son loved them so much.

Featured Answers

They're shoes!

You know you can buy sneakers that go in the water but they are kind of expensive. LL Bean has them and I actually own a pair and they are great for the summer, they breathe easy, they dry quick and they look great all the time!

Tell him to grow up and get over it. I think they're ugly, too. In fact I despise them- but I actually own a pair. I wear them to pick up dog poop in my yard (they were actually designed to be gardening shoes). But they are good beach and pool shoes cause they dry quick. He needs to suck it up and be a big boy. Tell him, sometimes, it's function, not fashion.

Actually my husband is the one who bought my son, who is 8, a pair of "fake" crocs because his friends at school had them and many of them were boys. My son loves them (navy blue) mostly because they are easy for him to put on and take off and they are great for the beach and for going outside and will keep them on as he hates sneakers in summer so he is happy - which makes me happy! :)

More Answers

Buy another ugly pair for your husband, and slip them on when he is napping. Take a photo. When he wakes up wearing them, threaten to show everyone the photo. Now he has a reason to be mad. Agree to return "his" crocs, and to destroy the photo. You can laugh about this some day. Not tomorrow, but someday.

1 mom found this helpful

M.,

Sounds like your husband acting like he's a child. Who cares what the shoes look like? If they're comfortable and they fit, and a bargain as well, what's the big deal?

I don't know how old you are or how long you've been married, but if you want to stay married, shoes are not an item to be fighting over.

My husband are 50 years old and have been married for 24 years. We are blessed with an 11 year old son who was an in-vitro baby. We NEVER argue over ridiculous things like shoes.

Tell him to lighten up. As you age, there will be a lot more important things to disagree about than shoes.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, this is a stupid fight, but no more stupid than any I have with my husband on a daily basis. Yesterday we argued about generic vs. name brand yogurt. Anyway, if your kid likes the shoes, tell your husband to get over it. It won't be the first time in his life his son will be wearing something he hates. My husband's father still cringes when he sees the state of his son's dress sometimes and he's married with a child now! Oh, and I hate Crocs as well, but then I tried a pair on and bought them when I was pregnant. I refuse to wear them outside of the house and yard, but boy are they easy to slip on/off and wear around the house.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,
My take on this is to be the bigger person. I guess if there's one thing I've learned being married, it's that you have to pick your battles, and unless it's a really important issue, choosing to be the bigger person when stupid situations like this come up. Who knows, maybe your husband's just confused about why all of a sudden you have a different perspective about something you guys were formerly on the same page about. The actual issue is usually irrelevant in this type of situation. If it were me, I would tell my husband, I'm sorry he was so upset by it, and that it certainly wasn't my intention to upset him. Then I would explain the logic in buying your son the shoes. That should diffuse his defensiveness a bit without you actually coming out and saying that you did anything wrong. But if he really doesn't want your son wearing the shoes, to me that isn't an important enough issue to fight over, and I would try to be the bigger person in this situation. I've actually been in a similar situation with shoes for one of my sons, and I chose to let my hubby make the call. But that meant he also got to be the bad guy with our son and tell him that he couldn't keep the shoes. I did back my husband up, though, because I believe it's important to keep a united front, so the kids don't pit you against one another. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

I have been in a similar situation, meaning that I have HATED some new trend then, for some reason, changed my mind about it. HOWEVER, you love your husband, don't you? If so, why would you want to annoy him? It's as simple as that. If he hates this type of shoe and you know it, then don't get them. It's that simple. It's only a shoe, after all. And if you think you are not standing up for yourself, you shouldn't feel that way becuase we all have to compromise sometimes with loved ones, be it our husband, mother, son, daughter, etc. You can find another type of shoe for your son. Donate the pair to a shelter instead of returning them. And NO, you should NOT leave the decision up to your six year old son. I hope you were kidding saying that.

1 mom found this helpful

If that were my husband, I'd probably laugh and tell him to get over it. I can't imagine having the energy to spend on such a "dilemma". Tell him come talk to you when he has something worth fighting about. Excuse me for making light of the matter...It actually sounds like this is more about control than a shoe. I really just hope that anyone in your position feels SAFE enough to stand up for a simple choice you have made in order to resolve a relatively small problem of finding appropriate shoes for the summer.

I am going to be blunt, but I would say your husband needs to get a grip and worry about more important matters other than what kind of shoes his kids wear! Are you kidding me?! Is that all he has to worry about? Talk about nit picking........

c'mon they are shoes and this really shouldn't be as big of an issue as it is. I am not a huge fan of crocs myself, not because they are ugly or anything but because they cost so much and I could never justify paying for them especially for my girls because they are going to only get limited use out of them before they grow out of them. I would not bring them back, stand your ground on this one. Really, it's not a big deal, and you are absolutely right that he'll be able to wear them in the water, at the beach, by the pool, etc. They are easy to slip on/off. I got my girls alternate versions of crocs for less money as well and I am glad I did because they are convenient. Good luck with this situation and I hope it gets better for you soon.

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