Dream About an Ex .. What Does It Mean?

I think it's more like the dream was 'Whew! You dodged THAT bullet! Thank goodness that's all over and done with!".
You broke up with this guy for a reason.
He's probably a perfectly nice guy but just wasn't right for you and you weren't right for him.
Leave the past where it is.
Keep moving forward!

I have an old boyfriend who's on his 2nd marriage.
(His mother still sends me Christmas cards although I haven't talked to him in over 25 years).
I know EXACTLY why he's divorced and will probably divorce again.
I wish him well but there is NO WAY I'd ever consider contacting him again.

This dream (and your feelings) is not about your old boyfriend. It's about who YOU were when you were with him, who you were then.

It's healthy, essential even, to think about and learn from all the different yous you will be throughout your life.

No worries. As long as you don't act on it.

:)

Dreams don't MEAN anything. They're just your brain clearing out random scraps of information that it's been storing.

This is from dreammoods.com:

Ex Boyfriend
To see an old ex-boyfriend from childhood in your dream refers to a freer, less encumbered relationship. The dream serves to bring you back to a time where the responsibilities of adulthood (or marriage) did not interfere with the spontaneity of romance. You need to recapture the excitement, freedom, and vitality of youth that is lacking in your present relationship. If your ex-boyfriend hurts or ignores you, then the dream is telling you to move on with your life and stop thinking about your ex. To dream that you are kidnapped by your ex-boyfriend suggests that your ex still has some sort of emotional hold on you. If you dream that you want your ex-boyfriend back, then the dream may reflect waking feelings of actually wanting him back. Alternatively, it means that you miss being in a relationship and to feel wanted.

To dream that your ex-boyfriend is giving you advice about your current relationship suggests that your subconscious is telling you not to repeat the same mistakes that you had made with this ex-boyfriend.

To dream that you are being massaged by your ex-boyfriend suggests that you need to let go of some of that defensiveness that you have been putting forth as a result of a past relationship. You may have put up a wall or armor around you. You need to learn to trust people again. To dream that your ex-boyfriend is admitted into the hospital means that you are still dealing with the break-up. There are still some unresolved issues left hanging. If he is released from the hospital, then it means that you have totally let go of the relationship. You have moved on. If you dream that your ex-boyfriend is dressed in a suit at a hospital, then it suggests that you have come to terms with that relationship and have completed the healing process.

To dream that your ex-boyfriend is giving you a ring or proposing to you implies that your relationship with him made you feel whole and complete. The dream does not necessarily mean that you want to be together with him again, but that you are longing for a relationship that makes you feel complete. Alternatively, the dream may reflect a final end to something and the beginning of a new stage. You are ready to move on from your ex. By him proposing to you, the power is on your side whether you say yes or no.

Ex Husband / Ex Wife
In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream indicates that you are currently finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable. Alternatively, dreaming that you are together with your ex-husband/wife implies that you are subconsciously repeating the same old patterns from that relationship to your current relationship. You are making the same mistakes and reacting the same way.

Dreaming about an ex does not mean anything more then that he was simply a part of your life at one point. That said, there is no shame in looking him up on Facebook if you want to reconnect. I am friends with my first love on Facebook and we talk on the phone every so often. My husband is not at all threatened by it because he understands that he is a ex for a reason, but that does not mean he does not still hold a place in my heart. If you think your husband might take issue with you looking him up though just talk to him about it first and respect his wishes.

When I have a dream about someone I haven't seen in a long time, I normally end up bumping into them. Not always, but it has happened quite often.

Maybe you feel guilty because it has made you think of him and the feelings you had which seems wrong to you since you are married now. You aren't doing anything wrong....can't help what comes up in your dreams. I think it is normal to wonder how someone you knew long ago is now. I have tried to look up several old friends, both male and female, just out of curiosity.

A pragmatic approach--

A dream is a dream. You can choose to get hung up on it and think about him (because we can choose what we focus our thoughts on) or you can take it for what it is, just a dream.

I recently came across an old love online. That is, I stumbled across an ad for his business. While I was momentarily curious, I decided that it was just a little coincidence (didn't imbue it with more meaning than necessary) and just focused my thoughts on how happy and content I am with my husband. Within a day I had really forgotten all about it. I am SO glad I did not end up with the fellow in question. It's normal to be curious but I'd say, put it to rest in your head. Even if you knew if he was married or had kids or not-- it's not information you can do anything with anyway.

Go and Google him. I'd say the chances are pretty good that 20 years later, he's either bald, fat or both. Same with his wife (haha). It will put your mind to rest and maybe even put a smile on your face.

Don't be guilty or ashamed. You can't erase your past.

I have experienced similar situations. I was in therapy when this first happened and still see a counselor. What I learned is that one of the tasks we have in life is to integrate past experiences with present life. Dreams are one way of doing this. Dreams give us other messages as well. I have frequent dreams of my parents and grandparents. I think these are a part of my grief process as well as making a connection between those events and who I am currently. Much of who I am was developed through those relationships.

A part of integration is making sense of what has happened in the past. The person you are dreaming about was an importantly relationship not only at the time but is still important in a passive way because it had an important part of who you are now.

I also learned that our first love stay with us our entire lives. I have found that I remember that first man in more detail and with more fondness than I remember any other loves. Even when I'm in a good relationship that person can be in my thoughts.

There can be many positive reasons for having that dream. Of course I do not know why this would be happening now but I suggest it could be in part because you feel secure in your relationship with your husband. You may be moving in the direction of more understanding of your life. Perhaps a step towards emotional maturity.

I also believe that its normal to wonder how people in your life are now. Iook up people from my past on facebook to know who they are now.

I can never resist answering a "dream analysis" question :)
I have very detailed dreams and I often reflect on their meaning, even kept a "dream journal" for several years, which really helped me start to figure them out.

I agree with what osohapi found on "dreammoods (never heard of it, I
ll have to check it out!), and also Theresa. It is more about what that time represents, and about who you were at that time. I often dream about my ex from when I was 19/20. That is such a ripe age for self discovery, and there is a lot of personal growth that goes on during your first "real" relationship. It is probably more about that.

I also often dream of a faceless "new relationship" I am just starting out, and I am usually around that same age, 19/20. Then the dream morphs and I realize I am a grown-up with a husband and kids. I think I dream that because it is feeling that can never be duplicated again once you are old and married, so I get "re-experience" it in my subconscious now and again, which is nice. So your dream could also be about that, trying to experience something you don't have anymore (not in a bad way, in my case I feel very happy with my current state of life, and husband, so I never feel bummed out or anything when I wake up).

Personally, I see nothing wrong with looking up old flames on Facebook or whatever. I think it's nice to see people who were important from your past and what has become of them. I also disagree with people who feel good about seeing their exes get fat or bald. Or feeling happy that they dodged a bullet (no offense B and mommyof1). I am in touch with both my exes on FB and occasionally an email. Whenever I see pictures of them I think they still look great and I wanna pat myself on the back for picking out such handsome dudes. And they both seem to have healthy relationships with nice-looking wives, one has a a super cute kid, they enjoy and are successful in their careers. I think I could have been perfectly happy married to either one of them. So no bullet dodging there :) Does this mean I have any issues with my own relationship? Nope, my life path led me to another great guy and I am very happy married to him. Like you, I no longer have feelings for them, other than a great fondness. I hope my exes think the same way about me!

I think you should look him up (since you seem to have a healthy view of your past relationship and are happy in your current one).

Only you know why he popped into your dream out of nowhere, and maybe reading this thread will help you identify that (and most of us are saying it seems to have nothing to do with your feelings toward HIM, more about your feelings about yourself, when you were dating him.

PS don't be surprised if he comes into your dreams more often now that you are reflecting on it :)

I periodically dream about being happily (or at least resignedly) married to my ex. I also dream as often about still being in high school. Or working at my first real job where my boss never wore shoes. Aren't brains weird?

Memories can't be erased, that person was a part of your life and some things remain in our sub conscious, after all the human mind is a complex thing. Accept the dream instead of denying/brooding over it and MOVE ON dear it was involuntary.
Wishing you even more happiness in your marriage :)
P.S if you can't help yourself google him up, you might be thankful for marrying your husband :)