Attitude & Moods
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Talking Back
Asked by D.G. from Lansing
on April 14, 2009
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My 3 year old is unbelievable with her talking back to me. She says things like "You like it when I mess up, don't you". Or "just because your the oldest doesn't mean...
Answers
- Take her aside and explain, "Yes; I'm the mom and you're my child and I DO have to tell you what to do most of the time" and explain that being sassy will get her time...
- Hello D., She is doing this for attention. Negative attention is better than none. Ignor her completely when she sasses or does other negative things for attention. D...
- I have a little spray bottle that has vinegar in it. When my boys take on a disrespectful tone of voice with me, I calmly bring them into the kitchen and they get a g...
Talking Back
Asked by N.K. from New York
on November 25, 2008
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My 4 1/2 year old son is constantly talking back and always has to have the last word. To an extent I imagine this is normal "I am the center of the universe" behavio...
Answers
- Hi N., I agree with Diane. Consistency and consequences. My daughter gets privilges taken away from her if she talks back to me or I send her to her room until she ch...
- N., Sometimes you have to sit them down in a room that is distractionless (like I would use the kitchen floor in a pinch). Sit face to face, Indian-style, knees to...
- My daughter has been the Queen of Negotiation since she left the unterus. Everyone says she should be a lawyer, so it's not that bad (unless u live with it, right?). ...
My Teenager Is Rude
Asked by T.B. from Visalia
on April 4, 2008
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I'm a 46 yr old single mother of a 15 yr old girl, and a 2 1/2 yr old girl also(Wow...yeah, they're far apart in age). My troubles? Let's put it this way:
The BABY is...
Answers
- Wendy, As a mother of 3 son's, now out of the teen years, in other words having lived to tell about it thus far, lol... the best advice I can give you at this point...
- It's no surprise a baby is easier than a teenager but it sounds like you're forgetting you're the parent. You need to set realistic rules for her to follow and stick ...
- Oh I feel the pain you must be experiencing! Your daughter may look, act, and sound like she has grown up, but inside her is still a scared kid, trying not to show it....
Talking Back Issues
Asked by J.M. from Kansas City
on March 17, 2007
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My son recently turned 6 and has begun talking back all the time. I am not sure if I should ignore the behavior, or if I should punish him for it. Simply talking to hi...
Answers
- I disagree with the woman who suggested ignoring bad behavior. Your son is testing the limits. In a way, he's trying his wings and wondering how far he will be allowed...
- I have a 7yr old and have the same problem. I have a friend who had the same problem with her son. I'm being to believe that it is just an age thing. But I would sugg...
- My son is 4 1/2 and he has started this recently too. He goes to preschool so I think it's something he's picked up there. We have always done time out for him, so I j...
What to Do with Talking Back
Asked by J.S. from St. Louis
on August 20, 2007
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I have a 5 year old who has been responding with "I hate you" everytime he is told "no." We originally decided we would ignore the behavior hoping it would go away--t...
Answers
- J., I would absolutely address it immediatelly and tell them that it is inappropriate and unacceptable behavior, that it is disrespective and rude behavior and then...
- I had a similar problem a while back. Best response I found was to say nothing, go to the kitchen sink get the handsoap, walk over to him and put it in his mouth. It...
- My son is also 5 and we are having the SAME battle. We started putting soap in his mouth after taking things away and time out did not help. This seems to be working s...
Dealing with Back Talk
Asked by M.H. from Iowa City
on February 7, 2008
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My four and a half year old, who is bright and happy, has become a bit of a back talker lately. For the past few months, he has added the words "hate" and "stupid" to ...
Answers
- I'm a single mother of 4. Ages 14, 10, 7, and 4. One of the most serious offenses in my household is disrespect. Talking back is absolutely not allowed. Not to the wom...
- He is obviously hearing the words he is saying from somewhere. If possible, eliminate the source of new information. If that's not possible, try to explain to him th...
- I completely understand. My four year old uses the same terminology. He takes it a little further though,he tells me and my husband to "shut-up." We've also given him ...
My Seven Yr. Old Talking Back
Asked by M.C. from Honolulu
on July 31, 2009
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Hi Moms
My second grader will not do simple tasks without talking back to me. I apparently have been arguing with her for so long, that I have to catch myself trying ...
Answers
- Hi, I'm a single mom with a 4 yr. old son. I have learned that little boys love to challenge their moms(verbally). So, at the advice of his godmother, I have learned ...
- Mary Beth C Your daughter sounds like a fighter, however, back-talking should never be allowed for any reason. When my children, now grown adults, were little I ga...
- Try this: Make up a name of a club that sounds cool and the way she earns her membership in the club is by doing things the FIRST TIME you ask (30 times). Make a chart...
3 Year Old Talking Back
Asked by S.S. from Kalamazoo
on November 18, 2008
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I have a 3 year old that is talking back all the time. If he is told to do something he will say "don't tell me to..." or "I don't have too" I feel that I have tried ...
Answers
- S., I have had this before too. My 4 year old still tests me. I stop him right in his tracks and stop everything going on and he has to sit in the chair alone and th...
- Hi S., He's right on schedule. Right around 3 years old is when children realized they are a separate person not an extension of mom. Then they start testing this n...
- Hi S., My son went through the same thing about the same time. I found that if I gave him options he did better. Even if it was picking up his toys. I would tell h...
Help with 5 Year Old Talking Back to Teacher & Parents
Asked by L.K. from San Antonio
on August 18, 2009
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My 5 year old daughter talks back whenever she doesn't get her way or gets an answer she doesn't like. Time outs don't seem to help. How do I get her to stop making ug...
Answers
- In my work as a therapist, I talk to children about "The Magic Three": Good faces, good voices and good words. I tell them they can say anything to their teachers/pare...
- The talk back beast rears its ugly head every once and again in our home, and right now our 11 year old is struggling with this. Be prepared for it to come back later...
- bad choices = bad consequences, start taking things away from her, whatever she likes.
Rude Behavior
Asked by G.L. from Denver
on February 20, 2009
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Hi Ladies,
Over my life as with everyone else I have had to deal with rude behavior. But when it happens with your family it seems to make it worse. Over the last few...
Answers
- To quote Dr. Phil, you teach people how to treat you. It is perfectly acceptable (and healthy!) to put up boundaries with others, and even distance yourself if need be...
- Oh yes, the MIL DIL relationship, not an easy one. :) If you can, do your best to step back from the situation when it happens and realize that they are her issue...
- For 20 years I was married to a man whose mother was routinely rude. Add to this the fact that she believed her 8 children were the finest people God ever sent to the ...
