Divorced? What Is You Visitation Schedule for the Kids?

My son is at his dad's roughly every other weekend. He used to also be there on Wednesday night- but just when it would be a routine, something would come up and gradually they would just keep canceling, etc. ( I think they don't like having to get up extra early to get him to school the next morning- it throws off their 'routine') .

Everytime anyone talks to my ex and his wife, they go on and on about how hard it is that they don't get more time with his son and how much they wish they could see him more- but they never really TRY to spend much more time with him or make a lot of extra effort about it. It seems like when it is easy for them, they do it, but we are constantly having to readjust things around their schedule.

My son also goes with his dad for a week in the summer. Again, I would be happy to have him there longer, but they have never asked to take him longer.

It's good to have everything in writing- but we are also flexible on the little things, like Memorial Day, etc. I usually end up with my son for the random days off school that seem to come up all the time. We alternate major holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving every other year, which has always worked out well.

Just remember that the goal is for the visitation to be stable and predictable for your kids. If he can't be absolutely sure he can commit to taking them on a certain day, he should not get the kids hopes up! A good mediator should understand that- you want to be fair, but the kids are the most important thing here!! Good luck!

hi there,the way me and my ex do it but im not sure how old ur kids are mine are 14&15 so we do twice a month and split the summer time in half because i live 5hours away from my ex so we try too work it out for the kids the best we can.good luck

My orders read something to the effect of "unless otherwise agreed, visitation is to be granted each Sunday between the hours of 4:00 pm and 7:00 pm in the custodial parent's home". Essentially granting him a minimum visitation if we can't agree to other times.

Given my ex-husband's general disinterest in the whole thing (he didn't even bother to show up to the hearing) I was able to convince the judge to give us a non-standard visitation agreement. It didn't make sense to have my child "available" for visitation that was never going to occur. In 2009, he saw her 5 times...and just once so far in 2010. Certainly not for lack of me accomodating his time--I think he has only shown up at the desginated time once.

I chose the time that I did, because it made the most sense for his work schedule and it was something easy for me to follow. I would never do anything to keep him from seeing her, but given that I am the parent 24/7...I can only be so accomodating. He has chosen not to be involved more.

Standard visitation applies in Texas when the parents are unable to come to an agreement. I found this one online and is very similar to the information from my attorney.

The standard child custody order for parents who live less than 100 miles apart presumes that a child age 3 or older will live most of the time with one parent and the other parent will have visitation on the following schedule:

Weekends starting at 6:00 p.m. on the first, third and fifth Friday of each month and ending at 6:00 p.m. on Sunday (an option is to start when school is dismissed on Fridays)

Thursdays during the school year starting at 6:00 p.m. and ending at 8:00 p.m. (option: beginning when school lets out and/or ending when school resumes, usually on Friday morning).

From 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. on the child’s birthday. Fathers have possession for Father’s Day from 6:00 p.m. on the Friday before Father’s Day until 6:00 p.m. on Father’s Day. Mothers have the same period for Mother’s Day.

In even-numbered years: Dad has the child during Spring Break, Mom has the child for Thanksgiving, Dad has the child for Christmas from the time school lets out until noon on December 28, and Mom has possession from December 28 until 6 p.m. on the day before school resumes.

The use of “Mom” and “Dad” is for an example only—it could be reversed depending on who has primary custody. In odd-numbered years, the holiday schedule is reversed.

The parent with visitation has the child for 30 days during the summer. If that parent gives notice before April 1, he/she can designate the 30 days during the summer when he/she has possession in up to two separate periods of at least seven days. If no notice is given, he/she has possession from July 1 until July 31.

In the event that push comes to shove...I document everything. Every visit, every time he said he was coming and didn't, every call. Luckily it doesn't take much time on my side since he doesn't do much...lol.

I don't know how far you live away from each other so I don't know what is reasonable :) I can share what I have had - every other weekend, one evening during the week (same one every week), and every other holiday. Believe me, I get the whole follow through/not follow through thing and I have dealt with crying kiddos when daddy doesn't show. However, I always kept a journal of who got picked up when and what time so if I had to go back to court later, I had a written record. When he doesn't show for visitation, I would wait 15 - 20 minutes (anybody can be late) and then I would let the kids know that something came up for dad and it wasn't going to work out this time and find something for them to do that was fun. I never bashed dad for not showing up (at least not in front of the kids) and let them make their own decisions as they were growing up as to what kind of relationship they wanted to have with their dad. If he continues to be inconsistent, they will stop wanting to go and that will be that.

Good luck :)

Hi C., I have my 2 kids full time and my ex has them consistantly every other weekend. We "share" holidays. The good thing about us is we are very understanding of each other's schedule so we are flexible and are able to communicate and work well with each other. That being said, my husband's ex is the ex from hell and fights him on every single issue. Their current custody is during school, he (we) have their daughter Monday after school until Friday mornings. Her mom gets her every Friday after school and has her during the weekend and then takes her to school Monday morning and we get her back Monday after school. We get her only one weekend per month, the 4 weekend of every month and the mom gets her the thursday night before that weekend. Confusing. During the SUMMER, it is every other week, exchanging her every Friday at 5pm.

My biggest advice to you is to get it in black and white in the court order and make it very clear so there is no room for "interpretation". My husbands ex reads into every little thing and it's her way or the highway so he has had to ask the Judge to literally make it practically say day by day who gets her, for every holiday, school break, etc. Which is sad, but has to be done or she will take advantage of it.

Its a tough situation and I wish you the best! Good luck!

We really have the standard visitation schedule of every other weekend and tuesday night at dad's house. It is just something that was put in the papers to suffice the court because we are both pretty flexible. I work with his schedule and he works with mine and we go from there to determine what is in my son's best interest.

My daughter goes to her Dads every other weekend and every Wed night. He gets her for 3 weeks during the summer. We split Thanksgiving & Christmas into 2 sections... we split Spring Break in half.

my ex has extended visitation which he doesn't comply. We are in the process to get visitation and child support modify since it's been more than 3 years plus my son was diagnosed with autism and has to have a special diet and supplements. my son just turned 5 last week.
He is "Supposed" to get him every 1,3, and 5th weekend starting after school lets out until Monday morning when he drops him off at school. Tuesday from the time school lets out which is 11 am until 4:30, Thursday over night. Holidays we alternate with even numbered or odd numbered years. Christmas is supposed to from the time school lets out until the 26th.

the rest is standard except summers is supposed to be for 45 days which he has never gotten him 1 day extra from what he has during the school year, he has never gotten him during the holidays except for christmas day he will pick him up at 2pm and stay the night and thanksgiving he hasn't ever gotten him during the week like he's supposed to. He only get's him either in the morning until 4 or this year got him at 4 and stayover until 9am the next day. Fathers day weekend he is supposed to get him that friday until monday morning which he didn't want him except for the day of father's day. He is supposed to have him 6-8 pm for his bday and when it's not his day which he has never gotten him during that time. He wanted to rotate tue/thurs night stayovers and i told him he needs the consistancy esp since he's special needs.

I would say do what is best for your child's best interest no matter if he thinks your being selfish. Mine said the same thing and i said the only thing that matter is what's best for my son.