Sample Schedules for 50/50(Ish) Custody

How old is the child? True 50/50 is swaping the child every Friday. That way there is more consistancy and not going back and forth so much. My cousin did the 3 days on, 2 days off and it was horrible for the kids. Just when they felt settled in a home, they had to go back to the other one. Swapping on Friday, its easy to make plans for the weekends you have the child and its easier all around. Good luck.

The less a child has to change back and forth, the better. It's fine to do 50/50, but swapping every other day, etc, will eventually be very stressful for her. I've seen it work a lot better to go week by week, as several people have suggested below.

And no, a child does NOT need ONE home to be their home and the other place a place where they "visit." This is what my husband has with his oldest daughter and his terrible crack-head exwife (who currently doesn't have custody, and he is in court trying to gain custody of his own child...how messed up...when he's the responsible parent, blah blah, sorry for ranting.)

ANYhow, not counting the years here and there where his ex-wife completely kept them apart, his visits were every other weekend and every other holiday. Now, at the age of 10, she is beginning her "every other weekend" visits again (thankfully, since mom is out of the picture for the time being) and I have heard her refer to it as a "sleepover" and a "visit." I think that's incredibly sad. This is her father.

Just want to reiterate how lucky you are to get along with your ex and have that amicable relationship, because I am currently living in a nightmare of what can happen if you don't. Make sure you say a prayer of thanks!

It's super h*** o* the kiddo's if they don't have 1 home and the other home be where they visit. I've seen it over and over and over. I suggest that you guys sit down and decide how to do this amicably since you've already got it in the decree.

My friend that has the 50/50 where they have exactly the same amount of time has a daughter that wakes up at her house in the morning and starts crying the entire morning begging her mom to let her stay at home and not make her go to her dads. She wants to be able to be with her things and to play with her friends and just be at home. When she turns 12 she has already told her mom she is going to walk to the court house and tell the judge she wants to have 1 home and she hates her dad because he makes her leave her house every other day.

This is a girl who is loving and kind, patient and sweet, one of the best behaved kids I have ever met. Her dad is not mean or uncaring. He takes her places and plans activities, he sits and does her homework with her, he is a great dad. BUT she wants to have just one home and to visit the other. She does not want to wake up someplace new every day.

My friends mom was in the hospital about to die and he told her she could of course go to California. BUT she couldn't take their daughter because of the court order. She can't go on vacations, she can't go for a long weekend, nothing.

So the two of you need to sit down with a calendar and plan for the whole year. It may take a couple of hours so you might put your child with a baby sitter and hash it out even if it takes several hours.

Planning this so she is better off and happier is the best way to go. Even if she wants her "home" at daddy's house.

My niece was a daddy's girl and my sister is a Jehovah's Witness. So their daughter went before the judge at age 8 and told the judge a long list of reason's she didn't want to live with her mom. It tore my sister's heart in half. But the judge found for the ex and gave him custody. The custody was not anything that was one sided, both parents were good parents so it was not just based on my niece's testimony.

Work this out on the calendar and make sure it's in the best interest of your child and that you both get times for at least a whole week from a Friday until the 2nd Sunday or more. That way vacations and trips can be planned ahead.

When we started joint custody, we agreed to alternate full weeks, so he would pick her up from school Friday and have her all week; then, I would pick her up from school Friday and have her all week. When his work situation and her school changed, we switched to where I have her Sunday night - Friday morning (drop her off at school) and he picks her up from school and has her through Sunday. From her feedback, she doesn't feel like one home is "more" her home than the other, which was a major concern for us.

If it's not too disruptive to the kids, maybe you can look at something along the lines of full week on/full week off.

Originally, we had 50/50ish arrangement. For us (our kids were 12 & 14) and he could have them Tuesday and Thursday nights and then every other weekend.
We alternated holidays - split Christmas break and each would get 10 consecutive days in the summer for vacations.

Get something in writing you can live with in case you two have a breakdown in communication then you can always fall back on it.

My brother did/does it this way..I think they have tweeked it a little as she gets older, but it means that she gets to see them both every week and also during the wkend and weekdays....and limited her moving around as much as possible. The mom also moved to the same town which has helped soooo much....now the child can still see all of her friends and play and do activities as a "normal" kid.

DAD: Sunday PM (around 1/2pm) to Wednesday PM (now that she's in school it's until 3PM, when school gets out.)
MOM: Wednesday PM - Saturday PM (around 1/2pm)

Alternate Saturday nights

good for you for trying to make it best for all involved! Again - the least amount of moving around the better for the child. every other day would be soooooo hard! no sense of security I wouldn't think.

How old is your child? My sister and her husband lived down the street from his ex-wife. His kids were supposed to alternate weeks. But the kids went where they wanted if parents were home. They were 6 and 9 at the beginning and are now 20 and 23. They only losely followed the alternate week thing.

It's much tougher on the kids as they get older and begin school. I would try to work around your child's preferences. She didn't ask for this arrangement, she'll be the on who'll forget her favorite sweater or toy at the other parent's house and be missing it until she gets back there, etc.

On the positive side, most of the kids I know who live with this split custody arranment (three sets of nieces & nephews) have turned into lovely young people - no different than kids who don't change houses every few days. But it was due to their parents love for them and interest in their well-being. I think you seem to be working it out pretty well now with 2 parents who just want the best for their child. As long as her best ineterests are primary you'll both figure out a way to make it work.

Kudos to you mama for doing what's best for you child!

We have a 50/50 arrangement for our girls. They are teenagers and my ex and I live relatively close to each other so our schedule works.

We each have the girls for a full week every other week (Sunday evening to Sunday evening). We rotate holidays each year so one of us will have them on Thanksgiving Day and the other Christmas Day.

The week on/week off was very weird for me at first because I missed seeing my girls. However, cell phone technology makes it easy to stay in touch and check on them during the weeks they are not with me. Now, a few years later, I enjoy having a childless week to myself because it gives me time to focus on me without having to feel like I'm neglecting my children. :-)

We switch week on & week off.

Monday - Monday

I never had anything close to 50/50 with my son's dad (and we live in a different state now, so its a mute point), but my step-brothers went back and forth to their mom's when we were kids, and pretty much everyone around was on some kind of shared time.

One thing that worked well (and the only kids who ever said they lived both places... rather than "visited" the other parent) was to have one set and one shifting exchange day. So you each get her 4 days one week and 3 days the next. For example Saturday as a set day, then Monday/Tuesday as the shifting day. So one week she's with you Sa, Su, Mo, Tu then goes to dad for We, Th, Fri, then back to you Sa, Su, Mo, then to dad Tu, We, Th, Fri, then back to you like the first week.

You'd both get one weekend night with your daughter, and one weekend night on your own, and you are 50/50 for days, without her having to go back and forth every other day.

My ex and I do 50/50 week on/week off. The switch is on Friday, so on Friday afternoons he picks them up and it is his week until next Friday, but I am lucky in that my schedule allows me to be available when school lets out, so they come to my house after school even on dad's week until he gets off work.

My boyfriend also has a 50/50 arrangement, but his is a little different, their switch day is Monday but they trade off Wednesdays, so he has them M,T,TH,F,S,S,W (I hope that's a little clearer than mud, lol) and their mom babysits them while he is at work (I say babysit because she charges a hefty fee and to me, there is no fee for mothering.)

I would like to add that NONE of the 6 children we have between us who are involved in 50/50 parenting time (we have a total of 7, but my oldest sons dad is a Summer/Christmas parent) have shown any signs of not feeling 'at home' at both parents houses, they even refer to both places as home...I tend to think that is a condition brought on (possibly unwittingly) by one of the other of the parents.