Disagreeing with Hubby About What's Age Appropriate

With scary movies I think it has less to do with age and more to do with that individual kid. My younger son loves the goosebumps series and enjoys getting a little scare from a movie, while my oldest can not handle anything truly scary, although both the Hobbit and Harry Potter were no issue (they were a little older though, maybe 7 and 9 when we watched harry potter). I would start light (something just mildly scary) and see who they do and then you can increase the level of scary if they do okay.

With few exceptions, we tend toward the following the MPAA ratings on movies. The kids are more comfortable following those ratings as well. It gives them a baseline of appropriateness when they're looking on Netflix for something to watch. The Hobbit, As a PG-13 rated movie, well...I'd be inclined to wait. I might let it slide by a few years and watch with a 10 or 11 year old, but not a 2 or 5 or 7 year old. It's not just about language or sexual content, it's also about intense themes that a young child is not ready to understand.

Wow, I am really surprised at how many responders think it would be no big deal to show any of the movies you mentioned to small children. None of those movies is appropriate for kids that are your kids' ages. There are movie ratings for a reason. And there are so many age appropriate choices! I think you should definitely stand firm on this.

Why does everyone think the Hobbit is a kids movie? Sure it's ok for kids a year or two younger than Lord of the Rings, but this movie is not for little ones at all!!! If he really wants to show them the Hobbit he can find the 1977 cartoon, but the live action version from 2013 is not for little kids.

My husband is also always trying to push the envelope on movies. What really woke him up is that recently our almost 9 year old repeats so much of what he hears - and, of course, he only repeats the wost of what he hears. He's also a bit too aggressive in his play. He just really wants to play out what he watches.

There are so many movies out there that are completely age appropriate. I understand my husband wanting to share certain movies with our kids, but some of the movies will be absolutely fine in a couple of years. Showing them too soon is just asking for trouble.

Here's a few movies that my boys (6 and almost 9) love that are rated PG and are live action:

Back to the Future
The Spy Next Door
Spy Kids
The Pacifier
Agent Cody Banks
Night at the Museum
The Parent Trap
Freaky Friday

I just think there are lots of movies they can watch with you that are completely age appropriate. Save the older movies for later.

Why do YOU get to be the boss of your kids? They are his kids too. No wonder he's pissed.
My husband let our kids watch things I never would have. I wasn't happy about it but I knew he had some parental rights.
My children learned pretty early on what they could tolerate, they're pretty smart that way. Just like when I was a young kid and watched The Exorcist. YIKES! I didn't watch another scary movie for several years after that.
You guys already have problems in your marriage, please pick your battles carefully.
If they have nightmares after watching The Hobbit (which is NOT a horror movie) let your husband comfort them and they all will have learned a lesson.

So let me get this straight, because some site called Commonsense, which apparently has nothing to do with common sense if you have to seek a site to tell you what they think is common sense, agrees with you it is a good site? Well can't argue with that!

Sorry but real common sense is watching the movie yourself and then articulating what you think is soooo scary and allowing your husband to counter argue. Using a website as your common sense is just lame.

I hate that.....why is everyone in such a hurry to rush kids....my hubby wanted to buy a pogo stick for my son when he was three....recommended age was 8-10..poor kid was still bumping into walls just walking.

I don't know how to convince your hubs....but there will be plenty of time for them to enjoy movies together when the kids are old enough. I sure hope he waits until they can really enjoy them.

I agree that it's nice to keep their innocence as long as possible, but if this is really something your husband wants to share with the kids, The Hobbit and Harry Potter aren't the hills to die on.

Why not come to a compromise with him, agree to those two, but no other horror movies. Those aren't horror, they are fantasy, anyway, and both are great literature. Maybe you can begin to read both series to the kids.

My kids had both series read to them when they were quite young. And they were fine. (And they are very literate and did well in school.)

Choose your battles.

The movies your husband wants to watch with your kids are not horror movies. They are fantasy movies. I would have had no problem showing any of them to my daughter. Now if you had said he wanted to watch Friday the 13th, or any of the Nightmare on Elm St movies for example, that would be a big fat no way. Those are horror movies. Pirates of the Caribbean is a Disney movie, it's made for kids. As far as the Hobbit, I don't think a 5 year old will in any way understand a thing that is happening, but IMO it won't hurt to let him watch it.

My kids have seen every single movie you listed except for American Werewolf in London and has enjoyed every single one of them.
Movie ratings have become a joke. What people think is "age appropriate" has become a joke and has gone completely backwards. That website "common since media" is terrible and over states everything. Disney movies I grew up watching and loving as a very young child are suddenly not appropriate because they might get sad over a character dying or there is a scary part where Snow White runs through a creepy forest. It's absurd! I remember watching "The Adventures of Ichabod Crane" when I was younger with my parents. It scared me a little bit. And what did my parents do? They say and talked to me, reminded me it was all pretend, a cartoon like the pictures I color in my color books. I felt better and all was good.
Look up the Jane Fonda movie "Barbarella". The movie came out in 1968. It's rating was PG. Today it might get lucky to get an R but I wouldn't be surprised if it got an NC17 today. It's a wonderful movie!
Instead of censoring things so your child lives a sheltered life, talk about the parts they find a little scary. Explain good vs evil to them. Explain death, which is a part of life, to them. Other than horror movies, I have yet to watch a movie that has a scary moment or 2 that doesn't quickly have a story arch that makes it right.
I'm with the husbands here.

Sorry, but I'm with hubby. I consider every one of the movies you mentioned to be children's movies, and my own children have been watching them for years. My kids and I love horror, but none of the movies you mentioned could possible be considered horror. They are fantasy and adventure. I think many moms want to keep their children babies, but dads don't.

Dear heavens - The Hobbit Book and The Hobbit Movie are on totally different planes. You tell that husband of yours that JRR Tolkien would be turning over in his GRAVE if he saw the movie. That book was written for CHILDREN. The movie is NOT for children. It is just a remake of Lord of the Rings and it is damn scary.

You can find the animated version of The Hobbit. It's not that good, but the music and songs are wonderful. This version of the movie is much closer to the literature. If your husband is into literature AT ALL, then he should actually admit to this. If he isn't intellectual and it's all about scary stuff and special effects, then nothing you say about THAT is going to matter.

I would dig in my heels so hard that his eyeballs would bulge if I were having THIS issue in my house. Stand firm, J..

i think commonsense is a great place to start, but like your dh, i don't think they're all things to all kids.
and i think there's a huge quantitative difference between harry potter and an american werewolf in london. and so much depends on the individual kids, doesn't it? AWiL was REALLY scary and gory for its time, viscerally so. the hobbit, for all of its stupid unnecessary action-and-battle scenes, is nothing like that. harry potter DOES get dark, but that was the sort of thing my kids handled well.
i'm trying to remember what's wrong with pirates!
but you never know. my parents sure regretted letting me watch 'hush hush sweet charlotte' when i was 11, and came screaming into their cocktail party, and had nightmares for weeks. i was SO excited to introduce my older boy to 'the neverending story' but was worried about the wolf. heh. it was the huge turtle that haunted his psyche for years.
can't your husband have a boy-movie night with your son without the girls horning in? i definitely wouldn't let a toddler watch any of these, and i think one-on-one treats are always a Very Good Thing.
khairete
S.

Each person and child is different.
If you have mature children' then they will be able to handle more than a very sensitive child. Or a child that does not have enough comprehension.

I never underestimated our child. I also listened to her.
Harry Potter was not scary because we had read the books and discussed them, before the movies had been made. Same with Lord Of the rings. The choir thing about videos is that they can be stopped, if a child is not able to handle them. We can always walk out of a movie at a theater also..

You are both parents. Compromise on this. Let your husband take full the responsibility for this decision...

I wouldn't consider any of those movies inappropriate for children. If anything, I am not sure that those movies would hold the interest of the younger kids anyway.

I am not super restrictive on tv/movies/radio. I think that you need to have some common sense, but I don't obsess over everything. Obviously, I wouldn't show my kids any of the Hangover movies, but I am also not worried about the Hobbit or LOTR.

If you are really concerned about a particular movie, go look it up on common sense media and see what is said. I agree with your husband...he is not trying to show them super scary movies at all.

Interesting that most folks are choosing to judge your choices regarding what is appropriate, rather than answer what I see was the question you asked (tell me if I am wrong): how can my husband and I work out a compromise if we are in such two different corners about the same issue? Isn't that what was asked? Or are you trying to see if you have standing for your argument (not being snarky here, just trying to answer the actual question you have) :)

As far as the disagreement between you and your husband, I truly believe there is no right or wrong answer here - neither of you is right and neither is wrong - you just disagree. If both of you can look at the dilemma that way, that is a great place to start. Spending too much time on "who is right" never gets the actual problem solved - just leads to hurt feelings. No one knows your family like you do, but I will offer this to see if it helps: my husband is just as capable of raising a good person as I am. If he wasn't, we wouldn't have kids together. We had a similar issue a few years ago regarding sharp tools and lawnmower and such. My husband insisted that our one son could handle all of these things. All I could see was a trip to the emergency room holding three of his fingers in my hand. We "argued" about this for a couple of days on and off (meanwhile, the kids are noticing that we are not acting like a team when it comes to a parenting decision) until I realized that my husband is capable person, too. He didn't want our son hurt any more than I did. I told him that he was going to be the "main decision maker" going forward for all time when it came to all sharp object and fire in our home. All I asked is that he gave good training on how to use the item and he had to be next to him the first few times he did it, and within eye sight what was going on until I felt OK that it was no longer needed. Presto, years later, my kids still have all their limbs :) I think that you should let your husband decide if the kids are old enough, but that you should decide the "how" - for instance, stop the movie a couple of times to talk about what is going on if that makes you feel better, or don't watch right before bed to avoid nightmares. Also, make sure your husband is prepared to "clean up" any issues (if someone has a nightmare, he gets to get up and sit with them) that might come up.

Good luck no matter what you decide!

I don't rely on what other people think is appropriate for my kids. My husband and I are pretty lax on what the kids watch, heck our 8 year old has seen every episode of Criminal Minds - he loves it.

My 11 year old daughter is having her 12 birthday party this weekend (a week early because of dance recital). She asked about watching Mean Girls, but then remembered one of the girls can't watch it. Not a big deal to her - why? Because she knows right from wrong, she knows to turn something off if it crosses the line, and she knows to ask us questions when she is concerned.

So basically if my husband and I are unsure, we watch something first. I can honestly think of maybe 2 things they flat out are NOT allowed to watch - one of them is SpongeBob. Because we think it is THAT stupid. If they want to watch a horror film, so be it. But Harry Potter is not horror and the things that are not age appropriate for your 7 year old will likely go over her head anyways.

Stop making a big deal about it and it won't be a big deal. Making movies forbidden will only make her want to watch them more.

It's hard to tell how kids will react sometimes.
When our son was going through his dinosaur phase (he was 3 or 4 yrs old) we watched Jurassic Park with him.
I thought the T-rex might scare him.
Oh Silly Me!
In spite of eating the lawyer our son insisted the T-rex would be his FRIEND and he'd let him ride him and it would be GREAT!
He absolutely LOVED every Jurassic Park movie there was from a very early age.
Pirates of the Caribbean never phased him (he thought it was way cool!).
Perhaps your kids are ready for it.

With your husband - I'd make it clear that if there ARE ANY issues with the kids having nightmares then HE WILL BE THE ONE who takes responsibility for it and HE WILL BE THE ONE who deals with it in the middle of the night - there will be no waking you up for this.

As far as the Hobbit goes - we loved the book but hated the movies.
Not because they were scary but just because they didn't stick to the story and augmented it beyond recognition.

Is he the kind of guy who would say yes or no to consulting a web site like www.commonsensemedia.org? That site gives its own age ratings and shows the three Hobbit films as being for ages 11 (the first two) and 12 (the final one). It also gives detailed reviews aimed at what parents want to know.

There are also reviews online from Washington Post "Family Filmgoer" reviewer Jane Horwitz and you can search her reviews of films; she generally will list details of any violence/sex/language/smoking/drinking, such as "In battle scenes, several Orcs are beheaded" (which is from one of her Hobbit reviews. I've seen her list things for films (not Hobbit) such as "implied sex" or "extensive drinking and smoking take place" etc. so if you want those kinds of details, that's a good source (but it's not one site, you have to search for the reviews on the Post site).

I would tell your husband that you and he together should see all of any film that is above a G rating that he wants the kids to see, BEFORE the kids ever see it. And that you get right of veto here. A G rating now is for purely the most basic, babyish films, frankly, and PG now has more violence than it did when we were kids. If my husband and I thought a film above G was of interest for our daughter when she was small, we watched it first, which is easy to do now with DVDs (and I even saw a film or two in theatres to be sure it was OK for her).

He may insist that he's seen this or that film so YOU don't need to see it because he says it's fine, or he may complain that previewing films is a hassle. He might even say that "These movies are made from books, they already know what's in the books." He's pretty naive if he does try that, because SEEING violence on screen in front of you, happening in real time, is very different for kids (and some adults) than "seeing" it in your mind's eye while someone reads you a book. Images go straight to kids' minds and they're much harder to shake off than images they formed themselves from being read a book. He's thinking like an adult, not like a child of 7 or 5 or 2. Would he believe that he's off base if he heard if from a guy friend rather than from you? Because frankly, some people don't listen to their spouses but will listen to a friend. Any dads you know who agree with you, and who would tell him he needs to back off?

Also, the Lord of the Rings films are all rated PG-13 for violence; the three Hobbit movies also are all rated PG-13. There really is a reason for a rating system and he doesn't want to recognize that. We know the LOTR films backward and forward because our daughter loves them--but she is 14 and didn't see them until she was 13. They are great but very violent.

I would be concerned that he got mad about your saying no to a movie. Is he a huge, huge movie fan who watches lots and says "I want to share this with my kids, it's just for fun" etc.? Are movies a big part of his life and interest? Movie buffs can have blinders on if they like a film and want kids to see it. My friend had a husband like that, a HUGE movie buff, who felt that his "very mature" son would be fine with very dark, violent films at very young ages, movies like the more recent Batman films (very dark) and others that the mom just felt could wait. She saw no rush to show their kid films dad liked just because son was "mature." Adults often overestimate what maturity means in younger kids -- your son might say, "I understand that it's only pretend and not real" but that does NOT mean his brain is able to stop those images lingering. In my friend's case, she couldn't do much about it because they were divorced and though it worried her, she made a choice not to make that a battle with her ex-husband, who would have turned it into a power struggle.

But you have a chance here to sit down, talk with your husband, and come up with a firm procedure you and he can use to check out films and agree that if you both do not say yes, the film waits.

Your husband is "very mad about it all"? I don't get it, seems a bit over the top to me.

You son is begging for something he doesn't really understand the ramifications of, because your husband has pumped it up. Why isn't reading the book enough for now?

What's a PG-13 rating for if it's fine for a five year old child? In our house most any PG-13 movie is a go after the age of 8-9. At that age they are old enough to know what's for them and what isn't and can make an intelligent, mature choice.

My kids didn't watch PG-13 movies when they were in elementary school. PG only.

My opinion on the Hobbit (we recently read it aloud together and then watched movies together) is that it's not too scary. The 2 year old will have no idea what's going on. The 7 year old my get frightened of the scary Orks. So may the 5yo. Play it by ear and turn it off if it's too much. But it is geared to kids and more fairy-tail-like than the Lord of Rings movies. I told them to wait on the Lord of the Rings movies because we'll read those later.

I do think the Hobbit is too nuanced and mature to be fully absorbed by a 5 year old, so no hurry in seeing it.

We've also been reading the Harry Potter books together, and watching the movies after each. We're in the 4th book now. The first 3 movies and books are absolutely fine for all my kids (9, 7 and 5) and I'm fairly conservative with letting them watch stuff. My five year old of course is not absorbing books at all-mostly because she falls asleep as soon as I start reading, but she likes the movies. The 4th book is OK so far, and well see how the movie is, we may take a break-it is getting more mature now as the characters get older with some bad words, and I think there's going to be a death in this book...

I'm with you on the horror. My son is 7 and expressing an interest. My ex is all excited to show him every horror movie ever made. I FINALLY gave the green light to vintage horror only since it's not slashery. I watched the orginal Nosferatu with my son and it was cute because at first he was all like, "This is dumb and boring" but when the scenes came of him creeping down dark halls my son was getting all scared, and then wanted to sleep with his light on :)

My ex has asked about some more mature horror and I said NOPE. No gory horror stuff any time soon. For many reasons. If anyone whines I just tell them, "Sorry you have such a mean mom, call the waaaaahmbulance."

My husband and I agree when it comes to the kids. Neither of us wants them to see something that they can't "unsee", if you know what I mean. They are now 12 and 15.

My mom took me to see Jaws at night when it first came out. I was about 8. Then immediately after the movie, she MADE me get in the pool...to prove I wasn't going to get eaten by a shark. Can I just say that I was traumatized by that????!!!!!!! Then a few years later she made me go on a date with her to see the original Halloween...on Halloween night! More trauma. lol

So I have never been a fan of horror movies. I close my eyes when the Insidious movie and other previews come on the tv and before a movie starts. I absolutely hate them. Mostly because I'm a Christian and believe evil makes itself known through avenues like that.

All this to say, my husband does like scary movies on occasion and will see them without me. Never any with ghosts or demons, but the Halloween ones and the Jason ones, ones like that. He does agree tho that once you see something, you can't "unsee" it and understands that there are many things the kids don't need to see when they are at a younger age.

If I were you, I would strongly tell your husband that although 'maybe' one of your kids may be ok with it, the others aren't and you would rather save those kinds of movies for them to decide to watch if they want to when they are older. In the mean time, agree to go by the ages set on the movie so there isn't any argument anymore. JMO. Good luck.

IMO, you can't take it back when you've shown young children something that is too much for them. I had a friend whose parents had no filter and now regrets what he was exposed to when he was little re: horror movies.

I would also ask him what is so important to him that this be NOW and not in 2 years when it's something the child can handle better. If he's mad that he can't share these movies with their kid (my almost 7 is not going to see Hobbit soon), then perhaps encourage him to share another hobby in the meantime.

ETA: When my DH and I disagree on something like this, we tend to back each other up on the lowest common denominator. Like my DH feels very very strongly about babies and earrings (doesn't like them) and it was honestly not something worth fighting him about. I respected his wishes that our daughter wait til SHE wanted them. I think that if you and your DH can't at least agree to that level, then you'll have a long road with the kids going to the permissive parent behind your back. Even just last night, I'd told DD no treats and she went to DH. He sent her back to me because he wasn't going to overrule me when I'd already said no. He had to trust that I had my reasons. So this is not just about what's appropriate, but differences in parenting and his willingness to overrule you as it suits him. You need to figure out why and how to work together instead. Do I *always* agree with my DH? Of course not. But we agree on the big things and back each other up on the smaller ones.

I hate horror movies, I'm a vivid dreamer, I can't even watch "creepy" a few hours before bed without my brain freaking out while I'm unconscious. Took me a month to find a time during the day to watch the Doctor Who episode Blink!

I watch things with my oldest (8yo). She let's be know when she's had enough. She knows the consequences if she doesn't let me know and watches anyway. She's much like me and it's all on her at that point, there's very little I can do about nightmares after the fact.

So long as you are watching WITH your children and they can tell you if it's too much or not, then it's up to you.

I have mixed feelings about this in that in the 70s :) when dracula, mummy and frankenstein were big (ha, so to speak) ... we always got to go and watch it at the movies.. and then on Saturday nights, there was creature feature hosted by Bob Wilkens... (wow, showing my age) anyway.... I have always loved those types of movies.. but the movies these days seem more graphic, bloody and violence... and with much violence towards women..
so.......... I am not sure I would allow some horror films to be watched.. then again, I do allow my 13 year old to watch medical type programming that at times has graphic images.... However, bottomline.. If you as a parent don't want your kids watching specific movies, so be it... there will be time down the road when older that if they want to watch that stuff, they will... For now, you are right, what's the rush to expose the kids. plus, every child is different... when I was little... while I knew Frankenstein wasn't real.... I did wonder about Dracula and the possibly of him popping up in our house.... that said.. I don't think I was harmed by watching the stuff.... but I can't say it was a good idea either. so if a parent is unsure as to how their child will react, then I think it's best to just not have them watch the movies at this time and then later down the road, reevaluate the situation...

Harry Potter, Rings, Hobbit, etc...all PG7 or PG 13. I let our kids watch them and they've been watching them since they were 4 or 5. I think kids see the fantasy of it more than an adult.

Sure there are scary things in them but these listed movies are in no way horror J.. They are scifi, suspenseful, and mysterious.

When my grandson was 3 his favorite movie was Ghost Rider. Yes, he loved it. I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear something. I'd go in his room and he'd have it playing on his DVD player. He'd have woken up and went to get it then put it in and fell back asleep. He had a small selection of Disney movies on his cabinet that were his, to ruin or keep nice or play frisby with. They were his movies. But for nearly 6 months every time he could get away with it Ghost Rider was in there playing.

He's fine and not scarred or anything so I guess it didn't mess him up.

To me Horror are movies that deal with Satan and occult things and gore like Freddy movies, which I have never ever ever seen.

My husband has first edition Heinlein books so when Storm Ship Troopers came out he wanted to see how the director and screen writer changed it for the big screen. Heinlein wrote the book to speak to the debate as to whether or not a military force was still needed. If you'd have seen the movie after reading the book you would also have wondered if the director and screen writer every cracked the book open.

The movie, so I hear even though I sat right next to my husband through the whole thing, was basically giant bugs eating people, biting off their heads, crushing them, and so forth.

I sat by my husband with my thumbs in my ears and my fingers over my eyes...I seriously did, I promise. The non gory parts I watched. So maybe 15 minutes of the movie.

To me that is horror. Harry Potter and other movies in that genre are feel good movies, okay, I know that seems odd but think about it.

The bad guy has done so many bad things and hurt people that we stand up and cheer when they're defeated and we feel good about the movie because good conquered evil once more.

So, all in all, J., I'd let the older kid watch the movies and you can too. Just have a task you can do when you feel overwhelmed with the images on the screen or the suspense is bothering you.

If you have hand sewing, crocheting, knitting, reading a book, etc....something you can do while you are still participating by able to distract yourself.

My daughter had a sleep over one time and they wanted to watch this cool new movie. I hadn't heard of it, I was very sheltered and innocent/good little christian woman you know....anyway. The movie comes on and I'm making snacks and stuff and I go in the living room where they all have sleeping bags and pillows and stuffed animals and I see this young man laying on a bed and suddenly an arrow or something comes up through the mattress and it pokes out the front of his throat killing him. I'm freaking out of course and they've all seen it except my daughter so I go back in the kitchen and make brownies, cupcakes, pizza, and more. I wander in when I think it's not horrible and then run quickly back into the kitchen area.

I found something like that to do when my ex wanted to watch The Exorcist. Those sorts of movies bother me because if God is real then so is the other half and they do bad things so demons can take over people and oh my, there I go, that's why I don't watch religious types of horror or suspense movies.

For my family, my daughter (the oldest) was never freaked out by movies and loves fantasy/sci fi and horror movies and has for a long time (she is now 18). My 16 yo son had tendencies towards nightmares and fears when he was young do he didn't watch as many "scary" movies. Scary is in quotes because I don't mean horror movies necessarily but movies like LOTR that have scary creatures and situations. He is fine watching them now but doesn't really like horror (ok with fantasy/sci fi). My 8 yo is in the middle so he has watched Star Wars but not LOTR. And I watched the movies with them and monitored what they could watch.
One thing I don't see mentioned very much is the effect of the sounds in a movie. The directors choose the music of the movie to create a scene and it has an effect on the subconscious, even if you don't listen to or understand the dialog (in the case of the youngest children). Certain sounds can activate the amygdala and we are hard-wired that way. The sound of screaming is going to activate the fight or flight response and certain kinds of music will have the same effect. For a rational adult or older child, this can be controlled; for a younger/less mature child, they don't know how to deal with it.

My hubby & I disagree on this constantly.
Basically he wants to watch what he wants to watch. Period. He watches the
worst stuff & the kids are in the room. I've discussed, argued...all to no avail.
I try to temper/buffer the stuff he has on tv when the kids are around.
I bought a second tv so we could watch different things.
He feels what he watches is ok for our youngest ones. I disagree.
I just make sure he isn't totally off base.
I temper what I can, encourage where I can, let our kids watch their "young"
shows when he's at work etc.
I have found being married w/kids....you can't control another adult...as much
as it would come in handy when we have young kids around so I discuss
w/him what I think is harmful, choose my battles, meet halfway when I think
I can and instill in my kids what good choices. I tell them "oh that's not a
good show but this one is better. But dad watches it. Yes, and he's much
older."

I have a 5.5 yo who has nightmares from Scooby Doo. There is NO way I would let her watch ANY of the movies you have described. I don't do guts or gore so most of the movies your husband likes would never be seen in my house anyway. But, I do watch psychological thrillers, only after the kids go to bed.

I haven't even let her read any of the Harry Potter books because of the fighting and danger that could give her nightmares. We only watch things that are tv safe, but nothing that could be on after 8. It just isn't worth the drama or nightmares that will come up for the next how ever long, sometimes it is days, sometimes it is months. She is still scared to sleep without the light of after she watched one of the new Scooby Doo stories.

This is so interesting to me, my husband & I were just having a convo about this with our now grown kids...I read all the Harry Potters out loud to our family when they first came out & we watched all the movies when they came out too....just yesterday we were all in agreement that the mental images we had in our mind during the scary parts if the books were way worse than seeing it on the big screen?!

So interesting! Everyone's different.

We are also reversed in my husband is the more conservative of us in this area & I always check with him first about the 'scary or lasting impression' factor of movies b/c I generally find it hard to be truly scarred by make believe of TV & Movies...I mean we KNOW they were MADE with a dozen people standing around! Books & words in the other hand leave plenty of fauder for the imaginative mind.

So, I guess I feel overprotective reading this. My newly 5 year old still only watches preschool geared cartoons like leapfrog. My husband picked up the new Spider-Man because my daughter loves him. He watched it ahead of time and decided it wasn't appropriate for her.

Somehow, you need to appeal to his protective instincts. Maybe suggest more age appropriate alternatives. Really, I don't see the point in family movie night when you have a two year old. They really don't need to watch movies anyway, and to me, there aren't any kid appropriate. Movies that hold my attention. If I'm going to spend 2 hours sitting around, it's going to be to watch something I really enjoy, likely r rated and not something I would let my kids see. Maybe you instate family game night instead.

I think that while there is no magic age that is right for every kid, 5 is a little young for horror movies. My son was never into cartoons as a young child so he tended to lean toward real movies (TMNT or Power Rangers vs full on cartoons even if they were those same titles). My daughter however is much more of a cartoon girl and loves TMNT but the new one was a little intense in some scenes (at 8 she's tougher than most boys her age so the content didn't bother her but the intensity did). It's better to err on the side of caution cause they can't "unsee" it.

I would say that if the 2 year old is up and around, family movies should be G rated something everyone can watch. But if the 2 year old is going to bed or napping, maybe a little PG but with a sensitive 7 year old I would not go to PG-13 just yet (maybe if it's something you or hubby have already viewed you could). I have started letting my 8 year old view the PG-13 depending on what it is...she's very mature.

I have to side with you on this - especially since you have a sensitive 7 year old. I'm in the same boat with kids almost the same age. My almost 2 year old and 5.5 year old boys wouldn't scare easily and can watch most movies that would make my 7.5 year old daughter fearful to go to sleep and cause nightmares for weeks. We don't allow those types of movies or games on the premise alone (not age appropriate), however, I'm less inclined to ask others to turn something off when it's like that when it's just my boys around. With my daughter, I'd ask in a heartbeat. Different personalities! Why not suggest you split up one evening and have a movie for your 5 year old and dad and you and your daughter and 2 year old can watch/do something else?