45 answers

Showed the Hunger Games?!?!

My daughter went to a friend's for a sleepover. She has been there before and I like the mom. She's a bit scattered but she is pretty conscientious.

But today I found out from my daughter that they all watched the Hunger Games! I was shocked and angry. The Mom was kind of apologetic but she kept saying it wasn't gory.

I have mot seen the movie but have been warned repeatedly about it.... My daughter is ten. How angry should I be from those of you who saw it??

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I haven't seen the movie but the books were fantastic. The issue here isn't The Hunger Games at all. The mom shouldn't have showed a group of 10 year olds a pg-13 movie without the consent of the rest of the parents.

6 moms found this helpful

My 3,8 & 11 year olds all loved it and want to see it again. My husband and I loved it as well.
It is very well done. The social commentary is striking and wasn't lost on my kids. We had a very intelligent and educational conversation about it.
It wasn't gory at all.

4 moms found this helpful

My 4 year old watches it almost everyday she loves it so much. There are a few parts that are a little gory but it's not really more than is shown on the news now a days.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I haven't seen the movie but the books were fantastic. The issue here isn't The Hunger Games at all. The mom shouldn't have showed a group of 10 year olds a pg-13 movie without the consent of the rest of the parents.

6 moms found this helpful

You might want to see it before you judge how angry you will be. Heck, you might even *like* it! :)

6 moms found this helpful

The movie is rated PG-13. It is NOT appropriate for a 10 year old. My husband tried to talk me into watching this movie and I told him no way - I'm a more sensitive person. He went ahead and watched it himself and then told me that I was right and should NEVER watch it. It's way too disturbing and I would not allow your daughter over at this girl's house again unsupervised. You just don;t show PG-13 movies to kids under 13 without their parents OK. This is common sense. Yes, there are some on here who let their kids watch stuff they are too young for, but that doesn't mean they should show it for all kids that age. You are the mom and you should get to make these choices. Also, talk to your daughter. Let her know what ratings/types of movies she shouldn't view so she can learn to stand up and say - No guys, I don't want to watch this. My daughter is also ten and we've had talks about stuff like this and she has, on a couple of occasions, had to walk away from what others were watching while at a friend/cousins house. 99% of the time, they end up walking away, too and they find something else to do.

5 moms found this helpful

My 3,8 & 11 year olds all loved it and want to see it again. My husband and I loved it as well.
It is very well done. The social commentary is striking and wasn't lost on my kids. We had a very intelligent and educational conversation about it.
It wasn't gory at all.

4 moms found this helpful

My DD is 10. I'd be irritated not to have been asked first, but not furious. My DD has read the book first, and I felt was mature enough to see the movie (we watched it at home with her). My DD was not upset emotionally at all. No bad dreams, etc. One of her friends however, had to stop reading the book because the killing was too much for her to handle. It's a judgment call each parent should have the right to make for their own child, and being any PG-13 movie, that Mom should have Ok'd that with you before letting them watch it. Next time she goes to that friend's house, I would be very clear about movies.

My DD has a friend who's parents (DD told me) allow her to watch any rated R movie she wants. I was skeptical that this was actually true, but when I dropped her off for a sleepover I told her Mom my DD wasn't allowed to watch rated R movies. I just about died when DD's friend looked crushed and Mom addressed her daughter that she needs to go along with our rule. So at least they were respectful to me on that point, but I am STILL floored that their DD can watch whatever she wants, period. You can't count on other families to share the same standards that you have, you have to have that conversation before the sleepover. It's easier when kids are younger, but there is SO much variation on parental allowances and maturity in the tween years.

4 moms found this helpful

at 10 not very. If my children were 10 that is the age that i would let them watch it. Is your daughter traumatized?

4 moms found this helpful

The whole premise of the hunger games is disturbing to me....but I have seen the movie and they did a heck of a job keeping gore out of it. It was meant for younger audiences like 10 year olds. We saw the making of the film and they described how they worked the deadliest scenes so it showed as little as possible as far as blood and gore. It was really well done I have to say...

4 moms found this helpful

Wow! I must admit I am super surprised to read most of the comments here. My oldest daughter is eight and I can't imagine allowing her to watch this movie when she's ten. I have read the book and really enjoyed the movie but people killing other people is not something I would want my daughter to watch and I would be very upset if another parent allowed my child to watch it without asking me first. It is a violent movie with some disturbing images (and a disturbing premise for that matter). I am sure I am on the prudish end of things but I really feel that kids are exposed to too many mature themes too young. They need to be KIDS.

What's done is done though so I would make sure to discuss the movie with your daughter and also let the mother know that you wish she would have discussed this idea with you first and to consult you in the future. Good luck! I too would be very upset.

4 moms found this helpful

You shouldn't be angry.

Your daughter, being 10 years old is old enough to view this movie. It would have been better if she had read the book first, she would have gotten more out of it...but other than that, I think you are over-reacting.

I suggest you guys read the books together. They are VERY good.

4 moms found this helpful

Oh my... she's TEN. What are you so worried about? Was your daughter scared? I was watching Freddy Krueger and laughing about it when I was six, so I'm thinking your kiddo will live after seeing this movie...

3 moms found this helpful

It wasn't gory or bloody gross. If she was understanding the movie , the worst part is the thought that a governmet could pit children against children to the death, just to keep everyone in line. I have read the books as well. I don't think it is going to traumatize your daughter,and it could open a line of communication, ask her about it, see if she can tell you the story, etc. You can turn what you thought might be a negative into a positive.
C. S.

3 moms found this helpful

This movie is not for 10 year olds. This is a movie/book series for teens/adults. Here's the review from commonsense media:

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/the-hunger-...

Notice they say it's IFFY for even 13 year olds. I know some people have shown this to their young kids, but you have to consider the issue of letting your young kids become desensitized to violence. I don't think it's a good idea. It's the same method used to train young kids in armies in other countries. Keep showing them violence until it doesn't bother them and you will have a kid with less capacity for sensitivity and compassion towards others. (Many studies have proven this so it's not just my own theory.) Obviously her watching this one movie will not affect her - except maybe give her nightmares and perhaps pictures in her head she wished she could get rid of. But I would stand firm, teach her what kind of movies she shouldn't be viewing and teach her to say no. I would also think twice before sending her back to this friend's home.

3 moms found this helpful

I would be so angry! You have every right to be angry. I would however ask next time if they will be showing any movies and if so, which ones so you can decide then and there if your child will go. That seems like a really inappropriate movie for a ten year old. Did you talk to the mom at length about how you feel?

3 moms found this helpful

I've seen the movie. I wouldn't let my 10 year old watch it because I know she is very sensitive to cruelty and violence. However, I'm sure some 10 year olds would be fine. It's not the gore so much, as the disturbing premise of the movie (and books, which I have also read). I think I will let her read it and then see it in a year or two.

But the bottom line is, it would have been nice to have had the mom ask you first. PG-13 indicates that under 13 should have parental guidance... and you're the parent.

3 moms found this helpful

Maybe you should read the book and see the movie. This way you will know on your own what it is all about.

I read every book our daughter ever read through middle school, and then I just could not keep up. This was something she and I enjoyed. We liked to discuss the books together.

Our daughter picked out what she was interested in and I never forbid her choices.. Sometimes I may have ,made suggestions, but she had the final say.

Do you all remember when Harry Potter came out? Our daughter was in 2nd grade and it was suggestd to us as a good book to read.. We Loved it..

that fall a bunch of parents came to school and did not want their children to read them or have them read to their children..this went on and on. They had "heard about these books" finally, we convinced these parents to read the books themselves.. They then realized, the hype had been over blown..

When you have children that are very bright, and advanced readers, they are going to understand books that are sometimes recommended for older children.

You know your child the best, but be prepared for them to surpass your expectations and be mature enough to handle more than what you may think. Never underestimate your bright children... And never be afraid to have conversations bout the things they are curious about.

3 moms found this helpful

The Hunger Games Trilogy was on the required reading list for 6th grade in my daughters school, so my she read all 3 books when she was 10. SHe preferred the books to the movie, but the movie is not gory at all. It does have some adult themes that, honestly, unless your daughter is really mature probably went over her head.

Had you communicated to your daughter that this was not a movie you wanted her to watch? Honestly by 5th grade or so I held MY DAUGHTER responsible for speaking up at a friend's house if there was a movie that she shouldn't be watching.

So - I would say you shouldn't be angry at all. I also would say that you should see it yourself, so that you and your daughter can see Mocking Jay together when it comes out next year.

3 moms found this helpful

My 4 year old watches it almost everyday she loves it so much. There are a few parts that are a little gory but it's not really more than is shown on the news now a days.

2 moms found this helpful

I didn't see the movie, but I did read the books. Honestly? There's violence, but no "language" or sex scenes (unless they added them), so it probably wasn't too bad.

I would let this one go because you can't do anything about it now. I would, however, ask the mother ahead of time if she plans to show a movie at the next sleepover. If so, which one. If you're not OK with her selection, let her know then that you would prefer that she find something else or offer to bring a movie that you feel is appropriate.

2 moms found this helpful

There's more shown in most disney movies, in regards to violence.

The premise is extremely disturbing... but the movie was done in such a way that not only was the violence very occluded, but so -in most ways- was the premise.

I was upset when my son was taken to it, before I'd seen it myself, and then after I saw it... no big deal. I'd have allowed him to, anyway. My ticked-off-ish-ness stemmed mostly from the PG13 rating with no check-in with me.

___

Like others... at the same age I was sneaking far worse (horror flicks, and R rated movies... Nightmare on Elm Street, Fish Called Wanda, and Bladerunner as examples to date me). It's not that my son DOESN'T, it's that I wasn't consulted. PG stands for Parental Guidance, not Parents of Friends Guidance. I'll agree to rather a LOT of PG & PG13 films. BUT I want to be consulted.

When at MY house, I always give a short list of movies to the other parents to get their yay/nay. I appreciate the same consideration in return.

2 moms found this helpful

I guess I'm in the minority, but I would have flipped out! I wouldn't see it myself because the basic theme of children murdering children is too disturbing. Yuck. I would never in a million years show that movie to 10 year olds, let alone do it without getting permission from parents. That's a PG-13 movie, so showing it to 10 year olds wasn't appropriate.

2 moms found this helpful

I took my daughter to see it. She was 9 at the time (she just turned 10). She read all three books over the summer. Unless your daughter is extremely sheltered, I don't see that this is a big deal. I think the movie was rated PG-13, mostly due to the story being a little more complex than most kids that age could really understand. It wasn't gory or scary. My daughter isn't all that worldly, but she wasn't frightened or anything. She enjoyed the movie.

2 moms found this helpful

My daughter is 10 and just about every one of her friends has seen the movie and have read the book. Even her teacher was talking to them about the book last year. She has not seen it or read the book, largely because she's not interested. I haven't either, and I'm not either, although I told her if she wanted to so that she could keep up with her friends, I would look into it and consider it. Since she didn't want to see it, I didn't check into it.

2 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't be concerned. Is it a nice, simple, movie? No, but it's not horrible. They did a good job handling the material, and it wasn't gruesome.

The fact is, if your child pays attention to the news at all, they would be aware of far worse things that what THE HUNGER GAMES depicts. If she hasn't yet, suggest she now read the trilogy. Although it's considered YAL, it's a story that appeals to all different ages, similar to the HARRY POTTER series, and has a lot of discussion points that can be brought up, no matter the age of the reader.

My soon to be 9 year old son keeps asking to see the movie and read the books. I want him to read the books before seeing the movie, but I'm holding off on him reading the books just a bit longer. Not because of the topic or anything of that nature. I'm just not sure his reading level ability is where it should be to be able to enjoy the books and get as much as he can from them. I've got him slugging through THE HOBBIT right now, so if he can finish that by the time the first of the movies comes out in December, then I'll let him start to read THE HUNGER GAMES.

Bottom line, I wouldn't be mad. I may speak to the mom again and just say that next time they want to watch a movie, you'd appreciate a heads up before hand, in case it's something you aren't comfortable with.

1 mom found this helpful

Oh I would be livid. Our kids both read the books. I did as well so I knew what they were about. Our youngest is 12. We took her, but we were with her the entire time. I personally don't think would have been appropriate for either of my kids when they were 10. It's what - PG-13 for violence right? If I had thought it was appropriate, it surely would have been one of those movies I wanted to watch WITH my kids - so I could be there to discuss it with them.

The mom put your daughter in a really bad position. If she didn't watch it, the other kids probably would have called her a baby.

We've had tons of sleepovers at our house over the years. If there was ANY question about whether or not a movie would be appropriate, I checked with each parent first - out of the earshot of the kids.

The mom was wrong.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree to making up your own mind. See the movie before an angry rant at this mom. I took my kids(12 and 10) and we saw it in the theater. I did not find it overly violent-and it is really a good story and we discussed it quite a bit as they were a little confused on why the kids were battling in the first place.
This was no worse than Avatar-IMO.
Why don't you ask her if she has any questions about it and if she wants to watch it again with you? Then you could talk it over.

1 mom found this helpful

My 9 yo saw it and didn't have a problem with it and he's been "sheltered" from a lot of movies other parents let their kids see. This is a kid that will be afraid of some halloween decorations that are out at Walgreen's right now. lol So just to give you an idea. I would not be worried about it, especially if she didn't say that it scared her or anything. However, next time at ANY sleepover, just tell the mom that if they decide to watch a movie, to please CALL you first to make sure its ok, no matter what the movie is. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Its a pretty mild PG13. It kind of reminded me of Animal Farm, where the story is made up but has political messages. She should have asked, but I wouldnt be that mad. Watch it for yourself, I really enjoyed the movie. And for all the killing, shes right, there is very little gore or blood. The point of the movie is that the killing they are doing is wrong, so very different in my mind from a horror movie with a lot of gratuitous violence.

1 mom found this helpful

I wouldn’t worry I did not find it gory at all and my daughter (6) watched it with my step daughter (my husband and I were there to explain it). I am sure your daughter knows that it is a movie with actors and not at all based on real events (which if she watches the news that is much much worse).

I think if it were me I would be more upset by a sexual movie or a more violent one (rapes, beatings and lots of blood).

1 mom found this helpful

I think it's not cool to show a PG13 movie to 10 year olds without informing the parents first, no matter what movie it is. You can't change the past, so I would mention to the mom that you don't allow her to watch PG13 movies yet, so please don't show them.

You should watch the movie so you can talk to your daughter about it. It does involve children killing other children for the amusement of adults, and if she didn't understand all the underlying themes of the movie it might be very confusing.

1 mom found this helpful

I second Windy City Mom!

Really, you should watch it and then have a conversation about it with your daughter if you feel there needs to be one. I am a pretty conservative mom, and I don't think I would be upset about it. And yes, I have seen the movie. I DO, however, get your point and I don't think there would be any harm in kindly saying to the mom that next time you expect a better more appropriate movie choice (which it sounds like you already did that?)

I will say this is something I would not show in MY home to a group of 10 year olds. Talk to your daughter and tell her to speak up next time and say, NO PG-13 movies, no violent movies. Do you think that would work? This is hard, because I am overly considerate mom - I call parents before feeding them anything out of the ordinary (ie not just snacks), if we are going to drive anyplace, etc. I do think it was a little inconsiderate, but nothing to be too upset over. Now you know you simply have to ask more questions prior to the next sleepover.

Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful

This is why I don't let any of my children attend sleepovers. Also, I do not think the Hunger Games is appropriate for a 10 year old. I have a very mature almost 12 year old daughter who I have not allowed to see it. I saw it with my 16 and 17 year olds.

1 mom found this helpful

i'm surprising myself on this one, because I am super conservitive about movies.

I have seen it, it isn't a pleasant movie, but It wasn't that bad. There is a leg wound that is gross and some dog like animals chasing them near the end, and the whole over arching theme of death. but it almost comes off more as a wilderness survival kind of movie.

So yes, I wouldn't choose to show this to my 9 yo. and Yes i would be mad if someone else showed it to him, but I"m trying to find that balance were i step back and use it as a learning opportunity and topic of discussion with DD.

If it was a running around playing board games while the movie is on sort of deal It wouldn't bother me as much, if it was a full focus eyes on the screen the whole time I would be more bothered.

But ultimately unless DD is still upset, It's over and you can just be sure to tell that mom next time that it's not ok with you for her to show any movies that aren't rated G or show up wiht your own movie for them to watch.

1 mom found this helpful

See the movie then judge for yourself. It is not that bad and actually has pretty profound commentary on society. Watch it with your child and discuss it.

1 mom found this helpful

It's a great story my 12 year old introduced me to it. I think it would depend on the child my son saw harry potter when he was 8 and 9 but my daughter who is around that age thinks that it might be too scary. If your daughter had an issue with it she should have said something.

1 mom found this helpful

I have not seen the movie or read the books. However, I would not be happy if my child saw a movie beyond their years without my knowledge or permission. The only thing you can do about it now is to talk to your daughter. Ask her if she has any questions, etc. Also, take it as a lesson learned. Ask more questions before the next sleep over.

1 mom found this helpful

well, it doesn't really matter whether it was gory or not, or even whether you find it okay after you check it out.
it's just courteous to inform all the parents of kids coming for a sleepover so they can 'vet' the movie.
i wouldn't turn this into a huge deal, even if it does turn out to be one you'd have had her skip. but do make a point of telling the mother, in your direct-eye-contact and no-nonsense voice, that you would appreciate being informed in the future so you can make your own choice.
that being said, i was *that* mom once, with kids who were so close they were practically mine. i LOVED that neighbor, and our kids were as inseparable as we were. so i was shocked when her husband came over to walk them home one day, and yanked his little girl up and hustled her out of the house, glaring at me and announcing 'we do NOT allow our children to watch that sort of violence!'
it hadn't even occurred to me that teenage mutant ninja turtles were considered 'violent'!
but of course he was right. i was more careful after that.
:) khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

I would be upset that another parent saw fit to show a PG13 movie to 10 yr olds without talking to their parents.

However, what's done is done. So now you teach DD to ask about the rating of the movie and you know to ask if there will be a movie and if so what.

I also think that you should see it and discuss it with your child. Make it a teachable moment.

well.... I loved the books and the movie. My 17 and 18 year olds read the books and watched the movies. My 11 year old really wants to read the books and see the movie but I'm having her wait until she's 13 just to be on the safe side. If I'm on the fence, I error on the side of caution.... but really, it sounds worse than it really is. On the other hand, I probably wouldn't be happy but at the same time, 10 is better than 6...LOL I feel like i'm no help at all but it's really up to each person. You may watch it and think, "oh, it's fine" or you might say"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" It's not that bad though. It's more like a personal preference, I think. Good luck!!

My 9yr old read the book and watched the movie. She was not traumatized by either. In fact, she absolutely loved them and can't wait for the second and third books to come out in paperback. *I* gave her permission to read the book and watch the movie, because *I* felt she could handle it.

I would not have been happy if another parent let her watch it without checking with me first. Other mom should have checked with you first and KNOWS she messed up (thus the apologizing).

Let the mom know you're not thrilled, but, hopefully, no harm was done *this time*, but be wary the next time a sleepover happens at that friend's house.

I had the identical situation happen with my 10 year old daughter. I told her that I didn't appreciate it. It has not seemed to affect her. Maybe it wasn't as bad as we heard?

I would be pretty upset myself, I run down the middle on things like this and prefer to see the film then make a choice for MY kids. I would not make a choice like that for another parent. If movies were an option I would tell the participating parents what movies were on the list as options and go from there. You have EVERY right to be upset, dissapointed and be more weary of this person going forward.

1) I think the irritation here is: the Mom did not say... they were going to watch THAT movie, nor asked you if it was okay for child.
So I would be irritated too, in that manner.

2) But, so well they already watched it. Just talk to your daughter... about it. And perhaps, your daughter did not know, that this movie was off limits, for her?
My daughter is 9 (almost 10), for example, and KNOWS that this movie is off limits for her, even if some of her classmates did see it at the movie theater or at home. She knows that this movie is off-limits for her, BECAUSE, we told her it is off-limits to her when the movie came out last year, we discussed it with her.... Amid all the other kids saying things about it and about the "coolness" factor of it and the popularity factor of it.

3) If it was too gory for your daughter, for example, is she the type that WILL speak up, to her friend and the Mom, and tell them it makes her uncomfortable or it is too scary???
My kids would, for example. Or they would close their eyes. My kids do speak up, to other kids/their Moms, if something is not cool or uncomfortable with them.

4) So the movie came out last year. My daughter was 8 then and in 4th grade. LOTS of her classmates, had read the book, and seen the movie. I talked to my daughter's 4th Grade Teacher about it and what her opinion was about seeing the movie, per this age etc.
Her opinion on it, as a Teacher was that: NO, this movie is NOT for this age at all. Nor the book. But many kids are watching it and reading the book. She felt that this movie, is for older kids... 12 and older.

5) My Husband and I did see the movie, at home via Netflix streaming. I myself, as an Adult, found some of the movie gory. We did not let our kids watch it. That is our choice. And, my daughter did not want to watch it. Despite the media hype and the
popularity" of this movie from kids.

6) When my daughter has a sleepover, and there will be a movie shown... I ALWAYS let the Mom know and what movie it is... to make sure that that Mom, is okay with it. I even ask if their child has allergies etc., and other normal common sense stuff.

I haven't read the books or seen the movie but I see many of you said you didn't want your child to see as they were sensitive to, and bothered by, the violence, etc., then why aren't more of us upset that the other kids, many out there, are not upset to violence or sensitive to it? That's the point I would have for not watching some of these things out there.

To me the pity with watching that movie for youngish kids (and older ones) without reading the book first is that they will miss the emotional significance and psychological depth that the books provide. It's not the greatest film, and it wouldn't mean a whole lot on it's own. Younger kids wouldn't be too traumatized, because they aren't mature enough to really comprehend the significance. I'm sure I was much more upset by it at 40 than I would have been at ten when I thought death and killing were exciting new thrills (scary movies at friends houses etc). I think people just saying "It's not that violent and my little kids didn't get scared" are missing a bigger picture, but for some that's OK.

I wouldn't worry about it "harming her". It's not that gory (though it was sad and disturbing if she was old enough to grasp it). BUT REGARDLESS of whether other people think th movie is OK for ten-year-olds or not, that mom was WAY out of line to show it without your permission WAY. OUT. OF line. And I would absolutely think twice before trusting her again. She doesn't seem like a conscientious friend or person.

Even if I felt my own kids could watch that movie (not until teens and not until AFTER reading) I would NEVER assume it was OK to show it to someone else's kids. I called a girl's mom to ask if it was OK to show Rocky because it has fighting and a little bit of mild profanity, so I know it's not totally OK with everyone. Hunger Games? This lady sounds like a Bimbo with a capital B to show it to a 10-year-old guest.

If another mom showed a PG 13 movie to my kid at age ten I would not be angry. My kids have grown up in a fairly "adult" household. I'd rather they watch something with a story and meaning behind it (even if it is dark and scary) than the ridiculous and STUPID G rated drivel they play 24/7 on Disney and Nickelodeon :(
However, in your case, I may be inclined going forward to mention, oh we don't allow our daughter to watch PG 13 movies, could you let me know ahead of time if you plan to do this again?
Seems like poor taste/judgement on her part, but if you like her and your daughters are friends I don't think this is worth losing sleep over.
Did you talk to your daughter about the movie? What did SHE think about it? I know at ten I was reading above grade level and I'm pretty sure I would have found The Hunger Games pretty compelling.
I suggest since she's already seen the movie you both should read the book, watch the movie together and talk about it!

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.