Daughter Having Some Boo-boo's in Grandma's Care

Out of curiousity, why would you have a rule where she couldn't run on the driveway/road? At 2 1/2 she should be able to do things more independently. How is she ever going to learn how to do it if you don't give her the opportunity? Kids are going to get hurt. They are exploring their world and figuring out what they can and can't do. She needs to be encouraged to explore and not held back by the fear of her getting hurt.

I think the real question is do you have a reason to be concerned that your mom is intentionally letting your child get hurt? My mom has babysat on several occasions and more than once my kids have gotten hurt (scrapes, cuts, bruises). My kids attend daycare on a full time basis and they have had equal amounts of bumps and bruises from there as well as when the kids are at home with my husband and I. Kids fall all the time and acidents with bumps and bruises are bound to happen, it's part of being a kid so unless you think your mom is doing something intentional then I would chalk it up as a kid being a kid. Your childs cut will heal and but she will always have those great memories of being with grandma. What a great bonding experience.

I agree with the other responders and I agree with your mom that "toddlers will fall and scrapes will happen - so let it go"....She is going to get hurt no matter what you do. My son has fallen probably 1000 times since he started walking. While I do warn him "honey be careful" "if you walk on the rocks your feet might get an owie"...in no way do I stop him unless it is truly a dangerous situation, like sticking his finger in the outlet or going too close to a street. He has to walk on the rocks himself to know that it doesn't feel good. Plus, how exhausting it would be to micro-manage every little thing. Don't worry- your mom can handle her.

I guess you need to ask yourself how serious the situations are. Yes, kids that age get bumps and bruises. But if your gut is telling you this is something more, maybe you should listen.

Maybe grandma is getting a little senile, or just too careless to be left alone with kids. Depending on her age, this could now be a reality. Watch her more closely and see if she's doing things that support your suspicions.

I went through this with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I know it's harsh, but we (dh and I) decided to tell them we thought they were too lax with the kids, and that we wouldn't be leaving them with them anymore. They were mad, real mad. But I believe our kids are safer for it.

I hate to say it, but sometimes people get either over-confident (because they've already had kids)or they just have a different standard of what's acceptible saftey-wise.

My mother-in-law grew up in a more rural setting and in a different era, so she believed it was okay to leave a toddler in the yard alone on a blanket for hours at a time with a few toys or with a young sibling in charge and thought that as long as they were in the yard, they're safe. She lives across from a lake and within a few blocks from a major highway. I freaked when I found out she was leaving the kids on her front patio in her unfenced yard while she doing chores inside or working in her garden in the backyard where she couldn't see the kids.

My sister-law had a bad habit of feeding our kids (with allergies) whatever she felt like (even though she knew better) and then we'd be left to deal with the hives, barf, and endless hours of screaming and crying etc. She also was very lax about supervision during playtime and would let her older kids (6 & 4) take our toddlers to neighbors homes or around the block unsupervised and sometimes until 9 pm or later in the summer. I freaked out! Especially since they live by a huge corn-field (kids have been known to go missing in them around here) and she has some pretty weird neighbors who I don't know at all and really have no desire to get to know, let alone my kids meeting them.

Anyway, I think some people just put their pride and personal beliefs and feelings first. They believe they love the kids and want to help out. But if they get sensitive, or are just too stubborn to realize their ways aren't safe ways you shouldn't hesitate to take action. If their going to be that way, then forget `em. Stroking their ego isn't worth risking your kid's safety and well-being. All it takes is one careless boo-boo and something really bad could happen.

Our relatives don't like me anymore....and let me know it. But I don't care. I have a designated person who watches the kids when I need them to. So far, they haven't done anything that would warrant what I had to do with my in-laws. But believe me, if I find that they are less than up to snuff, I won't have qualms about telling them to forget about it, either!

I think as long as the marks are not intentional, then dont worry so much. My son is two, and is a daredevil and if i could get him to wear a helmet while he walks i would. He falls and get his share of little scrapes and bumps. One day he actually ran into the corner of the wall because he wasnt looking where he was walking. Luckily he hasnt had any major injuries but he defiantly falls and you cant protect him from everyfall. Was your mom a good mom to you, did you have scrapes when you were a kid? Is she a good grandma who means well? If so im sure she has your daughters best interest at heart and you can not protect them from every fall. Put yourself in her shoes. What if everytime you watched a freinds kid they got a scrape or bump would you want that person thinking things about you? If your really worried talk to her niceley and tell your to watch her more or to stay inside. Kids will be kids and if they are active they are going to get little owies. You have to do what you feel is right for you and your family though.

if your daughter was at a day care or a care giver's house and she fell and got a boo boo...would you second guess them? i feel you are unfair to your mother...if you feel that your mother isn't watching your daughter good enough than don't let her watch her. or put your daughter in a bubble so she'll never have a boo boo again!!!

I see you have lots of responses, but had to weigh in. I have 3 kids. The first never had a bump or bruise until he was over a year. The second didn't have many, but had more than his brother. Now, the baby (she's nearly 10 months) has a bruise on her forehead from bumping it on the rocking horse and a fat lip from tipping over in a small plastic box (we use for toy storage). Now, I'm a good mom, I watch my children, but when you don't spend every second holding the baby or sitting by the baby, then bumps will happen. That's life. The busier you get, the less time you have to mandate all the things they can do. :)

Let you mom watch her, I'm sure it's fine.

J.

I think you are unfairly judging your mom's ability to watch your daughter. How can she stop every fall and bump they're accidents right? They're not abusive marks they're not intentional.

I live next door to a older woman and she is always babysitting her grandchildren and her friends come over with their grandchildren. Both Grandma's are constantly worried and complaining because the grandkids always get hurt in their care and it's all just bumps and bruises and accidents but their daughters are so mean and harsh on them about it.

I can understand your concern for your daughter's well-being while in the care of others, even if it is your mom. Sometimes new mom's have some competition with their own mothers, not that I'm saying you do, but I did with my mother. So, every now and then I'd be more critical of her than others.

Anyway, kids need to experience everything that is safe for them to experience. This includes exploring, adventuring... and yes, hurting themselves. How will your daughter learn not to run on the driveway if you do not let her run on it and slide in the sand? How will she learn that climbing over rocks is dangerous?

Little ones learn by experiencing, it's in our nature as humans. As long as it's not overly dangerous and someone is there to keep an eye on her, I think you are fine to let her get these scrapes and bumps.

And, your mother may be lest restrictive to her activities. I remember that I kept an extremely tight fist around the food and drinks my daughter got when she was a toddler. I was so anal about it. I thought any infraction might cause problems for her... then one day my mom and dad took her to the mall. I told them, don't give her anything bad to eat!

They brought her back to me with a huge blue face. She had a raspberry misty with grandpa and absolutely LOVED it. And she was soooo cute... I had to take a reflection and say, "why am I so worried about it?"

My mom is very wise... she has been through it all and seen it all. She raised me and my brother and her mothering style seems different to me sometimes... but I'm seeing her in grandma mode, with over 30 years of mothering experience.

Now... there is no better person to care for my children than my own mother.

I don't know if this helps you in any way, but good luck.