People Must Think I Beat My Son!!

Updated on January 28, 2011
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
24 answers

I know this is pretty typical, but my 1 year old runs/falls into EVERYTHING!! 9 times out of 10, he doesn't cry, he isn't hurt, but oh my goodness, the child is covered in bumps and bruises... plus, he has no hair yet, so you see EVERYTHING on his face and head! I'm thankful that it's winter right now and you can't see the rest of the poor child!! I'm only mentioning this because some woman in the grocery store asked me if he had some kind of bruising disorder... she wasn't rude, but I simply said no and went on shopping. THEN I thought 'omg, does she think I hit my kid?!' and I actually ran around the store to tell her I didn't, LOL, just to make myself feel better. My question is, if YOU saw someone's child covered in bumps and bruises, do you automatically think the worst, that the child is being abused? Or do you just assume it's another less-than-graceful toddler?

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So What Happened?

LOL at the mom who suggested a helmet, I say that all the time, that my son not only needs a helmet, but full-on hockey gear. AND he's a climber... but we all know that even if you're watching the child like a hawk, things happen in a split second. Thanks for sharing ladies, I really do feel a bit better. If I saw someone else's child looking the way my son does, I would probably giggle inside knowing that they're dealing with the same kind of crazy kid I am!! THANKS :)

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B.B.

answers from New York on

haha! Before I had kids I probably would think something was up. But now, I could see a kid with a black eye and a broken arm and think "That poor mom, that kiddo must get into EVERYTHING" LOL!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I brought this issue up with my pediatrician because my 1-yr old had bruises all over his head, face and legs. He's all boy and never let his age slow him down. Anyway, he laughingly said the bruises on the front are good, but bruises on the back are bad. Good to remember! Don't let other people's attitudes worry you. The fact that you even posted about this shows you're doing a great job.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son has always bruised easily, and one time when he was 15 months old he was "attacked" by an older (2 or 3 year old) kid at daycare. He had bites and scratches and bruises all over him for a couple weeks! I was so afraid someone would see us at the grocery and call CPS on me! Looking back now I laugh about it, but I was terrified then! The daycare would have backed me up completely, but I was afraid to let anyone see his arms and torso so he wore long sleeves for 2 weeks straight! I guess my paranoia had something to do with me being 8 months pregnant and having my husband in Iraq... :)

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My first born was like that. He was bald also, but also very light, pale skin. Every bump showed. And he fell a lot! I have found that arnica montana helps tremendously. You can get it in ointment form from the health food store. Just rub it on the site that got bumped, and it shouldn't bruise at all, or at least significantly less. It is an amazing, healing product. We love it. And, it helps it not hurt anymore, too. You can also get it in tablet form, which dissolves under the tongue quickly. You would use this form if there is an open wound, like a cut or scrape. If you see blood, you don't want to put topical arnica on it as it will hurt. But the internal will help. We always have it stocked up in the house, and my kids know how to use it. My husband was hit in the shin by a fast ball pitch. He rubbed arnica on it. Wherever he put the arnica, it didn't bruise at all. On the outside of where he had the arnica, you could see bruising. It was amazing. You could see exactly where he rubbed it. LOL Sort of like suntan lotion and sunburn. Works great!

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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

I brought this up to my pede when our older daughter was little. She told me that she gets concerned when she DOESN'T see little ones covered in bruises. It's part of life. Babies fall down, they get boo boos. That's how they learn. Now, if I were to see bruises all over a child's back and ribcage, and weird positioning at the upper arms, yes, I would be worried. Head (especially forehead) and below the knee on the legs--not a concern.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I have two boys. One got facial stitches at 17 months and his younger brother tried to outdo him and got glued at 13 months. I think this is fairly normal - I used to get paranoid about it when I took my kids to daycare and would point out the marks and they're like "Yeah, he's a rambunctious kid!"

Typically a child abuser will work hard to make sure the bruises are or can be covered up and will hit or strike in places covered by the diaper, shirt, or pants.

Because I have two little daredevils on my hands, I never think a child like yours is being abused, especially if they've got a happy temperament to go with it!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

honestly I wouldn't because I know my kids and mine , especially my daughter is covered in bruises, cuts, scrapes, etc. She really does look like a kid that is abused. She's clumsy and has ADHD so many of the she doesn't even know where they came from.

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S.H.

answers from Spokane on

My pediatrician told me that if a toddler didn't have bruises he would be concerned :)

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M.G.

answers from Little Rock on

bruises are normal, but if he is bruised all up and down, someone may question, especially in this day and age, where so much of it go around....ppl are forgetting kids LIKE to be kids

my daughter bruises easily too, and i was concerned about the SAME THING my mom even told me "someone's going to call wellfare on you with those bruises on her" and there WERN'T MANY and they were BARELY there.....due to that comment..i took her to her pediatrician (in her toddler years) and found out she did have a minor medical condition that required her taking iron to help with her bruising (didn't last long) but guess what.........someone DID call DHS on me and the ONLY reason theyt didn't take her from me, is because i had a professional looking at it already and PROOF it wasn't me.

no it wasn't my mom, but good god! ppl are QUICK to judge

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

My second child is a crash and burn king! I feel your pain. I typically don't think anything about bruising on children considering most abusers try to hide it. . .
That said, when I read your post I also thought about things that make me bruise more easily (yes, my son got his grace from me - LOL!) and at 1 yo with diet change and if you are breast feeding, the iron in the diet tends to nose dive. You may want to mention to your pedi and see if he wants you to take more iron if breastfeeding or supplement your son's diet.
Just a thought. You may have already done all of that:)

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S.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Oh my daughter is the same way. She is a climber and falls a lot (graceful like her mother) and it always seems she gets a huge bruise on her head the evening before she goes back to Mother's Day Out. My husband and I have both said, man they must wonder if we hurt her. So I do not think that someone beats their child just because they have a couple bruises. I would be more likely to think, they must have older siblings or just learned to walk. Poor thing.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

My littlest had a bruise on his forehead for about 3 month when he started pulling himself up and walking. My mom told me once I better start watching my boys more because someone might think Im abusing them with all their bumps and bruises. I really wasn't worried because 80% of what happened to them happened mostly at school, daycare or at a public park with plenty of people around to see what happened.
As long as the kids don't have bruises on their arms or stomach area I wouldn't worry about it. The doctor will say they only get wonder when bruises show up in those areas. It is perfectly normal for bumps and bruises everywhere else.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Oh, I think anyone who's had kids knows about the NORMAL bruises and scrapes that comes with it. We've been to the ER for stiches, broken arm, dislocated elbow etc. Kids are kids and ESPECIALLY 1 and 2 yr olds are constantly falling into everything. My nephew is now 2 and we joke that I'm going to buy him a helmet! Couldn't hurt to get him checked by the doc though......

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Once my son started walking, his legs were covered in bruises. You could literally watch him run into a wall, fall down, laugh and go do it again. I just tried to make sure he was wear sweat pants to try to cushion him a bit but it was a losing battle. Fairly soon he was an expert at running, and then I had to watch him carefully for climbing. Some kids are just more rambunctious than others. I don't assume a kid is being beaten. But some kids could really use a lot of padding/body armor.

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is very active (and a bit clumsy), so he occasionally has a scrape or bump. His preschool teacher asked about one bruise on his face (from when he jumped off the bed and his the bedside table). I think teachers are supposed to report or keep track of things like that. I was worried they'd blame us, but my husband thinks they'll see that the rest of his body under the clothes are bruise-free. It's good that people wonder and question, though. If they didn't, then the kids who are abused wouldn't get help.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

i think just another one year old learning to walk. next time you get a comment like that say yeah the diorder of walking is so
much fun

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

My DD is 3 and has been to the E.R. or Care Now 4 times this year!!! Stitches a year ago from jumping out of the bathtub, then a contusion to her ankle from running into a doorway, then a sprained pinkie from getting her finger stuck in a door, and on Saturday we had to go for stitches again on her eyebrow from tripping into the coffee table. *sigh*. I get so scared when I go in now! So afraid they'll think I'm beating her or something!
My oldest never had any of this kind of stuff and only had one broken bone at the age of 9, so this is all new to me. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and he'll likely get worse the more he gets around. I have a climber too. I know. :)

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R.P.

answers from Cleveland on

i would just think its kids being kids UNLESs they are acting weird i remember when my daughter first started to pull herself up and walk she would bump her head on EVERYTHING and fall down and when she got told no would scream one time my bfs mom came to the room we were in and yelled at us to pay attemtion to her and shortly after that i had to go get her a bottle and his parents were in the kitchen and they both attacked me saying she is going to have brain damage because of her falling and that we need to stop doing what ever we are doing and play with her and pay attention to her i was pissed and i went off on them and went back to my bf and daughter and told him i am probably going to leave bc i am not going to be told i dont take care of audrey and that i am not going to be attacked by them any more he went up and went off on them and it hasnt happened since. even though the next day his sister heard me laughing ( i was on the phone with my mom) and audrey was crying (she was tired and i was getting ready to put her down for a nap) and she came down telling me she was going to take her upstairs and that i shouldnt be laughing at her crying which i wasnt my mom said something and made me laugh.

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I usually think its the usual less than graceful toddler and if I'm in line at the store I will usually say something to the mom like "I see you are out of simple stage where they stay put and dont crash and burn all the time" and I smile. the moms are usually not paranoid but are happy that I know that toddlers are usually banged up from time to time. Dont be paranoid.

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M.3.

answers from St. Louis on

Boys are fun arent they? I dont think my daughter ever had a bruise or scratch on her face. This boy, has scars, scratches,chipped tooth, he has it all!! Hes insane!! I have never seen a kid so fearless. I never worried about what people thought. My nephew is the same age and everytime I see him my sister and I joke about that they have done to themselves. My son always has little bruises on his legs. I think its pretty normal.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

R.:

If the bruises were on his face, neck and upper arms i MIGHT think it - but it's not my place to judge.

My now 25 year old daughter liked it when I walked with her and had my hand around the back of her neck (not a vice like grip) instead of holding hands, etc. well, one day she was upset about something, we walked into day care she was bawling, had a bruise on her face (she had fallen at the park) and so people ASSUMED I had beaten her and called CPS...it was unfounded but still...

Toddlers have bumps and bruises all the time...it's just a matter of WHERE they are....

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Charlottesville on

When my eldest was a toddler, he was constantly falling and hitting his head - usually requiring stitches. The ER staff got to know us very well one summer. It turned out that he wasn't overly clumsy, he just needed glasses so he could see properly. So, you may want to find a eye doctor that specializes in pediatric vision to check his vision.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I assume it's one just like mine was at that age. However there are some congenital bleeding/bruising disorders so if he seems to bruise excessively for the impact, you might talk with your pediatrician.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I would think the toddler is active plays alot and keep getting hurt. If there was a big bruise, redness, swollen face, etc. I would question or look at it strange.

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