Concussion?

J., I'm guessing your husband felt bad and just remind him the importance of open communication. It's good that he eventually admitted it. My daughter once slid off her chair really hard and hit her head on the floor. She threw up immediately afterwards, so I got scared and called a Nurse hotline. They said as long as her eyes were not dilated and she wasn't unnaturally sleepy not to worry. Nurse hotlines are great resources!!

Ok, just to respond to the Lisa M poster below - your husband is #1 ?!?!? Are you kidding me? Not to diminish anyone's relationship or love for their spouse, but come on! We're mothers, right? How can you love anyone more than your kids? And if for some reason you do, how can you possibly give your priority of care to an adult over the children you have been blessed to love and protect? Husbands as partners should not supercede a parent's obligation to their children.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm so glad you have received some great posts. Kids are resilient and people make mistakes. We have a lot of stairs here, bunkbeds, and with three kids we have made several trips to the ER with falls. My now four year old fliped off the couch onto our tile entryway floor at age two, and his head swelled up FAST! After three hours in the ER, x-rays, and, $350 bill, he was fine. Two weeks ago, my youngest 23, fell down the front steps after she tripped over the dog. She hit the corner of her eye on the corner of the concrete step. By now, third child, too many ER visits in my time, I have learned to take a deep breath, put some ice on it, and just watch and make sure everything is ok before I freak out. She is fine, had a black eye until a couple days ago, but is just fine. I play a lot of sports, and have been injured so many times that when my kids fall down and get hurt, I just tell them "You're fine. Get up." And they usually are. As far as your husband, he is your most important relationship. I know it is hard for first time moms to understand this, but he is your best friend, and should be treated as you would want to be treated. He IS MORE IMPORTANT than your child. I am not saying that your child is not important in anyway, but in order of priorities, that should be #1, children #2. Well actually God 1, husband 2, children 3. Forgive and forget. As you well know, we punish ourselves far worse than anyone else could. He may even need you to help him forgive himself. Let go of control too. I mean, you do not have to be the one to watch your daughter all the time unless you are taking a shower. Give him more responsiblity, or rather let him have more. That's another mistake we make with our firsts. We think we need to do everything. Let me tell you that by number three, you have long ago worried about other people holding your infant. I have to laugh when my girlfriends have their 1st baby, and they are telling me to be careful as they hand over their baby for me to see them! Seriously, held a baby before! But it is still cute. She's fine, he's fine, let it go. God bless.

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J.,

Take your daughter in to get checked out. She may have internal injuries. She's no the first baby to fall off a bed, nor will she be the last, so be honest with the doctors.

I think she is OK -- if she wasn't unconscious, or didn't throw up. You may just want to call a doctor or nurse anyway.

When my first child was about 6 months or so we had to stay at a hotal while my husband went and played army. I had put him on the bed and was playing with him. I moved away from the bed for a bout 2 seconds to get a toy for him and he wiggled right off the bed. He to had a very larg red bump. I felt like the worst mother in the world. How could I do such a thing. I thought of lying to my husband to. In the end it was just a mistake and not with my second child it was my husband who made the mistake of putting our baby on the bed and steping away for a moment. When he finaly told me I laughed and gave him a hug. Baby's are very durrable and yours will be just fine! forgive your husband! It was a mistake and I bet he will be keeping a better eye on her next time!

How preemie? Basically if the baby is acting unusual, pupils look dialated and typically if it is a really bad bump... they shouldn't sleep for a while to observe this. But if the baby has slept and woke on their own.. should be fine. I would call the doctor...to ease you mind.

I have found with children they are really resilient and we as parents worry far more than things bother kids. However, if you truly are worried contact your pediatrician or call ask a nurse for reassurance.

As long as your baby is responding normally and eating and drinking like normal there isn't a reason to worry. If your baby is listless, very fussy and just "not right" then I would follow up with a doctor right away. As for the husband he probably was worried that you would get mad at him for not paying close attention to the baby like you would.
I alway follow the thought the child are tough because they are supposed to beable to survive our mistakes as parents.

no advice on the concussion part... but to ease your mind do call the doc if you can not stop worrying about it.

As far as the "issue" of the lie... just reassure your husband that things like this do happen (no matter if it is a fall of a couch when they are trying to climb up or falling off a bed) and that he can always tell you anything reguarding the your child and you won't get upset... so work on keep your cool, I know it is hard but try. That may help in the future if something happens again. Also if he did fall asleep he truly did not know what happened right away and unlike women men sometimes don't process kid things as quickly so he might have been still processing it when you ask him.

If you are the least bit concerned go to urgent care! I know babies hurt themselves quite often and come out just fine but in all honesty it's better to be safe then sorry...As for the lying husband.....I would question myself why would he lie about our daughter being hurt and express to him the severity of the situation. A small bump is no biggy but a large one can put your child into a coma....Hope she is well

Yes, sometimes babies fall off beds. Your husband probably didn't tell you the truth because he figured you would be "paranoid" and jump all over him for it... You might want to reassure him that you trust him to take care of the baby...

This parenting thing is hard! You would know by now if your baby had a concussion. Look for the signs that the first poster listed and if you are still concerned you could call the Dr.
As far as your hubby goes, don't be too hard on him. He probably feels like junk that he was not being more attentive. That happens to moms and dads all the time. And the suggestion that you got that he can just leave....Good grief! I would say to show your hubby the grace that you would want to receive. It could have easily happened to you instead of him. We all think we know how we would react but in high stress situations we do strange things.
If your baby is fine just chalk it up as a learning experience! I bet your hubby has already blamed himself heartily and will be much more attentive in the future!

I would have been so angry!! First things first, call your Dr.
It's doubtful she has a concussion, since she was crying and not throwing up or passed out. You'll feel better if you get check in with the Dr. just in case.

As for your husband, men do stupid things sometimes. In this case RIDICULOUSLY stupid. He probably felt terrible and guilty and just reacted in an immature way; i.e. lying. And if he was sleeping, he probably wasn't sure about exactly what happened. He could have been disoriented from waking up. Many other reasons here, but I'll keep this short. Unless lying is a pattern in your relationship, ask for an apology and let it go. Yes, you have a right to be angry and yes, he screwed up big time. However, no parent is perfect and mistakes will happen. Deep breath, and I hope you and your daughter feel better!

Generally with a concussion there is temporary loss of consiousness. If she cried right away she is probably fine, but watch for vomitting and sleepyness, also check to see if her pupils are dialating equally and with light, this is a huge sign that something is worng if they are not. If you have any concerns have her checked out, even if it is only for your piece of mind. As for your husband, you have every right to be mad at him and there is no excuse for lying about something that important. I hope everything is ok and good luck with your husband.

When my twins started becoming more mobile and trying to walk they were constantly banging their heads so I asked my doctor when to be worried. She did mentioned that if they ever fell off of something (ie bed, chair) that I should call the doctor and they would most likely want to see my child. Just an FYI.

My daughter fell out of her crib onto the hard wood floor when she was about 5 months old. I called our doctor and the nurse said to watch her eyes and to not let her sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time. She took a short nap that day and then we woke her up during the night and she was fine. The nurse told us that there was really nothing they could do unless she was unconscious or not responsive at all.

I once was so tired I slept through my 7 month old's cries of hunger in the morning. When I finally woke up, she had probably been crying for nearly an hour and had a very messy diaper. I put her on the changing table and changed her diaper, but my hands were soiled in the process. She was strapped in (and still crying) so I quickly went to wash my hands. She kicked herself out of the straps and fell to the floor with a thud.

Thankfully, she was ok and we did not need to see the doctor. I was devastated - I felt like a horrible mom! After I fed her, I called my mom in tears and I will give you the same advice she gave me.....

Do you ever watch America's Funniest Home Videos? Do you see what those kids do to themselves? If they sent in a video, they are fine. Kids are resilient. Although we take every precaution to prevent it, they are going to fall off of beds, run into walls, and hurt themselves sometimes.

So - I would cut your husband some slack. He probably feels awful about it and maybe wasn't sure what happened or how you would react. It very well could have been you.

I would take the baby in to get it checked out just in case. Better safe then sorry.

As far as your husband goes, I am sure that he learned his lesson. It is good that he came clean on his own. You two should have a serious sit down and talk about the importance of being aware what you baby is doing and where you baby is at.

Babies, as you well know, must have 24-hour supervision, especially the ones that are becoming mobile. I would bring that up with your husband in a non-threatening way. Use "I" statements in stead of starting your senteces with "You" when talking to him.

Hope all goes well!!

PS - keep in mind we all make mistakes, but if a person learns from the, that is the most important thing of all!

-K.
(mom of two)

I wouldn't worry too much about your husband. He probably just didn't want to upset you. If after comforting your baby, she seemed to calm down, then most likely she is fine. You should be worried if she seems to start acting disoriented.

I know with a concussion you just need to watch to make sure they arent sleeping more than normal and check to make sure they are alert. It is actually good if there is a bump, then the swelling isnt inside and on the brain.
Dont feel too bad about this happening. When my child was 8 months old my husband was "wathcing" her and she fell off the bed and broke her leg. I have a feeling the tv had a little bit to do with it, but still no confession. He swears he just turned around to grab something. He felt horrible though.

J.; i dont know much about concussions, i do know to watch for sleepyness at unusual times, if you are worried about it, then best bet is to take to the drs, i would also not fret, about husband lyeing at this time, one he was asleep as you stated, and woken up from a screem, so in effect he may not of known what had happened, and his first thought was probably uh oh, i hope i did not do that, and he probably felt bad enough, and was scared, that you would not be able to trust him , at least he did tell you , and you all ready knew he was in bed with the baby , so you all ready knew what happened too, so i would let it pass, and maybe just let him know its ok to tell you the truth. any way , i hope things are good, and the baby is fine, D. s

Did you call the doctors office right away? If not, I would. Just talk to a nurse about signs of concussion. She's probably fine, but just to be sure. She would probably be crying alot and maybe vomiting if she had one. So if she seems fine, she probably is. But you could call them just for peace of mind.

I would definetly be more worried about your husband lying about it then I would your baby bumping her head. But he was probably just worried about your reaction. Babies heads are meant to take bumps. Actually their whole bodies are. I'm sure she'll bump her head many more times in the future. Babies crying after they hit their head is actually a GOOD thing. It's when they don't cry that you really need to worry. I would just put an ice pack on her bump and keep her up for a little while (about 2 hrs) the next time it happens.

I would go get your baby checked out just to be safe. You want to make sure you don't see her eyes rolling back or getting glassy for the next 24-48 hours but it wouldn't hurt to send your husband to the doctor with her just to be safe. It was obviously an accident but he should never hold the truth from you even if he's embarrased about not watching her like he should have been. I believe he lied out of embarrasment not b/c he's afraid to tell you the truth.
Good luck,
L.

Something similar happened to me when my daughter was about 3 months old (except for the lying part). She screamed and cried hard for about 10 minutes then fell asleep in an eirie way. We brought her to the Children's hospital, and they checked how her pupils reacted to light (a key sign for dangerous closed head injuries), her reflexes, asked me if she had vomited (she hadn't) and did an x-ray of her head, which was ok. Nature has given us an advantage with the natural helmet that is the skull, and the doctors explained that the vast majority of the time babies fall like that they are not dangerously injured. I myself have suffered 2 significant concussions in my life, one at age 10 when I fell backwards on an ice rink (missed 5 months of school that year) and at age 23, when I was thrown off a horse (had trouble putting together coherent sentances for about 3 months). If you have any doubt, I think you should bring your baby in to see a doctor to check her pupils, reflexes, etc. The thing is, there isn't that much treatment for a concussion, you have to keep the person well hydrated, wake them up every so often to make sure they aren't going into a coma, and keep them away from temperature extremes. Other than that, it mostly takes time to heal, Although it is helpful to know if there is actual brain damage so you can adjust expectations, special help, and patience accordingly (I have had to make some minor adjustments in my life after my horse accident, such as bundling up better for the cold EVERY time and not having expectations that I will be able to find the right words when I am too tired). The presence of an open wound or lump from a fall is not a reliable indication of whether there is a concussion or not. I was significantly injured with my horse accident and had no lump or welt because I landed on a grassy surface. The impact of my brain thrown against my skull when I landed was the problem, not what shows externally. Also, there seems to be more danger of concussion when the blow happens to the back of the head rather than the front.

first of all, the fall probably isnt a big deal (im assuming here) as long as baby is "normal" can move all arms and legs, etc.

my poor little brother: i was 11 when he was born and my sister was 9. he got tossed in the air (and i missed and he fell all the way to the floor...) my sister dropped him onto the bed (in play) and he bounced and hit the wall and broke a hole in the wall LOL.... he lived! and usually without any concussion or anything.

you do need to probably check with the child's doctor. i dont know much about premies, i do know that they develop at their own rate, and it should be fine, but he could check her out and make sure that there isnt any underlying trauma from the fall.

however, to deal with the husband... give him a break ok? things like this happen, it could have happened to you. (like i said - my poor brother was tortured as a baby and hes fine now.. LOL) what he is most afraid of is your reaction, and the effects of that... he is most afraid that you will see him as incompetent and you wont let him alone with your daughter ever again.
you have to trust him, it wasnt something he did to hurt your daughter, he probably didnt think she would go anywhere, and if she tried to, he probably thought he would wake up before anything bad happened. he didnt lie out of disrespect or to purposly decieve you, he probably lied so that you wouldnt blame him and, you know... feel mad at him forever.

this happens, and like i said, it could have just as easily been you that it happened with. give him a break, and reassure him that you still trust him to be competent and caring for your daughter, and you will only reinforce the trust your marriage needs!

I know you have gotten a lot of responses and of course you should get your daughter checked out if you are unsure. But, as far as your husband is concerned...Just remember...These things happen. Your baby is healthy and happy and you need to sit back and enjoy your hard work as a mother...breath and relax:) He is only human and so are you.
Wishing you all the best.

my dad always told me that after a big bump like that don't let them go to sleep for at least a half an hour and ck to see if their pupils are dialated, kids are tougher than we think and I think God made them that way for a reason :) as far as lieing goes he probably did it because he felt bad that it happened because he was supposed to be watching her and he was scared i would just have a talk with him and let him know that you won't get mad you just need to know what really happens so that you can make sure the baby is taken care of good luck also it doesn't mean he is a bad person i don't know him but i know my husband lied once about something like that or made it sound not as bad but i really do think they get scared and blurt out whatever

J.!

Your daughter is probably fine. This happened to my son and I called the doctor immediately. They told me to watch for vomitting, lethargy or if the baby falls asleep and you can't wake her. I recommend giving your doctor a buzz and he/she will tell you what to watch for.

J.,

It never hurts to follow up with the pediatrician. Be honest about what happened and see what they tell you. They might just want to examine your baby.

Regarding your husband, he probably lied because he was afraid of looking like an idiot who should have known better. If it was my husband, I'd be firm and tell him to never ever lie to me about how a bruise happened, even if it seems minor. I'd rather know the sequence of events. Let him apologize to you for lying and let it pass. Unless this is not the first time he's lied. Then you have bigger concerns.

Good luck. Hope baby is fine.

J. M

You should take your baby to the doctor to have her checked by a professional.......tell your husband if he lies about such an important issue again, that he can just leave. Your babies health and welfare are more important than any man, especially one that puts her in danger.

Watching the eyes to see if they look different from each other, one pupil big, one small is a sure way to see. Older ones will seem disoreinted but with a baby you can't see that. One thing I was always told is if there is a big bump, that is a good thing, the swelling is going out instead of into the brain. I was always told to wake up a child after a head injury every 2 hours and if they aren't responisive in waking up (even just stirring is waking up) then you should get them in to the hospital. I would go in and rub their back enough to have them stir in their sleep and let them go back to sleep.

Your husband lied at first because he didn't know how you would react that he was that careless with the baby. It is a shame that he felt that lying was better then admitting but that also is a natural reaction however wrong it is. Stress to him that honesty is always better then lying even if you do get upset, it won't be a double wham. Also let him know that the baby will grow up watching how you both handle being wrong or doing something wrong. If they see you lying to get out of trouble or to get out of doing something, they will think this is acceptable and do it also. If they see that telling the truth will soften the punishment, they will tell the truth also. They really do follow our lead and it won't help if you are honest and he lies, they will follow his lead because lying is always easier then admitting.

About husbands being number 1, I understand what was meant by that. The greatest gift we can give our children is a good relationship between their parents. It gives them a security and a sense of love and also teaches them what they want in a relationship, so yes, your relationship if it is a healthy one, should come first. On the other hand, it is important for us to protect our children from what could harm them, sadly, sometimes it is a parents temper or a controlling husband that can do damage and in that case the child must come first. A show of unity by the parents will be a better way to raise a child, but if one is unreasonable and borderline abusive (mentally as well as physical) it is time to teach a child you don't have to be in that kind of relationship and look for help in the marriage. So yes, putting the husband in a good relationship first makes sense.

This will probably make me sound like a really bad mommy, but my first fell off the bed once, my second has fallen off the bed a number of times and down the stairs a number of times. He dosen't always his his noggin, but sometimes he has...and I'm pretty sure we're concussion free. I've had one myself, as has my husband, and our kids don't seem any the worse for the wear after the initial pain. Also--this I've learned from my four year old--I frequently ask him if he's crying because he hurts or because how he got hurt was scary--and probably 80% of the time, it's because how he got hurt was scary. scary, but unless you see some of those telltale signs the other folks mention, babies and kids are amazingly resilient.

When one of my boys was a yr. old he fell and hit his head real hard, and got an instant goose egg on the back of his head so I rushed him to the doctor, and he said just to keep a close eye on him for 24 hrs. make sure he doesn't start weaving when he's crawling, and that his pupils continue to look normal.

Hi J.,
If your little is vomiting or lethargic then she better be going to the hospital. She's probably fine though...if you take her in be sure to be honest with the docs and tell them how high the bed was and everything.
When my cousin was a baby my uncle was lifting him up over his head. Well, baby's head connected with the bottom of the ceiling fan. It wasn't on. He called my mom panick stricken and thought he was the worst person ever! I'm still not sure after 22 years that my aunt knows about!!! My husband's uncle did the same thing with his daughter. He said is was pretty bad when all the nurses at the hospital said...ummmm Aren't you a paramedic??? Why are you lifting the baby up without paying attention to the ceiling!!??
So try not to be too hard on your husband. He's her dad and loves her as much as you do so he would feel just as horrible as you. Take care. Hope your little is fine now.
L.