Child Spacing Advice

my 3 youngest are 3 ( 2-16-03), 2 ((5-24-04) and 16 months (4-14-05). and its very overwhelming. the best advice I can give you is get at least 1 out of diapers. then start trying for another. but given the ages of the ones you have...i would say start trying now. by baby time you will probably have one out of diapers and one ready to get out. hope this helps

I'm a mother of ten children here in Eau Claire, WI...not that far from you. I've had children 1.5 to about 3 years a part....most of them 2 yrs. apart. Believe me, I'd prefer the 3 years apart gap. It gives me time to loose weight...get in shape in between...that one on one time for a couple of years with the current baby, etc.

I never had any complications...had mostly home births that went just fine...even with one being breach...he came out fine and is a healthy 14 year old now.

After having had 10 over 22 years (they are now 25 down to 4), I would recommend whatever amount of children you have....have them so they are at least teenagers by the time you turn 45 to 50...it's no fun combining raising little ones with menopause, etc. Believe me, I know. But I'm glad I have them all....grace & thankfulness is needed every day.

I don't know if you're a Bible believer, but I sure clung to scriptures like... "Shall I bring it to the birth and not cause it to come forth?" Isaiah 66:9 Only had my first child induced for the doctor's scheduling purposes. After that they all came in due time just fine naturally.

Also, I like Psalm 127 esp. vs. 3 "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward." So true.

Hope this helps. Glad to help...hopefully.

B. in Eau Claire, WI

Listen, J., the best spacing for children is what's best for mommy. Whatever you think is going to be best for you mentally and physically is what will be best for your children. You and you're well being are what will determine how happy and content you're children are.

J.,I hope this will help you decide.I'm 37 and I have 3 kids,ages are 20,18,5 1/2.I can tell you that when my older 2 was younger they would fight all the time like normal kids do.Then came along my youngest when the other two where already teenagers,so there is a big gap between them.And I can tell you that it's harder on them when there so far apart.If I would of had them closer together then maybe they would be closer as a family.But for now my youngest is an only child and it's h*** o* him because his other 2 siblings don't have nothing to do with him.I hope this help you out on your question.

I have two boy's that are 3 1/2 years apart and I wish I would have had the second one sooner because they never got along. The older one was/is kind of mean to him. I'm sure if I would have had them closer together they would be much closer.

I've also heard by some that wider spacing, as much as 4 years, is optimal b/c it allows each young'un to develop his or her own friends, style, relationship with parents. It also prevents competition btw them. But your reason for wanting them closely spaced is just as powerful. So, maybe the answer here is to go with your gut. What feels right for your daughters but also for you and anyone else in the family? What will make you the best parent and partner, etc? And allow room for luck, I say.

I thought I had gotten the same message twice, someone else was asking about this. I'm going to be lazy and just copy/paste it...

Okay, I have five kids, 12 (13 in Sept), 11, 7 (8 in Sept), 5, & 10 months. The first two were 22 months apart, then 3 years, then 3 years, then four years. The first two, that was a nice age spread, they played very well together. WHat I have seen now that they're older is that the oldest is wanting his own life and cutting his brother out (although that happens with bigger spreads, it just seemed to affect Ty a lot cause they were so close for so many years). With the 22 months, they enjoy the same things at the same time. The 3 years is okay, a little far out for my taste. But, then the 4 years was out far enough that I am really getting to enjoy my youngest 'individually', I have more patience. BUt then I am older, too. Good luck with having a large family. I hope you like minivans! ;o)
M.

My 2 children are 6, 3, and 1. Having the second and third soo close togeather, 23 months was really hard. You also have the older one that gets left out more. Homestly if I were you, I would wait until your oldest is 4 to get pregnant. By then your youngest will be a little older, but not too old that they won't have anything in common.

I'm a mother of four. A daughter who's 8, a son who's 5, another son who's 2 1/2 and a third son who's 7 months. They are all about 2 1/2 to 3 years apart. As my ob/gyn said when we were having our third that you will be going from one on one to zone defense. You will be out numbered. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Hello J.,

In my opinion even if you had another after your 11 month old turned 1 year old wouldn't hurt. I have a son that is 5 yrs old, a daughter that is 4 yrs old. Those two are 14 months apart then. I also have a 1 year old and one due in September. My last two will be 16 months apart.
I had them pretty close becuase I think it's easier for me and the chlidren. There are advantages and disadvantages, like my oldest son usaully is the protector of them all and snice the two older are closer they seem to bond alittle bit better.
But then in my culture, back in the days parents would have their children one after another.
So, the real question is, are you as a mother ready to have another child or do you believe that it would be better to wait a while longer?

I have two boys who are 27 months apart (almost 4 yrs and 20 months). We are currently trying for #3 so the third will be anywhere from 29 months (if I'm pg right now) on. I wanted them all to be 2 years apart, but so far they are just a little more than that. I have just succumbed to the fact that it is God's timing and not ours that decides when we are going to have our kids so all the planning in the world doesn't always work. Good luck.

hi there . i am the oldest of 8 . i am 26 my sister under me is 24 and the next sister is 23 . and we get along great ..in my mind we have a great bond. though growing up we are spats but now we are thicker then thick.

becca

J.,
I have 3 sisters 24,16, and 12. I myself am 34. I just go to tell you that there are worse things than having a well spaced birthorder. What ever dynamic you wish to foster there will always be a kind of suculture that all of your children will develop when they relate to each other. Consider how they will be to each other when they are adilts rathe than how they do under you mothering.
love L.