this is not a DISASTER
this is a bummer.
This is a working situations, which is very fixable,
DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONS to overwhelm YOU,
and the great step you already did is that you posted here
because you think about the situation,
and do not get emotional.
I wrote about very similar situations several times,
as we mamas ALL have such issues at some time of our kids' growth.
I will copy you one of the stories, and give 2 links where many mamas share great ideas.
I very much hope that it will help, and you will find the solution that fits the best to YOUR and Your Boy !!!
All the very best to you, K.!!!
as long as you GIVE her attention, she will be throwing serious tantrums over and over again.
Keep the space safe, and allow her whatever she wants to do, NOT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO HER>
If you get tired, waiting when she will be finally exhausted and done with the fit,
then you can try one more trick:
pretend that you absolutely do not see her: as soon as she starts getting into the tantrum 'mode', you can walk around, not 'seeing her' and talking totally to yourself: "I wonder where my little beautiful girl is, I cannot see her, and I miss her smile so much! Hmmm, I hope she did not go far, maybe she is in the bedroom, let me see... no, she is not ehre either... okay, I will just have to sit down and wait, she will be back for sure, because I love her so much, and I know she loves me too." At some point, she will get tired or exhausted, and will loose all the hope of getting your attention, and then she will appear before you as normal good girl again. THIS MOMENT you need to overflow with joy, and smile to her, and tell her "Oh, here you are!!! Where have you been? I already started looking for you in all the rooms! I missed you, smiley!"
She needs to figure out, with your help, that as soon as she is throwing tantrum, she becomes invisible to you, and the attention is ALL drawn away from her, but as soon as she has a smile, or behaves just normally, she gets a lot of cuddling great attention from you.
IN NO WAY YOU CANNOT GIVE UP and do what she wants by trying to get it through the tantrum, even if it is in the middle of the store.
good luck to you both!
one more link about the same topic