17 answers

Bday Party - How to Write a Thank You If You Don't Know What They Gave

My daughter recently turned 6 and we invited everyone in her class to her party - even the one girl that she says is mean to her. Almost the whole class came and had a great time. Two families left early, including the 'mean girl'. After she left, we opened presents one at a time and I wrote down who gave what (or so I thought....). At the end I had presents for everyone except the mean girl (who was very well behaved at the party and both her and her mom seemed nice) but since she had left early, we have no way of knowing if she bought a present or not...or what she bought. Parties are about fun and celebrating - not presents. But I am big on thank you notes - how do I write a thank you to the mean girl when we don't know what she bought, or if she bought anything at all?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

We made a card that thanked her for coming to the party and remarking on what fun everyone had. No mention was made of a gift (or confusion about one!). Thanks everyone for your advice.

Featured Answers

You could just write a thank you for joining in the celebration. Something like that should be fine and may even get rid of a little meanness.

1 mom found this helpful

My suggestion would be to be as vagely general as possible. Thank you for so much for coming to the party, hope you had a good time, I enjoyed seeing my friends outside the classroom...

Perhaps there's a reason they left early...

More Answers

Since she invited everyone in her class and you have a gift noted from everyone but her, I assume there wasn't anything left over to help narrow it down. Perhaps she didn't bring a gift, perhaps it got mixed up. Either way, just thank her for coming. I usually know, but when I'm not sure, I just have my daughter write something like, "Thanks for coming to my party. I hope you had fun!"

My oldest daughter is 8. A few years ago, we were at a good friend's party whose family is from Mexico. They said that growing up, they believed it was rude to open gifts in front of kids at a party. They open them later as a family, but at the end of the party, they pass out little wrapped gifts to each child instead of goodie bags (they fill their own from the pinata!). With each gift is a little note card that just says, "Thanks for coming to my party!" That IS their thank you note, but if her daughter is exceptionally thankful for a particular item, she will send another more specific thank you note later to the child. We started doing that, too. I've since been to SO many parties now where the gifts are opened after the party. I love it, as mom of the birthday kid, because I can be sure to write everything down and not be rushed if I'm keeping track of who gave what. The kids also seem to love having the whole party time just to party! It also saves the embarrassment of your own kid not being excited about a gift or harmlessly saying, "I've already got this" or worse, something really negative! I enjoy getting a thank you, and I feel they are important for my kids to give whether they're at the party or afterwards.

3 moms found this helpful

How about "Thank you for making my day special and helping me celebrate". That's what we did for our wedding cards that had gotten either detatched from gifts, or didn't come with a gift at all.
Good for you for putting so much importance on thank you notes! It's a great courtesy that is often overlooked!

1 mom found this helpful

With my son's birthdays we always did a generic thank you with a picture of him thanking everyone for coming and how much fun he had. That way whether or not a gift was brought, everyone received a thank you note.

1 mom found this helpful

I would have your daughter write the note, which gives an excuse for keeping it short. She could say something like, "Thanks for coming to my party. It was fun to have you there!" If she did provide a gift, her mom might contact you to confirm you got it and you can always fess up that a gift wasn't recorded from her child.

1 mom found this helpful

You could just write a thank you for joining in the celebration. Something like that should be fine and may even get rid of a little meanness.

1 mom found this helpful

"Thank you so much for coming to my party and making it a really special day! Glad you came!"

1 mom found this helpful

just have her thank her for coming to the party and spending the time with her and comment that you are sorry they had to leave early and say that you hope they had a good time!

Hi S.,

I think you write a nice thank you note thanking the little girl and her Mom for taking the time out of their weekend to come to your daughter's party. Say something about how them being there helped make it a nice party and that you appreciate them being there to help celebrate.

I typically put something like thank you for your generosity (which could mean a bunch of things) but most of all thank you for sharing my special day with me. And then my son has signed them. I think just getting them a card out is the idea. Good luck!

Hi S.,

Write a note thanking her for her thoughtfulness and tell her your daughter has already begun enjoying her gift. If she did give a gift, you're covered. If she didn't bring a gift, she'll think she got away with something, lol....

M. :)

I didn't write down the gifts that were brought for my children so I had my son write thank you cards for the "gift" and for coming to help them celebrate. I don't think you would have to list a specific gift it is the gesture that means everything.

My biggest gripe is that most people have gotten away from thank you notes altogether. I am still real big on them and am offended when I dont get some type of acknowledgement. As far as my kids parties though, I send thank you cards to every family that came. The real gift is that they took time out their schedules to attend. I dont think it's necessary to get descriptive about what they brought. I always say "Child's name" was so glad you shared her day with her and all the fun presents she received.

Make it general. We would like to thank all of you for your presence and your presents. It was because of you all that my daughter had a wonderful birthday.

I second the having your daughter write the thank you. She can make it generic and cute!

Thank you so much for being a part of my daughters special day. Your thoughtfulness really made her happy. Thanks so much!

Nuff said?

If your daughter is 6, have her write the notes instead of you. It would mean more, coming from her. Just have her write: Thanks for coming to my birthday party, it was fun playing with you. (When my daughter was younger I would write what she wanted to say on a paper and she could copy it word for word into her note, so everything was spelled correct)
That should be fine. no one is going to scrutinize a note coming from a 6 year old and think: "Why didn't she mention this or that?"
They will be thrilled that she just wrote the note!

My suggestion would be to be as vagely general as possible. Thank you for so much for coming to the party, hope you had a good time, I enjoyed seeing my friends outside the classroom...

Perhaps there's a reason they left early...

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