Researching Etiquette on 1St Birthday Thank You Notes

Hi A.. A simple thank you note from the parents for the child and the gift is great until the child is old enough to actually partisapate in the thank you note project. You can give your notes a personal touch by taking a scribble picture your daughter makes and scaning it into your computer to use it as the paper for your notes. I always have my kids write thank you notes for all their gifts, birthday and christmas as well as misc gifts other times. Good manners are a great thing and do not go unnoticed!! :-)

From where I sit, any attempt at etiquette in this lazy "whatever" day and age is greatly noticed and appreciated by those who feel it is important - and it serves as a subtle reminder to those who do not deem things like this to matter much. Please don't take that as a high-horse statement...I just think that as a society, we have really slipped on letting people know we appreciate things about them and it isn't doing any of us any favors. I have always made a point of sending thank you notes - even for small things - and the effort is recognized. I also do this to set an example for my children.

My kids are 5, 7 and 12. My 5 y/o is developmentally delayed and cannot write yet. He had a b-day party in February and I wrote his thank you notes. My 7 year-old now writes her own - I have to stand over my 12 year-old, but he writes his own as well. I have always encouraged my children to do as much as they could. If they could write their name, they would do that. If they wanted to dictate the cards and I did the writing, that worked too.

I generally put the child's name on the return address, but I have both sent and received them both ways and don't really give any thought to it either way. From where I sit, the point is in the effort and the acknowledgement of the gift and participation in the party. I do write the notes from the child's point of view and to giver - even and especially if the giver is a child, regardless of how hold the child is, e.g., "thank you for coming to my party...I am really excited to play with the XYZ" rather than the parent thanking the parents/children.

Finally, I have a good friend who has a rule for her children...if a thank you note does not come with a stamp, it doesn't count - so she makes her children write them and mail them via USPS. It seems a little silly...especially in a neighborhood like ours where my children all have numerous friends who live across the street or down the block...but kids LOVE to get mail and her feeling is that the extra effort shows that you mean it - you aren't just doing it because you feel obligated and it's convenient.

Just my two cents...

Hi A.,
I understand your question. I always write the note from my husband and I. Thanking them for coming to the party, and that my child will enjoy what they gave him for a gift. Now that he is 4, I still write the note from me and my husband, but allow my son to sign his name. My 7 year old writes his own thank yous.

Hope this helped you out a little.
S.

My daughter just turned two. I write her thank-you notes as though she was writing them. I also tell her what I'm doing, so when she is older she can do them.
In regards to the return address labels, ours just have our family name. That way any one of us can use them.
I hope this helps.

I sent thank you notes after my son's 1st year birthday, because I think it is appropriate to do so. I wrote them as if my son was responding, nothing to wordy, just noting the specific gift and something about him enjoying it or if it was clothes, how much he will be needing them. Don't overthink it, but in this day and age, I do think they are appreciated.

For the return address, I just simply wrote our last name and address. That solves that problem:)

Have fun!........Jen

I wrote the cards from us as a family and included a "picture" he had colored in each. I used our families return address label. Personally, I think it would be a little goofy to write it from the child's point of view since they don't have a clue as to what is going on. I highly doubt you will offend anyone by doing it any way that you have described, usually (myself included) people are just thankful to receive the thank you note (it is getting quite rare these days to receive one).

I wrote the thank you notes from my daughters point of view. I thought it was cute and nice.

I sign it from the name of child and parents with my regular signature. I've sent a picture of the child as well, but not necessary.

Return address fine from you, parents who have excess money get all the other stuff, don't worry about that at all.

Any way you choose to handle it will be fine. Don't overthink it.

My kids are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. I write the thank-you's from their point of view and sign their names (because I thought it was a cute idea). I use my husband's return address labels for the envelopes (because that is quick and easy and we have a million of them).

Enjoy this happy occassion!

I'm not sure what's actually proper, but I wrote my sons 1st bday thank you as if he was writing them and only signed his name. We had a Cars theme party so I ordered Cars thank you notes and had Cars address labels made up with his name on them. I got a ton of compliments on how cute it was to get a thank you from my son, even tho it was obvious I wrote them. I got them all out the next day because I wasn't sure how long was proper to wait lol. I think either way that you mentioned would be ok though :) Whatever YOU like the best! :)

Hi A.! What I did was start a "gazette" Your last name-Gazette. I made it a letter with pictures of the party. I wrote a little story about "the elite" that attended- a list of all the children. I did not list the presents or the adults but I did write about the day & the fun that was had by all following with a big thank you from all the members of our family. SO, now I use "the gazette" for christmas cards, easter etc. I buy colored envelopes, I address them & have my daughters put stickers on them for her own added touch. I enclose holiday photos in each envelope for the holidays. So far I've had great response. Family & friends think they are so creative & love to hear a little about the day, the girls! Good luck & just have fun, really, they just get read & thrown away!

We had over 75 people for my son's first birthday party, so we took a picture of him from his party and made photo thank you cards with something saying "Thank you for coming & sharing in my special day."

I had a rather large party for my son and definitely wanted to do thank you notes, but same as you...wasn't too sure how to do it! I waited a bit and watched him play with all the gifts he got (if they were toys) and then wrote a thank you note from him saying how he played with the toy or loved the toy or whatever. If they gave money, I wrote in the note how mommy and daddy put it in my savings account for later. Everyone who I sent them to commented on how cute it was to get a note "from Carter" so that's what I'm doing from now on. This year I'll have him "sign" them with his crayons, though!

M.

Hi A.,
I went to a children's birthday party recently where they handed out the thank you notes to the guests as they were leaving. They gave children goodie bags and gave the adults the thank you notes which contained a picture of the birthday boy and were "signed" by him. I don't know if this is proper etiquette, but I thought it was smart! It saved time and $$ on postage, plus everyone enjoyed getting the photo of the little boy. That is what I plan on doing for my son's first birthday in May. Good Luck and enjyoy the party.

A., I am an older mom (kids are 20 and 13) but when they were little, I would write the thank you notes telling the giver how well they seem to enjoy playing with the toy, or how precious they looked wearing the outfit, etc. Then I would take finger paint and make finger prints with my baby and then sign my names as well.

Hi A.. My son recently just turned one and we had a rather large party for him with a general birthday theme. I don't believe there is any specific protocol for thank yous in terms of the return address, etc. What I did was I bought a bunch of multi-colored cards and envelopes and hand-wrote thank yous. I decorated the cards with stickers and then I put my son's hand print on the inside of each card as hid "signature." People loved it! I used non-toxic crayola paint. Truthfully that's about as personal as it was going to get from my son, as a one-year-old really has no concept of thank you or even of a birthday party. I got great responses from the card and most guests even saved them!

Personally, I think you should write the note as it's from the family and it's always nice to include a photo of your child playing with or holding the gift! Don't stress too much--the important thing is that you acknowledge the gift!

I don't know what Emily Post says about 1st birthday thank you notes, but I think that it's appropriate to send a thank you note. It makes more sense to write from the parents and mention the child, such as "Thank you for the toy lawn mower. Jimmy just loves using it to learn how to walk." I think this lets the giver know that the gift was appreciated.

I have always written them as if they were from my son. As far as return labels just used our family return labels...just made sure we always thank the family/person for sharing in the day and not focus on the gift.

Any way you choose to do the notes is perfectly fine. You can't please everyone, so do what you feel is appropriate. The important thing is to send a thank-you note. It's amazing that some people don't know that this is standard etiquette. They think that if they say "Thanks" to you at the party, then that's all that's required!!!

Hi A.,

I think if you open the gifts at the party, there is no need to send thank yous. If you don't open them at the party - then you need to send a thank you note. For my son, I wrote the thank you as if it was coming from him, not me. For the return address, I just put the family name. I think you can do it either way.

Congrats on your baby's 1st birthday!!

J.

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HI! My daughter just turned one last month. I wrote the thank you's from her and included a new picture of her. People called and said "Thank you for the beautiful thank you from Julia...Wow! She's a fine writer for such a young age." I also wrote out the return address in her name. Truthfully, I think people in general just like to be acknowledged for their present, so whatever you feel comfortable in doing is best! Good Luck and Happy Birthday to your baby! :)

For us, generalized Thank You etiquette applies.
Always, and within 30 days.
I think having the mark of the child would help the gratitude foundation grow, but at one not necessary.
No clue about the return address -- I would simply put the Family name and address.

Good Luck! Happy 1st!

Hi A.,

Since my daughter was born, she is 5 now, we always used her handprint as the background for the thank you note. It has become a tradition at this point, but until she could "write" I thought that was the best way for her to be involved.

The return address, I always use her name. Now that she is older, she thinks it is pretty cool. She still does the handprints, but now she decorates them too. Hope this helps!

I have a 3 year old and a newborn & have always written thank you notes for birthday gifts from the child's point of view. I also take a picture of the kiddo playing with the gift and include it with the card. Now that my son is 3, I ask him what he wants to say to the person to whom I am writing the card and I write whatever he says. I hope that helps.

A.,
When my children were that little I sent a thank you from me, my husband and my child. As they got older and learning to write I started letting them sign their name. Now my oldest writes her own out and my younger one still signs his name. They are 10 and 6. I have always used return labels so I do use those on the envelopes. I hope this helps.
L. R

I say do what you are most comfortable doing. My friend had her son's 3rd birthday party last October. For the thank you notes, she started by taking a picture of her son with each friend and the present the friend brought as he opened the presents. Then she had her son paint pictures on large sheets of paper. She cut the paper into note size pieces and used them to write the thank you note on. That way the note was from both of them. She included a picture of her son and his friend for the friend in the thank you note. They were very cute. Since they both made them together she put her name and his on the note and on the return address.

I don't think anyone will really critique you on how you send them out. My guess is that a good number of the parents will be refreshed to receive a thank you that doesn't come in the form of email or a phone call. ;)

Have fun!

A.,

I really dislike receiving thank you notes from such young children that are written in the first person, as if they come from the children. I think it's just silly, but you need to do what feels right, and in any event, it is most important that some sort of thank you note is sent, no matter from whom it comes. As for the return address, you can't go wrong either way. I usually put return address labels on any mail that involved my kids...photos of my kids going to the grandparents (even if the letter were from me), cards from my kids, etc.

Sometimes I would include photos and/or drawings my kids made, before and even after they could express themselves.

Once my kids could express themselves with a verbal thank you, I would transcribe their words, note the transcription on the cards, and send the cards from the kids. Before then, the cards always came from my husband and me.

Have fun at the party!

I have sent out about 2000 thank you notes since my kids were born. I always try to make them heartfelt and include a specific blurb about what they did or sent instead of a mass mailing of signed cards. Yes it takes forever, but I figure if people went out and shopped, or knitted, or cooked and packaged and mailed...you know, the notes should be nice.
As for proper names and form-I do all different things for all different people. The wackier people get a weird note directly from the baby with his forged signature and only his name in the return address. The conservative people get one from me signed by me on the baby's behalf and our family name in the return address.Some Christmas thank yous had forged notes from the two year old and the baby with two totally different personalities..whatever!!!! There is no "wrong way". No one would ever pooh pooh a nice note thanking them for something based on formalities. I hope-or I'm in trouble! I think the only wrong thing is not to send them. If you can print off a cool photo from the event to include it's also really nice. Congrats on the first birthday party!!!

Dear A.,
Have a wonderful birthday party. When it is time to write your notes, show your appreciation by writing the note from you and not your child. A letter or note should be written acknowledging how much you and your husband appreciate the gift for Charlie, and should not be written in baby talk as though Charlie is writing it.
Dear Olivia,
Thank you so much for the terrific jogging outfit for Charlie's first birthday. John and I can't wait until we parade him around Willow Grove Mall in that cute outfit. I love the froggy socks that match.
It was wonderful to share the day with you and little Richard. Let's get together again soon.
Love,
A.
Notice that Charlie didn't write it, neither did John. You wrote it, you acknowledged your gratitute. That is the proper way to write a thank you note for all gifts you receive. Also, your note should be handwritten and the envelope should not be a label, it should be hand written or computer generated from a printshop design.

I have always written the note as if it were from my child and the return address was also my child's. I did it because I thought it was cute. Regardless of who writes it, the gift giver is recieving "thanks" and that IS the whole purpose of the note in the first place.

i think any thank you card is fine and appreciated. its the thought that counts. lots of people i know dont even send thank you cards. my husband included. he seems to think that just saying thank you to the person when they give you the gift should be enough?? i, personally, like to send a little note showing my appreciation when it comes to a lot of things. i like the idea about pictured in your other response. i did that as well. i took pictures of my one year old with as many of her new presents as i could catch her playing with, and then i sent them to the appropriate person in a thank you card. i think i signed mine from ava. i dont think there is any etiquette rules when it comes to this. its a baby party, so they know its coming from the parents at this point. now, when they are 16 and have a party... i think they should be filling out their own cards at that point! but even my neice and nephew have sent cards. you can tell my sister writes some of it, that they might not be able to spell right now... and then they sign their own name. its too cute! dont stress about it. whatever you do will be fine. enjoy your daughters first birthday! its a great time. i wish i would have been more relaxed. i was so stressed making sure everyone had everything they needed and trying to be a good host... i hardly remember the actual party. i had to look back on the video to actually pay more attention to what my daughter was doing. dont make the same mistake i did :o( enjoy your little one year old! good luck!