Bathing - West Chester,OH

Do what works for you. I started showering my kids early and it didn't take too long before they could do most of it by themselves. Baths scare me, even now (my kids are 8 and 11) because I remember a friend telling me about an 8-yr old boy who was her son's friend. He slipped getting out of the tub (or playing in it) and hit his head. He drowned. I know this is not something that happens very often but I was told of it around 8 years ago and it stuck. I don't think you are being overprotective. When you are ready, then is the time to let him bathe himself or learn how to shower. My kids do like to take baths, so they sometimes do, but it doesn't happen very often anymore (mostly because it cuts into their play time).

Don't know when to stop, but I watch my 4.5 year old bathe with my almost 2 year old. I would leave my 4.5 year old to get jammies really really quickly but my almost 2 I wouldn't leave for a moment.

Don't leave until you feel really comfortable, as the consequences of being wrong are not something that could be lived with.

I don't even let my 3yr go in the bathroom to go potty by herself yet. There is too much trouble they can into. I don't think 3 is an appropriate age. I still sit right beside the tub when my daughter bathes. I don't want to take any chances!

Hi S.,
I have a 4 yr old son that I still watch while he takes a bath. I'll leave him for a minute or two, but I severely stress the importance of not getting up or trying to stand up until I get back. A little over a year ago, he did slip in the tub while trying to stand up. Thank God I was right there and was able to catch him, but not before his head went under the water slightly and got some up his nose. I think if I wasn't there, he would've inhaled more water due to the fact that it startled him so much. He still remembers the incident and understands why I tell him not to stand up. And I honestly don't see myself leaving him alone until he can start showering.

Since I know how much my son loves to play in the tub, I use the time to sit in there with him and either play with him and help him make a mess (LOL!) or use it as my own kind of quiet time. It's really the only time I get to read the newspaper, a magazine, or a few pages of a new book. I also have a wireless computer that I take in there to check email or surf the web for a second.

Leaving your child on their own in the tub is a decision you have to make as a mother. You know your children better than any of us moms on here. If you think they are careful and mature enough (even at 3 or 4 years old) to be left alone in the tub, then by all means go for it. But if the back of your head all you can think of is "What if...?", then don't. Because like the old adage goes, it's always better to be safe than sorry.

I have 5 children.....I am never more than a "step" away (literally) from going in and helping the 7 and 6 year old girls....I am usually in the bathroom "doing" something (usually cleaning up dried toothpaste from the sink, but that's a whole other post!)...or right outside the bathroom door...so the second I hear "Mommy!" or I hear a bang that isn't familiar, I'm right there...

My 5 year old....she takes baths and I leave the door open to dart in and out (again, still only right outside the door folding linens or something...

I don't think, with water, you can be too cautious....it was just a week ago that my 5 year old was laying down in the water (I never have it too high so her head is covered...she was laying there, face sticking out...) and I was walking in and out...kept glancing down at her..and within just a minute or two, she'd fallen asleep in the tub...

If I hadn't been right there I wouldn't have noticed...and maybe she could have turned over and drowned? (Okay, the likelihood of her not waking up would be slim, but certainly would have caused problems had she rolled over and breathed in bath water!)

Sorry to go on about this...but as a former child protection worker...I did see true "accidents" with infants and toddlers in the bathwater...also know of a situation where a child was in the shower (3 year old) and slipped and broke his arm...(an accident, but still.....)

I would never do it.....is it worth the risk? I take my phone in with me....use that time...while I'm sitting NEXT to the tub/shower.....to chat with a girlfriend, to pay some bills, to balance my checkbook, to make my grocery list....you can multi-task while your child is in the tub...

Good Luck and sorry for babbling...

3 is definitely too young, whether they can swim or not. We let our 6 yo shower by herself, which she has been doing for 2 years now; but I don't think I would be comfortable with her taking a bath alone, even though she is an extremely proficient swimmer. I would rather be overprotective than lose my child to something so easy to prevent like drowning in the bathtub.

Dear S.,

Have you "Drown Proofed" your child? It is something they teach to toddlers so if they fall into a body of water they know how to survive. A three year old may be old enough to drown proof and teach how to swim. If he knows how to swip the odds of him drowning in the tub will be pretty slim.

God Bless,

S.

Three is too young to be left alone. You're not overprotective, S..

We started leaving our children alone when they reached five. We felt comfortable with it, (and our pediatrician said 5 was the right age to start doing this) and we knew that if our child went under, they were big enough to come right back up in six inches of water. (barring any head injuries, of course!) So, at five, we could hear them playing and singing, and felt okay with it. But, I'll tell you what, if they ever stopped making noise, and I only heard silence for more than 20 seconds, I was in that bathroom like a shot! :)

Always trust your instinct! Keep doing what you're doing.
Blessings, J.

My son just turned 4 and I still do all of the cleansing part of the bath, then I let him play, but I usually stay in the bathroom. Occasionally I will pop out for a moment, but never very long. I feel like as long as they want to take a bath, they should be monitored, even if they are old enough to wash themselves. The possibility of drowning scares me too much to leave any child alone in the bath for very long. Maybe I'm over protective, but as long as he chooses to bathe instead of shower, I will be checking on him every few minutes!!

I TOTALLY agree. I think three is definitely too young. We started at about five. You'll know. If you don't feel comfortable, don't. Better to be safe than sorry.

About four, we began to do things like go get jammies, etc. just to make the transition, making sure NOT to be gone more than a minute or two, if that. That gives both parent and child time to adjust. Then, later on, you can check laundry, put clothes in dryer, etc.....things that take another couple minutes, as you make the transition.

In addition, good to stay w/in earshot. In other words, plenty of, "Are you doing okay?"...."Have you washed your feet yet?" etc. That way you get a RESPONSE, knowing they are okay w/ out freaking out. Sing songs, have them sing one to you.....as LONG AS you're in the next room where you can hear and they can hear you.

I agree that 3 is too young to leave alone in the bathtub. The child could stand up and slip, bump her head, any number of things. Mine will be 5 in May, and while I will leave the bathroom to get her pajamas ready or something like that, I can always still hear her. She plays in a lively way, so I make sure I can hear her if I leave the room.

My son is 4.5 years old and I would never let him take a bath by himself. For one reason he wouldn't clean himself. Drowning is the number 1 cause of accidental death in children.

I think 3 years old is way too young to be near water by oneself. I would make sure the water level is very low and put non-slip mats in the bottom of the tub. Some children are very mature for their age, and they may desire to have more privacy and be able to wash themselves at 5 and 6 years.

I personally do not trust that my child would consistently clean themselves appropriately. Even with my step-daughter up to age 10, I would still check in on her or listen at the door to hear splashing. Young children often skip areas of cleaning such as the face, bottom and feet. Hair is a difficult thing to wash on their own. My step daughter has a lot of hair, and she still gets help from her mother with combing out tangles, conditioning, maintenance and styling.

My little boys have eczema. Even children that do not have eczema can experience extremely dry and irritated skin from not properly rinsing soap off the skin and hair.

A friend of mine's son purposely skips cleaning certain areas. He tries to trick mom and dad by just hanging out in the water and not using soap. I think he's like 12.

I think it really depends on your personal relationship with your children. With my 3 and 4 year old, I don't leave them alone. I might run to the closet to get a washcloth, but that's the longest amount of time they get alone.

Heck... I've slipped in the shower before, so anyone at any age really could get hurt or drown in just a little bit of water.

I don't know but I don't think I'd leave a 3-yr-old alone, I don't know that I'd leave a 4- or 5-year-old alone...What you're worried about in the bath isn't falling over and not being able to get up, but falling and hitting her head and not being able to get up. Kids stand and slip all the time, I want to be there to pick my kids up if that happens.
I just take a book or the paper in with me and let my son play for as long as he wants! lol

My oldest is 5 1/2 and we don't leave her alone to bathe -- I wouldn't consider you over protective. I think the age is just when you become comfortable that he/she can properly clean themselves & when you don't have to worry about drowning (as much). You can watch him/her bathe themselves until you get comfortable with it. Then, you can keep the bathroom door open so you can hear if they fall or something. Just some ideas.

Sorry that I can't give advice as to what age, but I hope it still helped! =)

i think the same way 3 is too young to leave unattended in the bathtub. i think, u will know when it is time to leave them alone to take a bath. but to put an age i think 5 is a good age, b/c they start school and start to become their own little person. good luck!!!

We have a 5 year old and a 2 year old, and one of us is either in the bathroom with them, or in the bedroom getting ready to help with "wet/naked booties". We know the 5 year old will be okay, but the 2 year old is just too young to leave in there even with her big sister in there with her.

We're both upstairs so that if one of us needs to do something or needs help, then the other is there too.

Hey S.,

Drowning is a silent event, so you are right to be protective. When is not a hard and fast rule, it depends on your child's maturity both physical and mental, but I seem to remember that you should not think about doing this before they reach 5.

My oldest wanted to spend time in the tub playing, and my solution to this was to put her in the shower instead, without any means to plug the drain.

M.

My daughter is 3 1/2 and I do not let her bathe by herself. I am always in there with her. If she had an older sibling then I might consider it but she is an only child so far.

You are not too overprotective. Friends of mine are still close by when their 10 year old is in the tub.

My little ones are almost 4yrs and 18 months and they now take a bath together with me supervising (and washing) of course.
I don't say this to scare any one, but my neighbors had a 3 yr old grand daughter where the dad left the bathroom for just a couple minutes and when he came back the little one had passed away. She was on some medicine at the time and they later found out that that was the cause, but it is still enough to make you really think twice about EVER leaving one that little unsupervised in the tub.

I don't think my mom left me unsupervised in the tub till I was 7 or 8 yrs old and they she would still knock on the kitchen wall (which was a shared wall next to the tub)and I was supposed to knock back.

you will feel more comfortable nearer the age of 5.dont worry you will know when you would leave a child alone in the tub.it only takes a tablespoon of water for a child to drown.3 is definitely too Y..K.

YOu seem to have gotten alot of varying opinions. I'll add mine just because I think it's important. DO NOT leave a 3 year old by themselves in the bathtub. I have a 15, 12 and 2 year old. I didn't leave the older two alone until they were about 7. Then I'd check on them to make sure they were okay.

It's so easy for a child to drown in a small amount of water. It just isn't worth taking the chance.

I am so glad you posted this request. I have a 4 yr old and an almost 2 yr old and I have been wondering the same thing. Last week my 4 yr old told me I could leave the two of them alone in the tub, but I just don't feel confortable doing that just yet. I do walk out for a minute or two, but I am always close by and the bathroom door is always open.

I think it totally depends on the child.
At 3 I left my child alone long enough to run to my room and get a book (literally 10 steps away). I would stand in the hall and talk to him while checking to make sure a pot wasn't boiling over, or run out to turn off the oven but go right back.
My son is a very cautious child. At 3, he refused to go under water. Washing his hair, no water could run down his face and the tub could only have just enough water to cover his legs or he would freak out b/c it was too deep. He wouldn't stand or move too much in the water b/c he feared it. I felt safe that he wasn't going to end up under water easily.
Now, my neice I don't leave alone. She has no fear and would jump right into a swimming pool without swimmies (actually she has) without anyone around. I would never ever leave the bathroom with her in a tub.

You are wise to watch your child in the tub. They should be watched until they are big enough to get in and out of the tub without any trouble, otherwise they could fall and hit their head, which could result in unconsciousness, a bump on the head, concussion, or even a laceration.
Of course, at age 3, 4, 5, if you need to run out to get something for a second that is one thing, but I would not leave them for long.
I'm sure the 3 year old probably can bathe themselves, but what about washing their hair? If something bad happens to the child while unattended in the tub, the parents could be charged with neglect.

My little boy is 3-1/2. His bath is attached to his bedroom so I will let him play in the tub by himself with the door open while I busy myself in his bedroom. I am right around the corner and peek in on him often while still letting him feel independent. I will go in towards the end of bathtime and wash him up. Hope this helps.

I think it depends on your house layout and your situation. When my 2 youngest (ages 1 and 3) are in the tub together, I will leave the bathroom for a minute at a time. I will leave for 4-5 minutes at a time if it's just the 3 year old in the tub. I leave the door open and am 5 feet away just inside the girls' bedroom (with door open). I can watch them the entire time and can definately hear them. They are safe. If I have to dart out of sight for a minute to do something with/for the other chidren, then I tell the 3 year old to sing or talk so I can hear her.

We started to leave the kids alone in the tub/bathroom with the door shut when they turned 4 and started asking for privacy.

I'm with the girls most of the time, but it's simply not possible to stay 100% of the time when I'm the only parent home and I have other children needing attention.

We just recently started allowing our 3 1/2 year old daughter to take a shower, not a bath alone. The only problem we find is that when she is unattended the shower takes twice as long and she wont really get herself clean. It is definitely more convienent for us not to have to police her while she is in there but I dont think at 3 she is at the age where she is responsible enough to make sure everything is getting clean instead of playing around. I dont personally think you are being over protective. I used to slide down the back of our bath tub all of the time not realizing I could hit my head or hurt myself. I think it is all in personal prefrence. Good Luck!

I can not picture a three year old "bathing" themselves. Sorry they just aren't able to wash correctly at that age, but what do I know, I am only 56 and raised 2 and raising a 3rd child now 10. Frankly the 10 year old doesn't always wash himself as well as I would like him too!!! I guess it depends on you and the child. I would draw the bath, only a couple of inches of water by age 2(you can drown in 6 inches of water!) and go in and bathe the child, wash hair if it was needed, then leaving the door open step out of the room for about two minutes if I couldn't hear the child. I would walk back in and check on them then leave again. After 10 to 15 minutes it was time to get out. The youngest is a water baby like my oldest was. They loved the water!!!! Would have played in the tub for 3 or 4 hours if I would have let them!!! I had 2 and 1/2 baths so I would use the one down by the children's bedrooms for them to bathe in. I could go into their rooms with the bathroom door open and get out their jammies, pick up if it was messy, etc., while they had their play time in the tub. Even at 4 and 5 I would draw the bath, make sure they washed well, got the all the shampoo out of their hair etc., and always was at that end of the house with the door open while they bathed and had their play time in the tub. I understand your concerns, but play time in the tub was something they enjoyed and I wanted them to enjoy the bath experience.

Hello S., I do not think your being over protective. When my 2 boys were small I watched them in the tub until they started to feel uncommfortable with mom being in there. My boys were 7.5 years apart and usually the youngest when he was about 3 ish would bath with his brother, I still was right out side the door because that made Mike about 10. I would step in when I felt the little one was in long enough and step back in with a towel and dry him off so Mike could finish. When I was watching my littlest grandson who just turned 3 I never left him alone. What if they slip and go under the water he had no swim training. I would think if they had swim training and you knew for sure they would know to sit up then it might be okay but what if they hit their head. Anyone who thinks your a worry wart I feel doesn;t care enough. What is wrong being there if not for your piece of mind. Have you ever sliped in the bath or shower? I need someone to be here when i am in the shower or tub. I have fallen. Haven't gotten hurt but whose's to say next time I won't hit my head. The tub is hard.