At What Age Can You Leave Kids Alone in the Bath?

Updated on March 20, 2011
J.M. asks from Framingham, MA
18 answers

At what age did you start leaving your kids to take a bath on their own? I know my daughter still needs help getting her whole body clean and washing her hair, but a good amount of bathtime is just playtime. Just not quite sure when the shift to bathing alone happens. Thanks!

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C.O.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't leave her alone. Not to scare you but I do know someone who lost their child to drowning in the bath tub at age five. Too much can happen...Please don't leave her alone...

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A.S.

answers from Boston on

My rule of thumb is whenever they know how to swim, or at least know to hold their breath under water.

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

I think most people would tell you NOT to leave any child unattended. I have a 4 yr old who still takes baths & if i leave the room its only to go in my room, which is right next to it. Sometimes i might check on dinner if its cooking at the time, keep in mind its less than a minutes time. But its always with the door open & so i can hear her & to be realistic you can't trust that nothing would never happen. Its too risky. My 7 yr old ( no matter how many times is told) will have a mess wheather its with the powder, playing with the soap, spraying the mirror with water, etc. So - not until they're mature enough.

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K.E.

answers from Boston on

My oldest son is a little more than 3, and I stay in the bathroom with him for the majority of his bathtime even though I'm pretty sure he'd be fine on his own. I do leave for less than a minute to check on dinner, answer the phone, or get pajamas etc., but I leave the door open and make sure I can hear the signs of happy playtime. I am not really sure when you can stop watching so closely, but I'd say maybe once your child knows how to swim? Even though swimming in a bathtub would be difficult, I figure that a kid who knows how to swim probably knows how to hold her breath and keep her head out of the water. It's probably also an individual answer based on the kid. How likely is your daughter to panic? The one time my son slipped and ended up with his head partially under water in the bath (he was a little over 2, I think, and very physically coordinated), he completely panicked and was unable to quickly get himself up because he wasn't thinking clearly. My gut says to at least keep the door open until your daughter is 6.

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J.L.

answers from Boston on

As a mother of 5 - the answer is really "never". Okay, I am exaggerating. But it's easy for a child to forget how slippery the tub/floor is and stand to reach something and fall. If you need to be out of the room for a short period, be sure to call the child's name frequently and remind them not to lay down or stand up. (They can't hear you when they lay down :) When you don't have time to be very near by, change to showers.

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M.H.

answers from Springfield on

My pediatrician said 10. TEN! I think that's a little much- but I would have to say that when they are mature enough... I, too, leave and go back but always listen for "happy play".

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N.B.

answers from El Paso on

My son started walking at 8 months and his coordination is outstanding. I started walking out for a minute or so (always with the door open)-he's 18 months old-and squeals the whole time he's in the bath. -SO i can always hear him-our bedrooms are right outside the bathroom, so while he's playing, i'm tidying up a bit! I can always hear him-soo anytime i hear a splash-i peek my head in! i've seen him slip while i'm sitting next to him, and he always keeps his head up! If in fact i hear a loud splash-i'm always there in earshot, and close enough to check-but come on-people are saying 7?? thats rediculous!!! be vigilant-this is my third baby and i'm always careful, i just let them play, while i tidy-i also use this time as an opportunity to clean the bathroom!

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

Mine are 8, 4 and 2 and I still watch them in the tub. It only takes a second for something to happen and only 1/2 an inch of water to drown.
Playtime or not, someone should always be watching them.

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R.W.

answers from Hartford on

I read one of the replies that said they leave their 3 1/2 year old in the tub alone while in the next room. Are you insane?!! Google how many children have drowned at or around that age in the bathtub while the parents were "in the other room." That age is too young to leave your child alone. I started letting my daughter take a bath alone at 8. At that age is when they start to feel like they need just a little bit of privacy without mom peeking over their shoulder constantly. Even now I still knock on the door and wait for a "yes mom" answer to make sure they are ok, and they are now 8 and 10. Please do not go on the advice to leave a 3 1/2 year old alone. If something were to happen, god forbid, you would be the one hauled away in handcuffs. It is better to be safe than sorry!!

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A.H.

answers from Boston on

I think it depends on the child. My twins are 4. I have a super-well behaved daughter, and I'll put laundry away in the next room while she's in the tub alone, because she knows, and follows! all the rules. I never leave the room when her twin brother is in the tub, either alone or with her, because he's too busy doing his own thing to be safe or follow rules.

Since a lot of the time is playtime, I'll take a book and sit and read in the bathroom on a little chair, or I'll sit with my computer just outside the bathroom door - where I can see them but the water can't reach the computer. They don't need "active" supervision, just someone there in case of a problem.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

When she's old enough not to stand up under any circumstances. The danger of slipping and falling and bonking the head is the problem, not just slipping under the water and being able to sit back up. I would stay there until at least 7 or 8, frankly. Take your flyers in and clip coupons, or take your checkbook and pay some bills - or maybe sit right outside where you can hear her singing or splashing, whatever she is doing.

A friend of mine fell in the shower at 34 last year - she hit her head and wasn't found for 2 days. She had died from a head injury. So I guess we're never really safe. But a child has to be responsible enough to remain seated and not be standing up to grab a washcloth or a toy that fell out of the bath. It will be a long time before she is trying to kick you out for reasons of privacy - maybe when she gets to that point, she's mature enough.

Good luck - these issues are so hard, aren't they?

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R.F.

answers from Boston on

My son will be 6 in June and I do not leave him alone at all. At most I will go to his room to get his bathrobe if he forgets to bring it in with him. His room is across the hall from the bathroom and I am only gone for about 20 seconds because his bathrobe hangs on a hook right next to his door. He is capable of washing up by himself but I sit in the bathroom with him to make sure he is safe. Just a few weeks ago he went to lay back to get his hair wet and accidently went under and was so scared I had to pull him up from under the water. he started swimming under water last summer so it has nothing to do with if they are comfortable in the water or not. he knows how to hold his breath but he didn't expect to go under so his still got too scared to save himself. I hate to think what would have happened if I had been out of the room for a minute or more when he did this.

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C.G.

answers from Boston on

you have so many responses, but i wanted to respond because i too was questioning this. i really think it all depends on the layout of your house and dynamics of your family. for instance. my daughter is 3 1/2. she takes a bath with my 9 month old(supervised of course), but then it's time to take the little one out and get her all set so i can do my older one. i go right in the next room and can hear my daughter playing clearly. once my little one is all set, i stay close to the bathroom, but not always right there. she takes long baths now because she likes to play. and now having a baby, it doesn't allow me to sit in there the whole time. i don't leave her and go do dishes or watch tv because then i wouldn't be able to hear her. and i don't go upstairs for the same reason. but if i need to play on the floor in the next room with the little one(instead of the bathroom floor), then it's fine. use your judgement, you know your kids. if they push and shove, then don't let them in there together alone. but if the older one does fine alone, stay close by and teach her the rules of not standing up or getting out by herself.

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

My oldest is 7 and he wasn't left until he was almost 6 and thats the age he started taking showers.

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S.D.

answers from Boston on

Teaching your child independence is the best gift you can give them. Every child has their own maturity level. At some point they are going to become aware of their naked bodies and will feel weir being naked in front of you. You can help your child become independent by using the shower instead of a bath. (kinda like going from the bottle to the sip cup) Worries about drawing can be diminished, privacy and independence will be introduce; and you can still direct your child how to clean their bodies while safety and privacy is maintain. In no time your child will become a pro in the shower!
PS: Place a non-slip mat and always be the one in charge of turning on/off the water until you feel they can do it on their on.
Good luck to all parents out there!

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

Dear J.,

i am also interested in this question. I have asked other moms and looked into books before. My books only say: never leave an infant alone, they can drown in an inch of water. There is also the issue of scolding oneself by turning on the hot water, and, possibly the danger of drinking shampoo etc (though i do trust my little ones to have more sense than that). Other moms' experience tells me that children in general drown very easily, even if they live near the sea and experience water everyday. The saddest story is the one of a five-year-old playing in shallow water with two of his older siblings, who then drowned a few yards away from his father, who was sitting on the beach reading a book. So, given these and other stories, i am a little paranoid about this (or is it realistic?). I think i will go with the first mom who responded and never leave my children alone before they are 7 or even older.... Looking forward to other responses.

Happy bathtimes,
D.

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

Four is to young to leave alone in the tub. I had always stayed in the bathroom with my children. I can't even tell you what age was the correct age because I don't think I ever left them in a tub alone until they were old enough to take a shower by themselfs. I believe that age was 7, with the door open.

daisie

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C.C.

answers from Springfield on

J.,

My eight-year-old niece was visiting last summer with her parents. She decided to take a shower, which I guess she does at home unsupervised. She thought that the hand-held sprayer was so cool that she sprayed the entire ceiling, which dripped on the floor and created a HUGE mess in the house that we were trying to get ready to sell. A month later, in our new house, she couldn't figure out how to make the water warm, so I go to check on her and she's in a tub of ice water freezing her little bum off. Maybe she's okay at home unsupervised, but my brother and sister-in-law should have been less focused on themselves and more focused on their child. And what if she had gotten hurt in either of those two instances? I couldn't have lived with myself. We have a responsibility as parents and sometimes we forget how delicate their lives truly are.

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