Bar Hopping

I have friends that have the same attitude towards life and they HAVE children. They think its only fun if its without the kids. Personally i did the bar scene to death, now i enjoy other things, like the beach, ice skating, river trips, skating in the park, even just going out to eat, the zoo, or theme parks is much more fun than hanging out in a smokey bar while drunk men hit on me.

Thats just me though

Well when I was younger (pre motherhood) I did go out a lot. Then for decades when the kids were younger it did not appeal to me at all.

Now, my kids are 18,16,14, I find myself enjoying the relaxing kid free atmosphere again, with my guy, or without.

Only now I call it going out for a couple, rather than bar hopping!

:)

sad but true yes honestly my favorite nights of the week are Sunday and Monday my favorite TV shows come on cable and I stay up late (honestly midnight is LATE) to watch after the kids have gone to sleep my DH and I have a glass of wine or beer and relax. I went out to a bar recently with my sisters it was loud obnoxious by the time I got home I was so wound up my head was killing me and all I could think of was " I have to get up and make breakfast this is going to suck"

We have our favorite bars, wine bars, music places, etc that we still enjoy going to.

Just because we became parents 16 yrs ago did not mean we stop living our life as a couple. I see so many moms who transform to frump after baby and that is not me.... I continue to blossom and enjoy it. I go out with girl friends as well..

We will be married 23 years on new Years Eve and we have not missed many weekly date nights since we got together and since daughter was born.

No, we don't go out and get sloppy drunk and it is not "looking for attention" either. We enjoy going out and we do it often. We stay home as a family often as well.

It's called Balance and moderation.

If you don't like it, don't do it. Everyone has their own thing! Just because you 2 are not on the same page does not make either of you wrong. Be glad she is able to do what makes her happy just like you do what makes you happy!

Oh my God, yes!! Please don't make me bar hop!! I would like a table, please, and a nice waiter or waitress to bring me my drinks. So much better than fighting my way across a sticky floor and grabby guys just so I can drop 20 bucks on a round of drinks that I'm going to spill most of anyway because someone shoved into me in their rush to get to the dance floor. My husband and I like our quiet. Not because we're boring, but because we did a fair amount of partying when we were younger and kind of "got it out of our systems". When I was in college and grad school, and even in my early married days, I totally didn't mind the whole scene. We laugh about it now because we're going to bed at 10:30. 15 years ago, I was getting myself fixed up to go OUT at 10:30. Madness! Anyway, we have several friends who seem trapped in a time warp, still living like they're 22 when they're knocking on 40's door. Mostly my husband and I just laugh at them and appreciate our hangover-free fun. Great post.

is your sister young? maybe thats why because she's young and no family like u said, and bar hoping , going out, is the thing , whats "in" right now and since she has so much fun she can't imagine anybody else not doing that. Been there done that. I am in my late twenties with a 17 month old. Before my hubby and i had our son we did all that and more. I had my share of fun and so did he so we don't miss it , don't need it, don't want it. As far as drinking, eh, we drink when and if we want. whether its at a party, or dinner, or at the house. But i honestly don't see myself bar hoping again. Pretty lame for me. I guess i'm boring too. I had enough of it and i'm over it. I guess there comes a time in life where you "get over" those types of things

Yes - I love having a glass of wine but I HATE going to bars!!! No way! I get a zillion times more enjoyment out of spending a day and night with my husband and 2 awesome kids than I could ever get out of being at a bar. I think you are very normal, and to me that just signals contentment. Personally for me, yes it's fun to see friends, but we just do that at each other's houses usually, I have no need or desire to go out and meet random people. Plus like you said who wants to stay out late and not be fresh in the morning? The most we do is get a babysitter on rare occasion and my husband and I go out to dinner, about once or twice a year we might also see a concert. It's fun to have a little adult time with him. But after a night of that I'm good at home for at least a few months. We also really love taking the kids on road trips or just playing outside at the nature preserve or somewhere for the day. We just love our home life and don't feel like we're missing anything. I just don't want to miss any of this childhood!

hmmmm im on the fence on this one. Hubby and I were married 10 years before we had our 1 kid. I miss my bar hopping..however I think the difference is we have zero support where we live. its just me, him and our kid (well and our dogs too) while i enjoy our family time...the ONLY thing I have is work for 10 hours a day, then its family time til baby goes to bed at 8, then its time to do my list of a million home stuff (laundry, the usual) on the weekends, I am usually doing a project that I cant do during the work week and at night we cant do anything unless we pay someone to watch our kid...usually hubby and I sit at home and watch TV or a movie...and after 3 years...THAT has gotten pretty old. I would love to drop my baby off at grandmas house for a night, get all dressed up and go out and dance the night away..not that drinking HAS to be invovled but i would probably have a beer or two....however I am sure if I went out every weekend and 'clubbed' that would get old too...guess a balance of both worlds would be cool.

I mean, yes I would rather stay home or just go out for dinner and drinks, but I do agree with Sis that it was pretty fun back in the day! ;) And, my husband and I recently went on a cruise without our kids and I must admit that we stayed up lots of nights drinking with our friends and bar hopping on the ship...not having to get up in the morning with kids did kind of make it fun again!

I'm with you. I got the "bar hopping" out of me during my college years. It's fun to sit with my hubby at a bar and have a beer once in a while, but not on a weekend night when all the drunken crazies are out. I much prefer staying at home or finding something else fun to do.

Absolutely! Been there, done that. My husband and I met in our early 20s, dated for four years before marriage, then had our child 8 years later so we have certainly sowed our wild oats and gotten that all out of our systems. Now, when we want to socialize, we have our great family friends over w/ their kids and we all hang out, barbecue, etc. If we drink, there is an open invitation to spend the night and they take us up on it. (But let me stress that we're not drunk around our children, but who needs to take a chance??)

The closest thing we get to a bar these days is a nice restaurant bar where we go primarily to have dinner on a date night. That's where the 30s/40s and on up go these days to imbibe, not so much bars in my opinion.

Anyway, your sister just sounds like she's in a different place than you are right now.

My life sounds more like yours. We never go to bars. I was thinking to myself just the other day that my life would seem boring to many looking from the outside, but the only thing that matters to me is the knowledge that I'm having a blast with my little family. Yes, your sister is the sad one. The bar life is a desperate life and a boring one compared to the joy that kids bring. When we go out to restaurants and see all the people in the bar we both acknowledge we are so glad not to be in that stage of life.

You and your sister just have totally different interests. It may change one day when she has a family and she may become more like you. No, I don't enjoy bar hopping any more but I used to when I was younger and before I was a mom. That said, I did go out for one drink with a girlfriend last month. The bar had a band playing and it gave me happy memories of my bar-hopping days :) But I was happy to walk back home to hubby and kiddos after about 45 minutes of being there.

My bar hopping days are over and I'm 25. I have two kids and don't have ANY desire to do that anymore. I am friends with a couple same age as me that also have 2 young children and go out to the bars almost every weekend! They seem to love it though.

Yes.
Kids vs. No kids = a world of difference.

I would much rather stay home with my family. 10years ago i would have rather been out with my friends until who knows when...thats no longer the life for me. I would rather put the kids to bed early and have a little time just me & the husband! ( even if the most exciting thing going on is watching dancing with the stars!)

You are letting her make you feel like this. You need to be more confident in the choice you have made-it is a good one and a mature one. What I would be doing if I were you is when she calls you boring I would redirect that insult to HER and make HER feel bad for having such a shallow life with no true meaning other than partying. I would also remind her that slowly but surely her party friends will drop out of the club because they get a real life and one day she will look around and discover that the group she is hanging with at the bar is the group of 'losers' that she used to make fun of when she was young and all that.

I think it's about finding a good balance with what you enjoy, no matter what it is.

I like doing things with my family, but I also like being able to go out with my hubby or friends, no matter what the setting is. I wouldn't pick a bar all of the time, but it's a great place to people watch, and it's a fun to remember what it was like when we did that all of the time and tell the stories that go along with those times!

If you and your sister are on different pages about this, try finding something you guys can do together that will open up your conversations. I don't know if that's a possibility (schedules/distance, etc..), but I'm wondering if she talks about going out because she doesn't have much else to talk about with you. If she thinks you're a bore because you don't go out like she does, find a way to include in her what you like to do, and she'd see that you aren't a bore. Of course, she may have a view that if you don't go out every weekend, you're a bore no matter what. If that's the case, you can't change that, you can only change the way you think or react to her. You wish she wouldn't judge you by what you do or don't do, and you should grant her the same thing.

We are all different in what makes us "tick" so to speak, some people love the laid back, cozy lifestyle, and others get their rush from being as social and visible as possible. Neither one is wrong, maybe just wrong for a specific person.

Good luck with finding a different commonality with your sister!!

I occasionally go out "bar hopping" may once every 6 weeks. I have found though, that is enough for me. I detest hangovers now - I really can't handle them and I feel that it is a total waste of a valuable day to be feeling ill over something self inflicted. So I really don't drink as much as I used too. I would rather spend time with my daughter on my valuable weekends (I work full time)
:-)

You aren't alone. I never was into the bar scene nor heavy drinking. I like doing things that I am not going to be embarrassed (or should be) the next day. I also never went to parties in High school for the same reason... a lot of drunk people act really stupid and I don't want to be one of them.

People aren't all the same. I think we forget that our life isn't necessarily for them. I am in my young thirties so I still have friends that don't, and most of those never will, have children and prefer bar hoping. I don't mind to go every once in awhile but just like you I'd rather be with my children and husband.

Just remember you two live two very different lives and neither one of you is correct. You are correct for you. That is what matters. Sometimes we just have to grin and bare things. I'm sure she'd pry feel just like you when you tell her about what you guys have done.

I'm sorry she is judgemental though and making you question the way you live your life. Just remember we all do it they way we want to and that is exactly as we should. Life is short and live your life how you want to and don't apologize for it. Of course always remember as long as you aren't hurting other people while doing it.

I do the set-up and tear down for a band, so I spend a lot of time at bars. some nights I don't drink at all, if I do I drink only one. Since I have known the musicians in the band 29 yrs I have a lot of friends who come out just to see them. We hang out, talk and dance. I mostly enjoy going out to dance, it's great exercise. I do see a lot of people who feel they have to get wasted and annoying, then I end up playing band security.
Going out to dance and have fun is fine if that's what you enjoy but drinking until you are wasted is a total waste of time and money.
When I get hit on by men, I'm not interested in and they don't get the hint, I have a set of business cards with my name on them and the phone number is for the 'rejection hotline'. When they call the number they get a recorded message that tells them I'm not interested.

Wow! Sounds like that sister of yours really got under your skin. :) You can't let that bother you. You know you're not a bore and your life sounds very fulfilled. You have a family that you cherish and a husband that you love. She is just simply not in the same place in her life as you are in yours. All of us share the desire to be happy...you have found your vehicle. It sounds as if your sister either a) can't understand the level of happieness you have acheived in your life because she hasn't experienced it in hers...or b) might feel a little bit envious of the life she's watching you live. You've made good choices that work for you and your family. Don't question yourself...and remember that while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

To each their own.
DH has never been into the bar scene so even when I do go out to a bar, he's never there with me. It doesn't make him boring, he just likes different things. :)
As for what we do for fun as a couple, it might be considered even more boring. What we love to do most is hang out with friends either at their house or at ours. We always have these plans to play a game or watch a movie or something and then end up gabbing with everyone all night instead of doing anything like that.