85 answers

Question for Married Women Only

Lately my housband has become controlling and I told him that I refuse to be in a controlling relationship. He says that he is not and to ask other married women. That he is sure you all will agree with him. I explained to him that "girls night out" is wherever the girls want to go hang out. It may be a movie, club, or wherever. Its just so happen that my friends and I like going to the club. he says, "a married woman has no business in the club". First off, I am a SAHM, dinner is ready everyday, house is clean and the kids is taken care of. What is so wrong with me haveing fun with friends once a month? Its not like I go every weekend. Then he says, "a married woman has no business hanging out with single women". He dont want me to hang out with my single friends anymore. Ladies do you agree with all this? Do your housbands think this way? My only rule for him is "no strip clubs". But he come back at me and says well thats where men like to hang out. Thats where they like to go for a guys night out. I dont want him to go to the strip club, he dont want me going to the club, but these are places that we want to go for our "girl/guy night out". What would you do? Give me an honest answer.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thankyou everyone. I asked for you all to be honest and I can tell that you all gave an honest answer. I would just like to clear a few things up tho. Its not all about going to the clubs, I am passed the club phase and let all of that go when I said "I do". I dont go out and party with friends every weekend. Now some of you may like to do boring stuff like play golf (who does that?) for your girls night or dinner, which we do lunch and shopping sometimes. But sometimes we do the club, a mature 25 and older club or a jazz spot that play live music. We just go to have drinks, eat some wings and laugh. Cause once you are intoxicated everything is funny. My housband and I have date night, we have time that we spend with friends, we spend most of the time doing things with the kids and then I have this one night with my friends. No I donot want him to come with me to the club. Why call it a girls night if he is there? He is being controlling by trying to tell me where I can and cannot go and by choosing my friends.

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I'm sorry but I think you are both playing games. I think you ought to get a babysitter and go out with eachother.

15 moms found this helpful

My husband has no issues with me spending evenings with the women he calls my outlaw girlfriends, some of whom are married, some of whom are single. He just tells us not to get arrested because he can't afford to post bail.

6 moms found this helpful

I don't like the fact that he is being controlling. But with that being said, here is my honest opinion. I am also a stay at home mom and work very hard as I know you do! My husband has no problem with me having girls night, in fact, he says I need some fun time. I have married friends and single friends, but would not go to a club unless I was with my husband. Clubs are kind of where you pick people up at, so I can kind of see his point there.You should be able to hang out with whoever you want though. I would go to a movie, out to eat, shopping, etc...with my girlfriends. Now, I aso have a rule about no strip clubs. My feeling is you married me and I should be the only one you see naked PERIOD! Hope this helps!

6 moms found this helpful

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I'm sorry but I think you are both playing games. I think you ought to get a babysitter and go out with eachother.

15 moms found this helpful

He has no business at a strip club and you and your girls should find something else to do than go to a club.

12 moms found this helpful

He's right. A married woman has no business at a club unless she is with her husband. And, you're right. A married man has no business at a strip club unless he is with his wife.

I won't even call male friends on the phone. There are certain things married people just shouldn't do. Out of respect for your spouse, and so as not to create any doubt in your spouse's mind that would cause them not to trust YOU, you just shouldn't do it.

12 moms found this helpful

If you two had any respect for each other you'd both grow up and stop doing things to upset each other.

I don't think clubs are a good place for a wife and mom to hang out, and I feel the same way for men. What is there to do at a club besides drink and dance and not be able to hear each other talk because the music is so loud? Yeah, lots of fun.

Find some wholesome things to do together, and concentrate on each other and your family. Neither of you should have rules for the other. You should be mature enough to not upset your spouse -- otherwise why be married?

8 moms found this helpful

Are you sure that you want an honest answer?

Ok, here is my answer.

No, your husband is not being controlling.
You are his wife and he has the right to voice his thoughts on where you hang out.
And you have the right to voice your thoughts on where he hangs out.

This is how I feel.
If the two of you want to stay married for many many many years to come then the both of you need to stop hanging out with single people and start hanging out with married couples.

You are a mother and a wife now and you do not belong in a club.
He is a father and husband and he does not belong in a strip club.

When you two got married, you then became one. You became a FAMILY.

In our house FAMILY IS FIRST, not friends.

We do FAMILY NIGHT OUT. NOT girls or guys night out.

I hope that you two can work this out and try having a date night with each other instead of trying to get away from each other.

Just LOVE all over each other.

This is with all due respect and I do hope that I did not offend anyone.

Take care and remember we only have one chance to do things right.

= )

8 moms found this helpful

no married women do not go to clubs.
Unmarried women between the ages of 21 and 30 go to clubs to pick up guys.
I agree with your husband. But also no married men do not go to strip clubs either. You both need to grow up and find more mature places to do your "hanging out"

8 moms found this helpful

Your husband is trying to control you. He also is plenty happy to punish you. You aren't looking at naked men flashing their man parts around with the express purpose of turning you on so that you'll put money in their g-strings. That is what your husband is saying he will do if you go to a club - he will go look at naked women who are shaking themselves or giving lap dances.

Do you see what's wrong with this picture? In order to prevent him from having sexual thought for a woman who is not his wife doing sexual things in front him, he is demanding that you not be with your girlfriends. This is manipulation and it's wrong. He's not a very good husband, and what he's saying is that he wants his cake and eat it too. He wants the titty show (or more) and he wants you to have no contact with anyone.

I feel sorry for you. My husband would never treat me like this.

D.

7 moms found this helpful

Umm, no I do not agree.
My husband would never think to try and tell me where I can or can not go or who i can associate with.
He is my husband not my parent.
I would never tell him anything of the sort either.....
We trust and love each other and I know he will never do anything to hurt me and I will never hurt him.
So where we go on our girl/guy night out is not important.
We usually don't go out much anyway and if we do it is on a date with each other so yea....

But NO, he is wrong, he is controlling and no spouse should tell another spouse what to do or where to go or who to be friends with.

I also think that it is unfair for you to expect him to not go to a certain place but be upset when he wants you to not go to a certain place though... I mean, you both are wrong, in my opinion, on that front.

We met at a club and also at a church we both attended. We like to go like once every (maybe) 3 or 4 months to a club and listen to music and have a drink. I have gone a handful of times with a couple friends of mine. It is not a big deal.
Again it is all about trust.
You can not have a marriage with out trust.

Just my thoughts. Good luck.

7 moms found this helpful

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