So he wakes ME up at 6:30am for some 'wink wink nudge nudge' time. We fall back asleep thankfully afterwards. Son wakes us up at 8:15. We all eat breakfast. I start washing dishes. Husband falls asleep on the couch! Dishes are now done, two loads of laundry are almost all done. I've gotten myself and son dressed. I am PISSED that he is still asleep on the couch! He woke ME up this morning early so he could get his 'satisfaction.' And now he's asleep again and I'm tired too, but have the 3 yr old to take care of. Anyone else have a guy as 'dreamy' as mine?? Vent time, ladies!
@ Dawn -- he's 30 yrs old. Is that old or young??
@ other posters -- 3 yr old is definitely in play time mode. He doesn't nap till after lunch. At which point I will take my nap with him. And I wish I'd gotten a "big O" this morning as well. I was too sleepy and too not-in-the-mood at 6:30am. I am much more a day-time or night-time person for nooky. But I did not tell him no this am. And there have been times I've woken him up (generally from a mid-day nap) for myself to get 'satisfaction' from him after the kiddo's fallen asleep.
@ SLM - I am so sorry to hear that! Sending you some hugs!
@ Jen - -ya know what I really am burned out. I have been changing diapers and doing all the bathing for my son for 3 years now and I am really burnt out/burned out whatever the phrase is. I like your suggestions. THANKS
Guys aren't mind readers. He asked for what he wanted this morning, now ask for what you want. My husband told me early on that I shouldn't get mad at him for him not being a mind reader. I have to ask him for what I need help with because guys sometimes just don't get it.
I guess it has been so long since we've had some morning "wink wink nudge nudge" time that I'd be in a pretty darn good mood all morning and would let him sleep in til 10 ;-)
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If you don't want him to sleep, wake him up. He can't just know you're disappointed he's sleeping. Tell him what you feel. And, if you don't want to have sex...don't. It should be a mutually pleasing and desired experience.
On the bright side, YOU got "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" time too!! Hopefully you are using this time for yourself as well. Don't be pissed, just take the three year old and take a nap :)
He isn't THAT bad, just wake him up and go outside to a park together or something. Going outside and feeling the sun helps wake me up. Plan a nice day so that you don't go to bed angry at your husband.
Your three year old still takes naps?? You are a lucky woman! Your husband sounds pretty typical.
Oh I feel your pain honey. :)
Don't worry......you are not alone.
I say take a nap when your son does so you can get your rest.
Then next time....you just keep sleeping in the morning.
I know I need my sleep/rest to keep up w/my toddler. Eeek.
Hoping you get a nap in the afternoon!!!!!!
ha ha, are you married to my hubby?! He does that too!
ooh man!! My husband just told me to go take a nap!!! YIKES!!!
Guess you don't want to hear from me, eh?!
I'm sorry - I'd wake him up or take my baby into bed with me and go take a nap!!! Leave him a note on what needs to be done!!!
I'll share my hubby with you!! :)
I'm sorry you're having such a rough day!
My hubby works 3rd, so I've gotten used to the morning sex then him going to bed and me taking care of the house and kids.
I hope your day gets better!
Jess. this is my reality. it's ridiculously unfair. but i married "it". so i deal with "it". i guess i am just used to it.......
Unless he does this all of the time, I'm not seeing the problem, sorry. So he's taking a nap. Take one when he gets up. It's really all a trade off.... I mean you got your "O" too right :) I hope your day gets better!!
I only wish. My husband has NEVER been a romantic or otherwise. He never really liked sex. He says it's for procreation and young people. He's 49 and acts like he's 89.
Well, I love morning sex, so that part wouldn't have been a problem...
But, my ex used to take a nap every weekend morning, and it just burned me! I was busy cleaning, washing, laundry, and kid stuff while he snoozed in the chair. Drove me nuts!
Sounds like an ongoing case of burnout for you. Nothing that happened today seems too crazy to me, but maybe things have built up and you are worn down. I was feeling like I was working all the time and never had a break and I was getting really irritated at my husband. I told my husband that I wanted Wednesday evenings free because I felt totally overloaded and that I never got any break, he said great. Now I get away and do whatever I want and I don't even share what I am going to do, it's great :D I come home happier and my kids get some daddy time. He always bathes them and beds them and I get a mini-recharge. I usually go to a movie, or go read at starbucks for a while or have dinner with my mom, or do a little shopping, just whatever and I never spend much $$, sometimes just the price of a cup of joe ;)
Sometimes I fall asleep before my husband bc I am just so exhausted. He used to come in and start talking to me as if I had been awake the whole time he was, and this irritated me to no end. I finally just asked him to please try not to wake me if I was already asleep bc it was very annoying and I felt he was not respecting my rest. He said no prob, and it hasn't been.
I just bring these couple issues up to say that you not tell him what you want could be the root of all this. I don't mean go and complain that he never does anything blah blah blah. I mean be direct and to the point. Like maybe just tell your husband that morning lovin' is just a no go for you, not because you don't want him sexually but bc you are just too tired to get into it and could he please let you be at that time. Then just make sure that you do initiate sex at other times to reiterate that you are into him and want him. No-one wants to feel rejected sexually but hey, we all need our rest too. I think he can get that easily. Also, why did you do laundry today instead of plop on the sofa beside him? If you want to get laundry done on a Saturday morning, great, but that isn't his deal. If you want some help with laundry, ask him when he can help you with laundry and let him pick a day that works in his schedule. There is no reason Jr. can't play with toys or read books or watch cartoons while mom and dad both chill on the sofa or as someone else said, whenever he wakes, just tell him that you are going to catch a nap and kiss him on the way to your room. Just stop waiting on him for permission to live your life and be glad when he can catch a few z's as well. To me this sounds like good ole communication issues that can cause mounds of frustration but can be solved pretty easily once discussed. Hang in there!!
It's time to read, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The how is important and it will make a huge difference (unless you picked a bum). I'm sure you were more selective.
No one feels young at 6:30 a.m. after 3 years of sporadic sleep. I make it a point to get mine if I am going to go to the trouble of taking my clothes off. It will give you a better outlook on life even if you are tired. Buy a BOB to bring to the party and teach him to use it on you. Problem solved. Men have to sleep after an O, it is a switch in their head. Best wishes to you....I hope you get more sleep. It gets better.
Oh I have a 'McDreamy' all right...he sets the alarm at 6:20am & lays there & either lets it ring & ring or lays there for a solid hour while hitting the snooze button for that solid hour! What's the problem w/that you may ask? Well we're only like 10 miles from both our jobs so while we're that close, still only takes us like 20-30 min to get to wk so technically he doesn't HAVE to get up til like 7:15, or even 7am at the earliest b/c he takes a shower after he gets home & fixes his lunch the night before so he doesn't need extra time to do those things & so technically, all he REALLY needs time enough to do is just get up, change clothes, brush teeth, grab coffee & lunch & go! That takes what, 15 mins or less?? (he usually doesn't eat breakfast except on weekends). So why does he need to lay there in bed for an hour letting the alarm blare for that whole hour too just to get up FINALLY & spend another 20-30 mins wasting time outside sitting!...not only does this wake me up but as soon as I doze off again, there goes the alarm again! I finally had enough & said to him, "why don't you just set the alarm for when you ACTUALLY get up?" rather than just laying there for an hour letting it ring & keeping me from getting a full night's sleep?" I go on to mention that while I leave an hr after he does, I get up when he leaves so while I'd be cutting 30 mins, I'd be happy to get up that much earlier & get him up as well. He said that he sets the alarm that early b/c he needs to 'gradually' wake up! Ha ha ha. I told him that if he set the alarm an hour later, when he actually gets up, he wouldn't BE so tired! But No, he gets up after an hour of blaring alarm ringing just so he can go outside & sit for another 30 mins smoking his cancer sticks, drinking his coffee & 'relaxing' he says. I don't understand why he can't just pollute his lungs on the way to work. Do men not really grasp the 'time management' thing?? Can he not drink coffee on the way to work too??Why does he hafta wake me up for a solid hour then make noise getting dressed for another few mins then by the time he leaves, I'm wide awake & can't get back to sleep. That really irks me so I said, half-joking' well maybe you should sleep in another room then if you insist on not changing your alarm. So now he sleeps on the couch! He'd rather be uncomfortable & not get a good nights' sleep rather than changing his alarm to help me out! Now that we're married, he's also 'forgotten' how to clean up after himself...always leaving crumbs all over the stove or counter after fixing his lunch, etc & NEVER cleaning it up! Leaving dirty dishes or food out sometimes. I'm always 'nagging' him he says when I ask him to throw away the trash or clean the bathroom or just clean up after himself in general like throw away his dirty napkin or food scraps after dinner rather than leaving it where ever. He justs sits & plays on the computer or stays outside rather than helping now. Funny how he didn't behave this way when we were dating! He's also puts his hands all over me ALLLL the time! Doesn't matter if it's washing dishes, vacuuming, even brushing my teeth or getting in the shower but no sex. Since I've had a child, I'm quite a bit over weight & he no longer finds me attractive for sex but he sure likes to paw me! If I initiate sex...oh he's tired, has a headache or some excuse. I've never known any man who didn't want sex..and it's FREE! He just doesn't "get it"! MEN I tell ya!
My baby is 6 months and VERY ACTIVE. He refuses to crawl, wants to be on his feet...trying to get into EVERYTHING. I hand him over to hubby so I can get a break, and he hugs and kisses him and then puts him in a swing. When I do finally get him down, hubby picks him up for a few minutes and then hands him back to me to calm him down (feeding or nestling at breast). Well, I've already calmed him down!
Whew--I guess I needed that!
I am in the same boat but without the sex. My husband is not interested at all since I'm no longer 112 lbs (maybe 125 now and he finds me to be obese). UGH
I am the one that gets up with our three year old and lives on no sleep so I feel your pain. Sleep in a separate room when possible...and say NO when you are tired...you are not being treated fairly. 30 is young btw -I'm pushing 41 with a three year old! LOL
